Rockstar's Girl (Decoy Series book 2)

by Fisher, K. T

  Rockstar's

  Girl

  written by K.T. Fisher

  Rockstar's Girl

  (Book 2 in the Decoy Series)

  Copyright @2013 Kellie Fisher

  Cover art @2013 CT COVER CREATIONS

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  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any actual persons living or dead, businesses and events or locales are entirely coincidental.dpg

  A message from K.T.Fisher

  Before I say anything I just want to say a big thank you to my family for dealing with me while I was writing this book. The many times I have been busy writing and thinking constantly about what to write next. You guys are my rock and I love you all.

  I also want to thank all my readers! You guys are awesome! When I wrote Rockstar Daddy I didn't think it would sell as well as it did. I love writing so I just wrote it as a hobby and you all turned my dream into a reality and I thank you so much. I loved writing Rockstar's Girl and I hope you all love reading it.

  Another big thank you to my proof readers. You know who you are. Without you my book wouldn't be as great as it is and I really thank you a lot.

  Lastly I think we can all clap for Clarise Tan who designed Rockstar Daddy's new cover and also Rockstar's Girl's wonderful cover. I think I speak for everyone when I say they are beautiful.

  Chapter 1

  ~Kendal~

  The drive back home was quiet. Maisy drove me home whilst I just sat there staring out of the window. I've sent an apology text to Sophie, and she assures me everything is fine. She wants me and Jax to sort everything out and wishes me luck. When I reply back, I tell her to stop thinking about me and enjoy her honeymoon. She shouldn't be worrying about me. I feel terrible for what has just happened at her house, the day after her wedding and just before she leaves for her honeymoon.

  I say my thanks to Maisy and wave goodbye to her as she gets into Jessica's car. Jessica is driving her back to Sophie's so she can get her car, I appreciate what they're doing to help me. They wanted to stay, but I just want to be alone. Luckily my mum has just text to ask if she can have Finley over for a little while longer.

  When I walk in my front door, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the over sized mirror in the hallway. Oh wow, I look a mess. My face is all wet and red from the amount of crying. I can't believe Jax held me down on the floor like that. I wanted to tell him in private. Then he could have met Finley, but he made me shout the truth at him instead. In front of everyone! Jax is probably so angry at me that he never wants to see me again. I can't blame him, but I hope he still wants to see Finley. A good bath is what I need, so I make my way upstairs and hope it can calm me down.

  After a wonderful hot and steamy bath, that was hot enough to turn my skin red, I do feel a little better. While I was relaxing I ran over everything that had happened yesterday and this morning. I tried to not think of that kiss, but I can't help it. It has planted itself into my brain. Thinking about how Jax took control of my mouth makes my lips tingle. It's like he's just kissed me all over again. No more worrying about getting carried away with Jax. He won't want to be near me after what I've said to him. Never mind him wanting to kiss me again.

  I get dressed and leave my hair in its high messy bun that I did before I got into the bath. My phone very loudly vibrates on my dressing table. I'm shocked to see it's a text from Jax.

  JAX: I'm sorry x

  I start to cry again all over again. I didn't expect that and he shouldn't be saying he's sorry to me. I'm the one in the wrong. I know he was tough on me earlier but that's Jax, and he knew how to get what he wanted out of me.

  ME: No, I'm sorry Jax. So sorry I lied to you x

  JAX: I shouldn't have pushed U like that. I made U cry. I just wanted 2 help U and if that meant getting a name I just had to get it out of U. Y did U lie to me Kendal? Y didn't U tell me? x

  ME: R U still OK 2 come over? x

  JAX: On my way x

  He's coming over now? Shit I'd better get ready!

  I quickly make my face look better. Jax may be angry with me, but there's no need for him to see me in this mess. I make sure the house is presentable and quickly manage to get myself together before there's a loud knock on the door. I take a deep breath and when I open the door I hold back my gasp. Jax looks distraught. His eyes are so sad, and when he walks past me he doesn't carry himself with his usual confidant swagger. How could I have done this to him? I'm a terrible, terrible person!

