Honest Love

by Cm Hutton

  After following her toward the office then back home, at a high rate of speed I might add, I ended up at her door…ringing the doorbell and knocking. Hell, I would’ve texted her to say it was me in the truck, but who had the time? She was like a crazy woman zigzagging all over the road. But yet again, I left her house pissed off and more determined than ever to get through, to break down her wall the way she had mine. She didn’t know it yet, but I had plans and she was at the very core of them. All. Of. Them. She was My Claire.

  Chapter 12

  Claire

  My alarm went off Monday morning and I winced at the thought of going into work. It was Christmas Eve and other than a few patients I needed to see, including Derek, I had nothing to do. I didn’t need to cook for anyone, shop for anyone or even put up a tree. Pathetic.

  Allison was scheduled to come in for half the day to get me organized and I’d planned to stay until about two o’clock. I surveyed the street around the front of my house as I opened the garage and backed out of the driveway. I didn’t see Derek’s truck.

  The drive into work was like a flash. I didn’t even really register where I was or what I was doing. I was beginning to feel foolish for not letting Derek explain his reaction to Jake’s text. If I were honest with myself, I’d acknowledge that I felt a little something for Derek and I was being a total ‘girl’ about him storming out. It was stupid.

  By the time I pulled into my parking spot, I’d made the decision to come clean with Derek and apologize to him for not letting him explain. I liked having his friendship and working with his sister everyday made it a ‘must’ that we get along. I stepped through the back door of the clinic and was greeted by Allison. “Hey, good morning. Derek London called to cancel for today. Said something about not realizing it was a holiday and he’d let us know whether the rest of the week would work or not.”

  I knew I was in trouble when I felt the disappointment set in that he wasn’t coming. I mentally slapped myself and thought, ‘Get control, Claire.’

  “Okay. Thanks for letting me know. I guess we should go ahead and fill any of his remaining spots for this week with another patient.”

  “Are you sure? Maybe we should wait to hear from him tomorrow.” Allison might have been right, but I needed to stay busy and I was sick and tired of being at the mercy of someone else’s moods and feelings.

  I squared my shoulders and said, “Yes, I’m sure. We can’t sit and wait for him to decide if he should show up or not. I’ll take the heat from Melissa if it comes to that, but I think she would agree with me. We have tons of patients that want to be here. Fill them.”

  I sounded like a total bitch, but the reality was that had I not known he was Melissa’s brother, I would be doing the exact same thing. If Melissa had a problem with it, I was sure she’d tell me.

  “Okay, I’ll go make some calls and fill those spots.” Allison was unsure about my decision, but did what I asked anyway.

  “Great.” The word came out a bit harsher than I’d intended. I turned on my heels and stomped to the back of the clinic. I was being ridiculous, but the control felt good.

  *****

  The day ended up being rather busy. With me being the only physical therapist working on Christmas Eve, patients were begging to get in for treatment the first half of the day. I’d only planned to stay until around 2pm, but kept working until almost five. Most were not my patients, so it was nice to chat and get to know new people. It kept my mind occupied. But once the day was over and I’d locked up the office to go home, the stillness of my life set in.

  I’d decided to make a slight detour to pick up dinner for myself at Rubio’s. I was quickly becoming addicted to their fish tacos. When I pulled into my driveway, I couldn’t help the small smile that turned up the corners of my mouth. I loved my house. It was a large, tan, stucco home, with a tile roof, an iron gated courtyard that led to the wrought iron front door, large palm trees in the front yard, and everything I didn’t know a house could have. It even had a heated pool and spa in the backyard and a large, furnished deck off the second floor that overlooked the area.

  I never locked the outer gate that led to the courtyard. It seemed strange to do it. So, as I pulled in, I could see that the gate was open and a package of some sort was sitting near my front door. Must’ve been from my kids. They’d probably sent me a Christmas gift, which was sweet, but I wasn’t in the mood to be sad at the moment. So, the gift would have to wait until later.

