by Cm Hutton
I rubbed my fingers down the middle of her ass again and she just smiled, raised one eyebrow then covered my mouth with hers. I didn’t explore it any further. I kept my hands firmly gripped to the rest of her ass.
After several long minutes, I’d had enough of Claire being in control, so I abruptly flipped us over and I had her pinned to the bed, her arms above her head. Her wide smile told me she was just fine with me taking control. “My turn to torture you.”
“Okay.” Claire wiggled her hips beneath me.
I kissed across her neck and down behind her ear. She tilted her head for me to have better access. “Ahh, that feels good,” she whispered when I licked and kissed right behind her earlobe.
“Like that?”
“Uh huh.”
I kissed behind the opposite ear, then slowly slid my hands under her top and inched it up until I got it off her body. I used one hand to hold her hands back in place over her head and used the other to grab a strawberry off of the food tray still sitting at my side. She watched as I traced each nipple with the fruit, one at a time before I licked and sucked the juice away. “Oh God, Derek.”
“I know. Someday soon we are going to explore a bit more of this ‘fruit during sex’ thing. But right now, I need you…need inside you.”
Claire wiggled her hips again. “Take me.”
“Gladly.” I slipped her shorts off and Claire lay naked waiting for me. I worked my way out of my pajama pants and just before I buried myself in her folds, I asked again. “Condom?”
“You’re starting to worry me. Do you have some disease I need to know about?”
“Hell no!”
I didn’t say anything else. I just took my cock and pushed in hard and deep. “Yes,” slipped out of her mouth. “So good.”
I didn’t rush anything. I pulled in and out so slowly that Claire was grabbing my ass trying to get me to speed up. “No, let me learn your body. Slow, baby.”
She relaxed and let me make slow sweet love to her. When she was on the brink of exploding, I picked up my pace and started thrusting into her, pounding out our releases. “Come with me, Derek…please.”
“Now, come now.” I loved the feeling of my bare skin on hers, no barriers.
“Oh God,” she screamed. “Derek…shit, baby. Don’t stop.” I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to.
“Never,” and I meant it. Without a doubt, I’d never give her up. Not after our weekend. Not after she’d called me baby for the first time and not after making me fall in love with her.
We fell asleep, wrapped up in each other, completely naked. The food had gotten tossed off the bed during our love making, but I didn’t care. Claire and I had made love. Neither of us would say it out loud, but that’s exactly what it was. And eventually, sometime really soon, I was going to tell her how much she meant to me.
Chapter 18
Claire
I looked at the alarm clock sitting next to the bed. 4:30am
Derek’s warm body was spooned behind mine, his big strong arms circled around me in a death grip. We were still naked and I loved the feeling of him next to me. I felt safe. Loved.
I wanted to deny how much I cared about him, but couldn’t. And there was no doubt what that was last night. We’d made love. It wasn’t just sex. It wasn’t just two lonely people needing each other. I knew it and I was sure he did too.
I laid there, my mind going a hundred miles an hour. I didn’t want to overthink things. I just wanted to enjoy my time with Derek…however long that might be. I wanted to see a future for us, but couldn’t…or didn’t, not that he’d asked or even mentioned anything. But, I knew enough about myself to know I could easily fall hard for him. Only I wasn’t who he needed. Derek wanted kids, his own family. I couldn’t give that to him. So, if I wanted to spend more time with him, I’d have to find a way to distance myself, build a wall of sorts and still have fun. It was selfish, but I didn’t want to give him up just yet.
I closed my eyes and tried to fall back asleep. It was the middle of the week, but I didn’t have to be at the clinic until tomorrow. I was going to spend another day with Derek and that made me happy, really happy.
I felt him stir and breathe out a heavy sigh at the back of my neck. His arms tightened. Peace draped over me and I found myself drifting back to sleep, a big smile on my face.
*****
Soft kisses across my shoulders and the feel of fingers tracing circles around my breasts woke me from a sound sleep. “Mmm…” was the only sound I could make.
