Reawakened Secrets

by Denae, Mari

  Shit, Adam and his ridiculous nicknames. “No, I . . . I mean, yes, I’m ready for tomorrow.” I took a deep breath. I needed to calm the fuck down. I was still at work after all. “I wanted to talk to you about one of your patients, Alice Sinclair.”

  “Ah, I should have known you had a reason for being here on your day off. You want in on Sleeping Beauty’s case.” He glanced up from the chart in his hand and nodded an acknowledgement to Jackson, who stood off to the side behind me.

  “I just want to know how you think she’s doing,” I said. “Her chart looks good, but her recovery has been slow. I would be all over this case, but I have a conflict of interest. Uhmm, she’s a friend of mine.”

  “Well, well, I’ve never known you to have friends. I guess you learn something new every day.”

  Normally, I appreciated Adam’s twisted sense of humor. However, with Jackson looking over my shoulder it was beyond embarrassing.

  “Just more proof you don’t know everything. Besides, we’ve shared some good times. Don’t you consider me a friend, Adam?” I joked.

  Adam’s narrowed eyes snapped up from the chart. “Uhmm hmmm, well, I expect Aurora-”

  “Her name is Alice.”

  “Pardon me, what?” Adam asked even though he was once again engrossed in his patient’s chart.

  “I said, her name is Alice, and I don’t think she likes being called Sleeping Beauty.”

  “Oh, Alice, right. Well, you know I can’t give you specifics unless you’re family. Other than her total lack of a sense of humor, your friend seems to be doing fine.”

  “Look Adam, she’s my best friend. I know you can’t help it, but can you please try to be a little less . . . like yourself?”

  “Less like myself?”

  “Yeah, you know—a little less A-holey?” Shit, that is really what I just said to my boss. Please God, let him think the ‘A’ stands for Adam. I tensed, dreading the thought of apologizing in front of Jackson.

  Adam’s mouth relaxed into a smile. “Take it easy, Dozer. Considering she can’t remember feeling anything for the last ten years, a little annoyance won’t kill her. Mental stimulation is the best medicine I can prescribe.”

  “If you mess with Alice, I won’t do anything to save you.”

  A strangled noise, the closest thing to laughter I’d ever heard, escaped Adam’s mouth. “Is that supposed to be a threat? You’re going to sic Princess Barbie on me?”

  “Don’t let the blonde hair fool you. She’s tougher than you think,” I warned.

  He looked skeptical. “Really? Coming from you, that means something, Dozer, but she looks more like a sugar-coated marshmallow to me. Either way, she’s headed for a full recovery. Now, if you’re done, I should go check on Aurora. You go home and rest up. We have a big day tomorrow.”

  I rolled my eyes and laughed. It was better to let it go. Alice would have no problem dealing with Adam. My laughter died the instant Jackson cleared his throat behind me. With no other choice, I turned to face him and the elevator.

  “What was that about, Claire?”

  “Alice.”

  “Is that all? It looked like a little more than that to me.”

  “Well, you taught me the hard way that things aren’t always what they seem.” There were a few heartbreaking beats of silence before he responded.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t waste your time. Just leave me alone.” I adjusted my purse strap on my shoulder and headed for the elevator.

  “Wait,” Jack fell into step behind me. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I want it anyway. I want the opportunity to make things right between us. The way they’re supposed to be.”

  I sucked in a breath and turned to and face him. “How dare you presume to know how things are supposed to be between us? You don’t know me anymore.”

  “You’re wrong. I may not know the details of the last ten years, but I’ll always know you, baby.”

  “Don’t,” I warned. “Baby” was the last thing I wanted him to call me ever. Besides, Jackson had no idea what he was talking about. Everything that had happened changed me in ways he would never understand. I turned my back on him and stared at the elevator doors, willing them to open.

  Jackson came to stand right behind me. I felt his warm breath caress my neck as he whispered in my ear. “I know you’re smart, kind, and impulsive. I know you’re an overachieving perfectionist who’s just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. Most importantly, I know you don’t let very many people close to you, but once you do its forever.”