  I walked inside, made a quick run upstairs to my room and changed clothes before I went back to the kitchen to grab a drink and my tacos. I was going to flop myself down on my couch and watch movies for the rest of the night. First up was When Harry Met Sally…one of my favorites. Then, I’d planned on watching an all-time favorite…Grease. There was no way in hell I was watching any Christmas movie and I knew better than to turn on the TV.

  I polished off my tacos and had a small glass of wine as my dessert. About thirty minutes into the movie, I remembered the package at my front door. So, I pushed pause on the remote, took a deep breath and mustered up the strength to go and retrieve the box that was still sitting on my porch. I slowly opened the massive iron door and reached down to pick it up. It was a little heavy and the label didn’t give away who had sent it. There was only an address…from San Diego.

  Right as I shut the door and locked it, I heard my phone ding. I’d assumed it was my kids and the little reminder made me feel guilty for not calling them sooner. Truthfully, I was waiting until later in the evening so I could avoid hearing all the festivities in the background. I walked into the kitchen, grabbed scissors to open the box and peaked at my phone sitting on the bar. I was trying to open the package and look at my messages at the same time, so I nearly sliced my hand open as I saw the name on the text right as I was sliding the scissors across the tape.

  Derek:

  About time. I thought you might’ve missed it. Merry Christmas, Claire.

  Oh…what in the hell? I couldn’t help the huge smile on my face and the rush of warmth covering my body at the thought of Derek caring enough to give me a present. The box was from him.

  Claire:

  Where are you? What did you do?

  Derek:

  Open it.

  Claire:

  Hang on.

  Grinning from ear to ear, I finished opening the box and found four bottles of wine and an envelope. Inside the envelope was a brochure about some place called Temecula and a note from Derek.

  Merry Christmas, Claire!

  Get some rest. Tomorrow, I’m taking you to Temecula.

  Oh, and pack an overnight bag. We might stay the night.

  Derek

  He gave me a Christmas present. Wow.

  Claire:

  Thank you!

  Derek:

  You’re welcome. Will you go with me? I’d like to show you some places around here. I booked us separate rooms, so don’t freak out about staying the night.

  Claire:

  I wasn’t freaking out.

  Like hell, I wasn’t.

  Derek:

  Sure.

  I was done with the texting crap. I tapped the phone a few times and it began to ring.

  “You’re calling me?” He sounded surprised.

  “Hi, yeah, I didn’t want to text anymore. Too many misunderstandings happen through texting. Hearing someone’s voice is much better. Thank you for my present, by the way. What is Temecula?”

  “It’s wine country, about forty-five minutes from here. I’d like to take you.”

  “I’m not sure I can go.” He was silent for a few seconds. “I need to look at my schedule. I know we’re closed tomorrow, but I need to be at work on Wednesday. I’d like to go, though.”

  “You would? You would go with me even after I acted like an ass?”

  “Well, had you come to the clinic today, I would have told you I was sorry for not giving you a chance to apologize. I’m not exactly sure of what happened th
e other night, but I should’ve given you the opportunity to explain.”

  “Claire! Stop! Why in the hell are you apologizing to me? I’m actually shocked you’re even talking to me now.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I…well, I acted like an immature jerk and I regret it so much. What I wanted to do was curl up next to you and just hold you against me all night. But, I saw that stupid text from your ex-husband and I felt his manipulation. It reminded me of Abbi and all I could see was how she’d strung me along…continues to try and string me along with her bullshit. If Jake does that to you after what he did…well, I would…I was pissed and I didn’t know how to handle it or what to say. It all hit me at once. I was on the outside looking in and all I saw was my life after Abbi and it felt like your life was headed down the same path. I wanted to reach through that phone and tell him to fuck off and leave you alone or find him give him the ass whipping he deserves.” Derek let out a gruff laugh.

  I was speechless. I didn’t get my brain past the part about him curling up next to me and holding me. I think he said something about hitting Jake, but I was still fixated on the other part.

  “Claire, say something.”

  “Derek, I’m not sure what to say.”

  “Tell me you forgive me. Tell me you don’t fall for his bullshit. Tell me he doesn’t still have a hold on you. I know the divorce is fresh, but he’s moved on. He shouldn’t be sending you texts like that.”

