Shades of Amber

by Morgan Smith

  If she wanted a chase, I would be more than happy to oblige.

  Chairs scraped linoleum as Miss Mitts prattled on about more class time for our projects.

  If Jade did show, she would not be happy.

  Moments later, the object of my obsession waltzed in and claimed the seat next to me. The knots in my chest loosened as I inhaled. She smelled like fresh apples.

  “What did I miss?” Bangs hid her brown eyes, so I brushed them aside.

  “Not much.” My vague answer led to her perusal of the whiteboard.

  “We have more class time?”

  “Yes.” I took her hand, enjoying the way her lashes fluttered as my thumb stroked her wrist. “What did you really think of The Phantom of the Opera?”

  She held my gaze for a few seconds, and then drew circles in her notebook. “I thought it was one big masquerade illustrated by Leroux to keep the readers enthralled.”

  I sat back, rubbing my chin. She’d just given me another excuse to mention the dance.

  “Speaking of masquerades, will you go to the Halloween dance with me?”

  “I’m not going.”

  “Why not? It sounds like fun.”

  “We’re supposed to be having a discussion,” Jade whispered.

  “We are. I’m discussing how badly I want you to accompany me to the dance.”

  She turned away, refusing to glance at me until I focused on the project. Once that happened, she scooted closer, allowing our arms and legs to “accidentally” brush. I savored those moments, along with the rare times when she smiled and laughed.

  Although we shared several classes, this was the only one where we sat together… unless I could get someone to give up their seat. That might be a chore since the neighbors in her other classes were interested in more than study tips, but I’d manage. As pretty as Jade was, she didn’t care about anything but school.

  Unfortunately, that made me want her more. I wanted her compassion, her trust, but more than anything, I wanted her love.

  “So, will you go with me?” I asked as we shifted our desks back.

  Jade rolled her eyes. “You never quit, do you?”

  “Not when it comes to you.” The bell rang before she could answer, but she hadn’t said no.

  A few hours later, I found her at the picnic area. I sat down and put my arm around her shoulders, pleased when she didn’t move away.

  “What do you want?”

  I smiled. “Just you.”

  “You’re impossible.”

  “What do you want, cher?”

  “I want you to leave me alone.”

  “Tell me how to erase you from my mind and I will,” I whispered. “I think about you when I wake, when I sleep.” My fingers trailed her arm. “Say you’ll be my girl, so I can fill my thoughts with us, instead.”

  “Haven’t you noticed?” Her voice wavered. “You can’t woo me with empty words.”

  “I mean every syllable.”

  “Please don’t.”

  “Don’t what?”

  “Please do not string me along, Troy.” She leaned into me as I cupped her cheek.

  “I wouldn’t be able to let you go if I tried.”

  2010

  Blood marred the clean glass. I stepped aside as the crow slid down the window. Jade’s expression was a glorious mixture of fear and longing. She knew what it meant.

  I was coming for her and nothing would stop me. Not her change in activities, not her friends—nothing. Jade would come to trust me again, I just had to remind her how much she loved me.

  The Halloween Dance

  Jade was finally beginning to let her guard down.

  On Wednesday, she gave me her phone number, admitting that it might be nice to hear my voice before she went to bed. I wanted a place in her dreams, so I called at midnight, and we talked until she fell asleep.

  When I texted Thursday afternoon, she proposed we go to dinner and a movie. Everything went well until she found my apartment key in her coat pocket. We argued in the parking lot after dinner, but she couldn’t erase the heat in her gaze. She enjoyed our sparring matches, and so did I.

  As I drove to get her Friday night, I knew she was exactly what I needed in my life. I pulled up to her house and parked my red Ferrari in the driveway. It was a quaint two-story home with a screened in front porch. I raised my hand to the door, but paused, deciding to open the box with her corsage before I rang the bell.

  After a moment, her mother opened the door.

  I smiled and shook her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Nightingale. I’m Troy.”

  “It’s nice to meet you as well.” Her gaze lingered on my mask, and then she turned toward the stairs. “Jade, Troy is here!”

  I didn’t have to wait long. She was dressed as Christine, and I, as the Phantom. My vocabulary vanished as my gaze trailed her cream bodice, down the bell sleeves until the fabric flared around her hips and touched the ground.

  I slid the half mask onto my hair so that I could fully admire her beauty. “You look lovely, cher.”

  Her expression shifted from surprise to lust to cautious in less than thirty seconds, but I was well adept at deciphering the puzzle that was my Jade. She remained frozen, despite her mother’s attempts to pull her aside so that I could enter.

  “Don’t look so surprised, Jade. You’ve already mentioned that he likes The Phantom of the Opera as well.” She moved back. “Let me grab the camera!”

  As soon as her mother left the room, I put my hands on Jade’s waist, pushing her inside. She gasped when I pulled her against me, holding her tight as I listened for Mrs. Nightingale’s footsteps.

  “How did you know?”

