Union of Sin

by Eden Summers

  Travis cleared his throat from the other side of the bar. “Ladies.”

  Cassie grinned, ignoring the warning in Travis’s tone. “What about Leo? Will he—”

  “Ladies,” Travis growled. “You’ve got company.”

  Cassie pulled back, her hand still in Shay’s hair as she met T.J.’s gaze from the other side of the main room. Oh, God. The nausea was instantaneous, pulsing up her throat as she slid off the stool.

  “I’m sorry.” She mouthed the words to him because she couldn’t find her voice. His expression was unreadable, far less undecipherable than the impressed smirk from Leo and Brute at his sides.

  “I’ve gotta go.” She turned to Shay, being punished all over again from the understanding in her friend’s features. “I’ll speak to you later.” On a phone she didn’t have because it was sitting in a Vault locker.

  She didn’t know how she was going to pay a cab driver without her purse either. But she’d find a way. What she couldn’t see herself through was a discussion with T.J. about why she’d come here tonight when they both knew it would hurt him. She couldn’t bear for him to think this was retaliation.

  With her head down, she strode for the end of the bar, then around the side to the darkened stairwell leading to the parking lot. The club had quieted, the drama she always seemed to bring with her setting in yet again.

  All she could hear were footsteps—her own, soft footfalls of patrons and heavy thumping right behind her that could be her thunderous heartbeat echoing in her ears.

  “Hey.” A strong arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her back into a chiseled chest. “Don’t run.”

  She squeezed her eyes shut and shrank into T.J.’s hold, ashamed and so damn sorry that she’d tainted the one place he’d wanted to remain his own. “Please forgive me. I had no intention of being with anyone tonight.” Her voice was breaking. “We thought the Vault would be quieter than a dance club in the city. And—”

  “We?”

  There was no way she was going to blame Shay. Although coerced, Cassie had always had a choice. “Yes.”

  He gave a halfhearted chuckle, his warm breath brushing over her ear. “You and Shay have become close.”

  “I’m not going to blame her, if that’s what you mean.”

  “No.” He gripped her shoulder and turned her to face him. “That’s definitely not what I meant. I expected to find you down here with a man, not a woman. Least of all Shay.”

  “I wouldn’t do that to you, no matter what has happened between us.” She frowned up at him, trying to understand what his words and the sad smile on his face meant. “I’d never be with another man in your club, and definitely not the night before our divorce.”

  He nodded, the movement slow and dreary. “I hoped as much.”

  Damn him. She didn’t want to hear this. “I need to go.” She pushed at his chest, feeling a wave of grief as he willingly let her walk away. “Again, I’m sorry.”

  “Cassie, wait.”

  Her feet planted of their own accord as she stared at the top of the staircase, wishing she was closer to freedom.

  “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

  There was nothing left. Tomorrow their marriage would be over. She’d agreed to all his conditions. The paperwork to hand over her share of the business was prepared and ready to be signed. She’d spent weeks coming to terms with the dissolution of what they’d once had, and she was trying her best to finally embrace independence.

  “I know I’ve dragged you to hell and back.” His voice was gravel-rich. Filled with turmoil. “But I wanted to know if you’d forgive me if I changed my mind.”

  She frowned at the faint light coming in through the door at the staircase. “Changed your mind?”

  “About the divorce.”

  The light faded. Everything in her body shut down. Her heart stopped, her knees threatened to buckle, her lungs wouldn’t fill with air.

  “I’ve made many mistakes, but I can’t live without you.”

  The words were drifting through her ears, not penetrating. She was still stuck on those four words—I changed my mind.

  “I want to make this right—” his soft footsteps approached and the heat of his chest settled into her back, “—I know you probably can’t forgive me. All I’m asking is that you’ll try.”

  Her chest tightened with the lack of oxygen, her face began to heat.

