A Family Name

by Liz Botts

  Charlotte shut the door to her room with a fierceness she hadn't meant. With a deep breath, Charlotte moved to look out the window with a sweeping view of the pastures to the west of the house. This land truly was beautiful. She didn't want to leave, but what kind of future did the five of them have. Shane and Sierra's grandparents would be there to claim them soon enough. Lexi would become Will's eventually. The next court date for custody was in a month, and the judge would certainly grant all rights to Will since he was Lexi's biological dad. As much as she had fought to keep the reality of their situation from sinking in, Charlotte had been forced to face facts as she had watched Lexi and Will develop a relationship over the past two months.

  And she had been developing her own timid feelings toward the man. Leaning her head against the cool pane of glass, Charlotte groaned. How could she be so dumb? When every small touch, every little glance, every movement Will made overwhelmed her senses and made her feel like a high schooler with a crush, she should have recognized what was happening. She could have dealt with a crush. Instead, she had gone blithely on her way, letting the feelings deepen to… what?

  As if the window were electrified, Charlotte jumped back. There was no way she was going to delve into those thoughts now. Not with the man in question waiting for her down the hall. The sensible part of her said that she should probably avoid the ride, but the rest of her screamed to go. So she threw open her closet, and hurriedly changed into jeans and a soft denim long sleeved shirt. The only riding boots she had were a beat up pair from Karen, but they worked just fine so Charlotte slid them on. With a quick brush of her hair, she secured the long locks into a single braid that fell down her back. Satisfied, she cast one final glance in the full length mirror that hung inside her closet.

  "Ready?" Will smiled at her, and she swore she could feel her heart skip a beat. Even with her steadily growing attraction to him, Charlotte was sure she had never reacted quite that way before.

  "Is your mom here?" An inane question brought on by a sudden shortness of breath.

  Will nodded as he retrieved their jackets from the front closet. Charlotte could hear the commotion from the kitchen. Karen was probably orchestrating a mass cookie baking party. That seemed to be her favorite activity. She played the role of grandmother quite well.

  Accepting Will's help as she shrugged into her jacket, Charlotte wondered again at the sanity of going out alone with him. The proximity to him and the remoteness of where they were headed certainly wouldn't help her addled brain and pounding heart.

  "We'll be gone a few hours," Will said as they walked through the kitchen.

  Karen smiled at them, with what Charlotte could have sworn was a knowing smile, but all she said was, "Enjoy yourselves. Hopefully the trail isn't too muddy. All this rain lately."

  The kids called cheerful goodbyes, even Shane took his fingers out of his mouth long enough to wave in their general direction. As Charlotte and Will made their way across the drive toward the horse barn, Charlotte mused, "Your mom is so good for all three of those kids. She really loves being a grandma, doesn't she?"

  "It's a role she was born to play," Will said. "Now let's get going. I can't wait to see you ride."

  ****

  Lexi watched through a slightly parted kitchen curtain as her dad and Charlotte entered the horse barn. The way they looked at each other made her want to whoop with joy. Things couldn't have been going better if she had planned them herself.

  Grandma Karen was letting Sierra dump flour into the mixing bowl. Lexi had never made so many cookies before in her life, and she had to admit she loved those moments in the warm kitchen with her actual grandmother. None of her foster grandmothers had ever taken much interest in her. A wave of self-pity washed over Lexi, and she felt tears prick the backs of her eyes. Things felt so right, she lived in constant fear that something, or someone, would mess it all up.

  She had a dad, and a mom, and a brother and sister. She had grandparents and uncles. She had a home. Lexi didn't remember when she had started thinking of Shane and Sierra as her brother and sister, but she did. They were closer to her, more important to her, than any of her foster siblings had ever been. That counted for something. Lexi knew it did.

  Charlotte had told her that eventually Shane and Sierra would be going to live with their real grandparents, but no one had said anything else since, so Lexi hoped it wouldn't happen. If Dad's friend had wanted him to take care of his kids, maybe that's how it would stay.

  "Would you like to measure out the chocolate chips?" Grandma Karen asked, distracting Lexi from her thoughts.

  She shook her head. "Naw, how about you do it, Shany? I'll help you, okay?"

  Lexi reached out for the little boy, who clambered willingly into her arms. She walked him over to the counter where the bag of chocolate chips and a measuring cup sat ready and waiting. Propping Shane up on the counter, Lexi opened the bag for him. With his free hand, Shane reached in, grabbed a fistful of morsels, and dropped them into the cup. Then he stuck his hand back in, snagged a few more, and popped them into his mouth. Lexi giggled. Shane smiled the way he always did when he made her laugh. Lexi knew he would snap out of his sadness. She could see it in him.

  "All done," Lexi said as she lifted Shane gently off the counter. "I'm going to give these to Grandma Karen now, okay Shane?"

  Shane nodded and followed Lexi back to the table. Grandma Karen took the chocolate chips and stirred them into the dough. After she doled out the right amount on the baking sheets, she allowed each child to eat a spoonful of the raw cookie dough.

  "I shouldn't let you," she said with a laugh. "But I think everyone needs to take some safe risks in their lives."