  “I didn’t, I just thought you’d enjoy having your own phantom.”

  “I do.” She wrapped her arms around me as I caressed her shoulders.

  When her mom returned, we smiled and posed until Jade convinced her that twenty pictures were more than enough, and then we were on our way.

  My angel glanced at me as we approached the car. “Did you know I’d have this costume?”

  “No, but you look beautiful.”

  “You look good too.” She smiled up at me as I helped her into the passenger seat. “Maybe I should’ve brought some kind of repellent to keep other women from preying on you.”

  I laughed as I got behind the wheel. “I should say the same about you and other men. Any suggestions?”

  She shrugged. “Garlic might work.”

  My eyebrow rose. “Are these vampires?”

  “Of course not, but garlic breath might keep them away.”

  I brought her hand to my lips. “As long as you promise not to leave me.”

  She shivered as my fingers trailed her neck. “Don’t worry; I’ll even drag you to the restroom with me.”

  “I wouldn’t mind.” I started the engine instead of saying what I wanted to do to her in that small room with a lock. Although we hadn’t discussed intimacy, I knew she was waiting. I just hoped I was the one she waited for.

  The university’s ballroom went silent as we entered. Jade was the epitome of grace as I swept her along the dance floor. Her body yielded to mine in the most amazing way, but I couldn’t allow my feelings to scare her away. Every day, I fell harder, deeper.

  My conscience knew it wasn’t right to get involved with Jade, but I couldn’t let her go. I would do anything to keep her in my arms.

  ¤¤¤¤

  Shaken

  What is this feeling that makes me quake?

  Makes my heart quiver?

  Makes my hands shake?

  The thought of you burns in my mind,

  Like a precious photograph

  Etched in time.

  You say you're my love...

  My every desire,

  But these thoughts of you

  Set me on fire.

  Not in the way that most might think,

  These flames are completely

  Smothering.

 
; They call to me,

  Reach for me,

  But all I can think

  Is that if they get near me...

  I'll never be free!

  -Jade

  Chapter 7

  2010

  Jade

  I didn’t want to think about it, but perhaps I really was being haunted by Troy’s ghost. He used to call me late at night, joking that he wanted to be in my dreams. Now, it was working a bit too well. Even when I didn’t answer, he joined me in the dark.

  Two hours after his midnight call, the phone rang again. I didn’t think, I hit ignore and threw it across the room.

  I went through the school days like a member of the living dead—minus the pale skin and zombie walk, and several of my teachers commented on my declining grades. I was finally shocked back into reality on the way to my car Tuesday afternoon.

  A few feet away from my parking spot, I noticed a paper flapping beneath the windshield wiper. Inhaling slowly, I braced myself because the way my luck had been going, it was either a ticket or a “Sorry I hit your car” note. At the mere thought of someone having dinged my Beetle, I broke into a run. My hair whipped in the wind as I inspected my baby, but I couldn’t find a scratch.

  As quickly as my relief came, dread crept up my spine. I searched the parking lot for loiterers, and then picked it up. Breaking the gold seal, my heart sank as I scanned the thick stationary. I looked around again, until I realized I was standing out in the open where anyone could grab me.

  My keys went from my pocket to the door in record time. Once I was behind the wheel, I hit the locks and exhaled. I felt like I’d just dodged a bullet, considering what the note said.

  You look tired, cher. What did your English teacher say when you dozed in her class? Did you tell her about me? If you answer your phone, I won’t call as much.

  P.S. look under the passenger seat.

  -Troy

  Troy had been in my car.

  What if he tampered with something?

  I sat up and turned slowly.

  What if he was hiding like in that urban legend?

  My fingers dug into my thigh as I peeked at my empty backseat. My relief was short lived as I considered his postscript.

  Leaning over the console, I stiffened the instant my fingers brushed something cool. Beneath the silver wrapping paper was a square box. My hand shook as I withdrew the silver chain with amber beads. It looked antique. I touched the amber stone in the center. It was warm.

  It slipped from my hands as I started the car.

  How could a stone trap heat when it was cold outside?

  I shook my head.

  Troy knew exactly how to hit me where it hurt. It was hard to resist a nice piece of jewelry.

  What was the gift that kept on giving?

  Insanity.

  Wednesday the surprise was at my desk in French class, along with a note.

  Mi Amor,

  You are more beautiful every day.

  Though it is almost unbearable to be without you, I smile because we will be together soon.

  –Troy

  I didn’t want to see my not so dead boyfriend again.

  Was he a ghost? A zombie? I wasn’t too keen on finding out.

  I crumbled the note with an unnecessary amount of force and threw it away. When I came back, there was a slender box in my seat and inside, one crimson rose.

  I turned to the girl behind me, wishing I knew her name. “Did you see who brought this?”

  “No.”

  Nodding, I turned to a cluster of guys to my left. Their names were as foreign to me as Latin or Spanish. “Did you guys see who left this?”

  Once they shook their heads, I turned around, wondering when I’d become so disconnected.