Derek didn’t say a word. His hand moved south to my stomach, still softly touching. I pushed back against him just a fraction and felt his taut body. I moved my hand and placed it over his, then guided it downward to the wetness between my legs before letting it go. I could’ve sworn I felt his mouth smile against my neck. His fingers slid between my folds and slowly massaged my swollen clit and around my entrance. “Here, beautiful?” I nodded my head. My body was too aroused for my head and mouth to allow any words to form.
Derek pushed one finger inside me and rubbed. When my hips started to follow his rhythm, he pushed a second one in. My breathing was getting faster…louder. “Derek…”
“Shh…” He removed his hand and I started to turn in his arms, but he stopped me. “No.”
I laid still for a second, waiting to see what he was going to do to me. Didn’t take long to figure it out. He reached between us and positioned his erection between my legs and thrust upward, right inside where I needed him. “Oh. God.” Derek’s hand came back around to my clit and he pinched and rubbed it as he took me deep and slow from behind. I loved the feeling…loved that he knew how to take care of me, of my body and I let him.
I felt his pace quicken and knew he was close. I was too, but didn’t say anything. He grew harder inside me. His breath was quick and heavy. I reached down and let my hand join his as it worked my body. “Claire…oh, God. So. Perfect. And. All. Mine.”
That was all it took. Hearing Derek call me his, even if it was in the throes of sex, sent my body over the edge and my fragile heart right along with it. I was in big trouble.
*****
We showered, packed, had breakfast and headed back to the city. We were both pretty quiet on the ride home. I knew why I was, but didn’t have a clue about Derek. Our fingers were intertwined and Derek’s thumb kept rubbing across my hand. I finally squeezed to get his attention.
“Thank you for all this. I had an amazing time.”
“You’re welcome. I did too.” He lifted our hands and kissed the back of mine, just like he had on our ride the day before. “Do you have to work tomorrow?”
“Yes, I’m supposed to have patients all day and plan to work pretty late to make up for missing today.”
“Okay, I’m probably not coming in for my appointment if you want to fill it. I need to take care of a few things and go work at the station for a while.”
“Oh, okay, sure. I’ll let Allison know.” I tried not to sound disappointed.
Derek looked at me and smiled. “You gonna miss me?”
I huffed out a laugh. “Nah, you’re sort of boring.”
A loud laugh roared out of Derek. “You’re something else.” He shook his head and kissed my hand again.
“Back at ya.” Our moods had lifted.
“Can I take you to dinner after you’re off tomorrow?” A date.
“I’d like that.” As a matter of fact, I loved it.
“Good. Let’s stop and grab a quick late lunch when we get back, then I’ll take you home.” My smile fell and I looked out my window. I guess I’d assumed we would spend the rest of the day together. But then again, we’d never talked about that. “Hey, are you okay? You’re awfully quiet all of a sudden.”
I looked at Derek and put on my best smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Lunch sounds good.”
His brows furrowed, studying me for a second before he looked back at the road and I stared back outside. “You sure?”
“Yep
.”
“You can talk to me, you know. Is something bothering you?” He didn’t see it, but I closed my eyes in a long blink and tried to compose myself.
“No, I’m good. I’m enjoying the drive.”
“Okay, well, I also wanted to tell you that if your kids haven’t done it yet, maybe I…we could take them to Pacific Beach after they get back and let them learn how to build those incredible sand castles. There is a local artist that runs year round lessons.”
Suck it up, Claire. You’re being a fucking girl! You knew it couldn’t last. You just wanted it to last longer than a weekend. I sat up straight and answered. “That sounds nice. No, they haven’t done that yet. When we moved here at the end of the summer, we were too busy getting settled. Thank you. I think they’d love that.”
“When are they coming home?”
Home. I almost huffed out the word. “Right after New Year’s.” One week…January 2nd to be specific. But I didn’t tell Derek that. I was missing them terribly right at that moment. I needed my “new normal” back. I was feeling extremely out of sorts sitting in the seat next to Derek. I couldn’t explain it, but something was off. He was rushing to get back. Something had changed since that morning, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Maybe this was what dating was about now. Fuck, I hoped not.