  The whole conversation was so bizarre to me. I’d known him a whopping ten days and here he was all over my life with questions and concerns. And it was hard for me to deny that his concern felt good. “It’s not a big deal, Derek. It’s just how Jake is. I’m not saying I don’t miss him sometimes or wish things were different. But you’re right, it’s over and he’s moved on. I’ve accepted that—hell, I accepted that a long time ago.”

  “I don’t like that he does that to you.”

  “Thank you for caring, but I can handle my ex-husband just fine.”

  “Okay. I’ll leave it alone…for now. But I like you and I want to spend some time getting to know you.”

  I smiled. “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, that sounds nice to me too. I enjoy your company and considering I don’t have many friends here, I think I’d like that a lot. But Derek?”

  “Uh huh?”

  “You should know that it bothered me when you told me about Abbi and what she does to you. I know you still love her and it can be hard to let go. But you need to tread lightly when it comes to telling me how to handle Jake when she still has a hold on you.” I heard him suck in a breath. I had to be harsh to make him understand. This friendship and its rules weren’t going to be a one way street.

  “Claire, I don’t still love her. She used to have a way of making me…”

  “Derek, I don’t care, that’s your business. I’m just saying let me handle Jake.” I lied because I did care.

  “Fine.” He was quiet on the other end of the phone.

  “Well, thank you again for my present. It means a lot to me that you thought of me today. I’m going to get back to my evening. It’s filled with movies and maybe a hot bubble bath.” I was trying to lighten the conversation.

  “Claire.” His voice was strained.

  “Yes?”

  I heard him take a deep breath before he spoke. “Would it be okay if I come watch with you? I don’t have anything to do tonight.” I was an ass. I didn’t even think to ask if he was spending Christmas alone. I’d assumed he had plans with his family.

  “Of course you can. I’m sorry. I thought maybe you had plans with Melissa and your family.”

  “I did, earlier. Now everyone is at their own homes doing kid stuff or couple stuff…who knows. My parents are leaving in the morning for Aspen. So, it’s just me.”

  I closed my eyes and sighed. “I’m an ass, Derek. I should’ve asked if you had plans.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have. It was perfectly logical to think I was spending the whole day with my family.”

  “Come on over. I’ll make some popcorn. But be warned. I’m in the middle of When Harry Met Sally and the next movie is Grease. I needed oldies but goodies that just made me smile. So, suck it up buttercup.”

  Derek let out a loud, roaring laugh and I joined him. “Sounds perfect. See you in about ten seconds. I’m outside.”

  “Creeper.” I heard him still laughing as I hung up my phone right as he knocked on my front door. I checked to make sure I was decent before I opened the door. “Hi.”

  “Hi.” He had a sexy grin on his face as he walked in. I closed the door behind him and gave him one long peruse. This time, he was wearing jeans and a graphic tee.

  “So, do you always linger outside women’s houses?” I asked as I passed him.

  “Never, actually.” I turned to look at his face, full of honesty and a little embarrassment. There was also something else there that I couldn’t quite decipher.

  I walked to the couch and he followed. “Can I get you anything? Popcorn, water, dessert, wine…even though you said you’re not much of a drinker.”

  “Maybe a small glass of wine?”

  “Sure. Be right back. Go ahead and push play.” I hurried back to the kitchen and poured Derek a small glass of red wine then returned to find him spread out on one end of the couch, shoes off and looking comfortable. It felt…right.

  “Here you go.” I handed him the glass and sat on the opposite end of the couch. The movie was playing, so I didn’t have to say anything. We watched together, just enjoying the quiet. Every now and then, I would steal a glance at Derek. It was hard not to stare. When the movie ended, I stood to clear all the trash and glasses. Without a word, he joined me as I headed to the kitchen. It was very odd, this comfortable silence we had going. I liked it, maybe a little too much.

  With the dishwasher loaded and kitchen cleaned, I turned to Derek who had taken a seat on a barstool, “Ready for movie #2?”

  “Sure, if you are.” Truthfully, I was a tiny bit disappointed. His earlier words were still lingering in my mind, but I wasn’t about to bring them up or do anything else to embarrass myself.

