The Forsaken

by Renee Pace

  She allowed her soul to fuel through her cells and then gifted it to him. The second her soul left her the world went dark. Too late she realized, maybe the gifting of her soul would truly be the death of her.

  * * *

  Isabella heard the Cherub’s anguished note. The sound of breaking crystal soared through her entire system. Bolting up from the bed, she heard the fleeting sounds of her sisters’ gathering outside her door. With haste, she opened her bedroom door to allow them all to enter. Tears of anguish, worry, and something much darker marred their faces. The only Cherub missing was Anya. For that, Izzy was glad.

  They began speaking all at once, worry making their voices carry high notes.

  “We’ll find her,” said Izzy. “Already Mike and Nathanael are looking. If we heard Shea’s scream, then Nathanael will too. He’ll find her and bring her back, no matter what.” Why now do I have such faith in this Sere? She’d cursed him enough when he’d left that two new burn marks of Rashi script now looped around her left leg, adding to her body’s soreness.

  It was Meredith who spoke. “Gareth can help.”

  Izzy digested Meredith’s words, her heart warring slightly with the wisdom of her best friend. “If you can reach him,” she said.

  “He’s…he’s in the common room,” said Meredith. “I’ll ask him. He would be honored to help us, Izzy. And it would be good for him.”

  A not so subtle poke, a reminder Gareth still fought the good fight. “Thanks, Meredith. Please ask him. I…” The world started to tilt, Izzy grabbed at the sleeve of the sister standing closest to her.

  Immediately, Meredith took control. “You, Izzy, are going back to bed. Nathanael told us that he ordered you not to move. He would not be pleased, and before you argue, he’s right. Your wounds were grave last night. We almost lost you. Ruth? Tuck her back into the bed. Cornelia, please fetch some food from the kitchen for Izzy and bring her a cup of peppermint tea. I will talk to Gareth, and once you have eaten, I’ll check in on you and fill you in on what I know. That’s the best course of action for us all. We can no more run around this town looking for Shea than you. Since our exile the sisters have not used the weapons and I’m afraid letting them loose now would not be a wise choice. Let these friends, let these warriors, fight this fight for us.”

  Izzy nodded, her will struggling with obedience. I should have made them continue to practice their weapons. I should be the one out there looking for Shea. It’s my job to keep them all safe. Once again, I’ve failed them.

  Meredith waited until the other sisters left, doing as ordered. “The burden you take on for us is too much. Maybe it’s time for us to ask for forgiveness.”

  A painful chuckle flew from Izzy. “She won’t hear it. Do you think I have not tried all this time to pray, to seek her guidance? For years, I prayed four times a day…ah, I see you thought I didn’t, but I did, Meredith. I prayed and waited. I opened my heart and achingly listened to nothing. This penance will never be served. We will never walk through the heavenly gates again. I am more than sorry I got you and all of them into this mess, and if I could trade my life to allow you all into the heavenly realm, I would. Even that sacrifice was met with silence. Never fear I will never leave you.”

  “There will come a day when she will answer. We are not forgotten,” said Meredith, her voice measured and full of assurance.

  Izzy didn’t say anything. Meredith didn’t hear the Cherub voices from the heavenly realm at night like she did. Her friend remained oblivious to what the Cherubs called them from the moment they were exiled—the Forsaken. Izzy hoped Meredith remained ignorant. Taking away her faith in the Mistress was not something Izzy planned. She might have lost hers years ago, but a Cherub without faith felt like a lost soul. A feeling no one deserves to live with. Izzy settled back under the covers, praying Nathanael found Shea and that they weren’t too late.

  * * *

  Nathanael wished with all his soul he had his wings. The high-pierced note had to have come from Shea. He knew the human, Mike, hadn’t heard it, but he did.