  He grabbed my arms and forced me to face him. Damn it, I could already feel myself falling for his bullshit. God knows I had never been able to resist before.

  “I’m not sure what it will take, but I do know you’re generous enough to forgive me eventually, Claire. I’ll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust. So you’d better get used to seeing me around.”

  “No,” I whispered.

  “Yes,” he replied.

  Despite my best efforts, he stirred feelings more potent than anger. I closed my eyes against the onslaught of the pleading, turquoise pools of emotion and the way his words made me melt from the inside out. There was no way he could mean that the way it sounded. I couldn’t afford to let my weakness for him get the best of me. Not when I had so much to lose. Breathe, Claire, in and out.

  “What’s this really about? Are you worried I’ll tell Alice what happened? I won’t.” That had to be it. It was the only thing that made sense. He was afraid I would ruin things between them.

  The warm, inviting expression on his face evaporated. His jaw clenched, and his eyes glinted coolly in the light. For the first time, he looked like the most vivid image I had of him in my head. He looked like Jack, the boy I had enjoyed provoking out of his serious, Montgomery façade. The boy I had loved beyond reason and common sense. The deep breath he took was visible, and I tried to hide the pleasure his irritation gave me. What can I say. Old habits die hard.

  Back in control he said, “This is only about you and me. Alice is going to learn the truth. It’s inevitable. The sooner the better as far as I’m concerned. I’m done lying—to everyone, especially myself.”

  “Are you crazy? We can’t risk her health to tell her about something that happened once and will never happen again,” I practically shrieked.

  His lids lowered and in a soft rumble he asked, “Are you sure about that?”

  “Yes.” Maybe?

  Damn, Alice meant the world to me, but she was hardly the most important reason I couldn’t afford to fuck this up. Panic seized me at the thought of all my secrets coming to light. I knew exactly how Alice and Jackson would feel about me then. Was that also inevitable now? That thought sapped every ounce of fight I had left. Finally, the elevator doors opened.

  “Just leave me the hell alone,” I pleaded as I rushed into my much needed sanctuary. I looked up as I pushed the button for the lobby, afraid he would follow. His hands were back in his pockets, and his lips slowly twisted into a smirk as the doors closed.

  I leaned against the elevator wall, clutching at the painful heat spreading through my chest. I gasped in and out, trying, with limited success, to fill my lungs with air. Stopping the flood of tears was well past being a lost cause. I had to be the biggest idiot in the world not to realize this day would come. It only made sense he would come home eventually. Of course he would be by Alice’s side. Ten years ago, I had done the best I could, given the circumstances, but keeping the truth from them now was wrong. If there was a price for Alice’s recovery, it was karmic justice that I would be the one to pay it.

  The drive home gave me time to pull myself together. I wiped at my swollen eyes and hoped I didn’t look too bad. The twinkling stars and the porch light guided my way. I unlocked the door to our little house as quietly as possible. I should have known my mom would be waiting for me. In my rush to get to the hospital, I’d forgotten to leave a note. I could fee
l her concern before the door was even closed. It was not like me to disappear without a word.

  “Claire, what happened, honey? Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine,” I lied. “I have some really good news. Alice is awake, and she’s back. It looks like she’s going to make a full recovery. I just left her at the hospital.”

  “Oh, sweetheart, that’s wonderful! But then, why do you look so awful?” I could see the second it dawned on her. Her demeanor changed from concern to the fierce protector only a mother can be. She said just one word: “Jackson.”

  In spite of my determination to hold it together, I could only nod because the tears were back. I ran to her, desperate for the understanding of the one person who would know what their return really meant.

  With her arms still wrapped around me, we walked to my bedroom. She wiped away my tears and told me everything was going to be fine. We both knew that wasn’t true. Just like I knew she was remembering the last time she’d seen me cry. It was ten years ago. The cause then, as now, was Jackson Montgomery.