  “Okay.” I heard him get up from his seat to follow me back into the living room. I bent to put Grease in the DVD player and when I stood, heavy strong arms circled my waist. I jumped at the sudden contact, but then relaxed and leaned back against his body.

  “Why haven’t you asked? You haven’t said a word about what I told you earlier…about wanting to hold you, to be next to you.” I let his arms pull me even closer to his body as he spoke low into my ear. His warm breath sent chills running up and down my body.

  “I didn’t know what to say.” My voice was a whisper.

  “Tell me now.”

  I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and was honest with Derek. “I would have liked that very much.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, Derek turned me around to face him and paused only a second before his hands cupped my face and his mouth slowly, softly covered mine. My entire body came alive in that moment. The feel of his short beard against my face, the gentleness of his lips and tongue as they brushed across the seam of mine had me praying for more. I opened for him and let his tongue find mine. It was a long, sensually slow kiss that tested and tasted every corner of my mouth. I was a giant pile of nothing. I hadn’t been kissed like that in years, maybe not ever. Derek made me feel like his entire mind, body and soul were focused on me—only me.

  Pulling away from our kiss, he placed his forehead against mine, eyes still closed and said, “Movie?”

  I leaned away and studied his face. “Sure.” Hell no, I didn’t want the movie. But I wasn’t some horny teenager that couldn’t control my emotions. It was probably for the best, though. My head was a foggy mess.

  Derek took my hand in his and led me to the sofa. This time, he pulled me next to him, making sure I was sitting even closer than we had on Saturday night and he spooned my body
next to his. It felt wonderful. The movie played and I’m certain that not even a single word or song registered in my mind. That was partly due to Derek slowly rubbing his hand up and down my right arm for most of the movie. Neither of us said anything. As the credits rolled, I sat up and looked at him, suddenly finding the courage to say, “Do you want to stay? I mean…”

  He put a finger on my lips to stop my mumbling and blinked long and slow. “More than you know.” I smiled and stood to go upstairs, not really knowing what to do or even expect. I only knew I didn’t want him to leave. When I stepped into my bedroom, Derek was right behind me. I stopped for just a second and his arms came around my waist again. “Please don’t take a bubble bath. I’m not sure I could restrain myself.”

  “What?” I tried to move away so I could see his face, but his grip on me was tighter as we moved across the room to my bed.

  “Earlier—you said you were going to take a bubble bath. Please don’t. I’m having a hard enough time as it is.”

  I smiled and looked back at him over my shoulder. “Really?”

  “God, yes! Are you blind woman?” I let out a little laugh, then sobered.

  “Tell me.” My words were quiet.

  “Tell you what?” Derek breathed in the scent of my hair, then gently moved it off my shoulder to one side. I could feel his lips moving on the side of my neck as he spoke. “That you’re sexy as hell?” Kiss. “That I can’t just be your friend?” Kiss. “That your prick of an ex-husband better stay away?” Kiss. “That it’s taking a lot of restraint not to completely devour you?” Kiss.

  “Yeah, that.” I turned in his arms, placed my hands on his cheeks and kissed his handsome bearded face. “Stay. Stay with me tonight. I want to feel someone next to me again. I want to feel you next to me.” I was reduced to begging.

  “I don’t think I could leave now even if you tried to kick me out. But I won’t push you, Claire. You tell me what you need—what you want.”

  “Okay.” I stared at his full lips, red from our kiss.

  Derek leaned in close to my lips and said, “You and I—we understand each other. I can feel it. I need what you need.” He was so right. I leaned the rest of the way, closing the gap between us and boldly licked across his slightly open mouth. He let out a groan, picked me up at the waist and stumbled to my bed before first tossing me on it, then joining me. As soon as he was at my side, I began showering his mouth and face with gentle kisses. We tangled arms and legs around each other and continued to make-out for a long time. It felt so surreal, so natural. I’d always been afraid I would feel guilty about being with another man after Jake, but I didn’t. I felt just the opposite. It was comfortable, safe and loving. Derek was a complete gentleman, only letting his hands rest on my barely exposed lower back as he kissed me.