  “This way. She’s down here.” Nathanael ran like he was chasing demons. Mike kept up, fortunately, because Nat wasn’t in the mood to wait for some human. Seraphim were faster and stronger than humans but Mike seemed to be genuinely concerned for Shea as he pumped his legs. Sprinting down a second alley, Nat almost missed her. Mike didn’t. He zeroed in on her crumpled form. She was curled into the fetal position. Mike fell to his knees beside Shea, and his hands shook as he gently covered her bloodied body. The smell of sulfur hit Nat. He suspected a demon had taken Shea’s soul.

  “She needs to go to the hospital,” said Mike, cradling the unconscious Shea in his bulky arms close to his heart.

  Nat shook his head. “No. We take her back to her sisters. They will mend her.”

  Mike took two steps toward him. “Are you out of your freaking mind? She’s been attacked. She’s unconscious. She needs medical attention now, not later.” Without waiting for Nat to answer the big guy marched with his small burden out of the alley.

  “No, Mike. She cannot go to a human hospital. They are unable to help her. Her sisters will sing to her and start the healing process.” I hope.

  Mike turned on him. “What’s with all the weird talk? Human hospital, singing to her, no shit. That’s not going to help her.”

  “For her it will. She’s not human.”

  “The bunch of you are freaking nuts,” said Mike, still walking away from the alley.

  “She looks human, but we are not,” said Nat.

  “Great, you’re about to tell me she’s some freaking alien or something. Save it. Tell that one to the doctor.”

  Nat did the only thing he could. He didn’t have his wings but he had his Seraphim glow, a holy glow he’d had to dampen since falling to Earth. “Mike, turn around.”

  Mike turned. His mouth gaped open. “Holy Christ. Mother of God! What the Hell are you?”

  Nat hovered off the ground, his body a golden glow. “I’m most certainly not from Hell. We are angels. Shea is a Cherub and I, a Seraphim. Her soul has been cruelly taken by a demon. The only thing that can save her now is her fellow Cherub sisters. Their heavenly voices will help heal her.”

  Mike stood rock still, carefully tucking Shea’s small body closer to his. “I…I knew they were different, I just didn’t know…just didn’t even think. Holy shit, how is this even possible?”

  Nat dropped his glow to stand before Mike. “I will explain what I can once she is safe with her sisters. Time is not our friend here. Why don’t I carry her back? We are going to need to run if we’re going to have a chance at healing her.”

  Mike’s arms tensed. “No. I’ll carry her. I managed to keep pace running here with you and I sure as Hell don’t plan on letting her go now.”

  “That’s what I thought you’d say.”

  * * *

  “You should have told me.”

  Mike stood directly in front of Izzy. They were both in the common room, the white sofas looked the same and the place even smelled the same, but everything was different. Izzy watched how still Mike held himself. She highly suspected he felt like the foundation of his world had been tipped upside down.

  Izzy wanted to kill Nathanael. He didn’t have the right to tell Mike. While a part of her suspected he’d had to, she still was angry with him. It should have been her. After all their years together, after all his help, he deserved to hear the truth of what they were from her, not a Seraphim who’d barged into their world less than a week ago.

  Mike wasn’t one to put off a confrontation, but Izzy suspected knowing she was an angel actually made him give weight to his words. Their entire relationship, something she’d built up for years, had changed with Nathanael’s disclosure. It was exactly why Izzy had never told Mike the truth.

  Izzy hated that she still felt worn out from her own ordeal, but she’d lent her voice to the healing chant. After two hours, exhaustion clearly written on her face,
she’d been ushered out by Meredith. Sipping a cup of dark hot coffee, she waited for Mike’s anger to cool. He’d been a restless lion since returning with Shea’s bloodied form.

  “Did you think me unworthy?”

  The question caught her off guard. Izzy placed her mug on the nearby side table and stood up until they were almost nose to nose. As tall as she was, Mike was taller and his bulk made him look ferocious. “Never unworthy, Mike. Never that. Especially after what you saw. Your eyes did not deceive you. A demon claimed you sister’s life. What would you have me say? Hi, Mike, by the way—the teenager you saved from the streets and all the girls she’s brought home like stray dogs aren’t human, rather angels? Kind of like fallen angels. And all her sisters, well, they’re not really sisters, we’re all Cherub angels, and because of me, we got kicked out of heaven for good. How’s that for you?”

