False Perceptions

by Michelle Heard

  “Michael!” Hayden’s shout is the first thing I hear when the ringing in my ears subsides.

  The enemy opens gunfire on us, and we all push past the pain tearing through us to get to cover behind a rock.

  Hayden falls next to me, his shoulder slamming into the rock. Returning fire, he shouts, “Michael!”

  “Where’s Mike?” I ask once I’ve made sure Axel and Max are okay, where they’re taking cover not too far from us.

  “Is he dead?” Axel shouts. “Are we dead?”

  “Calm down,” Max says, his speech slurring as he checks Axel’s head. “Fuck, you’ve got a piece of metal stuck behind your ear.”

  Taking a deep breath, I look at each of my remaining men. This is bad, really motherfucking bad.

  I tap Hayden on the shoulder to get his attention. When he looks at me, his face is covered in black soot, with streaks of blood.

  I tap my ear. “Can you hear me?”

  Hayden shakes his head, then says loudly, “It comes and goes.”

  I make sure he’s looking at me. “Where’s Mike?”

  For the first time since I’ve started working with Hayden, he looks like he’s about to give up.

  He’s the strongest man I know.

  “Mike’s…” He takes a breath and doesn’t even duck when a bullet hits close to his head.

  I yank him toward me, so he’s completely behind the rocks.

  “Mike’s…,” he says as if he can’t believe it. “I lost him.”

  Using my good leg, I push myself up and return fire while at the same time searching for any sign of Mike.

  Tapping Hayden on the shoulder again to get his eyes on my face, I say, “I’m going back for Mike. You, Axel, and Max keep hauling ass. I’ll catch up with you.”

  Hayden shakes his head hard, a grim look settling on his face.

  “I’m not fucking leaving without you,” he grinds the words out.

  “Take Max and Axel and fall back.” When Hayden glares at me, I spit out, “That’s a fucking order.”

  “Don’t do this,” he whispers, and it guts me to make him leave, but I have to. Hayden has to make it home to Evie.

  “Go, Hayden,” I beg as the enemy gets closer.

  “Don’t fucking do this,” Hayden says louder, and I can see he’s getting ready to fight me.

  “I’m sorry, Hayden,” I say as I grab his shoulder.

  Our eyes lock as he asks, “For what?”

  “For not telling you sooner that I love you,” I reply. “I have to do this. I’m going to draw the fuckers away from you and see if I can get to Mike. You’re in charge now. Get your remaining men to safety.”

  Darting up, I open fire. Hayden grabs my pack, and I move quickly to slip free of it. Before he can reach for me again, I jump up on the rock and start to make my way back to Mike.

  “Dave!” Hayden shouts, desperation clouding his voice.

  I take out a nearby tango and grind a curse out as my men return fire from behind me, trying to cover my ass.

  As I slam into the side of a rock, I glance back at them. Catching Axel’s eye, I shout, “Get Hayden and Max out of here!”

  Luckily Axel hears me over the gunfire and the second he grabs Hayden, I let out a sigh of relief.

  “Dave!” Hayden yells, but I don’t look back. I focus on searching for Mike. “No! We’re not fucking leaving him.”

  I grind the emotion away as I hear Hayden’s desperate pleas. I have to do this. I can’t leave one of my men behind.

  Climbing up the rocks, a bullet slams into my shin. I sink to my knees, and another round buries itself in my left shoulder. Raising my gun, two more rounds tear into my chest.

  A sound gurgles up my throat, a mixture of blood and air.

  My body slumps as Hayden reaches me. He doesn’t hesitate as he grabs hold of me, throwing me over his shoulder.

  The ground blurs beneath me as Hayden jumps over rocks, moving fast. Only once he’s cleared a good mile does he stop and lower me to the ground. His hands work to inspect the wounds.

  Another gurgling sound makes Hayden freeze. His eyes meet mine, and it’s tearing me up to see the fear in his eyes.

  I can’t get any words past the blood, and as my vision starts to blur, Hayden grabs hold of my neck and presses his forehead to mine.

