Almost a Winner
Page 8
“You mean group records?” I say with a gulp. I still hate group records.
He nods. “They’re so cool.”
“There are loads of other great records to break,” I say.
“Like what?” Lewis says.
Of course, I can’t think of any at that very second, and when we make it to our line, everyone circles around us.
“What’s in the bags?” Lonnie asks.
I open them so they can see what I’ve brought.
“That’s a lot of plastic bags,” Viva says. “What are you going to do with them all?”
I shrug. “I’m just happy I have something to share.”
Lonnie laughs. “Seriously, this day will go down in the history books. I might even make it a holiday.”
Viva claps and yells, “Speech! Speech!”
I’m not much of a speechmaker, so I just take a bow.
LONGEST DAY
The longest time anyone held his breath under water is 22 minutes. That’s long! I’m sorry to say that today feels longer, and I’ve only been at school for ten minutes.
I thought Ms. Raffeli would switch me back to my old seat when she saw how many recyclables I’d brought in. But when I ask her, she says, “Teddy, you’re doing very well where you are.”
I say, “So I’m staying where I am?”
She nods.
“For the rest of the year?”
She nods.
“But I can be on Lonnie and Viva’s invention team, right?”
She shakes her head no and says, “I want you inventing with the group you sit with.”
I open my mouth to complain, but her eyebrows fly up. And just like I know that the world record for smelling the most feet (5,600) must be the stinkiest way to break a record, I also know that there’s no use in arguing with my teacher. Neither Ms. Raffeli nor her eyebrows are budging.
MY TO-DO LIST #9
1. Invent a way to keep The Destructor far from me.
2. Invent a way to keep The Destructor out of the aviary.
3. Break a world record with Lonnie and Viva.
4. Get my old desk back.
5. Come up with an invention.
6. Muddle through school for the rest of the year.
AS BIG AS THAT
I look around the room and at the clusters of desks, which are now our four invention teams.
Team #1: Philip, Nick, Bekka, and Alanis
Team #2: Angus, Jasmine B., Jasmine H., and Chrystal
Team #3: Lonnie, Viva, and Max
Team #4: Lewis, Ny, Cornelio, Serena, and me
As I think about these teams, it suddenly dawns on me that we’re not only competing against the other fourth-grade classes, but we’re competing against each other. Which means some of us will win, but others will lose.
I’ve never really thought about winning before. Breaking a record was always just something I wanted to do. But now that I’ve come up with an invention of my own, winning the inventors’ fair seems kind of cool. Except me winning means beating my two best friends. And maybe they should win, since they haven’t broken a record, yet.
And then Ms. Raffeli says, “Serena, I want you to move your desk to sit with Lonnie, Viva, and Max. That will make the numbers more even.”
I can’t believe it. I should be the one with working with Lonnie and Viva. It’s just so wrong. How can Ms. Raffeli do this to me? When I look over at them, they’re giving Serena high fives.
Strange but true, the record for the largest desert in the world is the Sahara. At this very moment, I feel like the space between them and me is that big, but they don’t seem to notice.
DRAWING YODA
We’ve begun sharing our inventions with our teams. Since I only have the one idea for the head holder, I’m done pretty quickly.
Lewis shakes his head. “So, you can break a record, but you can only come up with one invention?” He looks a little worried, and soon I understand why. It’s because every one of them has thought up at least five ideas each. Ms. Raffeli says we have to get our list down to one invention per person, and then out of those she’ll decide on the invention we’ll make.
All their ideas are fabulous, and it’s hard to pick just one. For a little while, making decisions is fun. What’s better, a bubble suit that lets you bang into walls and not get hurt, or an umbrella that you don’t need your hands to hold? Or a swimsuit that inflates into a life raft?
And those are just Ny’s ideas.
