‘I want to taste you too, I want to run my hands over your body, stroke that cock of yours and lick and suck it. I want to eat you alive.’
‘Now that talk I don’t mind,’ he laughed, as he silenced me with his mouth while he took me to the peak of my first orgasm for the morning, not quite letting me ride it out until he firmly pressed on my g-spot, muffling my sobs of pleasure with his tongue. ‘Ellie, Ellie, Ellie. You come so easily for me.’
‘I aim to please,’ I sighed, as I tried to come down from an incredible high.
‘Only me.’
‘Only you,’ I agreed and squirmed as he moved down my body, trailing his tongue between my breasts before cupping them in each hand. He ran one thumb over my aching nipple and took the other between his teeth and bit down on it as I squealed. ‘Owwww.’
‘Pain and pleasure, Ellie. There’s a fine line, one I want to teach you all about.’
‘You want to hurt me?’ I could hear the edge of worry in my voice.
‘Not hurt you, but take you to your limits of pleasure,’ he bit my nipple again and I gasped and felt myself clench as I got wetter.
‘See, that type of pain can take you to new levels.’
‘Do I need a contract?’
‘You’ve been reading too much,’ he laughed, as he looked up at me. ‘No contracts, you just trust that I’ll never take you beyond what you can handle. I’d never force you to do anything you don’t want and it won’t happen overnight. In time you’ll trust me completely and when I know that you do then we can start with gentle pleasure stimulators like biting and spanking.’
‘Spanking!’ I uttered, horrified. I was a grown woman, not a little child.
‘Remember that time I spanked you when I had you over my shoulder? It turned you on, you’re so receptive, Ellie. I’m going to love showing you what we’re capable of.’
‘I’m not … I’m not enough for you as I am?’ I whispered, fears of my lack of desirability flooding back. I couldn’t fall for someone only to be rebuffed again, to have him confirm I didn’t match his expectations. Except it was too late, I’d already fallen.
‘You’re perfect for me, never doubt my attraction for you, I’ll never get enough of you, Ellie Baxter. It’s because I want to please you, I know where I can take you, how much more I can offer you, that I’ll want to take you down this road.’ He looked at me so sincerely I gulped.
‘So there’s nothing in it for you?’
‘Of course there is,’ he smiled. ‘When you’re happy, I’ll be happy. My enjoyment is dependent on yours. Plus I get seriously intense ejaculations when I come too, which doesn’t hurt.’
‘How can you be so selfless?’ I asked shaking my head. My limited experience was most men were in it for themselves.
‘I’m not,’ he frowned. ‘Call me old fashioned if you like. My job as the man in the relationship is to make sure my woman is happy. You have no idea how much it hurt me to keep distancing myself last year.’
‘It hurt me too,’ I confirmed with a nod.
‘So, let me get back to those two orgasms I promised you and then we can eat and discuss how I avoid hurting you again in future.’
I nodded and caught my breath as he kissed his way down my stomach, licking around my navel as I weaved my fingers into his hair and gently tugged at it while my toes curled. He settled between my willingly spread thighs and opened me up, planting a delicate kiss on my clit that sent ripples up through my torso, making my skin crackle. His five o’clock shadow added some roughness to my thighs as he slipped his tongue inside me, the additional stimulation not needed, but certainly welcomed. He licked, probed and sucked, circling my clit before plunging back into me again until I was writhing on the bed begging him to let me come. It seemed each time he sensed I was close, he’d slow down and pull back. I felt wrecked even before he finally let me scream my way to another powerful orgasm, soaking his face as I reached the peak of my orgasm.
‘O. My. God,’ I whined, as he kissed his way back up my body.
‘You taste delicious, I could eat you all day, baby.’ He smiled as he observed the state of me, I could tell without even touching it, that my hair was all matted at the back from pillow friction. I may not have experienced Molly’s marvellous tongue, but from what Brooke had told me of it, Dan’s would rival it.
‘You’re going to kill me with orgasms.’