  “I’m not a perfect man, Cass. I no longer believe I’m even a good man. I dragged you into a lifestyle you never should’ve been a part of. But I still hope you’ll give me another chance to make it up to you. To set things right and get our marriage on track.”

  He pressed his lips to the back of her head, and she squeezed her eyes shut to stop tears from forming.

  “Nothing has changed.” Her words dripped with defiance. “Unless your guilt has suddenly disappeared, which I doubt. So nothing between us is different. Your excuse for breaking my heart is still there.”

  He held her tighter. “I’m different.”

  “This isn’t fair,” she whispered. “I’m not going to live with the thought of you leaving hanging over my head.”

  He couldn’t dictate their future based on a whim. A whim was what had gotten them here in the first place—the thoughtless decision to go to an unknown sex club had started this chain reaction.

  She turned to him, meeting the darkness of his stare in the shadowed hallway. “Am I meant to take you back and forget you kept things from me? That none of this would’ve happened if only you’d opened up to me?”

  “I wanted to spare you the pain. But you know the truth now and I can’t stand the thought of you dealing with it alone.” He straightened, dropping his hands from her waist. “But, no, you don’t have to take me back at all. I just want you to know I made a mistake. I made many. And if given the chance, I’ll make it up to you.”

  “How?” She wasn’t sure it was possible. The pain he’d put her through was beyond words. “I love you, T.J., but I can’t come back to you when you click your fingers. I can’t dust my hands of everything you’ve done in the past twelve months and pretend it never happened. Our problems started long before those secrets drove you from our house.”

  Nobody could deny her commitment to him. But at some point, she had to remember the commitment she had to herself. To self-preservation. He had to give her more.

  “I don’t blame you.” He nodded and stepped back. “And I understand what you’re trying to say.”

  “No, you don’t.” She bridged the space between them in two steps. “There were times when I thought I was going to die from the torment of losing you. Not just when you served me the divorce papers. It all started the night of the assault.”

  She scrutinized him, hoping for once he would understand what agony really meant. “If anyone had the right to walk away, it was me. You were hurting me because you couldn’t handle your own pain. You punished me—”

  “I know.”

  “—because you couldn’t…” She frowned at him. “Wait…did you just agree with me?”

  “Yes.” He swallowed deep. “I was punishing you because I couldn’t handle what happened that night. I thought it was guilt. But it was so much more. There was fear and failure. I’d always tried to do everything right by you, and in the blink of an eye, I ruined it all. It scared the hell out of me, Cass. It still does. And I’ll never forgive myself.”

  “If you can’t forgive yourself, how am I meant to?” She pressed closer, unwilling to let him off so easily, yet unable to stay away. They both knew where this was heading. It could only ever end in her heartfelt acquiescence. He had to earn it though.

  “Your heart is much bigger than mine. You’ll forgive me before I forgive myself.” He cupped her cheek and caressed her skin with his thumb.

  “Then my next question i
s how can I trust you to not react the same way if I make another bad judgment call in the future?” She raised her chin, their mouths so close she could feel their breath mingling over her lips.

  “I’m going to make mistakes, T.J. I want to make mistakes. But you need to trust that I’ve weighed the risks and come to the conclusion on my own. This garbage about you dragging me into a lifestyle I was never meant to be a part of is insulting. I want to be here. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have come tonight.” She swallowed over the dryness in her throat. “Yes, I’ll be smarter in the future, but I can’t live with the fear of you leaving me again. I don’t care if it’s for my own good. I need to know you’ll talk to me.”

  “I promise to try.”

  “Not good enough.” She retreated a step.

  He reached out his arm and dragged her back into his chest. “I’ll do everything in my power to love you more than life itself.”

  “I’ve always had your love. What I want now is your trust. Have faith that I can take responsibility for my own mistakes, and be confident I can deal with the consequences.”

  He pressed his lips together, fighting the emotion taking over his face. “I promise.”

  “Really?”