  I got to live in their fairytale world for seventeen years. Alice and Jackson had supplied my visitor’s pass, at least until I’d betrayed my best friend, and she’d ended up in a coma. Now they were back, and I would have to be stronger than I’d ever been. I had to find a way to do what’s right even if it meant losing everything. The worst part was knowing, no matter what happened next, I deserved every second of misery coming my way.

  10 Years Ago

  IT WAS THE first weekend after high school graduation. I’m sure there was an unlimited supply of parties going on, but I was trapped into going to Jackson Montgomery’s. Even the thought of it caused my heart to free-fall to the pit of my stomach. How could I make Alice understand that I didn’t fit where she did so perfectly? The fact that Jackson hadn’t invited me was of no concern to her at all.

  “Don’t be silly, Claire. We’ve been friends forever. Of course you’re invited, too,” she said.

  I knew it wasn’t true. Jackson had been increasingly distant since that day at the lake. At first, I thought it was just my imagination. Why would he avoid me? But he never seemed to be with Alice when I was, and we didn’t spend time alone anymore. Did it embarrass him that I was a year younger, even though I’d graduated with them? Or had he finally noticed how much being near him made me tremble, and that my eyes tracked his every move no matter how hard I tried not to?

  Whatever the cause, my pride would not allow me to ask what I’d done wrong, and my pain would not allow me to acknowledge the loss. Alice was too preoccupied planning their future to notice. She kept reminding me how busy Jackson was, getting ready for college and the official start of his life-long internship in his family empire. She didn’t realize, as I did, that he wasn’t too busy for her—just me.

  I studied her as she primped and applied her make-up. Alice was absolute perfection. She didn’t need mascara or eye shadow to enhance her beauty. My heart constricted painfully as the diamond studs she placed in her ears caught the light. My hand clutched the locket hidden in my pocket.

  They were both presents from Jackson. I was surprised when he’d handed a small box to both Alice and me after our high school graduation ceremony. I remembered the prick of tears when I first traced the delicate platinum, heart-shaped charm. He had even taken the time to fill it with glorious childhood memories. On one side was a picture of the three of us with our arms wrapped around each other, and on the other, just Jackson and me with our heads close together as we smiled at each other. It was simple yet beautiful and exactly what I needed to calm my fears of losing them both.

  I’d wanted to launch myself at him and never let go. At least I did until I looked up. Jackson was already locked in Alice’s arms, returning her hug, and her diamond earrings twinkled in her hand wrapped around his neck. Our eyes met over Alice’s shoulder, and I was surprised to see the beautiful turquoise depths clouded over with the same sadness swirling inside me.

  He had chosen gifts that suited both of us. It was sweet and thoughtful, but I hadn’t been able to do more than murmur, “Thanks.” Why did Jack giving Alice diamonds caused my happiness to disintegrate? I looked up at Alice again, and our eyes clashed in the mirror.

  “Aren’t you going to get ready?” she asked, without turning around.

  I looked down at my button-up tank top, jean shorts, and flip flops, then back to Alice wearing a dark blue mini-skirt, short-sleeved cashmere sweater, and high heels. I was uncomfortably aware of what I looked like in comparison, but it only made me more determined not to change. Besides, it was summertime, it was hot, and I sure as hell wasn’t trying to impress anybody.

  “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” At the lift of her meticulously sculpted brows, I said, “Take it or leave it. It’s not like I want to go anyway.”

  “You could at least wear the locket Jackson gave you.”

  “Oh, I forgot it,” I said, looking away from the mirror.

  Alice sighed and started to put on the final touch of lip gloss. “Fine, brat. I swear you can be so stubborn. I just need one last night with the three of us together. I don’t . . . things are changing, and I need you there. Is that too much to ask?”

  She sounded so sad. I felt bad for lying and giving her a hard time. I would do anything for her, and she knew it. I walked to her side, placed my arm across her shoulders, and leaned my head against hers. We stared at each other in the mirror again. I smiled and was happy to see her do the same.

  “I am yours to command, Ms. Sinclair. You look beautiful, by the way.”

