The House in Banes Meadow

by Jessie Cox

  “Car Two. Ten four,” Ted replied, as he turned into a driveway, then backed up to turn around.

  “Generally a roving field supervisor shift is boring as hell,” he thought. “But with this “vampire” running loose, it has made for some excitement.”

  Ted gunned the motor and the big SUV surged forward. “Wouldn’t it be neat if there really was a vampire and I was the one who caught it?” he thought, and stepped down harder on the gas.

  Four miles ahead Nettie Pyles, in her 1952 Chevrolet, was speeding along at twenty eight miles per hour. She and Ted, unbeknownst to each other, were going to the same destination. She had been buying her eggs at Bugs Canon’s farm for twenty years and saw no reason to switch to store bought eggs, that any fool would know were not fresh.

  Three miles before the turn off on County Road 22, Ted topped a hill at 70 miles per hour. A mile down the road an old Chevrolet belched smoke as it crept along like it was fogging for mosquitoes.

  Nettie would have seen him in her rearview had she bothered to look, but everyone knew that except for using the mirror to check your hair, what went on behind you was not your affair and if anyone didn’t like her being in front of them, they should have left earlier.

  Ted applied the brakes, but the SUV was too heavy to stop before hitting the car in front of him. Quickly turning on the overheads and the siren, he whipped into the oncoming lane and sped by the old car.

  All of which almost caused Nettie to wet herself in startled fear. Realizing what had happened, Nettie grew angry.

  “How dare that upstart to be driving like that! I don’t care if he is a policeman!” she told herself.

  Deciding to catch whoever the driver was and give him a piece of her mind, Nettie stepped down hard on the gas. After a few burps and what sounded like a couple of farts the old car inched its way up to 40 miles per hour. Nettie grasped the wheel tightly and squinted her eyes at the dizzying speed just like she saw Steve McQueen do in that race car movie she had seen so long ago.

  Once past the old kook in the Chevy, Ted slowed down and turned off the overheads and siren. Checking intersecting road numbers he soon found his turn. A few miles later he turned into the old Canon Place, where he saw Bugs in bib-overalls and torn sneakers awaiting him on the porch with shotgun in hand.

  As Ted stopped the car, Bugs came running to meet him. “I got it! I got it!” Bugs shouted. “I trapped U’tiun’ta’ in my henhouse!”

  “Whoa,” Ted said holding up one hand. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  “Well,” began Bugs. “Ol’ Sport, my blue healer, has been missing for a couple of days. I figured that Cherokee vampire got him. Then this mornin’ I heard some noise in the henhouse. I injuned out there an’ closed the door. When I peeked through a knothole I see these two glowing eyes staring back at me. Eyes like I never seed before. I was gonna take it on by myself, but better sense dictated that I might need some backup.”

  “So you called us,” Ted finished for him.

  “That’s right,” Bugs said. “You being county and all, I don’t figure I’ll have to share any reward with you, right?”

  “I don’t think there is a reward,” Ted said. “But let’s go see what you have in the hen house.”

  As the two men turned to go, Nettie slid into the drive in a way that would have made McQueen proud. Getting out of her car and walking through the cloud of dust she had kicked up like a phantom gunslinger in drag, she roared. “You! Young fuzz! I want to talk to you!”

  “Oh shit,” whispered Bugs. “You are on your own with this one!”

  “Stop right there,” Ted ordered. “You are interfering with police business! I’ll talk to you after my business here is finished.”

  Nettie stood where she had stopped with her fingers searching for a big .45 that was not hidden in the folds of her ankle length dress. McQueen wept in his grave.

  “Come on,” Ted told Bugs. “Let’s get this over with.”

  The two men cautiously approached the hen house and Ted peeked through a knothole.

  “I don’t see anything,” Ted said.

  “Well of course you don’t.” Bugs said. “It’s full daylight and it has probably turned into a bat and is roosting upside down from a rafter.”

  “Okay,” Ted said. “You open the door when I tell you, then step back, but be ready with that shotgun in case I miss.”

  Ted positioned himself in front of the door, gun in hand. At his signal, Bugs threw the door open and jumped back, bringing his shotgun to bear. Something large and horrible moved slowly into the light, its whiskers sticky with dried egg yolk and a feather that hung from its mouth. With a slow wagging tail, it went to greet Bugs. Then, pausing to vomit egg, shell and feathers on the stunned man’s shoe, it hurried to its bed under the porch.

  “Ol’ Sport?” Bugs asked in disbelief.

  “Fools,” Nettie cackled. “I never seen two bigger fools in my life! Takes two of you to gun down a poor old egg suckin’ dog! Just wait ‘til the ladies at church hear about this!”

  Embarrassed and angry, Ted strode to where Nettie stood.

  “You wanted to talk to me?” he asked.

  “Nope,” Nettie said with a grin. “Never does no good to talk to a fool.”

  Ray had just gotten on his uniform, getting ready to go on shift, when the phone rang.

