by Lindy Dale
As things had settled down in the shop, Cole had found himself spending way too much time thinking about things like relationships. He missed Phoebe and if truth were told, he missed Jenny too.
Okay, it wasn’t her so much that he missed — she’d been a bitch at the end — it was the things she used to do when things had been great, the relationship things. That was what he missed, he decided — the passing caress of a hand, the look across the room, the feeling that someone in the world loved you for who you were. No amount of casual sex could measure up to the way he’d felt when he’d been on the receiving end of acts such as those. He’d started to think he’d have that with Olivia. He liked the little things she did that made him feel special — the ridiculous banana splits she made him, the way she let him watch sport on TV when he knew she hated it, the fact that she bought him a new pair of shorts to replace his old torn ones. Had he been wrong about her?
The days turned into a week. Then two. So many times Cole had the phone in his hand or his foot out the door to cross the road but something always pulled him back. It was Alice’s words that had done it.
Give her space.
He was doing that but it wasn’t easy and he didn’t know how long he could keep it up for. Merrifield was a small town, for Christ sake. They were bound to run into each other at some point in time. What was he meant to do then? Ignore her? Cole hated that he had no control over this situation or any idea when it was going to end but he supposed the only thing he could do was wait.
And he bloody well hated waiting.
Chapter 25
Cole’s feet pounded the gravel track that wound along the river’s edge. It was a beautiful morning and he was glad he’d opted to go for a run before he went into the shop. Running helped him to clear his head and when the weather was kind enough to allow him to partake, he enjoyed the feeling it gave him. Even though those Zumba classes had turned out to be a bit of fun and more of a workout than he’d ever admit to, the wriggling bottoms and high-energy antics had somehow lost their sheen. He didn’t enjoy them as much as the quiet solitude of a run where his mind could wander without having to think about which leg went where. Plus, every time he set foot in the gym he instantly thought of Olivia and he was trying very hard not to do that. It only made him sad.
He’d been running for about twenty minutes when he rounded a sharp bend in the path, overhung by branches. It was quite a hazard, not that the Merrifield Shire saw it that way. He’d been told to get over it, in no uncertain terms, when he’d rung to complain. Huh, wait till someone broke an ankle. Then they’d listen. He hoped Olivia never ran this way. If someone were bound to fall, it’d be her. And knowing her, it’d be in spectacular fashion that would begin with an ambulance and end with stitches.
Cole slowed his steps. The track had narrowed and there were more fallen trees than last time. He had to be careful. More than once when he’d first run here he’d ended up arse over tit on the ground without even trying, so concentration was key. Especially on the slippery parts. Well, it was until…
Smack!
“Crap! Watch where you’re going.”
Standing — or trying to — in front of him and looking thinner and more beautiful than ever with flushed cheeks and loose strands of hair falling from her ponytail, was Olivia.
Okay, there was blood dripping from her nose into her mouth and she looked slightly annoyed that he’d almost knocked her off the path and into the river but she was still beautiful. Did every time they crossed paths have to end with a trip to Emergency?
She righted herself. “Cole.”
“Olivia.”
“Hi.”
“Hi. Are you all right?”
He wanted to reach out and touch her but he could see her guard had gone up the second she’d realised it was him under the cap.
Olivia pulled a tissue from her sleeve and scrunched it against her nose. A smear of blood stretched across her cheek towards her ear. “Fine. You?”
“Yeah, fine. How’s things?”
“Apart from the fact that you’ve given me a home nose job, not too bad. You?”
“Been better.”
Right. So this meeting wasn’t going the way he’d planned it. Cole had been visualising it since the moment he’d left her shop and this definitely wasn’t the version he’d imagined. In that one they hadn’t been wearing clothes. A small smile crept onto his lips.
“Is something funny?” Olivia asked. “Have I got blood on my face or something?” She rubbed the back of her hand over her forehead as if to clean it.
“No, no. Nothing like that. I... It doesn’t matter.”
“Well, I’ll be off then.” She side stepped him and started back along the path in the opposite direction.
He couldn’t let her go. He couldn’t let it end without some sort of closure. Seeing her made him realise. He wasn’t going to live in limbo. Either she dumped him properly or they got back together. He needed resolution so he could move on.
Jesus, had that thought come into his head unbidden? He sounded like a guest on a daytime talk show.
“Olivia!”
Olivia turned.
“We need to talk,” he said.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Do you wanna walk? Please?” He knew he was putting himself out there by asking but the silliness had gone on long enough.
Olivia hesitated. “All right, for a bit. I have to be back soon.”
“To fix up your nose?”
She hinted at a smile. “Yeah. Sort of.”
They started along the path. The day suddenly seemed to have taken on a sombre tone; a large grey cloud had moved over the sun. Cole wondered if it were some type of sign. Not that he believed in stuff like that but you never knew. He sucked in a breath. He may as well come out and say it.
“Did I do something wrong? Is that why you haven’t called me?” The silence of the last couple of weeks had turned into outright avoidance. He knew because when he’d waved to Olivia across the road the other day, she’d put her head down and dashed into Your Dream Kitchen faster than if Gordon Ramsay was doing a demonstration inside and she needed to beat the rush. He’d then caught her peeking through the display in the window to see if he’d gone. When he’d waved again, she’d pretended to be inspecting a mincer.