  “And you look sexy, brat.”

  “Whatever, let’s go . . . party,” I said, rolling my eyes.

  “C’mon, party animal,” she said with a laugh.

  After an hour at Jackson’s house, I’d already reached my limit for all the bullshit that comes with the rich and entitled. Not one classmate was there, not that I missed any of them. Alice and Jackson were the only people I knew. They made a striking pair, a real-life Barbie and Ken, complete with the mansion. It was just my bad luck they were both too busy having fun with their other friends to waste time entertaining me. Jackson caught me staring, and my heart pounded furiously before I dragged my eyes away.

  He ignored me all night unless I was talking to someone else. Then he was quick to find a reason to get their attention and escort them away. I couldn’t help but notice the girls looked through me, while the guys were happy to look a little too much. How Jackson and Alice considered these uppity bitches and horny assholes friends was beyond me.

  I was so done with this high school shit. I would spend my summer interning at a hospital instead of traipsing across Europe. I would be planning my college courses instead of scheming to bag a rich fiancé. I didn’t belong here, and I never would. So where did that leave my friendship with Alice and Jackson? I could never be done with them. I loved them both too much. All my shortcomings were hardly their fault. If I was being generous about this latest disaster of a night, I would admit I was partially at fault for dressing like a hillbilly. But I was not in the mood to be generous, and I was ready to go.

  There wasn’t enough beer in the whole state, let alone this backyard oasis, to make me stay much longer. When one of the drunken idiots came over and spilled his drink on my top as he tried to feel me up, I was pushed past my limit. He would never dare treat Alice this way, but I was always the easy target.

  “Touch me again and I’ll break each one of your useless, privileged fingers, asshole.”

  “Oh, come on, baby,” he snickered as I stalked away.

  I told Alice I wasn’t feeling well and I would get a ride home. I didn’t want to ruin the party for her with an early end to her night. Besides, she was exactly where she wanted to be: by Jackson’s side. I couldn’t look at him or even say good-bye. My head had started to spin, and just thinking about him made my chest hurt. I had to get out of there before I did something stupid—really, really stupid. I rushed into the ho
use from the pool area to search for a phone to call a cab.

  “Looking for something?” a familiar voice asked just over my shoulder.

  I spun around, surprised to see Jackson lounging in the doorway of the study.

  “Don’t worry, I wasn’t casing the joint. I just need a phone so I can leave. Don’t rich people have phones?”

  “Are you okay? Do you need me to get you a dry shirt?”

  Well, this was just perfect. You’d think I’d entered a wet T-shirt contest the way he was looking at me. I finally snapped. How dare he treat me this way when he’s supposed to be my friend? He wanted nothing to do with me anymore and it was tearing me apart.

  “Don’t bother, you stupid jerk. I’m used to cheap beer and losers like your friends out there. I was actually thinking about taking my shirt off altogether. What do you think, Mr. Montgomery? It’s awfully hot.”

  His hand jerked, twisting the knob before he walked into the room and slammed the door behind him. “What are you talking about? Have you completely lost your mind?”

  “No. I’m just trying to make it easier for you to keep treating me like trash. I’m not worth a minute of your time anymore. I’m not good enough to be invited to your party. Oh, and forget about talking to your stupid friends. I bet there’s something I am good for, right? Most of the guys here seem to think so.”

  Damn it! I wish I knew how to be sexy or alluring. Just get naked. Naked should work, right? I plastered a smile on my face and started to unbutton my shirt. Maybe I was losing my mind, but I had his attention now, and the beer I downed earlier was making me brave, or stupid.

  “Knock it off, Claire. You’re being ridiculous.”

  My shirt hit the floor. Jackson swallowed and clenched his hands at his side. Probably so he won’t wring my neck, I mused. The quivering lace of my bra was the only sign of my nervousness. I can do this. According to everyone at school, I’m nothing but a slut anyway. I walked toward him, my eyes never leaving his face. I fooled myself into thinking I could see hunger in his eyes and a desire that matched my own.