  Lexi didn't really know what Grandma Karen meant, but she ate her spoonful of cookie dough happily. While the cookies baked, Sierra and Shane settled into the living room to build with blocks and watch a cartoon. Lexi stayed at the kitchen table while her grandmother washed the dishes.

  "Grandma? Do you think Dad and Charlotte like each other?" Lexi asked. She felt embarrassed asking but she had to know. Her heart had been broken too many times by misplaced expectations, and she knew she couldn't let it happen again.

  Grandma Karen dried her hands on a dish towel and took a seat across the table. "I think it's safe to say that they like each other just fine."

  Lexi picked up a napkin from the lazy Susan in the middle of the table. Carefully she folded it into triangles and began to rip out small geometrical patterns. "No, I mean, do they like like each other? Do you think they'll fall in love and get married?"

  With the question laid out bare, Lexi felt vulnerable. She couldn't bring herself to look at her grandmother. Instead she focused on the snowflake that she was creating. The silence stretched on for what seemed like one million years.

  Finally Grandma Karen said, "I hope so, Lexi. I really do. Of course, folks all go about love in their own way, and you never can tell, but I think your dad and Charlotte have a fighting chance. I really do."

  Lexi exhaled happily. That was just what she had wanted to hear. A burst of energy sent her up from her chair and around the table. After a tight hug for her grandmother, Lexi nearly skipped into the living room to show Sierra and Shane the snowflake.

  ****

  "This is the perfect place to do a dig because the land is pretty much unusable for pastureland. It's too sandy." Will found that he liked explaining the logistics of the dig site to Charlotte almost as much as he liked riding along beside her. He felt knowledgeable. Plus the way she oohed and ahhed over the scenery made him nearly dizzy.

  "What made you decide to start teaching in the first place?" Charlotte asked, tugging her horse up as it dipped its huge head to munch on a snack of buffalo grass. "I mean, you have such a passion for the actual dig it seems. Why didn't you do that?"

  Will sighed. Why did she have to delve into that area? Couldn't they have kept this day light? No matter. The subject couldn't just hang between them; he might as wel
l bite the bullet. "I was going to. After I got my PhD, I was all set to go off and make the most important discoveries made in decades. I planned to discover a new dinosaur species that they'd name after me."

  He paused and glanced over at Charlotte. They had stopped on the top of a high ridge. The valley stretched out in front of them to the scrubby pine tree line, which sloped up dramatically. Instead of looking at the scenery though, Charlotte's gaze was trained right on him. She had a way of looking at him that made him feel like she could see past all the walls, right to the heart of the matter.

  "Mary and I had just gotten a divorce. We'd gotten married in Vegas after a real bender of a weekend. It's such a cliché, but sadly true. Mary and I had been on a few dates, and we headed out there with a bunch of friends. We tried for about a month to make it work. Obviously we know how that turned out." Will ran a hand through his dark hair and replaced his hat. "So I had just gotten accepted onto a dig in Russia. The team was doing some amazing work, and I couldn't wait to be part of it."

  He heard Charlotte draw in a quick breath. "So what happened?"

  "My dad had a heart attack. Walker called me while I was waiting to board the plane."

  "So you came back here, and abandoned your dreams."

  Will squirmed in the saddle. "Come on, let's get going again. We don't want to get caught in a rainstorm like we've been having lately."

  He got his horse to a fast trot before Charlotte caught up to him. When she was riding beside him again, Will felt a pang of regret at his childish response. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice so soft, he almost couldn't hear her over the hoof beats against the ground. "I didn't mean to pry."

  Nice one, jerk, he scolded himself. Reining in his horse, Will waited for Charlotte to stop as well. When she was facing him once again, he looked directly into her eyes, and said, "You have nothing to apologize for. It's my pride making me feel this way. My teaching position at the Institute is a dream in and of itself. Dreams change. I came back because my family needed me."

  Charlotte bit her lip, so Will could tell that she had something else on her mind, perhaps another question or insight. Was he really so gruff that she didn't feel like she could ask him? "Tell me," he said.

  "Tell you what?" The surprise in Charlotte's voice evident as her eyebrows lifted gracefully into her thick fringe of bangs.

  Will laughed softly. "I can tell something else is on your mind. Just tell me."

  Charlotte joined his soft laughter. "I guess I was just wondering if that's why you and your dad don't get along."

  The words hung thick in the air between them. No wonder she hadn't wanted to voice her thoughts, especially given his most recent spate of behavior where his father was concerned. Childish to the core. "It might be part of it. Not all of it, though. You have to understand, things between me and my father have always been… tense. We just can't seem to get along no matter how much my mother gets us to try. Well, my mother, and now you."

  A flush of color rushed across Charlotte's face, and even as he felt bad for teasing her to embarrassment, he had to admit he liked how pretty she looked with her pink cheeks. The desire he had been trying so hard to suppress boiled up in his veins. What he wouldn't give to kiss her right now. To get away from making an inappropriate move, Will turned his horse toward the western rim of the pasture.

  He cleared his throat. "The dig site is just over there. We should probably leave the horses to graze and walk the rest of the way. I don't want to disturb any of the sites."