Olivia up looked at him. Her eyes were filled with sadness. He wanted to wrap her in his arms again, hold her and make that sadness go away.
“It’s not you Cole. It’s me.”
Great. The old ‘it’s-not-you’ line. Everyone knew that was a cover. It didn’t make breakups easier.
“Explain it, then. Please. Help me understand. I thought we had something going. The least you can do is tell me why you don’t want to be with me.”
Olivia’s lips twisted. She pushed the stray hair behind her ear and gestured to a grassy knoll ahead. “Sit.”
Right. They were making progress.
Cole stretched out on the grass, giving her his full attention. “I’m all ears.”
Olivia wiped the blood from her nose with her sleeve and sighed heavily. Then she began to pace.
The monologue lasted a good twenty minutes. Cole was so flabbergasted he didn’t so much as grunt the entire time. It started with some bloke called Graeme who’d broken Olivia’s heart, travelled down a road to where she’d discovered she’d been given a dose of chlamydia, which had led to pelvic inflammatory disease and ended with a statement about her being a cake addict. That was a new development, or so she said, something she’d only owned up to in the last few months, but one she was convinced was as real as any other addiction. Sometimes, she used to eat so many sweet things in a day she actually threw up because of it.
Man, she had issues.
The last straw apparently, had been finding out he was the owner of Death By Cupcake, though how she couldn’t have known was beyond him. After the publicity and the story on Today Tonight, Cole was convinced the whole bloody country knew. The tourist b
us that did a weekly tour of the South West had added his shop to their itinerary. People came into the shop not only to buy cake but also to get his autograph for God’s sake. How could she not have realised?
“So you’re addicted to cake?”
“Yep. When things get tough my sweet tooth is the first thing I turn to. I can’t stop at one either. I eat until I feel sick or throw up, which ever comes first. If it’s extra bad I get into a cycle of guilt and eating to get over the guilt.”
No wonder she’d freaked out when she’d seen him behind the counter.
“I dreamed about that Phoebe cupcake for a week after I went into your shop.”
She had it bad. The only thing Cole had dreamed about lately was Olivia.
Olivia swallowed. Her lip was quivering. Her eyes were filling with tears. Damn. He hoped she didn’t start crying. He couldn’t stand to see a girl cry. It choked him up every time.
“I don’t see how it can work between us when your head turns into a giant cupcake every time I see you.” She gave him a weak smile and Cole wanted to say she was being ridiculous but he had a strange feeling she was deadly serious.
“There’s nothing I can do to change your mind, is there?”
She shook her head. “I like you. A lot. I think I might even be in love with you a little, which makes this even harder. I can move on from the whole cake thing in time, but when you were joking about having kids the other week… you know, when we were in bed? Well, I’ve realised, it wouldn’t be fair to get involved with you.”
“Why?”
“There’s a distinct possibility that I’ll never be able to have children after the pregnancy and the P.I.D and everything. I love kids, Cole. So when Mum told me she was going to have a freakin’ love child it was like she’d ripped the baby from my own stomach, the pain was so big. It wasn’t so much about her as about me. I was being selfish. And me, being with you, when I know you want more kids would be even more selfish. You should find another girl, one who can give you children. It’s better for us to cut our losses before we both get hurt. ”
How did he tell her he was already hurting?
Cole pushed a hand through his hair. In his wildest dreams he could never have imagined such an insane scenario. It was like something from a soap opera. He had no idea what or how to think anymore he was so damned confused. And as for the kid thing… where the hell had that come from? He’d thought it to be some offhand comment meant as a joke but Olivia had taken it to heart. She wanted to dump him because she thought she’d be doing him a favour.
Reaching up, he tentatively took her hand. She stared at it but she didn’t pull away.
“Look,” he began. “I know I said I’d like more kids but that was a joke. I hadn’t even considered the idea until you came along. I was satisfied wallowing in my own self-pity after Phoebe died. When you and I started to get close, those thoughts came back. It’s a natural progression when you like someone, isn’t it?”
“But I can never give you what you want. Well, it’s unlikely.”
“I don’t care. I don’t even want to think about what’s around the corner. I want to spend time with you. We can worry about the future if it happens.” The desperation in his voice was a shock. Did he care so much about Olivia that he was reduced to begging? If it got any worse, people would start to think he’d been taking lessons from that stalker, Gerry.
“But you need to be with someone who can make you happy and fulfilled.”
“You make me happy.”
“And… you make me happy.”
“So apart from cake, I don’t see a problem.”
Olivia flopped onto the grass beside him. She sat for a minute gazing out at the fast flowing current of the river. Then she sidled closer, giving him a gentle shove in the side. Her finger traced the space between his knuckles. “You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you, Anderson?”
“I can be pretty stubborn when I want to, Merrifield.”
Though he had a feeling Olivia could be, too.
