Honest Love

by Cm Hutton

  I sighed but didn’t say anything.

  “I knew you would be good for him. He needs someone who won’t put up with his shit, Claire.”

  How could I say no to that? I sighed, bowed my head and said, “Okay, just please talk to him. Let him know I won’t set his progress back. I just want to help.”

  “I will. He’ll see how incredible you are.” Melissa’s smile was infectious.

  “Yeah, well we’ll all see, won’t we?” Melissa laughed and I started to leave, but turned and said, “I know I’m all girly and may not understand the passion of football, but ‘broken hearted.’ Really? It’s just football. Was it the money?” I couldn’t hide my sarcasm. I just didn’t care much for the cocky, macho crap that I’d seen from many of the athletes I’d helped over the years.

  Melissa’s face turned serious. “No, it wasn’t the fame, game or money. It was a girl… The Girl according to Derek. He met Abbi his sophomore year at San Diego State and fell hard. They had just gotten engaged about a month before he was drafted, but postponed the wedding so she could finish her degree.”

  I listened intently to the story as Melissa continued. “They’d been married I guess almost 6 years when he was injured. She left him a few months later.”

  “What happened?”

  “She loved the fame and fortune. She’d had a really good taste of it during that time and didn’t want to give up the life. So, she left him. Said she never wanted to be married to ‘a nobody.’ He’s sure that had he never played, never gotten injured and never exposed her to that lifestyle, they would still be together. So, every time that damn knee of his fails him, it’s a bitter, vivid reminder of what he’s lost.”

  “Wow.” I didn’t know what else to say.

  “Yeah, so cut him a little slack. Yes, he’s a major asshole. But…”

  “But what?”

  “He’s my brother. So, he might shoot his stupid mouth off a little too carelessly around here.”

  “Your brother?” I was sure my eyebrows shot up to my hairline.

  “Yes, but no one knows. He and I prefer it that way. He gets a lot of recognition around town. Just about everyone from San Diego is familiar with his story. He’s like a local hero. You know, this incredible football player, never partied or got into trouble and could’ve lived off his earnings for the rest of his life while whoring around after his breakup. But instead, he worked his ass off to become, of all things…a firefighter, civil servant in the city that loved him so much” Melissa threw her hands up in some grand gesture, teasing about her saint of a brother, all the while grinning and rolling her eyes, making me laugh.

  “Wow. He’s your brother. I think that part shocks me most of all.” We both let out a loud cackle.

  “Right! He’s a good man. He just can’t seem to recover, I guess. I know he’s dated a few girls, but from what he’s told me, they wanted the notoriety of being with ‘DEREK LONDON’ and ended up just adding more salt to his wounds.” She paused. “I don’t want him to know I told you his story. He’s prideful…like you.” She winked.

  “Yeah, I kind of got that impression. I thought it was more of an arrogance, but now that I think about it, it was just a wall. I know all about putting up walls. I’m a fucking expert.” I let out a small laugh. “Thank you for telling me.”

  “I was going to tell you earlier, but didn’t want Allison to overhear. She doesn’t know the story. And I was half hoping he’d behave himself and not be an ass.”

  I grinned. “Well, I do have to say that I’m kind of impressed that he didn’t pull out the ‘sister’ card on me when he demanded to talk to you.”

  “Me, too. Although, he usually wouldn’t do that. I’ve always given him a ‘heads up’ if he had to see another of my therapists. I didn’t get a chance to tell him this morning. I’m surprised he hasn’t blown up my phone and tried to throw his weight around.”

  “So, let’s talk a little more about his injury and what you’ve done in the past to help. I’d like to try a few new things, if he’s willing.”

  “Great! Also, just so you know, his ‘ex’ does show up every now and then. So, if he comes in and seems a bit off…well, more than usual…just know she screws with his head every now and then.”

  “Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

  We chatted for another half hour before I made my way to my car and home to my luxurious bathtub.

