Enough Isn't Everything (Everything Trilogy)

by Shandwick, K. L.

  “I get it Holly, Big Brett,” I finished for her. We both laughed.

  She bit into her toast and continued, “Okay, so he asked me to go for a late drink; his friend has a bar. We sat after hours, talking for a while and just connected. We have so much in common.” She smiled.

  “He’s an oil man like my daddy, but he’s taking some time off right now. Anyway, I ended up at his place, and he was the best lay I’ve ever had honey. I’ll definitely be going back for seconds.”

  I blushed at her as she lay back on the chair fanning herself with her hand. Holly finished gushing about her night with Brett and yawned, then took herself off to bed. I went to dress and caught sight of my outfit.

  I had dressed like the girl I wanted to be today. I wanted to be taken seriously for my music, not for my looks. I had to find my confidence without power dressing, except for the occasions I actually performed.

  I pulled on a plain baggy blue top and jeans, my hair scooped back in a low ponytail. The only makeup was confined to a touch of mascara and lip gloss.

  I picked up my guitar case and slung it over my shoulder, stuffing a notation book and some music theory notes in my backpack. I bit an apple between my teeth and headed off to campus.

  When I drove into the parking lot Will was sitting on a concrete bollard. He sprung up and headed for my car. “Hey. Lily! I was hoping you’d turn up today.”

  I smiled at him. “You read my mind I was hoping the same thing of you. I don’t have your cell phone number yet.”

  We smiled, swapped cell numbers, and discussed how well everything had gone for us the previous night. Will was delighted with the feedback we got. Apart from the offers of bar work, a guy had approached him about playing an instrumental with full credits on a track he was recording.

  I was so pleased for him. I hugged him spontaneously, and he hugged me back. As we were wrapped around each other Alfie’s car swung round and parked in the lot, right beside us.

  I hesitated and was about to pull away from him in case Alfie got the wrong idea, but Will was still hugging me absentmindedly, rocking me back and forth, as he finished telling me his news.

  We were both looking at each other and laughing when Alfie got out of the car. “Get a room Will, or go get some ice cream and cool off!” I blushed slightly and stood hanging on Will’s waistline, his arm still around me.

  “Vanilla’s a good flavor for good girls I hear,” he teased, but his jaw was tense. Seeing Will and I like this wasn’t about to dissuade Alfie that we had nothing going on.

  Alfie kept walking and shouted back at us without turning around, “Great gig last night. Y’all blew my mind.” I knew there was another double entendre in his comment and felt a little bad that Will wasn’t in on the private joke, but I still couldn’t help smirking at that.

  I let go of Will and stood back. He looked annoyed with Alfie. “Sorry, the guy’s a moron.” He shrugged with a small smile.

  I was still smirking. “Oh, he’s insignificant, don’t worry about me. I can more than handle him. You have no idea how good I am at handling guys like him.”

  As I said this, I remembered how silly he looked lying flat out on his bed, his condom still hanging from his dick and giggled out loud. Will looked concerned. “Are you sure?” I smiled at Will’s concern.

  “Of course, I’ve met asses like him a lot in my line of work. I’ve been around bars since I started playing at sixteen.” I winked. I knew Will was convinced when I saw him visibly relax.

  CHAPTER 16: PARTNERSHIPS

  Will’s fingers tightened on my hand, and he looked at me a little concerned. “Lily, are you sure you want to duet with me? I know last night’s response was brilliant, but you’ve only been here a day. I didn’t really give you a chance to find out if there was anyone else you want to team up with.”

  “Will, working with you has given me so much already, and I think finding somewhere to perform together so early is amazing. I think you’re very talented, and I’d love to work with you.” He hugged me again and became quite animated in his conversation.

  “Mandy wants to do some gigs with us. She didn’t stop raving about you last night. Do you sing, Lily?” he asked.

  “Sure, not like Mandy, though.” He smiled.

