Yours and Mine (Friends with Benefits)

by Lacey Silks

  “A tornado,” someone screamed. The lights flickered on and off a few times before the power went out. One of the firefighters turned on the fire truck’s headlights.

  Everyone was rushing around in confusion, not knowing what to do. Although there was chaos, I didn’t hear as much screaming as I thought. The sound of the approaching wind, howling like a freight train, got louder. Carter swung his leg forward, breaking the plywood covering the bottom of the stage side. “Climb in!”

  I got down on all fours and crawled toward the back. I searched for the darkest corner and straddled one of the thicker posts holding up the stage, praying that I wouldn’t get sucked out. I heard Carter call everyone in.

  “Daisy!”

  One by one, others climbed underneath the stage. As I huddled, I strained my eyes to find someone I recognized. If it weren’t for the few streams of light coming through the boards from the fire truck’s headlights, I wouldn’t have been able to see my hand in front of my face.

  “Jo?”

  “Molly? Oh, my God! I can’t believe this is happening. Have you seen Daisy?”

  “Daisy!” Carter was screaming at the top of his lungs. “We need everyone under the stage, now!”

  Holding onto the beam, I desperately searched through my purse for my phone, hoping both Daisy and Carter would soon climb underneath.

  “Dad?” I could barely hear him through the static.

  “Joelle? Where are you? The weather is really bad.”

  “There’s a tornado heading our way. I’m under the stage.”

  Something snapped outside, and I was sure it was part of the rooftop. Was Carter still out there? Where was Daisy? The space under the stage seemed pretty full by now and I hoped they were both here.

  “Honey, I’m coming!”

  “No! You take cover, Dad. Dad?”

  The connection broke apart, and then I couldn’t hear anything. The sound was unlike any I’d ever experienced. It was like all the sounds in the world had combined into one. Wind howled and tore through the barn. At one point, I thought I’d gone deaf, as the tornado ripped apart everything in its way. It was just me and the post I’d been holding onto, and I imagined the stage above me ripped off along with everything else. The faint light through the boards from the fire truck vanished, and I silently prayed to not die until I saw Nick once more.

  And then it was all quiet.

  I’m alive.

  Someone was crying further away, and I thanked God I wasn’t the only one to survive.

  “You okay?” I asked Molly.

  “Yeah, I think so.”

  The stage was still above us.

  “Is it over?” someone else asked. The space slowly emptied as we made our way out from underneath the stage. That’s when I saw Carter, frantically looking around the room.

  “Daisy!” he called out, and I ran to him.

  “Where’s the last place you saw her?”

  “By the fire truck.”

  We both turned at the same time toward the barn door.

  “Where’s the fire truck?” I asked.

  We ran outside to a world I barely recognized. I turned around in a circle to assess the damage. If it weren’t for the few parked cars that remained untouched by the tornado in the parking lot and the now magically clear skies and the moonlight, we wouldn’t have been able to see anything. The wind had activated automatic alarms on a few cars, and the sirens echoed, bouncing off the mountains. Trees to the left of the barn had been torn out of the ground, and some of those still standing had been snapped in half, like matchsticks. When I looked back to the barn, the front half of it was gone. Boards from the roof as well as from its sides had been ripped off, which meant that the tornado had cut through the structure, missing the far end by the stage where we’d been hiding, but judging by the look of the mud and debris all around us, not by much. The fire truck was on its side, a hundred feet away from the barn, and so we headed in that direction.

  I searched through the debris, despite Captain Clark’s instructions to stay back. I shoved the stray branches to the side when I saw a foot with a daisy sandal sticking out from underneath the rubble.

  “This way!” I screamed, and climbed up the mound of trees, boards, and twisted metal the tornado had deposited. Daisy was pinned under a tree trunk. Her eyes were closed, and her dress stained with mud, ripped to shreds but still covering her body.

  “Daisy! Daisy!”

  She opened her eyes.

  “Somebody help! She’s alive,” I screamed.

