The Real Werewives of Vampire County

by Ivy, Alexandra; Fox, Angie; Dane, Tami; Haines, Jess

  “That drug you found in your drink,” she said. “It was sparkly.”

  “Yes.” I didn’t want to rush her, but as soon as Vinny went back for a few extra cases of silver bullets, we were leaving.

  Tia touched my arm. “Sunny had been giving me vitamin supplements, for my husband. They were supposed to help him get extra nutrients, because, well, I’m anemic and”—a blush crept up her cheeks—“he only wanted to drink from me.”

  “How romantic,” I said, stunned that I almost understood.

  “It is,” she said dreamily. “Anyway, it seemed he needed more. Or at least we thought he needed something. Thomas was getting more and more tired, until one day he decided to sleep.”

  Then it hit me. “Sunny was mixed up in Slimprol.”

  It made sense, and it didn’t. Sunny and Bliss were friends, but Bliss didn’t seem all that eager to share her pills—or her secrets.

  “How can we be sure?” Lucien asked.

  “I’m sure.” She gripped my arm. “The vitamin supplements are blue and sparkly, about the size of an aspirin.”

  “Holy hell.”

  Vinny slammed the trunk. “All set.”

  “Get in the car,” I told her.

  I took a seat next to Lucien and yanked the door closed. “Sunny was giving Slimprol to Tia’s husband, Thomas.”

  His expression hardened. “How can you know?”

  Tears welled in her eyes. “I put one on his tongue every morning.” She ended in a wail. “I thought I was helping him. I love him! Why would Sunny want him to go to sleep?”

  “She wouldn’t,” Lucien said, pulling out of the drive. “But her husband, Gaston, is Thomas’s business partner, correct?”

  Tia gave a sniffling nod.

  “Pharmaceuticals,” Lucien added.

  “What do you want to bet they’re the makers of Slimprol?” Vinny asked.

  “About a hundred billion percent.” I wondered just what Sunny had gotten herself mixed up in. Tia, too.

  “Is he—” Tia sobbed, “is he going to be okay?”

  Vinny patted Tia on the leg, clearly uncomfortable with the grieving woman next to him. “How long has your husband been taking it?”

  She gazed at him through red-rimmed eyes. “Six years.”

  “Oy,” Vinny said.

  “Vinny!” If I could have flicked him on the head, I would have. We all knew it was bad. She didn’t need to hear it from him.

  What I wanted to know was, “What’s Sunny’s husband been doing for the last six years?”

  Tia shook her head. “I don’t know, but I saw him tonight.”

  “Here?” Lucien asked. “In Eternal Life Estates?”

  She nodded. “While I was waiting on the porch. But he didn’t go home.”

  “Where’d he go?” I asked, as we pulled up to Bliss’s house, ready to spring into action. By the expression on Tia’s face, I already knew.

  “I love when a plan comes together,” Vinny said, cocking his shotguns like a Wild West cowboy.

  “You call this a plan?” I asked, on Lucien’s heels.

  Oh sure, we had Bliss and Gaston in one spot. “It also means we’re about to barge in on a pissed-off weretiger and a bloodsucking vampire—no offense, sweetie.”

  “None taken,” he said, as we stalked to the front door, using the dense foliage as coverage. “I think our biggest consideration is that I’m still weak.”

  “And I can’t shift,” I said, “not so soon after interrogating.”

  Lucien gave me a long, concerned look as we waited for Vinny and Tia.

  I held up my hands. “Hey, I can’t change my nature.”

  He should know that by now.

  “Here, babe,” Vinny said, handing Tia a shotgun.

  Oh yeah. That was a good idea.

  “Ready?” Lucien murmured, right before he rushed the door and kicked it in.

  I sprinted after him with Vinny on my heels.

  By the time I got there, Lucien was locked in combat with a white-haired vampire. In the split second it took for me to assess the situation, Bliss tackled me from behind.

  My head smacked the ceramic floor and my vision swam.

  Yip-yip-yip!

  I turned over to see Chi-Chi launch herself at Bliss’s neck. The tiger slapped the dog away. She yelped as she slammed against the wall, but it was enough time for me to unsheathe my dagger. It sliced Bliss across the chest and she roared.