  Mike took Izzy by the shoulders, the contact startling her. “This isn’t easy for me, Izzy, so being flippant and sarcastic isn’t working in your favor. I saw things tonight that I’m still trying to process.”

  Izzy wondered then what Nathanael had done and why he had felt the need to disclose their secret.

  Looking him in the eyes, she tilted her head up. “Did you see a demon?”

  He looked at her for a good minute and then let go. “No…Christ, I wish I had seen that. Or better yet, I wish we had…” He ran agitated hands over his face, his emotions swirling through the air around Izzy and making her feel nauseous.

  “Shh, it’s okay. I know exactly how you feel. The first time I saw a demon—”

  “When was that?”

  Izzy got it then; he wanted the whole truth and nothing but the truth. “Mike, if you want me to disclose everything to you, I think you should sit.” Izzy picked up her mug, took a sip and sat back down on the sofa, patting the spot next to her. Hesitation made him pause but Mike was not a coward. Izzy vowed then to tell him everything even though it was going to hurt him in ways he hadn’t anticipated.

  * * *

  Drained did not begin to define how Izzy felt. Her talk with Mike had not been smooth. Did I expect it would be? Maybe.

  “You shouldn’t have told him,” said Izzy. She yearned to shout those words at Nathanael, knowing it would set them at war, but somehow she managed to gain control. A rare feat these days. She tried hard not to notice how his mere presence filled the room and failed. Izzy judged it close to 3:00 a.m., and Nathanael looked like he’d flown all the way through Hell and back.

  “No choice. He had to know. Now—about us.”

  Izzy smirked. The thing about Nathanael was he acted like a Seraphim, all straight to the point with no subtlety. “Not now, Nathanael, I’m tired.”

  “And you didn’t listen to me. You should be resting.”

  Without any warning, he scooped in, picked her up from the sofa in one smooth move and started to march from the room to her sanctuary, her bedroom. Izzy hated how much his surprised actions pleased her.

  “Seriously, I do have my own legs. I can walk.”

  “Knowing you, you’d walk back out into some alley to fight some other demon. I am tucking you into your bed and you are resting. After all, I do remember telling you not to leave.”

  “Oh, come on, you can’t be serious. I had to leave. Shea needed my help.”

  He laughed, but in no way did it meet the seriousness in his eyes. “Come, Isabella. Are you trying to lie your way out of this?”

  She punched his shoulder. He didn’t even acknowledge it. “I’m trying to make you see reason.”

  “Your safety is my reason. I gave you an order, you disobeyed.”

  “That’s the thing with a Seraphim. You need to learn that not all is black and white.”

  “In our world, it is. Your help was not needed. Meredith and your sisters are handling everything.”

  “Would you have me do nothing? Pretend indifference when you brought Shea’s unconscious form home? Tell me, is that the right thing a Cherub should do?”

  He cut her a warning look. Izzy didn’t want to be controlled anymore. He kicked open her bedroom door, shut it, and locked it and then marched with her squirming form to the bed. “You want me to behave like a Cherub and I never will. Why should I? Is it going to get me back into heaven? I don’t think so. And, anyway, I will never leave them.”

  He gently placed her on her bed.

  “Did I ask you to leave them? No. I asked you to stay in bed, to stay in your sanctuary and heal. You agreed to my terms. Then you blatantly disobeyed me. I am trying to look out for you.”

  Izzy gulped. Her heart raced and a warm flush cascaded like a billowing cloud over her skin. The only other person who had looked out for her had been her Mother. She must be overly exhausted because Izzy felt the swell of tears fill her eyes.

  “Come, Isabella you are exhausted. I will have Meredith bring you up a hot drink. We can continue this talk tomorrow.”

  Izzy shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about us.”

  He sat next to her on her bed and gently touched her shoulders. “We can talk about whatever you want.”

  She looked at him. “Are we supposed to talk about the weather?”