  Chapter 4

  Derek

  I was an ass. And I was pissed. Melissa knew how I felt about being pawned off on another therapist. She could’ve at least called to tell me. I’d pretty much been a social recluse for the last few years. I was sure she did shit like that to push me into other people’s lives and force me to be human again. It usually backfired, but my sister didn’t care. She kept doing it and now I had this new woman to deal with.

  Claire seemed nice. Actually she seemed like she probably wouldn’t take any crap from me. And I don’t think she knew who I was…always a good thing. She was good at her job. I had a feeling I’d be back on the truck soon. My life as a firefighter was about all I had to keep my mind occupied. Football used to do that for me. Nothing but tainted memories now.

  I shook my head, brushing off my thoughts and focused more on my new therapist. I was totally confused by the whole martyr thing which made me all the more curious about Claire. Too bad my pissy mood made my questions come out way too harsh and nasty. I’d have to ask Mel some questions, really dig around to see what I was going to be dealing with if she was turning my treatment over to Claire. I just hoped I could stop staring at her. She was shorter than me — maybe 5’5” with beautiful blond hair that reached just below her shoulder blades and amazing brown eyes. Not who I would typically pay attention to, but what the hell did I know? The only girl I’d ever loved was Claire’s complete opposite. Abbi had long, dark brown hair, blue eyes and was really tall. She’d also ripped my heart out and practically ate the fucking thing right in front of me.

  Whatever.

  Melissa was going to hear it from me as soon as I got home from the fire station. She was damn lucky I was on tonight at the fire station. Hell, come to think of it, maybe Claire was just what I needed. But first, I had to know more about her past and what lead her to San Diego.

  Chapter 5

  Claire

  I was mentally exhausted and fell asleep almost before my head hit the pillow. I didn’t hear from Jake or the kids, which I think was a blessing. I overslept the next morning and had to hustle like hell to make it to work before my first client…who happened to be Derek. I wasn’t sure I was up for his arrogant attitude. Stepping through the doorway, I saw him sitting in the waiting room. Allison gave me a smirk and I shook my head letting her know I wasn’t in the mood. I grabbed his chart and ran back to the door that lead to the waiting room. “Ready? Come on back.”

  Derek stood slowly and I had to take a deep breath. He was dressed in tan cargo shorts, a black v-neck tee-shirt, baseball cap and leather flip-flops. He had his left knee still in its brace. I forced myself to look at his face. He looked—defeated. Following me through the door, I decided I needed to be the one to change my attitude so we could work together. I really did want to help him, especially knowing he was Melissa’s family.

  “How are you feeling today? Any specific things we need to work on? Pain in any particular area?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Like?” I raised my eyebrows waiting for him to elaborate.

  We stepped into my patient room and Derek turned to face me as he gingerly sat on the massage table. “I might have hurt it more last night.” His face was so cute. He winced as if he was embarrassed about something he’d done…like a little boy ready to be chastised for doing something stupid. He was trying and I appreciated his effort.

  I smiled and raised my brows, “Oh, really? And what exactly were you doing?”

  He let out a gruff laugh. “I don’t think you want to know that.”

  My face fell and
turn hot with a full on blush. “Yeah, maybe not.” Shit! I turned my body away from him. I certainly didn’t want or need to know. The fact that I had that reaction, was humiliating enough.

  “No! Not that!” He laughed and I turned back to see him smiling. “You totally just turned about three shades of red. Damn! I was just working at the fire station.” His tone was playful.

  I relaxed a bit and said, “Sorry. I just…” Fuck! I didn’t even know what to say…so I laughed and swatted his arm. “Shit! Okay. You’ve had your fun making me feel horrible. Let’s get started. Let me see your knee.”

  I carefully helped him remove the brace, then shook my head at what I saw. “What in the hell…” slipped out before I could catch myself.

  Derek groaned. “Don’t hold back.”

  “Sorry, it’s just that this thing is so swollen. Tell me.” I raised my ‘mom’ brows and waited for an explanation.