  “Love you, Dave. So fucking much.”

  I let out a gargling chuckle as a tear slips free from my eye.

  Keeping my eyes locked with Hayden, I wish I had told him that he’s the only father I’ve ever known.

  CHAPTER 16

  AXEL

  “Fucking cursed.” I spit the words out mixed with blood and stones. Max stays behind me as I run.

  Reaching for the piece of metal stuck behind my fucking ear, Max slaps my hand away, giving me a low growl from behind.

  I keep my sights on Hayden as he hauls ass through the trees and over rocks with Dave over his shoulder.

  When we’ve finally put some distance between the motherfuckers and us, Hayden stops and lowers Dave to the ground.

  I sag down behind a log and Max drops next to me. How he kept up God only knows. His right leg is fucked. A sharp piece of shrapnel is buried in his thigh.

  A garbled sound makes my eyes snap to Dave. The sound is sharp in my ears as I watch a deathly rattle leave his bloody lips.

  A heavy blanket of sorrow falls over us. Hayden sinks back on his ass, his face torn with grief.

  First Mike, now Dave.

  We’re all gonna die in this godforsaken country.

  “Move,” Max slurs as he grabs hold of my arm.

  I let him drag me up. Hayden gently removes Dave’s dog tags and hangs it around his own neck. He slowly brushes his fingers over Dave’s eyes, closing them.

  “I’ll see you soon, Brother,” Hayden whispers, then he gets up and takes the lead.

  The trek from one hill to another goes slow, and it doesn’t feel like the fucking jungle is getting any closer.

  QRF should’ve been deployed by now.

  They’ll be here any minute.

  A whistling sound is the only warning we get before an RPG slams into a bunch of rocks to the left of us.

  Shrapnel, rock, and pieces of wood shoot into the air, raining down on us like a hellfire as we duck for cover.

  I load my last clip and search the area for hostiles. Max fires the first shot. He’s like a goddamn reaper out to rid the world of this scum.

  I keep firing until my last bullet, then reach for my Sig.

  Hayden stays low as he moves closer to us.

  “We have to get to the jungle. They’re taking us out one at a time.”

  We inch from rock to tree as bullets keep bouncing around us.

  Fight hard. Die hard.

  I keep thinking the words over and over as I move forward. Grabbing a grenade, I pull the pin and throw it as hard as I can. The blast offers us a moment of reprieve before the gunfire resumes.

  Gravel gives way beneath my feet, and before I can stop the momentum, I plunge down a steep embankment. I collide with a rock, and it shatters my left femur before I’m propelled forward and into another rock with painful force.

  Max crashes into a tree, groaning as he reaches for his rifle.

  I pull myself into a sitting position, holding my Sig to my chest. Looking down at my fucked-up leg, I know I won’t be able to run.

  I glance to my right where Hayden is pulling himself up. Part of his left sleeve has been ripped away, and a deep cut is oozing blood, dripping to the ground.

  I check my Sig, noting that I have four rounds left. I grab my last two grenades and place them on my lap.

  When Max crawls over to my side, I give him a bloody grin.

  “Go. Get your ass past the ravine and into the jungle,” I say.

  Max glances up at the hostiles making their way down to where we are, and as he looks back at me, he sees the two grenades.

  His eyes dart to mine, and I see the question.

  �
��My leg is fucked. You and Hayden can make it. Haul ass, and I’ll keep them back.”

  “No,” Max slurs.

  “Fuck that,” Hayden growls.

  Max grabs the grenades just in time as Hayden hauls my ass over his shoulder. The motherfucker is strong.

  Max walks sideways, keeping his sights on the enemy. I grab hold of his shoulder giving it a quick squeeze.

  We make it to the ravine, but Hayden’s legs are starting to buckle from my weight as we pass over a stream. I’m fucking impressed he made it this far with my added bulk.

  When we get to the jungle, he lowers me, trying not to jar my fucked leg as he helps me to stand.

  We’ve made it to the fucking jungle. Hell yeah!