  Bliss shifted, lowering her head as tiger fur raced down her back.

  Vinny fired his shotgun, blowing Gaston off of Lucien. I stood, wiping blood out of my eyes.

  Gaston hissed, fangs bared. Lucien was pale and bloody. He launched himself at the white-haired vampire, but Gaston dodged, tossing Vinny through the front window. His body smashed through the glass.

  “Heather!” Tia screamed as Bliss readied to pounce.

  I fired my pistol once. Twice. My silver bullets didn’t even slow her down. The wounded tiger kept coming. She was after blood now and there was nothing I could do.

  Vinny was out. Lucien was locked in his own life-or-death battle. Tia crouched in the corner.

  “Tia!” I screamed as Bliss landed on me like a two-ton brick. I pulled out my lucky boot knife, sinking it into her chest as she hit me. She kept coming. I hit the floor, rolling with her to keep her from taking out my neck, but it was just a matter of time. Only seconds.

  My fingers gripped her coarse fur. It felt like time slowed as her sinewy muscles moved under my hands. She was a killing machine.

  I waited for the end as blood spurted across my face. At first, I thought it was mine and I marveled at how I didn’t even feel any pain.

  The tiger roared and fell backward. A large brown wolf had it by the neck.

  I shot Bliss with my stun gun and reached for the last thing I had—mace—for all the good it would do us.

  But Tia had the tiger in a death bite. Blood poured from the animal’s neck.

  “E-yah!” I turned just in time to see a bloody Vinny move up behind Gaston and stake the vampire in the back with a broken windowpane.

  I stood for a moment, in shock, as Vinny helped Lucien pick his way through the pulpy mess formerly known as Gaston. Meanwhile Tia was using the tiger for a chew toy. I wiped my dagger on the curtains and resheathed it.

  Yip-yip-yip!

  “You okay, Sparky?” I scooped up Chi-Chi and together we surveyed the damage. Someone was going to need the services of about a dozen Vinnys in French maid costumes to clean up this place.

  Gaston was clearly no more, which was a shame. I would have liked some answers. Then I saw a hairy tiger paw twitch.

  “Tia, hold back.”

  The werewolf growled.

  “Oh yeah, now you get pushy.”

  “What is it?” Lucien asked behind me.

  “I think Bliss is alive.”

  Between Lucien, Vinny, and me, we managed to tempt Tia away from her prey. Actually, it was Chi-Chi’s idea. We used the steaks from the refrigerator, on a white plate for presentation. Tia was a sucker for white.

  Bliss shifted back to human faster than any of us expected, but she was still weak enough that we managed to handcuff her to a pole in her garage.

  I leaned against a silver Bentley while we waited for the Vampire Council police to arrive.

  Bliss was blubbering by this time, although more for her vampire lover, it seemed, than for herself.

  “He was the only man who ever loved me,” she sobbed, clutching the housedress we’d thrown around her.

  I almost felt sorry for her.

  Almost.

  Gaston was not only a drug dealer, he was also a cheat.

  “He had a wife,” I reminded her.

  “He didn’t love them!” she wailed. “He was impulsive. He didn’t mean to marry them!”

  Say what? “Exactly how many wives are we talking about?”

  “Only eight”—she sniffled—“mostly in Europe.”

  “Busy g
uy,” Vinny said, feeding Chi-Chi yet another slice of steak.

  She stared off dreamily. “He was supposed to take me to Italy next month.”

  I snorted. “Watch out for blue pills.”

  “You might not be too far off,” Lucien mused. “What if he put them to sleep while he was gone?”

  “That’s sick,” I said.

  “Makes cheating easier if wifey doesn’t know you’re gone. We’ll have to investigate further, but I’ll bet some of these women are literally sleeping their lives away.”

  “You’d think they’d know.” I’d know if I was married to a seven-time bigamist. I hoped. I felt my gaze harden as Tia strolled up to the weeping tiger.

  Blood streaked her arms and she wore a pale pink dressing gown Vinny had found in one of the closets. “My Thomas found out about the drug, didn’t he?”