  “I’m here, honey.” I took her hand, careful not to add any more pressure to the tree that had trapped her.

  “What happened?” she asked.

  “I think you were sucked out of the barn by the tornado, but you’re okay now.”

  “I don’t think so, Jo. I think this is it for me. I can feel it.”

  “Come on. Don’t talk like that. You’re the strong one. This is just a hiccup. You just got engaged, baby, and Carter’s been searching all over for you.”

  “Daisy!” I heard him not far away.

  “Take care of my man, Jo. Promise me you’ll take care of him.”

  “Daisy, don’t talk like that. You’re going to be fine, and you’ll take care of him yourself until you’re old and gray.”

  “It hurts so much,” she moaned. Her pain seared through me, and I saw blood pooling underneath the tree.

  “Don’t move, Daisy. Just hold on. They’re coming.”

  “Promise you’ll take care of him, Jo.”

  “I promise, Daisy. I promise. Now you promise me to hold on for as long as you can.”

  She sighed and her eyes closed. Peace swept over her face, and my heart constricted. She didn’t open her eyes again.

  One of the firefighters was first by my side, with Carter right behind him.

  “Hurry! She’s losing blood.” I squeezed my friend’s frail hand, on which she wore her engagement ring, but she didn’t squeeze back. “You hold on, Daisy Anne. Hold on.”

  “Joelle, move aside.”

  I wiped the tears from my face with the back of my hand and stepped away. Carter and Captain Clark threw branches blocking the main trunk to the side. Four more men joined them, and together they lifted the heavy tree; I could see their pulses straining through their bulging neck muscles. God only knows where they found the strength, but they were able to get it off her.

  Daisy was covered in blood. Her eyes were closed, and though it was dark, I could see that her skin was white, almost translucent. Bennett and Juliet were helping Mrs. Gladstone, who had apparently hurt her leg, walk toward an ambulance.

  “Joelle!” I heard Marge’s voice first, then my father’s, as they called for me.

  “I’m here!” I ran to them both.

  “Thank God you’re all right.” My father wouldn’t let go.

  “Daisy, she’s… Dad, she’s really bad. I…”

  “Honey, she’s in good hands now.” Marge pointed to the team of paramedics carrying her to an ambulance. Carter was beside them, holding her hand. One of the paramedics was above Daisy doing chest compressions, and another one had attached an air bag and was squeezing the bag, forcing air into her lungs. The third was putting pressure on her belly where the blood I’d seen earlier was gushing. A piece of a branch was sticking out of her abdomen, and I brought my hand to my mouth in shock.

  “We’re going to pray for her, baby. We’ll pray as hard as we can.”

  I was supposed to remember this night as a happy one, when two of my best friends got engaged and we celebrated the beginning of their lives. Instead, I would remember it as one of the worst ones of my life. Five people lost their lives that night, including my best friend Daisy.

  Dear Nick,

  I wish I was writing to you with better news. A tornado hit our town. We were at a dance to raise money for the firehouse. It was almost a direct hit to the old barn. Nick, Daisy died… It’s still so hard to believe. She didn’t make it undernea
th the stage where we were hiding and was sucked out of the barn.

  Carter’s a mess. He proposed to her the same night and moments later, Daisy was gone. I tried to call him over and over but he’s been avoiding me. I can’t even imagine his devastation. I’m not sure if I could live through the loss he’s feeling. I mean, losing someone you love so much… I miss you and wish you were here. I lost my best friend and I need my boyfriend now more than ever.

  This letter sucks because there’s nothing good I have to say, but I do want to keep you updated. My house and my father’s bakery were torn down as well. The tornado hit our side of the street but thankfully spared yours. We’re both staying with your mom now and I live in your room. It smells like you. I hug your pillow every night. So much has changed in the little time that you’ve been gone and there are another ten months I have to get through without seeing you. I don’t know what Dad’s plans are about the bakery, but the whole town’s a mess. Cleanup will take months but should be done by the time you come back.