  The relief is brief as another whistling sound accompanies an RPG, seconds before it hits.

  My balance is thrown off, and I stagger back against a tree. Sliding down, my ass hits the ground as I grab for my throat where a piece of shrapnel tore right through it.

  “Fuck,” Max slurs as he crawls to me. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

  I’ve never heard the man curse so much.

  My lips pull into a smile.

  “Fight hard.” The words are garbled.

  Hayden opens fire on tangos trying to give us some cover.

  Max’s eyes widen with rage. “I’ll fucking kill them all,” he slurs, a crazy look making him look fucking badass.

  “I’ll be seeing you, Brother,” I wheeze.

  “I’ll be seeing you, Brother,” he slurs, his bloodshot eyes swimming with tears.

  CHAPTER 17

  MAX

  Motherfucking fucking fuckers!

  I spin around and pull the pin from a grenade, launching it at the assholes. Not waiting, I pull the pin from the other one, throwing it. The explosions scatter the fucking cocksuckers like roaches.

  Shoving my last clip into my rifle, I go after them. No more running. I’m a motherfucking Navy SEAL. If I’m not going home, none of these fuckers are going home.

  A bullet rips into my leg, but I keep dragging the fucking limb behind me. I’m shot to pieces, torn to shreds, but I’m not dead.

  The only way these fuckers are stopping me is by killing me.

  “Motherfucking son of a bitch!” I yell as I put a round between the eyes of a roach. “Die, bastard.”

  I take them out one by one until my rifle clicks, then I grab my Sig, and I stand still in the open picking them off one at a time.

  Another bullet hits, but I hardly feel it.

  Hayden grabs me, dragging me down.

  “What the fuck are you doing? Have you lost your fucking mind?” he shouts.

  I stand on my knees, and growling I continue to wipe the plague out. That’s what these fuckers are – a fucking plague to humanity.

  The thud of blades in the air makes me glance up. Just as I see a Black Hawk swooping in and laying waste to roaches, a bullet slams into my chest.

  I fall back, my eyes never leaving the Black Hawk.

  Hawk.

  Fucking perfect that my namesake kills all the fuckers.

  Hayden positions himself in front of me, picking off the stragglers that manage to escape the piercing rounds from above.

  The calvary is here.

  The stench of death fills the air as I stare at the blue sky as the sun starts to rise.

  Breathe, Hawk.

  Fight hard.

  Don’t give up.

  For a moment everything goes black. I smile, thinking I’ll be seeing Mike, Dave, and Axel soon.

  “Open your fucking eyes,” Hayden shouts right in my face.

  I blink and grin at his ugly face.

  “You’re not so pretty anymore,” I slur.

  Hayden’s body jerks and he slumps down over my chest.

  “Get up,” I grind the words out. “Get up.”

  When he doesn’t move, a cry tears from my throat. No, not Hayden as well.

  “You’re a fucking eagle. Get your ass up.”

  I hear boots on the ground, running towards us and I raise my gun, ready to take out the fuckers.

  “Friendlies,” a medic shouts as he comes into view and sees my Sig. “We’re American.”

  “Help him. Help him first,” I slur.

  “Take it easy,” The medic says as he pulls Hayden off of me.

  Hayden’s face is pale as if all life has left it.

  When the medic moves to work on me, I point my Sig right at his face. “Help my fucking brother first,” I grind the words out.

  I forcefully suck in a breath of air as the medic finally listens and starts to work on Hayden.

  I drag in another breath of air when I see that Hayden is breathing.

  For a moment Hayden opens his eyes. He growls through the pain as he reaches for me. It’s only then that I let go of my gun and grab hold of Hayden’s hand.

  I drag in a wheezing breath, but it doesn’t fill my lungs.

  I stare at Hayden as his grip on my hand tightens.

  “Fight,” Hayden breathes. “Please.”

  I gasp, trying to get air into my drowning lungs.

  I fight to keep my eyes open.

  I fight to breathe.

  I fight because it’s all I know.

  CHAPTER 18

  HAYDEN

  A medic slides in the dirt as he falls next to Max.