  “He was high and mighty about it. He wanted to spill the whole thing to shareholders. Gaston didn’t kill him,” she said, as if that made a difference.

  “No, he just put him to sleep,” I said.

  “What are the side effects?” Tia demanded. “How do I bring him back?”

  “I don’t know. You could ask Gaston but you killed him!” Bliss collapsed into another round of sobbing.

  That’s when I knew. “Sunny figured it out, didn’t she?”

  Bliss sniffled. “The bitch. She couldn’t just be happy being one of his wives. She had to be his only wife.”

  “Did she know you were sleeping with him?” Wild guess, but I wasn’t about to try to enter her mind right now.

  “No,” she gulped, “but Sunny was going to tell about his other wives. She was going to bring in her wolf pack. She told me and Francine all about it.” Her eyes were wild. “She was going to take him from me!”

  “So you killed her,” Lucien said.

  She nodded, gulping. “You don’t understand. I need a man. I have nothing. The damned dog has more than I do!”

  Chi-Chi growled.

  Damned straight.

  “The only money I had came from Nina,” she said.

  Right. “You mean from blackmailing Nina.”

  Who wasn’t blackmailing Nina?

  Bliss shrugged. “She had the money. And she’s a slut.”

  Err ... pot calling kettle?

  “Sunny’s husband, Gaston. He was giving you money, wasn’t he?” asked Lucien.

  Bliss stiffened. “He could afford it.”

  Maybe. Still, “You didn’t love him. You just needed a sugar daddy.”

  “I loved him!” she wailed. “And I hated Sunny.”

  “How’d you kill her?” Lucien demanded.

  She cowered, trapped.

  “You already told us you did it, Bliss,” I reminded her. I could see how getting clocked with an ornate medieval chandelier would kill Sunny. But how had Bliss nailed her with it?

  I could see her making her decision. Finally she relented. “I snuck in while she was out mooning over that damned gardener. It didn’t take long to cut the links on the chandelier.” She gave a sullen look. “I only had to knock it enough to spin free of the broken link for it to fall. I hated that god-awful piece of junk. He gave it to her. She didn’t deserve anything from him. She didn’t even see it coming.” Tears welled in her eyes. “Now he’s never coming back.”

  I just hoped Tia’s husband could.

  CHAPTER 10

  The werewolves arrived that morning. The war was off, which was great because my pack seemed more interested in raiding our kitchen than fighting. The vampires would arrive tonight.

  Bliss was taken into custody by her own people, which I thought was horse pucky until Finnegan told me what they’d probably do to her. It wasn’t pretty, but at least she’d live. Unlike Sunny.

  That left Chi-Chi the Chihuahua at loose ends. I offered to take her in if she was willing to give up life on Mysteria Lane. From her enthusiastic wriggling, I figured she was up for the challenge.

  We retreated back to the Duke house to wait for representatives from the Vampire Council. Nina sent her chef over to help out, which was pretty nice of her, all things considered.

  He’d loaded the granite countertops with meat pies, steak tartar and roasted venison. I slipped a bite to Chi-Chi and wondered if I should break it to the cook that we did eat other things besides meat. You know what, though? The guy looked happy. He was actually getting to cook for once, so I left him to it.

  Tia had skipped her husband’s pill that morning and had reported no results yet. She planned to sit with him all day, to see if she could detect a change.

  I’d spent as much time as I could that morning interrogating Francine and Nina, just to make sure there wasn’t anything we’d missed. Nina had been telling the truth all along. Good for her. And it turned out Francine was bald as a bat under that expensive brunette wig.

  I insisted she remove it for the remainder of our questioning.

  None of the residents of Mysteria Lane would be any wiser. But I’d sure enjoyed it.

  I managed a quick “hello” with Lucien when he woke up for the evening. I made sure to show him exactly why I was so glad we’d survived the night before. He returned the favor.

  Twice.

  I love it when the Vampire Council runs late.

  But they eventually arrived. More’s the pity. And went into closed meetings with Finnegan and our pack elders.