  I quietly shut the door and lead Jax into my living room. When I sit down on the sofa, I see Jax is still standing, looking at the large photo frame hanging on the wall above my other sofa. The large frame holds twenty photos that scatter in different positions. They're a few of me and Finley together, but most of them are just Finley. Jax stands there staring at it, his broad back facing me. I can see he's breathing heavily through his tight top. I start to feel like I can't hold myself together. I can not cry again. I've cried enough today but looking at the man I love, looking like this - has become my undoing, and I feel my tears stroll down my face. I feel so shit that I have done this, I thought I was doing the right thing. Looking at Jax makes me believe I got it all wrong. So totally wrong.

  I look down to the floor because I can’t handle looking at him anymore. It’s too much and it’s breaking me. I can’t hold my tears back any longer, so I hang my head and try my best to cry silently. I thought I was doing a good job until I see Jax's knees crouch down next to my feet and then his two strong hands hold my head on either side. Jax lifts my face so I look at him crouching down in front of me. The look on his face breaks me again. He looks concerned for me - which is wrong. This is about him and Finley. He wipes my tears away with his thumbs and kisses my forehead.

  "Don't cry baby. I'm here now for you. For both of you."

  Which just makes me cry harder and he pulls me into his arms. How can he be so good to me? I can't take his kindness, I need him to shout at me or at least look at me with disgust.

  "I-I'm s-so sorry Jax."

  I manage to say between my sobs. There was no point in me putting on fresh make-up. Jax holds me tighter and I breathe in his scent. I'm immediately taken back four years, old favourite memories flood back. I loved getting up and close to Jax, wrapped in his large tattooed arms. I breathe him in some more and his smell manages to calm me down, he has always smelt so good.

  "Why? I could have helped you. I could have been with you. You shouldn't have done this alone for so long Kendal. You don't know how angry I am right now that you robbed me of this. Not just lying about Finley but I should have been here for you too."

  There's no point in lying anymore, so I let it all fall out.

  "When I found out I was pregnant I knew I had to keep the baby, but I couldn't take your dream away Jax. You loved playing, and you were getting more and more attention. You were finally getting somewhere; if I had told you I was pregnant with your baby it would have ruined everything for you."

  "Don't be so stupid. I could have been there for you both and still have had Decoy."

  I pull away from him so I can look him straight in the face.

  "No you couldn't!"

  He frowns down at me, so I quickly say what I have too.

  "When Finley was about a week old, I heard the news you had been signed. Are you telling me you would have le
ft Finley – to go and do the promotional tour when he was that young?"

  Jax is now the one to look down at the floor. I know I have him.

  "I could have sorted something."

  "That's what I didn't want you to do. I wanted you to be happy and live your dream. Not stressing about how to fix it all. I couldn't take that away from you. I originally planned to tell Finley when he was a teenager, but this year has been so hard. I couldn't do it anymore Jax. Finley needs you."

  He looks at me and softly strokes my cheek.

  "Kendal, I was happy and living my dream when you were with me. When you left I wasn't happy anymore. I wasn't living my dream anymore. Being with you was my dream. Being without you was miserable."

  I don't know what to say. Jax lifts one of his eyebrows and smiles. It warms me inside because he looks a little better than ten minutes ago.

  "So, you named him Finley?"

  I smile back. I always loved the name. When I found out that was also Jax's middle name, I was so happy that if we stayed together and had a family our sons name would be special. Even though we were not together as a family, we still created a son together. I had to call him Finley.

  Jax glances back to the wall where the multi photo frame is hung.

  "He's a good looking kid."

  I giggle. That's because he takes after his dad.

  "He's so much like you Jax. In everything. He's your little double."

  He turns back to me and my heart drops. He has tears in his eyes.

  "Tell me about him, please."