  “It was stupid. I was working at the station, nothing too physical. I was actually cooking for the guys, but we got bored after dinner and…”

  “And…?”

  “We started playing a little basketball.”

  “Derek…”

  “Hey, I’ve heard it all before, okay? I know it was dumb, especially since I was already hurt. I wasn’t going to do anything more that shoot, but I got a little too cocky and now, this…”

  “Yeah, this. Well, no more lectures. Let’s just get to work.” I iced his knee for the first thirty minutes while we chatted about minor things. I wondered if Melissa had told him to take it easy on me.

  “So Claire, where are you from? You have a pretty thick southern accent.”

  “Texas.”

  “Huh…”

  “What?”

  “You just sounded more, I don’t know…southern than that.”

  “I get that a lot. Now, let’s put you on the CPM moving slowly for the next fifteen minutes and we can be done for today. I want you on crutches until this swelling is gone.” The CPM was a Continuing Passive Motion machine that moved the knee for you in slow motion. I was sure that it was going to be painful for Derek, considering the amount of swelling, but he needed it to keep the blood flowing and to prevent any more stiffness in his knee. Derek let out a huff that I ignored. He knew what to expect.

  “Do you want to schedule therapy for tomorrow? I can fit you in the whole week if you want.”

  “Ahh, so you want to spend the week with me?” I froze, my face falling again. He saw my reaction and quickly spoke, putting his hand on my forearm. “I’m just teasing you. Sorry.”

  I took a deep breath and tried like hell to play it off. “I figured you’d want to get as much time in here as possible. I can try to fit you in each day if you want. I know you’re eager to get back to work.”

  “Yeah, sure.” His mood changed and he took his hand off my arm. “Thanks.” He was quiet, his words succinct and tense.

  I bowed my head, remembering his history and that I wasn’t the kind of person to be an asshole. “I’m sorry. I’m a little sensitive with my kids gone for the holidays. Please, don’t mind me. I just want to work and keep busy.”

  He looked up at me and I could see him relax, his face remorseful. “I didn’t know.” Well, that answered my next question. Melissa hadn’t told him about me. “Can I ask where they are?”

  “They’re with their dad in Texas for the whole break. They’ve been gone for a week and won’t be home for another two.”

  “So…divorced?”

  The gasp that slipped out was unintended. I couldn’t help it. It was one of those times when you could feel your frown so heavy on your face that there was no hiding it.

  “Oh, God, what did I say?”

  I shook my head and put my hand up, then touched his arm. I tilted my head high, tried to smile and said, “Yes. Recently divorced.”

  Derek looked down at my hand still on his arm then back at me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m not quite myself lately. I shouldn’t have pried.”

  I forced a smile and patted his arm where my hand laid before removing it. “It’s okay. I’m okay. The wounds are a bit fresh sometimes, that’s all.”

  “Well, I apologize for being a totally prick. And yes, I would be very appreciative if you could fit me in every day this week. Thank you.”

  Our smiles were as fake as could be and I had no doubt he knew it too. “Well, tell Allison at the front what your schedule looks like for the remainder of the week. I’ll be here.” I carefully helped him out of the CPM, put his brace back on and grabbed a pair of crutches from the stash in my office.

  When I walked back into the room, Derek was leaning against the exam table. “Thank you and I’m sorry. I’m not usually such an ass.” His slight smile showed off a dimple, making him look very handsome.

  I handed him the crutches. “Well, I can accept that apology if you’ll ignore my sappy, sad, pathetic crap. It’s hard being alone over the holidays for the first time in almost twenty years.”

  His brow furrowed for just a second, but I saw it. It was pity and I hated it. “Deal.” Derek smiled a heart-stopping smile and all I could think of was the way Melissa teased about his saint-like arrogance. “See you tomorrow?”

  “Sure. And no more games or anything too physical until we get you fixed up, okay?”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  Derek London. He was one good looking man and boy did he know it. I was too old for him. Whoa, where did that thought come from? Maybe we could be friends. I liked his sister a lot, after all and I could certainly use a few more friends.