  The pack used it as an excuse to enjoy an eighteenth course, courtesy of Nina’s chef. I swear if he ever wanted to leave her, he’d have his choice of about thirty slavering Topanga Pack members, ready to bow at his command.

  Good food could do that to a wolf.

  Vinny plucked a beef skewer off a silver tray and leaned up against the counter next to me. “Tia’s husband woke up.”

  I smiled. “Fantastic. When?”

  “About ten minutes ago. She skipped his evening meds. I helped her prop him up enough for a drink.”

  “Good for her.”

  “I’ll say. They’re even louder than you two.”

  “Oh, shut up.”

  “I ran like a girl.”

  I smacked him on the arm, not really meaning it. I wished Lucien would get back soon. No telling how much time we’d have before he had to be on to his next assignment.

  The mere thought of it made my stomach hollow.

  Suck it up, McPhee.

  I’d known this moment would come. I couldn’t have Lucien forever, even if I wanted it.

  And boy, did I want it.

  The Vampire Council and the wolf elders made it back to the house alive, which was a good sign.

  Finnegan slapped me on the back so hard he almost knocked the wind out of me. “The war is off,” he announced to the crowd at large. “Thanks to your hard work,” he added under his breath.

  Sure. Nothing like accolades for a job well done.

  Oh, who was I kidding? I didn’t need praise. I had a happy ending.

  At least until, “Hi, Lucien.” The corners of my mouth turned up as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on the head.

  We ignored the catcalls from my pack mates.

  Yeah, yeah.

  McPhee was smiling. McPhee was smitten.

  McPhee was in love.

  Damn it all.

  I vowed to keep my pride. I’d let him go when the time came. I just hoped it wouldn’t be tonight.

  “Heather,” he said into my hair, “we need to talk.”

  Damn.

  I felt my smile falter. “Sure. Whatever you say.”

  He led me out of the packed kitchen and upstairs to his room.

  Hoo-boy. To be dumped in the same spot where we’d made love this evening. I could hardly wait. Then again, maybe this was for the best. I’d know it was over. We’d make a clean break. I could do this.

  I let out a hard breath.

  This was worse than preparing for a fight.

  “Heather.” Lucien held my hand, his expression earnest. Curse him and his amazing body
and his gorgeous lips and the way he made me feel hot even now when I knew he was about to hightail it out of town.

  “Look,” I said, unable to stand it. “I know you have to leave. You said it before we ever got involved.”

  It wasn’t his fault.

  It was mine for being stupid enough to fall for him.

  “I do have to leave,” he said, in that same infuriatingly calm tone.

  I was so tempted to use my truth powers on him. My chin lowered and I stopped myself. What was the point? I already knew he was heading out for the next assignment.

  Damn the man. Would it kill him to be a little upset about this? Meanwhile my insides felt like they’d turned to glue.

  “I’m heading down to New Orleans,” he said, oblivious. “We’re looking into a coven of voodoo mambos turned vampire.”

  “Sounds lovely,” I said, just trying to make it through the conversation with my pride intact. In a second, I was going to cry.

  He caressed my cheek, which made it worse.

  Could we just get to the dumping part?

  “It will be amazing,” he said.

  “I’m sure,” I agreed.

  “If you join me,” he added.

  “What?”

  He looked vulnerable all of a sudden. “I could use a were who can make people tell the truth.”

  Was he actually saying what I thought he was saying? “I’m not even sure it works on vampires.”

  “Ask me if I care.”

  I couldn’t leave with him. I didn’t quite know why, but I knew there was a reason it had never occurred to me. “You can do this on your own,” I said, making complete sense.

  “It wouldn’t be half as much fun,” he said playfully.

  Maybe so, but, “My pack needs me.”

  “You can fly back home if they do.”

  I tangled my hands in my lap. “Finnegan would never let me go.”

  He untangled them. “I made it part of our negotiations this evening.”

  “So you knew—”

  “I think I’ve known all along.” He brushed his lips over mine. “Go with me, Heather. Let’s see where this leads.”

  I pulled back, but not so far as to unwrap my hands from his. “It can’t be this easy,” I said, trying to reason with him.

  Nothing in my life had ever been this easy.