‘But I’ll always be here to revive you,’ he advised, as he held my face and slowly kissed me, giving me a chance to catch my breath before he slowly sank into me, filling me completely and making me cry as he made love to me tenderly. I clung to him after, his warm body soothing my trembling one. I lay a little trail of kisses along his damp throat and heard him sigh contentedly, before he scooped me up and carried me into the shower with him. I spent some time soaping up his muscular body, wishing I had my camera. Water trickling down that groove in his hip towards his fresh erection was a sight for sore eyes. I dropped to my knees and ran my tongue up his shaft, marvelling at the thickness of it. He spread his thighs and anchored his feet to the tiled floor, pushing my hair out of my face as I took him in my mouth. ‘Eyes on mine at all times,’ he growled.
I nodded, as I slowly moved my mouth up and down, watching his face change. He lost all that cocksure confidence, as his eyelids hung heavy and his perfectly formed lips parted on an inhalation that whistled through his teeth. I gripped the bottom of his shaft with one hand, unable to take him fully into my small mouth, so cupped his balls with the other and gently squeezed, which elicited a loud groan from him and a thrust forward of his hips. His taste was so masculine, so potent. Never before had I longed to suck someone’s cock, but Dan’s was a delicacy to be appreciated, savoured and worshipped. Even if I didn’t enjoy it so much, he deserved some selfless pleasure, just as he gave to me, over and over. I moved faster as we maintained eye contact, his green eyes darkening, his hips matching my movements, encouraging me to speed up as the odd grunt left the back of his throat. I swirled my tongue around his tip, sweeping away the salty moisture seeping from him as my name came out in a garbled expletive. His thighs and buttocks tensed and I saw his jaw tighten. He was close. He’d better be close, I already had jaw ache. I needed to practice some jaw muscle exercises and deep throat techniques to last longer and please him even more. Wrapped up in my thoughts and his expressive eyes, I was startled back to reality as my throat was flooded with him again and again.
‘I’m seriously drowning in you, Miss Baxter,’ he sighed as he helped me to my feet and caught me up in his arms and took my mouth in a crushing kiss.
‘Don’t tell me you’re still hungry,’ I laughed, as he looked over at my plate after finishing his own full English breakfast, which had been prepared especially as it was already lunchtime. He’d had a plateful that could have fed two men with some spare.
‘I’ve had a busy twenty-four hours,’ he grinned, as he stabbed a left over sausage on my plate and devoured it.
‘So my flight’s at eight-thirty tonight,’ I casually advised as I poured us both some hot black coffee.
‘You really have to go back?’ he sighed.
‘I have a partners meeting tomorrow.’
‘I’ll have Dean fly us and I can come back in the morning, if you don’t mind me staying overnight?’
‘It’s your house,’ I reminded him, as I sipped and inhaled the steam.
‘Your house, you’re paying rent. I don’t want to presume anything.’
‘So let’s not presume. Let’s put our cards on the table.’
‘I can’t now, I need to go.’
‘You’re going to see her?’
‘Yes of course.’
‘O … right,’ I nodded as I took a large gulp. Was I seriously feeling jealous of his comatose wife?
‘What? You have that face.’
‘What face?’
‘I know when you’re bottling stuff up. What did you expect? That I’d just dump my wife because we’ve started some
thing?’
‘Dump your wife? Thanks for the reminder where I stand. She’s only your wife in name, Dan.’
‘Meaning?’ he frowned.
‘How long are you going to keep torturing yourself and her parents?’ I asked. He sat up straight and glared at me.
‘I’m not torturing anyone. I’m trying to help.’
‘No,’ I said softly. ‘You’re trying to hold onto the guilt and you don’t realise how much it’s hurting you, as well as Theo and Florie.’
‘Don’t you start as well,’ he warned as his eyes narrowed. It was just like in December, like someone had flipped a switch and the shutters were slowly coming down.
‘We need to discuss this, Dan. If I’m going to be a part of your life I need to know where I stand.’
‘You already know. I’m married. I have certain daily responsibilities and this is going to have to work around that,’ he responded stubbornly. I resisted the urge to bite back at the “this” comment.