  “Cassie, I’m trying my hardest. I always will. But I’m not going to lie to you. Until something happens, I can only prepare myself to act better in the future.”

  She quirked a brow at him and wiggled from his arms. “Well, why don’t I make something happen?”

  Chapter Twenty

  T.J. watched Cassie saunter from the darkened hall and didn’t let her walk out of view. He followed after her, his pulse increasing the more adamant her steps became.

  “Are you okay?” Shay straightened from her position against the back of the sofa closest to the bar and didn’t flinch when Cassie continued toward her, sliding against the other woman’s body before brushing their lips together.

  “Fuck me drunk.” Leo’s words rang heavy in the room. “What the hell did you say to her?”

  T.J. ignored the question, too transfixed with the sight before him. Cassie glided her hand into Shay’s hair, the long strands of dark silk brushing through his wife’s delicate fingers. They were mesmerizing. Captivating. The two of them making out as if they were long-lost lovers, not women who were sharing their first kiss. At least he thought it was their first.

  “Have they done this before?” T.J. slumped onto the stool next to Leo and pounded the bar. “Bourbon. Straight. Now.”

  “Make that two,” Leo muttered. “And I fucking hope not. The way those two look together, I’m starting to think Shay might leave me for a better offer.”

  She wouldn’t get the chance. T.J. grasped the glass Travis slid in to his hand and threw the liquid back in one gulp. Cassie had made her point. In her mind, she was testing boundaries and taking a chance. And no matter how inviting her so-called risk currently was, he’d had his fill for the night.

  He needed her. To claim what he’d been missing for too damn long.

  He slammed his glass down on the bar, giving his wife a warning before he strode for her. “That’s enough, ladies.” He moved in behind Cassie, slid an arm around her waist and flung her around to stand before him. “What was that all about?”

  Her chest was rising and falling, her gorgeous lips kiss-stained. “I’m not going to return to a marriage where I’ll be scared to take chances.”

  “That wasn’t really taking a chance, my love.” He prowled toward her, his dick pulsing at the way her pupils dilated.

  She backtracked, bumped into the sofa and straightened as she kept distance between them, fleeing toward the back of the main room. “How was I to know she was going to kiss me back? She could’ve just as easily slapped me or pushed me away.”

  “Really?” He quirked a brow. “From what I witnessed earlier, it seemed more like you were finishing what you’d already started.”

  Her lips rose at the edges, and she snaked her tempting tongue out to moisten her lips. “Well, okay, maybe it wasn’t much of a risk…” She beamed at him. “Baby steps, right?”

  A growl formed in his chest, the warmest, richest sound he’d ever made without conscious thought. Behind him was loneliness and safety. Before him stood pain and pleasure. The sweetest mix of everything volatile and risky.

  He’d obsessed over Cassie’s protection and happiness—past, present and future. It was the way he measured his worth in the world. If this gorgeous woman was smiling due to his words, his touch, his love, he was a satisfied man. But he had to sever that addiction. He had to step back and let her find her own happiness. Make her secure her own safety.

  “Does this mean you forgive me?” He was so close, yet so far. He could reach out a hand and touch her, to brush her smooth skin, to drag her against his body, only her smile faltered, piercing him in the chest with sorrow.

  “You need to do more than growl at me to earn my forgiveness.” Her grin returned, washing away the hurt and replacing it with hope.

  “Make a list. Whatever you want is yours.” He’d make it up to her somehow. With every day for the rest of their lives.

  He continued for her, her retreating steps approaching the back wall. “How come you’re running from me?”

  “I have no clue.” Her words were whispers. “You’d think I wouldn’t be nervous after all the chasing I did to try and get you back.”

  “Nervous?” He stopped, unable to move another inch. “Well, why don’t I start things off myself you can come to me when you’re ready?” He didn’t want her apprehension. He needed excitement, love, passion and hope for their future. Baby steps.