  At least I’ll see you, right? I mean, Carter won’t ever have Daisy again. I feel like you’re so far away. I need you, Nick. I need you so, so much. I’m feeling very sad and I wish I could hug you.

  Yours always,

  Joelle

  Chapter 14

  My Dearest Joelle,

  I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I can’t be there for you, for my family, and for our friends. Knowing how much pain you and everyone else in town are going through is tearing me apart. The days and nights are still blending into one, and while it feels like the training is easier, I think I’m just getting used to it quicker. I can slowly see the light at the end of the tunnel and can’t wait to tell you all about it.

  Want some good news? I’ll be home for most of the summer. I feel much stronger than I was and that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. So can you, Joelle. You can be anything you set your mind on. How is the baking going? Any new recipes?

  Miss you with every fiber of my being.

  Love always,

  Nick

  I placed a bouquet of flowers in a vase by Daisy’s headstone and said a quiet prayer for my friend. Pulling my winter coat together, I walked between the graves, marking a new path with my feet. The wind whistled quietly, adding an extra layer of frost to my skin, and the compressed snow squeaked under my soles. This winter was running well into early spring, and I longed to see green grass and gardens full of daffodils and tulips. When I left the graveyard, I caught a movement in the corner of my eye.

  Carter?

  I changed my direction and headed toward the man sitting on a bench outside the front gates and, as I’d suspected, it was Carter. It had been seven months since Daisy died last August, and despite my numerous attempts to see Carter, I’d failed. I sat down on the bench beside him.

  “Have you gone in yet?”

  He shook his head, sighing, “No. It’s still too hard.”

  From what friends had told me, Carter hadn’t been at Daisy’s grave since her death. He mourned his loss from outside the cemetery and kept his grief to himself. Carter wouldn’t open the door when I knocked or answer any of my calls. If it weren’t for Captain Clark, who assured me that Carter was dealing with Daisy’s death in his own way, I would have taken that front door off its hinges. Months had passed with no word from Carter, and today was the first time since the funeral that I’d been given a chance to talk to him.

  “It will never get easy, Carter. But if you’d like, I can go inside with you.”

  “Thanks, but not yet.”

  “How is the firehouse?” I asked. “I heard you finished your training.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you going to apply?”

  “Probably, but not yet.”

  “Well, I’m sure they could use your help this cold spring. There’ve been a lot of power outages.”

  “Daisy was pregnant.”

  “What?”

  “She was pregnant. We were going to have a baby.”

  “Carter, I’m so sorry.” I removed my mitten and reached for his cold hand, covering it with mine. “I didn’t know.”

  “I’d have been a father in a month. Can you believe that? Me, a father?”

  “Of course I can. You’re a wonderful man.”

  “What kind of a man lets his girl die?”

  “This wasn’t your fault.”

  “I should have been with her. Holding her hand. I’d never have let the tornado snatch her.”

  “Sometimes things happen that we can’t understand, but you can’t blame yourself.”

  “It’s not easy.”

  “I know, but you’ll get through this, Carter. You have to.”

  “What’s the point?” He turned his head toward me. His light brown eyes appeared so dark I wondered whether they’d changed color. And then he looked down again. That connection I’d been wanting to make with him was gone.

  “I’m here for you, Carter. If you ever want to talk, or do something to get out of here and clear your mind, I’m game.”

  “Thank you. I just haven’t been ready.” He lifted his head once more and met my gaze. The sadness in his eyes tore at my heart so hard that my chest ached. I turned my body toward him and he leaned in, resting his head on my shoulder. His body slowly slid down until his head was on my lap. He lifted his legs up to the bench, and sighed.

  “Have you talked to anyone else about it?” I asked.

  He shook his head but kept it on my legs. I drew my fingers through his hair, combing it gently, pressing the tips of my fingers to his scalp. He closed his eyes. I wasn’t sure how long we sat like that, but I wouldn’t move for as long as Carter needed me. When he finally pulled away and sat up, a fraction of that pain I’d seen earlier in his eyes was gone.