‘So you’re telling me that you have no intention of letting her go, of letting you all move on and starting a new life with me?’
‘Ellie, don’t back me into a corner.’
‘I’m not backing you into a corner. I’m not saying choose between us right now, I just need to know that if this relationship continues, at some stage I’ll be the priority in your life, just like you’d be mine.’
‘Well it’s easier for you,’ he snapped, as he ran a hand through his hair.
‘No it’s not. It’s not my dream to have a relationship with a man who spends four hours a day of his life on someone who doesn’t even know he’s there. You think that’s what I’ve dreamed of when I imagined us being together?’
‘So what? You just want me to go over today, turn off her ventilator so you and I can live happily ever after?’
‘No, don’t be so obtuse. I’m trying to hold a discussion with you, I’m not dictating terms. I just need you to understand that it’s not every woman’s dream to have her boyfriend visiting his ex-wife on a daily basis. Her being in a coma doesn’t change that.’
‘And I can’t change that Ellie. We’re a few days into a relationship and you’re asking me to promise that I’m going to let her go and marry you one day?’
‘No,’ I sighed. ‘I just need to know that you’re thinking about the future and what not letting her go will mean for us if we continue this. It’s not my fantasy to spend the rest of my life in second place to someone else.’
‘It’s hardly mine either,’ he retorted as he stood up. ‘But it is what it is and I can’t change that.’
‘You won’t change that.’
‘No, what I won’t be is forced to do something I’m not ready to do, Ellie. What are you saying? If I don’t agree to a timescale on letting her die then you’ll walk away from me?’
‘I’m simply saying that I appreciate it’s complicated for you, but it is for me too. It’s just been you and her for so long, but if you’re inviting me to be a part of your life then you need to consider how this will affect us as a couple, you want me to be a part of the equation then you need to take into consideration how it affects me as well.’
‘I don’t have time for this now,’ he snapped. ‘Fuck. Why bring this up the minute I’m due to leave to see her? Are you deliberately trying to wind me up?’
‘No,’ I sighed. ‘But we need to talk about this at some point, Dan. I’m in love with you and I have no idea when I’m going to see you next, how often, if you have time to have me in your life, or even if you really want me in your life.’ I bit my lip, I felt emotional all of a sudden. I wasn’t heartless, I wasn’t saying turn off her machine, move on with me. Equally marriage and children were important to me, if they weren’t in his future, if he was going to hang onto that shred of hope that she’d wake up and forgive him, then I needed to think about protecting my heart and walking away.
‘Damn it, Ellie,’ he sighed, as he stood with his hands on his hips looking down at me. ‘I’m trying to do the right thing and now you’re on the verge of tears and I feel like a complete shit for leaving you.’
‘Just go, we both need time to think about what we want from each other and discuss it rationally later.’
‘You’ll be here when I get back? You won’t run again?’
‘You ran first,’ I reminded him as I wiped my eyes.
‘Don’t you dare leave. I’ll hunt you down this time no matter what.’ He leaned over, grasped my face and planted a kiss on my lips, spun on his heels and disappeared. I covered my face with my hands as my shoulders slumped. Was I being unreasonable? A selfish bitch to want to be the priority in my man’s life? If Moira had a chance at waking up I’d have walked away, as he’d try and be a good man and make it work, but I’d heard it myself, from the nurse, from her parents, it wasn’t going to happen. Did he expect me to wait for ever? Would our lives together revolve around his four hour daily visits? Given my own levels of frustration I could only imagine what her parents must be feeling. I suddenly sat upright as something came back to me. The time I’d done the Christmas shopping and found him in the car park yelling on his phone, “She’s my responsibility.” It was Moira he’d been talking about, not me. I felt my heart breaking for him. He couldn’t forgive himself, that was why he was hanging on. I just had no idea how I was going to help him. I lost myself for a couple of hours in a book and jumped as the phone in the lounge and bedroom rang simultaneously and crossed over to the bed and threw myself on it as I picked up the receiver.
‘Hello?’