  She frowned, cocking her head in the cutest confused expression as he strode to the king-sized bed in the corner. He slid onto the mattress, resting his back against the headboard and crossed his feet at the ankles.

  On the outside, he was relaxed. Calm. Inside was a different story. The pulse of his heart was heavy, a pounding ache in his chest. His hands were shaking, sweat slicking his palms, but his cock was the worst offender. He was hard as granite, the length of his shaft pressing against his zipper with incessant force.

  Cassie sauntered forward, her steps measured and slow. Her gaze raked his body, focusing on the bulge at his crotch, then rising to his face.

  He cleared his throat and wiggled his shoulders, settling into his position. “I haven’t had a chance to ask you what you think of the club.”

  “It’s more than I ever imagined.” She glanced over her shoulder, taking in the room. “The bar, the rooms, the furnishings—it all fits together perfectly.”

  “We try and keep security to a maximum. Not only on function nights, but during the vetting process.”

  “I know.” A smirk curved her lips and she broke their stare to focus on the bedsheet.

  She was breathtaking. Her hair loose, her curves tightly caressed by the dress she wore. He wanted her legs wrapped around him, her high-heel-covered feet crossed around his back.

  “Of course you do.” He placed his hands behind his head, the picture of leisure. “You experienced the entry process for the masquerade party.”

  She nodded, still looking down at the sheet.

  “Do you have any idea what the memories of that night do to me?” They were vivid. A crystal-clear recollection continuously playing in the back of his mind.

  “I’d take a guess that the effect isn’t nice,” she murmured. “From the anger you showed toward me when I told you, I can only assume you’re still horrified.”

  Far from it. “At first, yes. It was brutal. But when I got home and went over those moments with fresh eyes, knowing it was you instead of a stranger, it was the most erotic memory I’d ever had.” He stared at her, mentally begging her to look at him. “You seducing me. Here. In front of all those people. I’ve been haunted by an insistent hard-on that can’t be assuaged.”
>
  Her head shot up, the tops of her cheeks turning a light shade of pink as their gazes collided. “You’re not mad anymore?”

  Only at himself. He’d still cheated on his wife, and that was unforgivable. “Mad?” He chuckled. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve had to jerk off to gain some semblance of relief?” His cock had been punishing him ever since. “I still remember your voice and the familiar way you said hi at the bar.”

  “I hadn’t thought to school my tone.” The nervousness in her features began to settle, the apprehension in her eyes softening with comfort. “Well, I had, but I was too flustered to remember. I even forgot to take off my wedding rings until Zoe asked me about them in the change rooms.”

  “I can’t believe you had me fooled.” Although, in hindsight, his eyes were the only things that had been misled. The rest of his senses had known—touch, taste, sound. Even her presence was familiar. The way he’d closed his eyes and pictured Cassie instead of the dark-haired, dark-eyed beauty. “But it was when you asked if I wanted to watch you that lust mixed with confusion. I didn’t stand a chance.”

  She nestled on the foot of the bed, the dress slipping higher up her thigh.

  “I guess I should return the favor,” he murmured.

  Her eyes widened, her brow furrowing in the sexiest way. “What do you mean?”

  He grinned, breathing in her nervousness. Consuming it. “It’s your turn to watch.”

  Cassie swallowed and glanced over her shoulder, thankful that the few remaining people in the room weren’t paying them attention.

  “W-what do you mean?” She turned back to T.J., receiving her answer from the quirk in his lips.

  He removed one hand from behind his head and lowered it to his waistband. “Watch,” he reiterated, releasing the button on his pants and then lowering his zipper with torturing lethargy. “You scooted back onto that bed like a fucking dream.”

  He hitched his ass off the mattress and lowered the material to the tops of his thighs, still with one lazy hand behind his head. The hardness of his cock was clearly visible through the thin material of his boxer briefs. She could see every inch, could almost feel the remembered sensation of his shaft in her palm.