  Chapter 6

  Derek

  I was a stupid prick! I’d fucked up my knee at the station, then had to admit as much to Claire. It made me look like some stupid macho jock, which I hated because that really wasn’t me. The look on her face when she thought I’d done something kinky to hurt it, made me smile…like really smile…for the first time in forever. I couldn’t help it. She was easy to fluster and it was fun. And the blush on her cheeks? Well, it made her even more gorgeous and had my insides stirring with something I hadn’t felt in a long time. I knew very little about Claire before I showed up for my session. But in the span of an hour, I learned plenty of big details that were pretty damn eye-opening.

  Claire was kind.

  Claire was funny.

  Claire was recently divorced.

  Claire’s kids were in Texas with her ex-husband for a few weeks.

  Claire hated being alone.

  Now I needed to get Melissa to fill in the rest. I’d have to try to call her after work. I’m sure she’d do her best to avoid my rant, but I wanted to know. My gut told me there was a lot more to Claire’s story.

  *****

  It wasn’t until the next morning that I’d had the chance pin my sister down and get some answers. “Tell me. I want to know. Who would leave her? She seems pretty damned nice to me.” I’d barged into her office an hour before my appointment. I knew she would be there.

  “It’s a long story, Derek. I’m not sure she would want you to know all of this, but I think you might need to know since you made a total ass out of yourself. So sit down and shut the hell up.”

  “Geez, bitchy?”

  “You deserve much more and you know it.”

  “Yeah, probably, so, spill it.”

  My sister took a deep breath. “Claire’s husband, Jake, was in love with another woman for most, if not all, of their marriage. She knew he had feelings for a friend named Kaye even before they married, but believed he’d gotten over the college crush since he’d never even dated the girl. As a matter of fact, Kaye actually married his roommate. I don’t think she ever knew Jake had feelings for her.” Melissa stopped, lost in thought for a moment. “Anyway, they kept in touch, traveled together and eventually moved their families to St. John when Jake and his old roommate, Ron…or Rob…hell, whatever his name was…became business partners. At some point, Jake decided he’d confess his long-pent up fee
lings to the other woman.” Melissa shrugged and said, “I guess she felt the same.”

  “Holy shit! What kind of asshole marries one woman while he’s in love with another?” I’d already heard enough, but Melissa wasn’t through.

  “Well, it gets worse. Not only did they have an affair, but she got pregnant.”

  “What the fuck?”

  “Yeah, Claire had to face the fact that the man she’d been married to for nearly twenty years was finally getting the woman he’d always loved. And they were having a baby together.”

  “So, she’s what? Moving here to start over?”

  “Yes, and out of all of this, Claire, from what I understand, has been pretty damn great about not killing the bastard. I think they’re still pretty close. She lets it slip every now and then about a text or phone call from Jake.”

  “Do you think he’s playing her? You know, trying to keep a foot in the door in case that ‘green grass’ isn’t what he thought it would be?” I could feel my anger building.

  “No, I don’t think so. I mean, she refused to move back to Texas even though it would have been easier for her there. No, she chose to start over here, in a new place far away from Jake.”

  “Hmm…still bothers me and I don’t even know the guy…or Claire, really.” I was more than bothered by it. The whole situation reminded me of Abbi. She had toyed with my emotions and fucked with my head for years. I knew that game all too well, unfortunately. And I suddenly had the urge to play protector with my new ‘friend.’ I needed to pay closer attention to things Claire said about this Jake guy.

  “You need to be nice. She’s a great therapist and she’s my friend. I hired her back in the summer and have gotten to know her pretty well.”

  “I am. I will. Promise. I saw her yesterday and we had a good session. I apologized for being a douche and she accepted. I knew there was something. And the way she just sort of blurted out bits of her life to me, made me feel like she was genuine. Been a long time since I’ve been around a genuine woman that wasn’t kin to me.” I smirked at my sister.