  My eyes never leave him even though he stopped breathing.

  I cling to his hand, willing him to hold on.

  Help is here.

  Don’t fucking leave me alone.

  Fight, Brother.

  I don’t feel anything as the medic patches me up.

  There’s just Max.

  Max.

  “Max,” I grind out as the medic shoves a needle into his chest.

  “Max!” I shout with every bit of strength I have. “Fucking breathe!”

  Seconds. Seconds have become my enemy.

  I lost Mike in a second.

  I lost Dave in a second.

  I lost Axel in a second.

  Seconds tick, and anyone of them can be Max’s last.

  It’s only when an oxygen mask is placed over Max’s face that I realize now won’t be that second.

  My brother is still alive and fighting.

  CHAPTER 19

  HAYDEN

  It’s been six days since I’ve seen Max. We were brought to a military hospital in Texas.

  The bullet to my back kept me in bed for six days, but no more. Today I had enough. The nurse finally brought me a wheelchair when I threatened to walk there. As I wheel myself into Max’s room, my eyes lock on his face and only when I see him does the heaviness lift from my chest.

  Just like me, he looks a fucking mess. I was lucky that the bullets to my side and back didn’t hit anything vital and the gash on my arm just needed stitches.

  Max wasn’t so lucky. His right leg has been torn up by shrapnel and the bullet that hit just above his knee. The side of his face is all patched up, but the fact that he bit off half his tongue means he’ll have to go for speech therapy. The bullet that slammed into his chest hit his right lung and almost took him from me. The cavalry got to us just in time.

  But they were too late for Mike, Dave, and Axel.

  I position the chair next to his bed, and for a few minutes, we just look at each other. The unspeakable loss of our brothers hangs between us like a fog.

  Max widens his eyes as they start to tear up, where I let mine fall.

  “Badass,” I grumble.

  He shakes his head as his emotions win out, and a tear rolls into his hair.

  “I can’t stop hearing his last words,” Max slurs.

  I know he’s talking about Axel.

  Fuck, all their last words will carry me to my grave.

  “They died fighting,” I say, needing to hear the words myself. “It’s the only way for any of us to die. You know that.”

  “Mike,” Max grinds his name out. “Too young.”

  I nod because that�
��s the godawful truth.

  “And Dave,” Max whispers.

  I look up at the ceiling as I try to bite the raw grief back. I know it hasn’t fully hit me yet. When it does, I’m not sure I’ll be left standing.

  A nurse walks into the room and stops when she sees me. A look of understanding flashes over her face, and she quickly leaves, pulling the door shut behind her.

  “Who’s taking them home?” Max asks.

  I close my eyes as the thought of their funerals sink deep into my bones until it’s an aching pulse.

  “We will. I’ll get you moved home as well.”

  “Good.” Max starts to shake as he fights the emotions.

  “Thank you,” I say, locking my eyes on his.

  “For what?” he grinds out.

  “For fighting.” I place my hand on his shoulder as the tears spill down my cheeks. “For staying with me. I know it would’ve been easier to go with them.”

  “No such thing as easy,” he whispers.

  “Yeah, not anymore. Not without our brothers.”

  “I’m done,” he grinds the words out again, and I’m starting to pick up that it’s easier for him to talk that way. There’s a long road of recovery ahead for Max.

  Honestly, I don’t blame him for wanting to retire. I’ve been thinking the same thing.

  “It won’t be the same without them,” I say, nodding that I totally agree with being done. “It’s time to retire.”

  Standing in front of my apartment, everything feels wrong. I was in such a hurry to get home, that I didn’t stop to think that it isn’t home anymore.

  How can anything ever feel like home again without my brothers?

  I unlock the door and pushing it open, I let out a breath when silence greets me. Evie’s not here. It will give me some time to get my shit together. I told command not to call her. She doesn’t know what happened. This is something I need to tell her face to face. It’s going to be fucking hard telling my daughter that Mike, Dave, and Axel are gone.

  I drop my keys on the coffee table and stand in the middle of the living room.