  My hand shook as I rubbed my pounding chest.

  I hadn’t felt this helpless since the day Troy left me.

  Although the rose wasn’t personal, the note had been frightening.

  “We will be together soon?” Yeah right!

  On Thursday, there was a medium sized package in my locker. The note fell to the ground as I ripped into the silver wrapping paper.

  “What’s your deal?” I muttered as I gazed down at the burgundy garment nestled in white tissue paper. I lifted one of the thin straps until the dress dangled from my fingertips. It was lovely, but I couldn’t—wouldn’t accept anything from him.

  I crammed it back in my locker, ripped open the note, and tried to keep my calm.

  My patience is wearing thin, Jade. You know why I’m doing this. Give in so I can make you forget all the days we’ve been apart.

  I start to shred the letter, but his lack of a signature bothered me. I glanced over my shoulder and then back to the paper because my ex was nothing, if not thorough. Sure enough, there is a small arrow at the bottom of the page.

  I know you want to demonstrate your freedom, but I should warn you that my love for the chase has only intensified.

  -Troy

  “You are not in control. This is my life.” I tore at the paper like a human shredder, holding my breath until the final piece hit the floor. “I stopped caring about your desires a long time ago.”

  Speak to Me

  I look into your eyes,

  You weave a spell.

  You want me so bad,

  But I must prevail…

  If I give into your demands,

  I would not withstand

  This magic that consumes me

  Like quicksand.

  You’re in my mind,

  My heart,

  And my dreams.

  But nothing with you…

  is as it seems.

  You’re my drug of choice,

  My Achilles heel,

  But I know that I am stronger…

  STILL.

  -Jade

  Chapter 8

  Friday morning was torture. The sun was too bright, my bedroom was too warm, and there was far too much noise.

  Tap. Tap. Tap.

  I sat up, squinting as my brain struggled to place the sound. In my pink slippers, I shuffled toward my balcony.

  Even Troy would have more sense than to knock on my window at 7 a.m. Right?

  I raced outside and found a woodpecker striking a tree.

  Deep down, I knew Troy couldn’t be behind every single thing that happened during my day, but it was hard to cut the paranoia off. I turned around and almost fell on my face. The large square box was leaning against the siding with a black bow in the center. I was too afraid to open it.

  He was driving me crazy with all the gifts and phone calls. There had to be a way to make him stop. I left the box untouched and went to get dressed.

  Since I’d stopped checking my reflection a week and a half ago, I could only imagine how deep the shadows were. At school, I rushed from class to class, always looking over my shoulder, and my nights....

  Those consisted of cowering beneath my blankets with a book and a flashlight like some kid up past her bedtime. I guess I was afraid of what might happen if he knew I was home alone. It was tempting to stay with my parents, but I couldn’t bring my problems to their doorstep.

  What if he tried to visit? Would I let him come in for tea or coffee? I hoped not.

  Since I spent most of my time reading and hiding out; I rarely saw my friends, not to mention the fact that my bookshelves were almost empty.

  As I drove to school, I considered what my life had turned into these last few weeks. My sleep-deprived reflection startled me when I caught sight of myself in the rearview mirror.

  How could I let some guy do this to me? Well, not anymore!

  By the time I got to school, I knew how I’d handle my “Troy” situation.

  The weekend and school days passed as I ignored his distraction attempts, and by the end of the week, I was sleeping a full eight hours. I took a deep breath and smiled as I sat on the bench in the Outdoor Art Museum. He hadn’t reached out in two glorious days, and I was beside myself with
joy.

  It felt good to be free. I should have put my phone on silent after that first night, but I still loved him. I wanted him to reach out to me, but not if he was messing with my health and academic standing. I wouldn’t let him break me.

  Caught in the moment, I waited a little longer before looking at my phone.

  I was gonna be late for Calculus.

  Grabbing my backpack, I sprinted across campus, burst through the lobby doors, and ran upstairs.

  Time was on my side until I rounded the corner. “I am so sorry,” I said as I plowed into a tall figure. I put on my best smile as strong arms caught my waist. Black, wavy hair shielded his eyes, but his smile was familiar.

  His hand smothered my screams as he pulled me into a dark room. My feet and teeth aimed to make contact, but he held me tighter, squeezing the air from my lungs, and then he locked the door.

  I blinked and saw tiny bursts of light. His hand was obstructing my flow of oxygen. I tried to remember the glimpse of him in the hall, but it happened too fast.

  I couldn’t see, but I could feel him. His breathing was heavy, his voice husky as he said, “Don’t scream, cher.”

  It really was him.

  “Nod for me, Jade. If your screams lure someone, it won’t be pretty.”

  My head bobbed up and down.

  “That’s my girl.”

  His hand slid from my mouth, caressed my cheek, and tangled in my hair. I swayed as I inhaled his cologne. It was that same heady mixture of amber and spice. My fingers flexed around his bicep as I tried to steady myself.