  So I do. I tell him everything. I show him old photos and videos on my phone. With every memory I share, every photo and video I show him, he seems to slip back to the same old Jax. Feeding Jax information about his son is putting him back together. I know what I have to do now. After talking and laughing about Finley for an hour, I get a text from my mum. Finley will be here in about fifteen minutes but I don't want Jax to meet my mum yet. That can wait.

  "Do you want to meet him?"

  He nods and looks back down the photo he's holding. It's a picture of me and Finley in the park, Finley was about nine months old. The photo shows me holding Finley smiling at the camera. It was a windy day, so my red hair is blowing and little Finley's grinning a gummy-toothless smile. It's a beautiful picture. I have it on my phone, so I've given the picture to Jax.

  "When Finley comes back. Could you stay upstairs until my mum goes? Then you can come down and meet just Finley."

  "OK."

  This big, strong, sexy man, who faces big crowds of screaming fans and paparazzi, suddenly seems very nervous. I put my hand on his knee and squeeze.

  "It's going to be fine Jax."

  ~Jax~

  Kendal has just spotted her mums car outside, so I've come upstairs to hide away from her. Kendal wants me to meet Finley first and then introduce me to her parents. It makes sense, so I agreed. I just want to meet my son, and after listening to Kendal telling me all about Finley, I'm so nervous to meet him.

  Eventually, I got my head around the idea of having a son. Now, the wish I wanted of having my own little family is starting to become a reality. I was still angry with Kendal when I came over here, but when I saw what state she was in, my anger lessoned. She looked so small and fragile. Her little face all red and her eyes were puffy. I knew me making her come clean had done that and I'm disappointed in myself treating her like that. I had no idea she was going to tell me I was Finley's father.

  Being angry at Kendal for keeping this secret doesn't change how I feel about her. I'm not angry at her for not telling me I have a son. It's because she left me when she needed me the most and raised our child alone for nearly four years. I'm angry because I've wasted those four years, spending them with pointless women – when I could have had Kendal. Spent time - bonding with my son. I don't know how it would have all worked out. I would have tried everything. Maybe Decoy might not have been where we are today. It might have taken longer to get where we wanted to be, or it might not have happened at all. I wouldn't have cared because I would have had Kendal and Finley.

  I wasn't lying when I told her my dream was with her. After Kendal had run out on me, I soon realized that I was not living the dream anymore. Yes, I loved being the front man of Decoy and singing to the fans. Without Kendal with me - the parties were boring and my bed was cold. I wanted Decoy and Kendal. If I had to make that decision four years ago – Kendal was right. I wouldn't have gone on the promotion tour. I would've told the guys to go on without me. Max could've taken over my place easily. As long as I could have had a few local gigs singing and playing my guitar, I would have been perfectly happy.

  I get to the top of the stairs. It's a small square landing; three walls face me in a box design. Each wall has a door. I can tell the room right in front of me is the bathroom and I poke my head into the room on the left. It's obviously Kendal's, it’s decorated in red and blacks. I walk around and see she has cute little pictures of her and her friends. The flowers I gave her are on a small table in the corner of her room and the picture I had framed for her is in front of them.

  I hear the door open downstairs and the sounds of Kendal talking to her mum. Quietly, I walk out onto the landing so I can hear better. My cue to go downstairs, is when Kendal tells Finley that she has someone she wants him to meet.

  When I step onto the landing, I look at the third door. That must be Finley's room. I slowly open the door to another small glimpse of Finley. On the wall facing me is red wallpaper with small black guitars and drum kits scattered around. There are boys toys all over. Not in a mess, but where Finley obviously has his fun. I can tell he loves cars, but when I see the blue toy guitar and microphone with stand in the corner - I feel a little emotional. It's only a toy, but I feel as if it links Finley to me. The sound of a door closing downstairs brings me to attention. I walk back onto the landing.

  "I can't wait for the cake mummy."

  "You can have it after your dinner Finley."