  Charlotte nodded, but didn't say anything else. If she noticed any tactless behavior on his part she didn't let on. Instead she swung down off her horse, and waited for him to do the same, a pleasant smile on her face. Wait a second. Will stole another glance at Charlotte. He had to wonder if the smile might actually be a smirk. Once again he thought just maybe he was in over his head.

  ****

  The trench of the dig site was deep and wide. Will had pointed out several interesting areas that were marked with small yellow flags, signaling that further digging was required. Charlotte had never seen anything like it.

  "This is amazing," she said, casting a sidelong glance at Will.

  "It's nothing really," Will replied with his self-deprecating tone that made Charlotte bristle. Didn't he know how wonderful it all was? The opportunity he was giving his students… Charlotte shook her head.

  When Will lapsed into a long silence, Charlotte turned to face him fully. His eyes were closed, and his jaw was clenched. She could see from the twist of his features that he was in pain. Helplessness swallowed her whole. The intense desire to ease his suffering washed over her, akin to nothing she had ever felt except when dealing with the kids. Can this be love? The thought made her breath catch, but she refused to allow herself to dwell on it.

  Reaching out, Charlotte took Will's hand. He opened his eyes, which she could have sworn were shiny. She wished he felt comfortable enough to cry. A man like Will would never cry in front of anyone, no matter how much he was grieving.

  As he laced his fingers through hers, Charlotte felt her world tilt on its access. With a gentle tug, Will wrapped his arms around her. Charlotte laid her head against his chest, listening to the gentle thumping of his heart. How could he be so calm when they were standing so close? She was fairly certain that her own heart was beating like a hummingbird's wings.

  "I can't help but think that if Steve hadn't been so committed to this project, than he and Gretchen would still be alive." Will's voice caught, and Charlotte pulled back a little so she could look up at his face. He gazed down at her with such an intense look that she knew this was him trusting her with something he hadn't shared with anyone else.

  They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. Time stretched in all directions, slowing down, enveloping them, and sealing them off from the rest of the world. Charlotte couldn't bring herself to look away or even blink. She knew that if she did anything to break the spell, things would never be able to travel down that path again. This moment would change everything.

  Charlotte slid her hands up Will's chest, encircling his neck. Will tilted her head back and dipped toward her. She could feel his breath against her cheek as his lips brushed her skin. A shiver rolled down Charlotte's back, sending delicious chills racing over her whole body. He smelled divine — a heady combination of leather and something woodsy. Her fevered brain counted the seconds before Will's lips touched her own.

  The crack of thunder echoed through the valley, rolling off the trees. Will and Charlotte broke apart and looked up at the sky. Charlotte couldn't shake the confusion from her head. They had been about to kiss, and now this? The dark storm clouds had blown in while they were distracted. Charlotte turned back to Will feeling lost. What were they supposed to do now?

  "Come on," Will said tugging on her hand. With lightning flashing and thunder crashing, they ran through the meadow to a small out building that looked more like a lean to than an actual structure. They ducked inside just as rain began to fall, thick and heavy. Charlotte peered out through the door as visibility was reduced to a few feet just as a wall of water poured from the sky. When she turned toward Will, she noted that he was lighting a kerosene lantern on a small table in the middle of the room.

  "What is this place?" Charlotte wrapped her arms around herself as she peered into the shadows.

  Will dusted off his hands on his jeans. Charlotte averted her eyes to avoid the thoughts that snuck into her mind anyway. The fact that they had almost kissed ran contrary to everything that Charlotte knew should happen. If she and Will got involved, how would that affect the kids? How would that affect her?

  "It used to be an old bunk house for cowboys stuck out on the range during winter storms. Since we don't run cattle in this pasture anymore, it fell out of use. When we started doing the dig, we started using it as a little base camp, I guess."

  "Oh." Charlotte couldn't get anything else out of her mouth but a gasp as Will stepped up close to h
er.

  "Now, where were we?" Will murmured as he reached out and drew her closer.

  Charlotte bit her lip, sucking in her breath. She tilted her head back and gazed up at him feeling almost giddy with anticipation. He lowered his head, and Charlotte felt like he was moving in slow motion. When his lips met hers, she let herself melt into him. She wound her hands around his neck, drawing him closer. Will's mouth slid across hers and the kiss deepened. Charlotte felt like she might fall into this kiss. His teeth grazed her lower lip, jarring her out of the easy give and take back into reality. Instead of making the moment awkward, it only heightened the tension.

  With her eyes wide open Charlotte could see the tiny flecks of gold in Will's hazel eyes. His long dark lashes brushed his cheeks as he blinked. Never before had Charlotte been this aware of her intimacy with anyone. When they broke apart, they were both breathing hard. Will braced his hands on Charlotte's shoulders as they both waited for things to get back to normal. The only sounds in the small building were their ragged breathing and the rain pattering steadily on the roof. Yet, neither one of them looked away. They continued to stare into one another's eye. She was unsure what this new development meant or where it would lead. All Charlotte knew was that she would need to reassess what she was willing to risk. Otherwise she was in big trouble.