‘I’m going to bitch slap your face and arse like you’ve never known if you ever come back to London, Ellie Baxter,’ hissed Brooke’s furious voice. I couldn’t help bursting out laughing, even in a mood she was a complete ray of sunshine. ‘It’s not bloody funny. Four days you’ve been gone, four whole bloody days and I get three lousy texts?’
‘O Brooke, I’ve missed you.’
‘Apparently not enough. “I’ve arrived safely” then “There’s an explanation” and “O my God he’s even bigger than I remember” with a smiley winking face and stuck out tongue is hardly sharing and caring.’
‘I also said I missed you and loved you,’ I reminded her.
‘So spill,’ she demanded.
‘How long do you have?’ I sighed, as I lay on my front and kicked up my heels.
‘BFF’s don’t set time limits, the Brooke is all yours. But first I need to know about his wife, how she died and why he lied about it, there’s nothing wrong with being a widow.’
‘Widower.’
‘What’s the diff?’
‘Correct use of the English language. Let’s stay on topic shall we?’
‘Whatever, dead wife, what’s the deal?’
‘She’s not exactly dead and that’s who he goes to see for four hours every day,’ I sighed.
‘Get on that plane and come home right now!’ Brooke snapped. ‘I’m not having you be fucked around by him again. What’s wrong with him? He wants to be married to her, but doesn’t live with her and thinks it’s alright to fuck around with you behind her back, messing with your feelings too? In fact I’m coming up there and I’m going to kick his arse, I don’t care how sodding tall or big he is. What’s wrong with you? I thought you had morals? I can’t believe that you’re seeing a marri…’
‘Brooke!’ I interrupted. ‘Stop for a second and calm down. I do have morals and if his wife wasn’t in a coma, on a ventilator, where she’s been for nearly four years, of course I wouldn’t still be seeing him. I told you it’s complicated. Let me tell you and then you can give me your thoughts, because while I don’t feel guilty, I feel seriously confused about how we’re going to work.’
‘Sorry babe, you’ve just been so upset about him for the last few months it got me mad.’
‘I know and I love you for being so protective and supportive, I really do.’
‘Come on then, dish,’ she demanded.
‘What’s that noise?’ I
asked, as I heard trickling in the background.
‘I’m having a pee. I was going to hold it but we could be some time by the sounds of it.’
‘Brooke!’ I laughed. ‘That’s revolting taking me to the toilet with you.’
‘What? I needed to go and it’s not like I’m on facetime and you can see the faces I make.’
‘Thank God for small mercies, seeing you straining while taking a dump is not up there on my bucket list.’
‘Especially not when I’ve had that nutty seeded bread. Jesus, that stuff rips through you like a colonic. Save money at a fancy clinic and have that bread. I tell you it clears you out fast, though there is the downside of serious ring sting after. I actually thought I had worms the other day as my usual conker browns were full of white seeds,’ she informed me earnestly.
‘I’m so lucky to have you as a best friend, how else would I know these interesting and diverse facts of life? Any other shit tips for me?’
‘Actually a vindaloo curry pretty much does the same but with that…’
‘I was joking,’ I laughed. ‘I don’t want to try it, hear about it or see it, please remember that next time you decide taking me to the loo is a good idea.’
‘Ok let me wipe and wash my hands and I’m all yours. Dan me up, make me like him again.’
‘Where to begin,’ I sighed and tried to give her as much detail on the last few days as possible, which took a lot longer with her interrupting and making sounds of approval and disapproval as we chatted, along with another toilet break.
‘You have the bladder of a midge,’ I sighed.
‘I know. So he brought you a diamond and emerald bracelet?’ she repeated for the third time. ‘Just … because?’
‘Why do you always fixate on the finance side of things? You’ve not even commented on the fact that he doesn’t want to let her go and if we stay together he’ll disappear for four hours every day.’
‘Money buys nice things. I get him not wanting to turn it off, he’s lost his son and the first love of his life, even if he didn’t admit it to himself until it happened. Then he’s the cause of an accident that may as well have killed his scheming wife and second potential child. That’s got to be a shit load of guilt, babe.’
31 Days of Summer (31 Days #2) Page 10