  Holy shit! That's my son’s voice. My heart is beating so fast I think it's going to take off. I can't help but smile as I listen to Finley begging Kendal for the cake.

  "Later Finley. First there's somebody I want you to meet."

  Shit, that's my cue to get downstairs. I've never been so scared.

  On my way down, I see Kendal first because she's standing right at the bottom of the stairs. She smiles and reaches out to hold my hand. I'm grateful because my legs have suddenly gone stiff.

  Kendal leads me further into the hallway where I see my little boy. I know straight away he's my son, he looks just like me. Poor guy even has the same messy hair as mine. Kendal leaves me and goes over to Finley. I watch as she crouches down to Finley's eye level. Finley looks at Kendal and then back to me. He tilts his head to one side. This little guy is cute as hell.

  "Mummy...That man looks like me."

  Smart too. I look at Kendal and she's looking right back at me. Her eyes are all shiny with tears. Finley takes his eyes away from me and back to his mum. I'm not going to lie, that felt weird thinking of Kendal as a mum. It's going to take some time getting used to.

  "He looks like you baby because he's your daddy."

  Kendal is now crying and Finley looks back to me.

  "Jax?"

  I nod at him. How does he know my name? And how did he connect my name to his dad? Finley's eyes go wide and his face lights up in excitement.

  "Daddy?"

  I nod again with a little smile but I can feel my mouth shaking a little. Fuck I can't cry. Finley's going to think I'm a pussy. Suddenly, Finley has his arms out and running towards me. I crouch down in time for him to run straight into my arms. He wraps his little arms around my neck and squeezes.

  "Mummy said I would see my daddy soon."

  "I'm here buddy."

  I hold Finley tight against me. I open my eyes and see Kendal crying her eyes out watching us. Finley pulls back and looks up at me. His eyes roam all over me - from my hair,
down my body, all over my tattoos and to my shoes.

  "My daddy is the coolest!"

  I hear a sound from Kendal – a mixture of a sob and a laugh. I feel proud Finley already thinks I'm cool. He doesn't even know how cool I can be. I've missed four years of his life and I'm going to try my best to make up for that.

  Chapter 2

  "You're a rock star?"

  I nod with a massive grin on my face. Kendal laughs beside me. I love how Finley is looking at me in awe. Just how a boy should look at his dad. We're sat around Kendal's kitchen table eating a pizza that I paid for. Me and Kendal had a little disagreement about who was going to pay. I won!

  I've spent all afternoon with Kendal and Finley. Kendal hasn't really said much, just sat back and watched me and Finley. Conversation has moved onto me being in a band because Finley wanted to show me his guitar after the pizza. Kendal told Finley that I had a guitar of my own – so Finley’s never ending questions began again.

  "Yeah, I'm in a band called Decoy. I sing and play the guitar."

  Finley gasps with his mouth wide open. Good job Finley has no food in his mouth.

  "Like me daddy!"

  I swear every time he calls me daddy my chest puffs out in pride. The way Finley looks at me makes me feel like I’m the best man in the world. I love him so much already it's unreal. Kendal laughs again and takes a bite out of her pizza. How can a woman look sexy eating pizza? I had to hold back a groan of need when I walked into the kitchen before we ate. She had wandered off, leaving me and Finley alone, so I went to find her. When I walked into the kitchen, she was picking up some of Finley's toy off the floor. Her perfect-plump-behind was high in the air.

  After spending some hours with Finley, I realised that I love her even more. Not only has she brought my son into the world, but she did it alone. Kendal has raised an awesome little boy, I'm so proud of her. My anger has all gone. Apart from the bit where she left me.

  "Mummy? Can I get my guitar?"

  "Have you finished your pizza?"

  "Yep. All full."

  "Then yes you can."

  He jumps down from the chair and darts out the room. I see Kendal look at me out the corner of her eye. I rest my arm on the back of her chair and lean in close, so my nose touches the bottom of her ear. I feel her shiver.