  “I’m sorry, Jo. I don’t like being a fucking wuss.” He pulled his fingers through his hair. It had grown longer since the last time I’d seen him, and while I would have normally suggested a haircut, the style suited him. It reminded me of Nick’s before he’d cut it. Besides, it would have been rude, especially at this difficult time.

  “You’re not. You’re human and you’re hurting. You need someone to talk to, Carter. I’d like to be that person if that’s okay with you. I mean, I loved Daisy too. She was my best friend.”

  “I know. It just feels like I not only lost a part of my life, but also part of me disappeared.”

  “Can I come over for tea sometime?”

  “Sure, but I moved out of my parents’ place.”

  “You did? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I haven’t really told anyone. And I know you’ve been busy at the bakery.”

  Oh! Since our house had been demolished by the tornado, I’d decided not to bother with pastry school. It just didn’t make sense, since I lived with two of the best bakers in the world. That, and I didn’t have the money to pay for it and didn’t want to ask Dad. I objected when he offered to pay for my school when he was looking for a way to rebuild our house. He had enough to worry about with our new living arrangements. I loved working with Marge and was sure her knowledge and experience were better than those of any teacher at any pastry school.

  “I bought the house Mr. Grafton used to live in, with the garage and all.”

  “The haunted house?” I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand dramatically. His mouth curved up a little. Mission accomplished! I curled my lower lip to the inside of my mouth and his grin widened. My heart pounded with delight.

  “It’s just an old house.”

  “It’s the garage that sold you, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah.” He gave me a bashful grin, reminding me of the boy I’d known my entire life who had been forced to grow up sooner than most. It also reminded me of how cute that boy had always been.

  “My parents helped out, and I’ll pay them back. I’ve been fiddling with a few old cars, fixing them up. My father’s broken truck is next.”

  “I’d love to see it, if that
’s all right with you.”

  “Yeah, sure.” He shrugged.

  I looked at my watch. I didn’t want to leave, but I had a retirement cake to finish.

  “I have to go, Carter. But I’ll see you around?”

  “Yeah, sure, Jo.” I tried to stand up but he grasped my wrist and whispered. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  He let go of my hand and looked forward into the distance, lost. Just before I turned around I saw that young, capricious face disappear, replaced by a grieving one.

  The next day I was swamped with receiving orders. It looked like everyone in town wanted a cake for the weekend. First I was busy planning them out, then fulfilling earlier orders, baking cookies and mixing tiramisu mascarpone filling for the Ladies Club at town hall, who’d ordered five tiramisu cakes. I didn’t even want to know what they were planning to do with them all. Since both Dad and Marge were sharing baking space now, the crammed scheduled hours meant little time for negotiation, so I couldn’t put something off for later. And all the while I’d been thinking about visiting my friend to see if I could get that spark of him back again.

  It took me two weeks to find the time and work up the nerve to go see Carter. It was finally looking like spring outside. With a blast of warm southern air, the surprising snowfall two and a half weeks ago had melted away and the grass took on its bright green shade within twenty-four hours. Daffodils bloomed, tulips opened, and the smell of new beginnings lingered in the air. I knocked on the front door, but no one answered. The drapes were drawn and I couldn’t see anything through the window. I knocked again, lightly tapping my foot on the porch.

  Something clattered to the side of the house. I followed the noise until I reached the garage. A pair of legs, which I assumed belonged to Carter, were sticking out from underneath a car. By their twisting motion, it looked like he was trying to turn something.

  I cleared my throat, and he stopped. After a pause, Carter rolled out from underneath the hood, the arm loops of his overalls and the entire top half draped over the bottom. His torso was smudged with grease and dripping with sweat. While I wanted to laugh, there was something about the image of him like that, half naked… sweaty… dirty… that forced my mouth to open. He pulled his arm over his brow, smearing grease over his forehead and bringing me out of my confused daze.