She leaned a little closer, looking up into his eyes. Her hand moved slowly onto his knee. A charge of electricity bolted up his leg and into—
Yeah, he probably shouldn’t be thinking about her hand when she was being serious like.
“Can we make a deal?” she asked.
“Depends.”
“We need to take this slow. I’m not saying we’re back together or anything. I’m saying let’s see. ‘Cause I’m not convinced I can do it and I don’t want to let you down.”
“You’re not convinced how much you like me?”
“Oh, I’m pretty convinced about that.” She squeezed his thigh and giggled when he winced.
Damn, but she was infuriating.
“I’m saying, I need time to get my head sorted.”
Right. More bloody time. At this rate he’d be seventy before he got laid again. Maybe he should engage the services of a shrink? He might need one by the time she made up her mind. Unless, he could do a little subtle convincing himself, of course.
*****
Cole fell through the back door panting and stopped in front of the fridge. Having stopped to talk to Olivia, he’d tortured himself by running home at double speed, surprising himself with the spring that was in his step now there was some hope for a relationship between them. It wasn’t that he was frantic about it or anything. Any other time he probably would have cut his losses and moved on but Olivia was special. Everything about her made him feel alive — her walk (or limp), the cute wrinkle she got in the top right of her forehead when she was being serious, even the cake addiction. Some blokes would find baggage like the stuff she’d shared a turn off but, hey, he had skeletons. Didn’t everyone?
He reached into the fridge and pulled out a large bottle filled with water. Not bothering with a glass he tilted the bottle and took a few hefty gulps.
“You were gone a while.”
Adelaide came into the kitchen, Lulu trailing behind her.
His heart rate beginning to return to normal, Cole took another swig of water and wiped his hand over his mouth.
“That’s totally disgusting you know. If Mum catches you, you’ll be for it.”
Cole wiped the ‘germs’ from the neck of the bottle with his shirt. “There. All fixed.”
“Oh my God, you’re revolting.” Adelaide snatched the bottle from Cole’s hands and took it to the sink. She tipped out the water and rinsed the bottle under the hot tap before refilling it.
“I saw Olivia,” Cole said.
“What, then?”
“She was out for a run too. She’s so thin. How is it that women can get so thin so quickly?”
Adelaide stopped, her hand on the fridge door. “Maybe she’s been upset. Worry can tend to make a girl go one of two ways — either you comfort eat or you stop eating entirely. Did you speak to her?”
“Yeah. We had a good chat. She did seem sad.”
“I’d be sad if I had to deal with the stuff she’s been through lately. It’s all over town. Imagine if Mum waltzed in and told us she was having a baby with one of my exes. The mind boggles.”
“Mum’s way past child-bearing age. And you don’t have any exes.”
“Very funny. And not the point. Did Olivia say anything about the two of you?”
“It was mentioned.”
“But you’re not going to tell me?”
“Not right now. Let’s say we came to an understanding. But she wants to take it slow.”
Adelaide’s eyes lit up. “Ohhh. She wants you to woo her. This is so up your alley, Cole. You can do wooing. Let’s make a list right now.”
“Of what?”
“Ways to win Olivia’s heart. You could start with a personalised cupcake.”
Not the wisest move considering what Olivia had told him. Even a low fat one would probably end up as pie on his face.
“I was thinking of a more subtle approach….”
He wasn’t, but if it would stop Adela
ide from going gung ho into matchmaker mode then that’s how he’d do it.
Adelaide went to the dresser and pulled out a pad and pen. Returning to the table, she sat next to her brother at the kitchen table, her pen poised to write.
“This is perfect timing, too. With Mum and I off back to Perth in a couple of weeks you’ll have the house to yourself. This can be like a project.”
“Are you thinking Olivia and I may need alone time?” Despite himself, he grinned.
“Well, of course. So, number one….” Adelaide wrapped her arm around the pad so he couldn’t see and began to scribble furiously. She stopped every now and then to nod or titter to herself. It was as if every girlish fantasy she’d ever read in those silly romance books she adored was being brought to life in her list. God knows what he was in for.
After ten minutes, Cole took the pad and began to read.
“No. No and no. Definitely not.”
He was not going to be seen carrying swags of red roses and spouting love poetry outside the door of Doggie Divas. The townsfolk would start talking about him for reasons other than his shorts if he did that. Nor would he be dressing up in some monkey suit and taking her dancing in the city. Neither Olivia nor he could dance. Her crutches were testament to that.
“What about the picnic idea?” Adelaide asked. “Every girl loves a picnic.”
“We were going to go to the falls but it never eventuated.”
Cole’s eyes scanned the rest of the list. There were a couple of possibilities and one of them, he was almost certain would make Olivia change her mind.
Chapter 26
I was right in the middle of this amazing dream where someone — I don’t know who but they were nice — was about to tell me something of extreme importance, when my phone chirruped. It was Sunday. My only day to sleep in. I was trying to make the most of it. Unfortunately, I’d already been interrupted by Alice who’d come to collect a few things she’d left behind, then Mrs Tanner playing Neil Diamond at full volume with the window open and, finally, a group of Seventh Day Adventists who were desperate for me to convert.