Lewis begins sharing his. The first one is pretty interesting. He calls it a Doggy-Doo Collector. It’s a thingamajig you attach to your dog that catches its poo in a plastic bag, so all you have to do is tie up the bag. I love this idea, but I admit, after this one I stop paying attention. Maybe it’s because I look over at Lonnie, Viva, Max, and now Serena. They were the first to hand in their list to Ms. Raffeli and are now allowed to do free drawing until lunch.
I pretend I need to sharpen my pencil and as I walk past Lonnie I tap him on the shoulder. But he’s too wrapped up in his drawing of Yoda to look up. I want to ask him what his invention idea is. Viva doesn’t look up either. She’s drawing Yoda, too. Actually now that I look more carefully I realize that they are all drawing Yoda. Even Max and Serena. Finally Lonnie sees me. “We’re having a Yoda-off to see who can draw the best Yoda.”
I nod and slip back into my new desk, wishing I was drawing Yoda, too.
MY TO-DO LIST #10
Lunch is a repeat of yesterday. Lonnie, Viva, and I are surrounded and have no time by ourselves. Lonnie and Viva are talking to Max about world records. “If I were to break a record I’d do a collection,” Max says. “I already have twenty-five different kinds of rubber bands.”
“Rubber bands?” Lonnie asks.
Viva says, “How different can rubber bands be?”
Max says, “Oh, really different! There are variations in color, size, and where they’re made.”
“I still like those group records,” Lewis says. “Did you know there’s a record for most people playing the game paper, rock, scissors at the same time?”
Jasmine B. says, “I love that game.”
Jasmine H. says, “Me too.”
“How do you play it?” Ny asks.
Lewis starts to show her, and pretty soon everyone at the table is playing. Even Lonnie and Viva.
Lunch is starting to feel like my home: too loud, too crowded.
I take out my list and revise it, again.
1. Invent a way to keep The Destructor far from me.
2. Invent a way to keep The Destructor out of the aviary.
3. Break a world record with Lonnie and Viva.
4. Get my old desk back.
5. Come up with an invention.
6. Muddle through school for the rest of the year.
7. Have three seconds alone with Lonnie and Viva.
AT LONG LAST
Usually Lonnie, Viva, and I hang out by the swings. We always have a lot to talk about: Star Wars, pigeons, The Guinness Book of World Records. But today right after lunch Lewis drags them away to play tag. I don’t know how he does it, but every recess Lewis organizes just about every fourth grader into some kind of game—every fourth grader except Lonnie, Viva, and me. Except today, when they join the game right away.
“Come on, Tent Boy,” Lewis shouts. “You have to play too!” At first I’m not sure. It feels a little close to a group record, but I don’t have anything else to do since Lonnie and Viva are dashing around. So I join the game.
Lewis runs up and says, “We should totally break a record for the most people playing tag.”
Luckily, I’m panting too much to answer, but it makes me worried that he’s really going to try a group record and I’ll be forced to do it with him.
I pause to catch my breath and Ny runs up and tags me. “You’re it!” she shouts, so I start chasing. It’s actually fun and quite nice to think about something else besides how I’m not sitting with Lonnie and Viva.
So at long last, time finally goes faster than it has all day, and the only bummer is that recess is only twenty minutes long.
REMARKABLE
Back in the classroom, everyone is pretty wiggly, and of course, Angus is hoppy. Ms. Raffeli claps her hands and we quiet down so she can tell us what inventions we’ll be making.
“Team number one,” she says. “Philip, Nick, Bekka, and Alanis will make the Go Kid Go Wagon. A new way to get around powered by a crank.” Ms. Raffeli looks up at their group and nods. “Transportation is always a popular theme in the inventors’ fair.”
We give them a round of applause.
“Team number two is Angus, Jasmine B., Jasmine H., and Chrystal. They will invent a musical baby blanket.”
Angus smiles and says, “And it’s all thanks to my new baby brother, who only sleeps when there’s music playing!”
Ms. Raffeli explains that anything to do with babies wins over the kids in the school.