  “Corngrower,” he growled into the receiver, thinking it was another telemarketer.

  “Ray. This is Ann in dispatch.”

  “Oh. Hi Ann. What’s up? “he asked.

  “Do you know an old woman by the name of Patterson?” Ann asked.

  “Yes,” Ray replied. “I’ve known her for years. Is she okay?”

  “I’m not sure,” answered Ann. “She just called and said that she had shot a Bigfoot. Captain Abraham thinks she’s senile. She did ask for you to drop by.”

  “I don’t know about Bigfoot, but if Elvira Patterson says she shot something, you can believe something has been shot,” Ray replied. “I’ll head out there on my way to the station.”

  “Will you need backup?” Ann asked.

  “No,” Ray said. “That old gal and I go back a long way.”

  Going out to get in his truck, Ray thought about Elvira. She was a spunky old woman who would never tell her age, but Ray thought she was around ninety years old. Her husband had died over twenty years ago and her children were scattered. She lived alone except for a few stray cats.

  Though her children had urged her to move in with one of them, she was against it.

  “I raised you knotheads and have had my fill of all of you,” she had told her children. “The only way I’ll ever leave my home is when they carry me out feet first.”

  Ray turned into the long, curving drive that ran into a parking area in front of her house. She opened her door as he got out of the truck.

  “Hello Mrs. Patterson,” Ray said.

  “Hello Ray. I’m glad you came,” she answered.

  “What seems to be the problem?” Ray asked.

  “I had just gone to bed last night when I hear something making a ruckus on my back porch,” she replied. “I thought it was that Cherokee vampire everyone has been talking about. I hollered through the door for it to git, but it just started growlin’ and yellin’ like it was a demon from hell that had been splashed with holy water. A body can’t sleep with that kind of noise going on, so I throwed open the door and sent a couple of blasts from my old double-barreled shotgun into the dark. The back porch light is burnt out and I can’t reach it to change the bulb. So I went on to bed and when it was light this mornin’ found I had done killed a Bigfoot.”

  “Is the body still there?” Ray asked.

  “Shore is,” Elvira said. “I tried to drag if off into the bushes so the coyotes would get rid of it, but I can’t move it. That is why I called you.”

  “Let’s take a look,” Ray said and walked around the house to the back porch.

  It was huge and hairy. Most of its chest h
ad been blown away by the shotgun blast. Elvira watched from her back door as Ray reached down and pulled the head off the gorilla costume.

  “Why, that’s the young real estate feller that has been stopping by every week asking to buy this old house,” she said. “I kept tellin’ him, just like I told my kids, the only way I’m leaving is feet first. Why do you think he would pull a fool stunt like that?”

  “Maybe he thought if you had died of a heart attack, he could buy the place from your kids,” Ray answered. “Can I use your phone?”

  Chapter 10

  Amos and Timmy reached the banks of the Little Deep Fork River about an hour before dusk. Timmy gathered wood and Amos made a fire. Then, taking the long cane poles, they baited up with stink bait.

  “Whoee!” Timmy exclaimed. “That is a horrible smell.”

  “There are many parts to a chicken that most people waste,” Amos told him. “When you set chicken guts in the sun for three days, they become a favorite dinner of catfish.”

  Baiting up, they dropped their lines in the water. The un-weighted bait floated for a while, then slowly sank out of sight.

  “While we wait for a fish to bite, I will tell you of U’ tiun’ta’,” Amos said. “U’ tiun’ta lives in old abandoned houses and barns...”

  Timmy’s eyes grew wide and the tip of the long cane pole trembled in time with his hands.

  “... and when U’ tiun’ ta’ saw the fine young men bound as if for sacrifice to her she rushed among them, making sure they all lived before beginning her feast,” Amos continued. “Then a call like that of Grandfather Owl made her look up. Her eyes were still wide open in delight of the offering left for her. The arrow flew straight into her eye and in an instant she turned to smoke and vanished.”

  Amos noticed the fear in Timmy’s eyes and the way his hands were shaking.

  “The young men were greeted as heroes by both tribes upon their return. They were given many horses and much land with fine homes. They had their choice of all the beautiful young women to warm their beds and start their families,” Amos said.

  Then after a pause he continued. “One of these brave warriors was an ancestor of yours. His blood flows through your veins.”

  “Really?” Timmy asked as the fear left his eyes and his hands became calm and steady.

  Just then the tip of Amos’ pole dove toward the water and soon after Timmy’s did the same. The fish had started feeding.

  U’ tiun’ ta’ crept from her dark hiding place as the sun set. It had been too long since she had fed on the Yoneg heartblood. While she could and did survive on the blood of rats and other small creatures easily caught, it was the blood of the ‘two legged’ that she craved. She was fortunate there were so many victims among the homeless. Most of them either would not be found or even if they were, no one would know who they had been. Tonight she would hunt to quench the awful thirst that controlled her existence.