  “If that would please you.”

  Izzy rolled her eyes. “Get real, Nathanael.”

  He brushed a curl off her shoulder. “I’m trying. I’m trying to be patient and I’d like to get to know you.”

  “Must we always fight?” he asked, his voice a husky whisper.

  Izzy captured his chin in her hand. “Fighting is in my nature. I will not ever be what you expect me to be. I cannot.”

  “Why?”

  This was the heart of his quest. Why had she dared to disobey Cherub law? Why had she sacrificed herself for her fellow sisters?

  “I cannot.” She would not confess her guilt that ate at her daily. He would not own what had happened to her mother. Only she bore that cross. “Let me go, Nathanael. I will never be good enough for you.” Izzy hated how much her voice cracked but his tenderness, when she sought war, was undoing her.

  “Never. You are mine. Or maybe you would rather a human?”

  “I want no one.”

  “You are saying, all these years on Earth, you didn’t think about giving yourself to a man?”

  She sucked in her breath, wondering for a second if Meredith had mentioned her role with Gareth. Quickly, she dismissed that. Meredith would never reveal what existed between Gareth because she knew how Izzy felt about him. But what Nathanael questioned was true. She had thought to give herself to Gareth to help him—not for love, passion, or anything else.

  Nathanael went completely still. He pushed her down on the bed and knelt over her, keeping her pinned underneath him.

  “Who? Who was it?”

  The hurt and anger Izzy saw fly across his normally controlled face shamed her.

  “It’s not like you think,” she said.

  “You do not want to know what I think, Isabella.” His voice, a measure of complete control made her gulp.

  Tears welled in the corners of her eyes and she hated herself. His lips moved to her face and he kissed each drop that dared to escape. “You think I don’t know what you were contemplating, but let me be clear. You, Isabella are mine. Only mine. From now on the only person with the right to touch you is me. Any others will meet with death. Am I clear?”

  Such vicious controlled words, said with tender passion while he kissed away the evidence of her weakness—her tears—made Izzy want to bury her head in her pillow and cry for hours. But that wouldn’t do.

  Izzy fought to regain a semblance of her dignity. “You are correct. I had thought it.”

  “And do you understand what I just said?”

  “Nathanael, I don’t want anyone.”

  He kissed her nose and rolled off her, but brought her body up close with his so they could snuggle. “But you have someone—me. I’m in your life, and don’t ever plan to leave it.”

  “I don’t wan
t a Cherub life.”

  “You misunderstand, and I think, on purpose. You, Isabella are my Cherub. We will be together, one way or another.”

  Izzy looked up at him. She raised herself up on her knees and leaned into him. Her hands cupped his face and she kissed him, startling him into silence. He tensed but then he gently kissed her back. As quick as the kiss happened, she ended things.

  Turning her back to him, she said, “You’re right. I’m tired. Leave me.”

  She heard his feet move and then the door shut, and for that, she said a prayer of thanks. What by the blessed scribes had come over her? Kissing Nathanael hadn’t been wise. She thought she’d hate it. She’d been wrong.

  * * *

  Nat knew he’d pushed Isabella but his gut twisted with the knowledge he was right. She had thought to give her body to another. When he found out who that person was, he was going to kill them. He couldn’t let that on to Izzy. She was suffering enough and taking too much upon her beautiful shoulders. A part of him wanted to throttle her for disobeying him, but her kissing him had made him speechless. He smiled as he walked down the stairs, realizing he liked her fierce independent streak. Maybe he’d do better to ask for her help instead of ordering her about. That’s how his father got things done when it came to Council decisions and Nat knew as stubborn as his father was he also worked for the greater good.

  Knowing how prevalent demons were in this realm was something his brethren needed to know. Nat had to make Izzy understand that she couldn’t place herself in harm’s way. He was not about to let her continue to fight demons. It was his role. She was endangering her life, and if he had to continually remind her that her death would leave her sisters alone to the sins of mankind, he would. Not playing fair when at war was a strategy he’d willingly use.