  “Mandy is… Mandy,” he offered by way of an explanation. “I want us to develop, so we need to sing too. Will you do that?”

  I swallowed, telling myself I could do this. “Sure,” I gulped.

  “If you are serious, could we jam together and rehearse some material over the next couple of weeks in the evenings and put a set together?” His eyes searched my face waiting for my response.

  “Sure! I’d love that, I’m so excited about this.” I fidgeted nervously with my guitar strap and hugged him yet again.

  Will noticed my sudden shyness. “C’mere.” He pulled me closer by my waist into another hug, and my hand came up to rest on his forearm. Alfie appeared when I was in Will’s arms again. We moved apart just as Alfie strode passed us. Alfie looked annoyed, but didn’t comment, just got in his car and drove off.

  Part of me wanted to run to Alfie to explain, but he told me he didn’t care about me seeing anyone else. But he looked irritated every time he saw us together. I began to wonder if he was really as unaffected by the thought of me being with someone else, which would mean that he was feeling something for me.

  I decided to test this by creating some space between us. Maybe it would give me some perspective on all of this too. If I stayed away from him, would he start to miss me? So there and then, I decided that sex was off the menu right now.

  Meanwhile, I wanted to concentrate all my efforts on getting to know Will and putting the best set together we could.

  Saffy was a little miffed at me taking up so much of Will’s time and snapped at me a few times. I asked her to meet me for coffee so that I could mend some bridges with her. I hadn’t spent a lot of time with her and was feeling kind of like a bad friend, but to be fair, she was always with Will when I wasn’t.

  This made it difficult for both of us to see each other. I could feel the strain in our friendship because I was spending so much time with Will, and I felt she blamed me for the times Will didn’t see her.

  We entered the coffee shop, and I ordered two skinny lattes and some coffee cake from the barista before sitting down at the far end of the coffee shop. We were away from the other customers. This ensured we weren’t disturbed. Saffy stared out the window, but there was a car directly in front of the window and she couldn’t see much, so I knew she was doing it because she was angry.

  “I’m glad we could get together Saffy. I really wanted to spend some time with you.”

  She snorted at me. “You did? I’m surprised.” She looked hostile and flicked her hair behind her shoulder. I’d already felt the tension from her on the short drive here.

  “You have beengoing on about what you’ve both been doing all the time. “Do you have a crush on Will, Lily?”

  My jaw dropped, I was stunned at how off the mark she was. “Men make women irrational, huh? Saffy, what Will and I are doing is just like any other people that are teamed up to work closely together.” I smiled and reached out to place my hand over her forearm as she held her coffee.

  “If Will was a police officer and I was his female partner, you wouldn’t be able to do anything about that? Would you be upset if he spent ten hours working with me then?” I asked. “There’s no comparison is there?”

  Saffy sniffed, and I continued to help put this in context for her. “How different is it? They would be partnered together for a reason, because it made sense to put them together, or because of their skill mix. Can’t you see this is the same with us? Will benefits from me and my instrument. I can play with most students here, but Will can’t. He is an exceptional player Saffy, but his saxophone is a little more of a niche instrument.”

  I sighed, but felt sorry for her. “Your man has a lot of talent, Saffy. Playing his instrumen
t alone doesn’t get him a huge amount of attention. There isn’t as much work unless he does jazz music. He might get the occasional piece, but he doesn’t want to be pigeon-holed into one genre of music. He needs my help to show people how versatile he can be. It’s easier to do a set with a guitarist, or in a band. There are very few saxophonists who do more than play jazz.”

  I smiled. “Will doesn’t want to be restricted in that way. He needs someone like me, and possibly Mandy, who are willing to help him get the break he deserves. Don’t think I’m doing this selflessly either, he brings out a side to my performance that’s been lacking, and I’m learning heaps of new stuff from him every day, so the deal is both ways.” I sat back and waited for her to digest what I’d just said.