“And now.” Ms. Raffeli smiles. “Team number three, Lonnie, Viva, Max, and Serena, will make a battery-operated trash compactor. We all want our trash to take up less space, and green inventions are very in.”
We clap for them. Lonnie stands up and takes a bow.
“And, last but not least, team number four, Lewis, Ny, Cornelio, and Teddy.”
Finally, it’s our invention. I cross my fingers. I really hope she picks my head holder.
Ms. Raffeli says, “You’ll be inventing—”
I hold my breath.
“The Doggy-Doo Collector!”
I admit, I’m very surprised, because doggy doo is not the sort of thing Ms. Raffeli is usually interested in. But she says that any invention that has to do with animals is always a hit!
Then I wonder, Would I rather work on the Doggy-Doo Collector or the battery-operated trash compacter? And I get the biggest surprise of all! I realize that I’d pick the Doggy-Doo Collector any day, even if it means not working with Lonnie and Viva.
This is remarkably surprising to me and makes me feel like a traitor.
PSSST! PSSST!
Ms. Raffeli has asked all the groups to draw up a detailed sketch of the invention we’re making. She walks around the room helping teams. Angus is singing at the top of his voice to his team. “Rock-a-by baaaby in the treeeeetop!” Listening to Angus sing makes me realize how good Sharon actually is.
“Angus,” Ms. Raffeli says, “let’s wait on picking the song and start with what you’ll need to make it.”
Our group is drawing out Lewis’s idea. Cornelio draws a stick dog, and Lewis says, “So we want some contraption that will hold a bag under the dog and catch its poo.”
I look over at all the plastic bags I brought in. “We’ve got a lot of those.”
Lewis keeps talking about how to attach the bag to the dog. I hear everything he’s saying, but only halfway, because I’m staring at all the plastic bags I brought in.
It’s as if it’s the first time I’ve actually seen them, and now plastic bags are taking over my brain. Suddenly, I get all tingly and zippy thinking about those plastic bags and how Viva won’t get sick or be hurt by them!
It takes all my willpower not to tell Lonnie and Viva my idea. I have to wait until the end of the day. I don’t want anyone to get in trouble because of me.
But every time I think about my idea, my heart gets all poundy, and my skin gets squirmy, which makes no sense at all except that it’s how I feel.
I keep looking at the clock, which is still going super slowly today. We have an hour left of school.
“Psst, psst, psst!”
I look over at Viva, who is the one making the psst noises.
Lonnie waves me over.
I check to make sure the coast is clear. Ms. Raffeli is with Ny’s group, so I sneak to Lonnie and Viva’s.
“We’ve come up with a record to break,” Lonnie whispers.
“No way,” I say. “So did I.”
“You’re not supposed to be talking,” Serena says.
“If you don’t interrupt we’ll be done in a second,” Viva says. “Teddy, you go first.”
“No,” I say. “You go first.”
Lonnie pauses and looks around to be sure Ms. Raffeli is still busy. Then he says, “The largest collection of plastic bags.”
I could fall over right there and then, because that is exactly the same thing I was going to say.
“That was my idea, too!”
Max says, “I think my collection of rubber bands was an inspiration.”
“Teddy?” Ms. Raffeli is looking straight at me. “Get back to your group.”
Lonnie and Viva give a thumbs-up as I walk away.
Things are definitely looking up. And even though Ms. Raffeli sounded mad, I’ve still got the exciting feeling zipping through my body.
PSSST! PSSST! PART 2
I sit down because I’m supposed to, but I’d actually like to be hopping around like Angus is doing right now. I look over at the picture Cornelio has drawn, and it looks really good—not at all like a stick dog anymore. We’ll have things to figure out, but it’s stuff we can do. I have to admit, between breaking a record and this inventors’ fair, life couldn’t get any better!
Lewis leans over and says, “I’ve been thinking about a record to break.”
“Really?” I say. I’m sure he’s going to suggest a group record. This time I’ll have to be honest and explain my feeling about group records.