Derek didn’t ask any more questions. As we got closer to the neighborhood, I said, “I think I want to skip lunch. I’m not that hungry since I ate a ton at breakfast. Mind just dropping me off?”
“What?” He seemed shocked. “You don’t want to grab something?”
“No, I think I’d rather go home.” I smiled and wiggled my fingers to remove my hand from his, but he gripped it tighter.
“Why are you trying to take your hand back? What’s up?”
“I just…we should…” I shook my head, trying to clear it. “I think I’m just worn out. I’m ready to go home and take a nap, you know, rest up before work tomorrow. I’m feeling overwhelmed thinking about my schedule. It’s no big deal.”
Derek didn’t say anything for a minute. He let go of my hand, then quietly said, “You’re lying, but I’m not going to push. If you want to talk to me about anything, you can. I want you to talk to me. If you’re feeling weird or upset about us, I wish you’d tell me. It’s okay to move on, Claire. You deserve to be happy.”
I felt the tears form and turned away from Derek. He didn’t really understand. But he needed something, so I said, “I don’t feel weird about anything. It’s just new.” That was all I could give him. I didn’t want to tell him that I was disappointed in not spending the day with him, that I hated we were only going to have one set of memories together, that I would miss him more than I ever thought I would or that my heart felt like it was breaking…again.
“You sure that’s it?”
“Yes, Derek.” We turned onto my street and I sucked in a big breath preparing myself. When he parked in my drive, I reached for the door handle, but he grabbed my arm, stopping me.
“Hey, slow down.” I just smiled. “I’ll open the door for you.” He climbed out of the driver’s seat, shut the door and walked slowly around the front of the car to the passenger side. I noticed his knee was pretty stiff. All our ‘activities’ in the hotel room were probably painful for him. He opened my door and said, “Now. See? I like opening the door for you. Okay?”
I picked up my purse and stood up out of the car. “Yes, thank you. It’s nice. Is your knee okay? Looks like your movement is pretty stiff. I think you should try to make it to your appointment tomorrow and Friday.”
Derek snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me tight to his chest. “It’s just a little sore…totally worth it, though.” He kissed me and I melted into him. “Don’t you think?”
“Yes.” It was perfect. He stared at me, searching my face, then let go and grabbed my bag. I started walking to my front door with Derek right behind me. Just as I put the key in the door, I turned to face him and put my hand on his chest. “Thank you again. I had the most incredible time with you. Just what I needed.”
Derek looked down at my hand, then placed his on top of it and looked back at my face. “Good. Me, too. So, why do you sound so…sad or upset?”
I smiled. “Stop. I’m just tired. Now go. I’ll talk to you later.” I had to pull myself together. Shit! I knew I was doing the right thing. He’d thank me one day. I just knew it. “Go.” I pushed his chest and let out a small laugh. I’m sure he knew it was fake, but he didn’t argue with me.
“Okay, okay. Got some other hot date or something?”
“Maybe so. Now go.” I was kidding, but he must not have seen the humor because he took a giant step, grabbed me and slammed our chests together.
“Just to be clear…the answer to that is NO! No other dates, hot or otherwise. Only me.”
“Hey, I was kidding, Derek. But since you brought it up, I think we should just take this a day at a time. No strings. See who you want. I’ll do the same. Okay?” He was still squeezing me tightly.
“NO! Not okay! I knew something was up. You’ve been sitting in that damn car all the way home thinking of ways to walk away from me. Not. Happening. You’re freaking out because you feel something for me just like I do for you. You’re scared and worried. Plus, your kids are coming back soon and you don’t know how to handle it all. Am I right, Claire?”
I stared at Derek, unable to lie, but unable to tell the whole truth. “Yes.” His body relaxed a little, but not his death grip on me. My eyes were begging him to understand. He kissed my forehead and I laid my head on his chest.