  Saffy looked close to tears. I felt for her, she really didn’t get it. “Look, Saffy, I can see that Will is special to you, but he’s special to me too, but not for any other reason than a bond through our music. Will’s music and friendship will continue with me no matter how you play this. He already knows we’re good together musically, and if I don’t work with him someone else will. We’re students, honey, this is part of our study. I’m sorry if that makes you feel jealous, you are my best friend for goodness sake. No man will ever change that. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but if you persist with your possessiveness, he is the kind of guy to walk away.”

  A tear fell from Saffy’s face onto her hand, and I passed her my napkin. She blew her nose and looked sadly at me.

  “Will’s music needs to come first right now, Saffy, he’s on the verge of doing something with it for life, and you need to understand this. He’d be doing it with or without me. Besides, would you really prefer him with another person, maybe another girl? He could be with someone that you had no clue about? At least you know where he is, and what he’s doing, because I tell you.”

  She put her head down, and I bent my head to look under her bangs to make eye contact. “He’s working with me when we’re together. We’re not just hanging out.”

  Saffy gave me a watery smile, her eyes welling up, and smiled wryly at me. “I’m just so into him, you know?”

  I rubbed her back. “Damn, Saffy, you’ve got it bad girl,” I teased. She agreed with me that she needed to tone her control down or risk losing Will though.

  “Thanks for making me see straight.” She gave me a small smile.

  The next four weeks were hectic for both Will and me. We all but moved in together to work, spending every waking moment trying to put a set together. We worked seven days a week rehearsing and getting ready to raise our profile as artists.

  The money was important to Will as well. I had found the courage to sing three numbers, and I surprised myself by feeling okay about that. Will, Mandy, and Saffy all told me that my voice was fabulous. Personally, I’m obviously not hearing what they are.

  We spent most of our time at Will’s place, as he had no roommates to interrupt us. Will rang Saffy each day when we were winding up, and she came around as I was leaving. In the morning we’d swap places again.

  Sometimes, though, I was exhausted and napped in a chair while Will made us sandwiches or had a shower. I didn’t know how he kept going sometimes. “How do you find the stamina to keep up at this pace?” I groaned stretching out one afternoon when he was spreading mayo on some bread, and I was half-lying on the kitchen counter.

  Will smirked. “Workouts, they energize me.” My jaw dropped, when did he find time to do that?

  “You’ve been going to the gym too?”

  He smirked. “Nah, I’m doing the Saffy workout.” He grinned devilishly at me wiggling his brows.

  I was mortified at how open he was about his sex life with Saffy, but giggled, and blushed. He pulled my head under his arm and ruffled my hair. “You’re so adorable when you blush.” He chuckled.

  I wouldn’t be as comfortable with another guy apart from Jack or Alfie talking about their sex lives with me, but Will was different. I poked his belly. “You had better take care of her Will,” I said, threatening to him. He pretended to bite his fingernails and look scared of me.

  When I got into bed that night I was going over what had happened in the past few weeks. I felt like I’d grown up a lot in the past month, in terms of my music and my relationships. For the first time since I arrived here I seemed to be coming to grips with myself. I had been with Alfie, three times in total, but had kept my distance since the night I stayed over.

  Actually, it seemed mutual. I hadn’t seen him, and he hadn’t called. I almost caved one night when a song came on that reminded me of him. It had been playing in the background the first night I’d gone to see him.

  Since then, though, I have enjoyed my new life, doing well, feeling great, and I’d begun to network with the other students too. I was sleeping better as well.

  I was often woken by my cell buzzing, and today was no exception. I was clammy from the humidity in my room as I reached over and grabbed my cell. Will was meeting me on campus and wanted to remind me to bring something we’d burned to CD.

  I quickly showered and dressed in some black, gray, and white plaid shorts, a black tank top and some flip-flops. I had really toned down my attire. Florida was definitely the place where lazy people could still look cool.

  Other people were commenting on how my appearance had changed since I’d arrived as well. Will said my tan made me even more beautiful, and he wasn’t the only male giving me attention. There were a couple of guys from my course that had asked me out, but because of our commitment to work I had declined.