“I’m dying to break a record,” Ny says.
Lewis says, “I’ve got a genius idea. You’re going to love it. And no one has thought of it yet.”
Cornelio says, “Spit it out.”
Lewis says, “We could totally break the record for the largest collection of plastic bags.”
This time I do fall over. It’s just too weird.
“Teddy!” Ms. Raffeli snaps. “Sit in your chair!”
I do what she says, and I don’t say a thing, because even though I still can’t believe I feel this way, I really don’t want to move my seat again.
IT’S NOT A COMPETITION
As we walk out of school that day I’m curious how everyone will feel as I explain how we all came up with the same idea about breaking a record.
Lonnie, Viva, and Lewis all freeze on the spot.
“What are we going to do?” Lewis says. “We can’t all break the same record.”
“I thought you loved group records,” I say.
“But this isn’t a group record. This is the most-plastic-bags-collected record.”
“We thought of it first,” Viva says.
“You can’t prove that,” Lewis says.
“We’ve been trying to break a record for longer,” Viva says.
Lewis says, “Why does that matter?”
I guess this answers how they feel. They don’t like it.
“Stop,” Lonnie says, and he smiles. “It’s not a competition. We can all do it together.”
“But,” I ask, “will that make it a group record?”
Lonnie rolls his eyes. “No, Teddy,” he says. “We’re going for most bags collected, not the most people to collect bags.”
“Right,” I say. “I knew that.”
“If Lonnie says we should do it together, I’ll do it together,” Viva agrees.
“That’s what I was going to say,” Lewis says.
Viva looks at Lewis. “You have got to stop saying that.” And then she laughs and says, “Just kidding.” And then everyone laughs, including Lewis.
And I have to admit, this is the first time in my life I’ve ever actually been on a team, and suddenly I’m on two. So far it’s very cool.
THE BIG RED CIRCLE
Viva whips out a calendar from her backpack. “My mom makes me carry one so I know what’s going on.”
She scans the calendar and then points. “The inventors’ fair is on a Friday. How about we break the record the next day?”
We circle around her and look.
Lonni
e says, “That gives us about a month.”
“That’s what I was going to say,” Lewis says.
Viva stops and stares at him.
“What did I do?” Lewis says.
Viva sighs, pulls out a red marker, and draws a big red circle around that Saturday. “This is going to be awesome!”
“Nothing will stop us!” Lonnie says.
Lewis raises his hand and we do a whole group high five.
Then Ny, Serena, and Max run onto their bus before it takes off.
I grab Viva’s calendar and look at the big red circle.
I’ve only been part of this team for about a minute, but for the second time in that minute, I’m amazed by how cool it is.
HOME IS GETTING CRAZIER
I thought school days were crazy, but this weekend just broke that record. Mom and Dad are drawing up a chart to compare the jobs they do around the house.
Sharon is not answering Jerome’s phone calls because he got a bigger part in the musical than she did. (I know this because the house phone keeps ringing and ringing.)
Caitlin and Casey are fighting over who collects the most trash. Caitlin is in the lead. (At least from the scales’ point of view.)
Maggie is freaking out that she lost another race to Bella Colon, even if it was only by one fifth of a second. (I don’t even know what a one fifth of a second is.)
Grace tried to stomp on my foot, but I picked it up before she could. (Unfortunately, she stomped on the other one.)
The Destructor is in the aviary holding Admiral Ackbar and listening to more stories about how Grumpy Pigeon Man got his pigeons.
My family has never been normal. But this seems overboard even for them.
IT’S TIME
As I get up Monday morning, The Destructor jumps out of bed. I race to get my clothes on first while The Destructor struggles with his Pigeon Boy costume. I don’t wait around but run down the stairs and out to the aviary.
I hear his feet behind me as I grab the bucket to fill with water.
He runs up to me, panting. “You sure are fast,” he says. “I don’t know how you’re so fast. Can I help with that bucket?”