“Don’t. You’re thinking too much. Just let things happen the way they’re supposed to happen. It’ll be okay. I promise.” I tried to take a step back, but he held on a few seconds longer before reluctantly letting me go.
“Okay.” That was all I could get out without falling apart.
He cupped my face, leaned down and gently kissed my lips. “Call you later?”
“Sure.”
“I’m going to miss you the second I get in that car. Hell, I miss you now and I’m standing right here.” His words gutted me. I wished they were true.
“Me, too.” I was hanging on by a string. “Now go.”
Still holding my face in his hands, Derek looked deep into my eyes. “There’s something else wrong. I don’t know what it is, but I’m going to find out so we can fix it and move on past it.” But he wasn’t sticking around to figure it out. No, he wasn’t fighting to stay, spend the day with me. He was in a hurry to leave and that spoke volumes to me.
I kissed his lips then smiled. “Talk to you later?”
“Yes, I’ll call you.”
“Okay. Get going.” I shut the door, walked the bottom step of my stairs, sat down and cried.
Chapter 19
Derek
I didn’t understand what was going on with Claire. We’d had such a wonderful few days making love, getting to know each other. Maybe it was me. I was really quiet on the drive home after I saw the text from Abbi. She could so easily send me into a major funk if I let her, but she wasn’t going to do it to me this time. Problem was, I needed to look her in the eye and tell her to fuck off. That was the only way to make her listen. In order to do that, though, I’d had to drop Claire off much earlier than I’d intended. I’d wanted to spend the day with my amazing girl. But tossing Abbi out on her ass forever was crucial if I wanted a life with Claire. I’d snuck in a text to Abbi while Claire was packing.
Derek:
Back in town this afternoon. Meet at my house at 3.
Abbi:
Perfect! Miss you. Need you.
I didn’t reply. It was one of her games and I knew it. I was uneasy with the ‘meeting’ lingering over me. I was afraid Claire would somehow see my phone and freak the fuck out. She was timid as it was about starting over and when I’d called her on all that lying bullshit, she’d readily admitted it. I loved how transparent, how honest she was about her feelings. It made he
r so much more real to me. I was falling in love with her more every day, every time she showed me a piece of her soul. I could admit it to myself if not to her. She was my future. I just wasn’t sure how to get there. The whole ‘single’ thing was new for Claire. I’d had a few years to get used to it, but she was struggling, so I knew I had to approach it gingerly.
And that whole shit about seeing whoever I wanted and she’d do the same was NOT HAPPENING! I’d nearly spilled my guts right then, but I pulled it together enough to get my point across. Claire still seemed…something…when I left. But I had to get the hell out of there before Abbi showed up at my house or drove past and saw me at Claire’s. Abbi knew all my cars and since I was the dumbass that personalized all my plates…well, she’d know it was me in that driveway and Abbi was too much of a loose cannon to let her anywhere around Claire.
I felt so crazed leaving. It didn’t take a genius to see that Claire needed me…needed my reassurance, my attention, but I left anyway like a fool at the beck and call of my ex-wife. I prayed Claire didn’t find out and feel like I’d chosen Abbi over her needs. I wondered for a brief second if Claire did that with Jake. The thought pissed me off beyond any anger I’d ever felt. Fuck…they had kids together. Of course they’d have to always communicate. At least with Abbi, I didn’t have to have any kind of continued relationship. Hmm…yeah, I didn’t have to…so why the hell was I doing it now?
I could see Claire in my future. I wanted a life with her, but didn’t want to scare her. I wanted a family with Claire, but she was resistant. I hadn’t pushed to know why, but I wanted kids of my own. It was a ‘man’ thing. She was still young, but I just didn’t know how she felt. What if she said no or couldn’t? I guess I’d have to accept that. I mean, if I really wanted a life with her, I’d take it any way I could have it, right? But, I was getting ahead of myself. First things first.
I drove two streets over and found Abbi already waiting in the drive. “Of course…not even two fucking o’clock,” I mumbled to myself. I parked my car in the garage, climbed out and before I even retrieved my bag, Abbi was at my side.