  They were nice guys, though, and I asked for a raincheck not wanting to offend either of them. But I wasn’t really interested in getting into something after Alfie.

  I think part of me was more cautious after what happened with him. He had obviously found our last encounter as awkward as I had. So it seemed natural that we were no longer in contact.

  I was surprised when I walked into the canteen today with Will, only to see him there larger than life after all this time.

  As soon as I set eyes on him again, I realized that I had feelings for him that I had been trying to suppress. It had been almost five weeks since our last night together, but just the sight of him gave me a buzz like nothing else did.

  There was a sudden change in atmosphere in the canteen, and I could see some girls focusing on something behind me. They were giggling and nudging each other. One of the girls was lusting after someone and blew a kiss. Before I even saw him, I felt his presence. I just knew in my heart, it was him…Alfie.

  As I turned and saw him, he blew a kiss. He was looking at the girl that had just made the gesture at him. She swiped the air, catching the imaginary kiss and closed her palm. She brought her closed fist to her mouth before touching her it with her fingers and smiled. Her hand fell over her heart.

  Her friends giggled shyly beside her, and she rolled her eyes skywards. I turned to Will, and he was smiling, watching the exchange. His eyes then seemed to move slowly downwards, and I realized whoever he was looking at was coming closer.

  Will’s head began turning slightly as the person came along beside me. I recognized his scent just as he brushed his hand lightly against my arm, as he stopped in front of me.

  When he made contact with my skin, the air was sucked out of my lungs, and my heart fluttered so badly. It floored me that his slight contact caused such chaos as the chemical reaction to his touch. I closed my eyes, hating and loving the way his touch made me feel. His presence beside me made my body hum.

  I had forgotten just how stunning he was and the effect he had on me. I heard him talk. “Hey,” he greeted. The contours of his muscles flexed as he leaned across the table to fist bump Will, before he began chatting with him about some tour he’d been on.

  The effect of his voice made me weak in the knees, but I was screaming inside because I hadn’t seen him in all this time, and he was completely ignoring me again.

  Rage built in me, angry that he coul
dn’t even offer a smile. I didn’t really hear their conversation because my heart was thumping so fast and hard. My mouth was dry, and the shock I felt was making me tremble inside.

  When Alfie left, Will noticed that he’d spoken with him as if I hadn’t been there at all. “The guy is an ass at times,” Will said angrily once we were alone. He went on looking infuriated. “And what the fuck is with that tattoo he has?”

  I looked puzzled. “The one of the couple making love?” I asked.

  His face contorted into a sneer. “Jeez, no, the script on his left wrist and that stuff on his right hand,” Will said.

  “Oh, I’ll look next time,” I said not wanting him to know that I’d already read it.

  Alfie’s left wrist, like his right, had a motivating scroll it read, “The question isn’t who’s going to let me. It’s who’s going to stop me?” I sometimes wondered if that was in relation to his attitude to sex.

  He had obviously been around judging by the things he’d done to me sexually. Until now, I had pushed the thought to the back of my mind, but I suspected that there could be more. I kind of expected that if he had done this with me, he could be doing it with someone else.

  Maybe he’d already moved on, and he was really trying to let me down gently that night.

  Will’s voice broke into my thoughts as he pulled me in for a cuddle. “Come on girl we have work to do.” And pushed me in the direction of the class.

  CHAPTER 17: COMPLICATIONS

  After college, Will drove me back to his place to run through one of the pieces and for me to collect my car. I had slept on his couch last night. Actually, I didn’t sleep on his couch. Instead, I lay trying to block out the noisy lovemaking going on in Will’s bedroom.

  He had come out of his room in boxers to get some OJ this morning, looking all cute with his bed hair, and with a shiny ‘I’ve-fucked-her-senseless’ look in his eyes. He saw I was awake and gave me a sheepish grin in embarrassment. I blushed at the sight of him.