  After finishing his report, Ted wandered down to the locker room to find several uniformed standing around talking.

  “I hope we hurry up and catch this ‘vampire’”, one deputy said.” The locals are going crazy. There has been more sightings of this thing than of UFOs after a night of drinking.”

  “Yeah,” said another deputy. “I had a domestic assault call today. Some guy’s wife thought it would be fun to scare her hubby by acting like she had been turned into a vampire. He nailed her right between the eyes with a green tomato while trying to drive her away. By the time I got there both of her eyes were black and her nose was bruised. She looked like a raccoon.”

  Ted cleared his throat and was about to tell of his call to the Canon residence, but before he could speak one of the deputies mentioned something about needing to go home before his wife got worried. The group broke up and Ted was left alone.

  Going out to his car Ted discovered that he’d left his keys in his desk. Returning to the building he saw Ray coming down the hall towards him.

  “Hello, Inspector. I’ve been looking for you,” Ray said. “I need some input on this Patterson report.”

  “Tell me about it,” Ted replied.

  After Ray explained the details, Ted said. “It sounds like self-defense to me. Besides, at her age Patterson would not be prosecuted.”

  “That’s what I thought too,” Ray answered. “So it’s okay to write it as a self-defense?”

  “I don’t see why not,” Ted replied.

  “That’s great,” Ray said. “I’d hate to be the one who tried to arrest Elvira or try to take her shotgun.”

  “That report will pretty much take the rest of your shift to write,” Ted said. “Why don’t you go Code Seven and I’ll buy you coffee and pie at Maggie’s.”

  “Maybe the coffee,” Ray replied. “But I’ll pass on the pie. I’m starting to bulge around the belt line.”

  “The department does have Maternity Leave,” Ted said, sneaking a peek at Ray’s belt.

  “Gee. Thanks, Inspector. You are a big help,” Ray said, and laughed.

  Ray went to tell Dispatch before joining Ted in his car.

  Turning out of the police parking lot the two men rode in silence for a while.

  “What’s on your mind, Inspector?” Ray finally asked.

  “It’s that apparent, huh?” Ted replied without taking his eyes off the road. “I got a phone call from my ex-wife, Ellen. She and some guy named George plan on getting married next week and want a month long honeymoon in the Caribbean. She wants me to keep our kids, Toby and Sarah, while they are gone. That wouldn’t be a problem, but I’ve used most of my vacation time and I’m not sure what to do with them while I’m at work.”

  “How old are they?” Ray asked.

  “Sarah is eight and Toby is ten,” Ted replied. “Too old for a babysitter, but too young to be left alone with no friends or family to keep an eye on them.”

  Pulling to the curb in front of Maggie’s they got out and went inside. Once seated at a table, they gave their order to a waitress neither had seen before.

  “You are new here,” Ted said, while admiring her face, red hair and legs.

  “Yes. I’m Trudy Yockey. This is my first day,” she answered.

  “I’m Ted Watts and this is Ray Corngrower. We are both with the Creek County Sheriff’s Department, if you can’t tell by Ray’s uniform,” Ted said.

  “Oh! I just love a man in uniform,” Trudy replied as she studied Ray’s face.

  Ray looked up and smiled shyly. “Nice to meet you,” he said.

  “Same here,” Trudy replied, pouring their coffee. “I’d better get back to work. I get off at eight,” she said, looking directly at Ray.

  “I get off at six,” Ray said. Maybe I’ll drop by for a cup of coffee before I go home.”

  “I’ll look forward to seeing you,” Trudy said with a smile.

  After she had gone, Ted turned to Ray and said, “How do you do that?”

  “Do what?” Ray asked.

  “How does a homely man like you draw the attention of such beautiful women?” Ted replied.

  “I don’t know,” Ray said. “It must be the uniform.”

  Trudy returned with Ted’s pie and set an unordered one in front of Ray.

  “Here, honey,” she said. “A big man like you needs to keep his strength up.”

  Ray looked up at her and felt a thump deep inside.

  “Thhthank you,” He stammered.

  Trudy’s parting smile melted the ice from Ray’s heart, but was accompanied by a stab of guilt as he thought of his deceased fiancée, Jan.

  Noticing the sour look on Ted’s face, he asked, “What’s wrong Ted, too much lemon in your pie?”

  “Yeah. That’s what it is,” Ted said. “But it will be okay.”

  The two men finished their pie and coffee. Ted paid and drove Ray back to the station. As he was getting out of the car, Ray thanked Ted for the snack then said, “I have a thought. You mentioned that Toby and Sarah do not know anyone here. Amos Badwater has a n
iece and nephew about the same age. Maybe they could play together.”

  “Great idea,” Ted replied. “Thanks Ray.”

  Ray had just finished the reports when Captain Abraham came up and said,

  “I’d like to see you in my office.”

  “Yes sir,” Ray replied, putting the finished report into the Out basket for one of the secretaries to pick up.

  Once seated in his office Abraham wasted no time in getting to the point.