by R. H. Vesely
"Ok, Ok you've given me the rationalization, now how about some reality, no judgments here my friend," said Bill.
"You know I have never been able to figure out how women get so pissed off at men for cheating and yet-- you know you have to be cheating with some other woman and this does not raise the same indignation. I mean what is that about," said Randy.
"Yup, especially since I think every women who I have been with has at one time or another been the other woman," agreed Bill.
"Hey but wait, nice try, admire the skillful faint but let's get back to what is up with you and Mattie," laughed Bill.
Randy sat staring into the mirror, trying to figure out how to talk about this. He knew Bill wouldn't judge him. Hell, given Bill's past relationships, his response was likely to be what's the big deal. But Randy was not Bill, to him it was a big deal and he felt like a complete piece of shit. I mean, he hadn't really done anything, really.
"So are you going to give it up or not," said Bill.
"Not sure," replied Randy still staring off into the bar mirror. He thought who the hell are you kidding, he may not have physically done much of anything but his mind had certainly done something. I mean there was obviously a reason he had not really told Sarah about it other than to say he had gone out with a friend to a new bar and had fun. Fun, Jesus what a fucking lie, it was more and he knew it.
Bill could see that Randy was torturing himself. He also knew that you had to let Randy come to it when he was ready or he got kind of testy and aggressive and no good discussion would happen. But Randy obviously needed to talk. So he took a shot at making it easy for Randy to open up.
"You know, I was completely taken aback by Mattie's friend Kelley and believe it or not I called and talked to her for a bit, actually more than a bit," said Bill.
Randy gave Bill a hard stare.
"I don't give a shit about you and Kelley, I'm trying to talk about Mattie, you self absorbed asshole," said Randy.
"Wuff," said Bill, "sorrrrry! But you know it takes practice to be as big an asshole as me," said Bill.
"Ok, Ok, well like I said or maybe I didn't say, shit I literally don't even know what I am saying. Well, I called her and asked if she wanted to go out for a drink, right. So we go to the bar at the old Essex Hotel. We meet there around six."
"You know, I always wondered what that place was like, never been in," said Bill.
"It is really cool, a very old timey place, basic huge old bar with lots of wood everywhere. Actually, kind of like ED's but bigger and a little nicer shape, no old glowing beer signs. Anyway, we start talking and from the moment we start I am lost in just watching her talk. There was such a life and joy and smile about her. It was pure entertainment just to talk to her."
"Sounds wonderful, so what's the big deal," said Bill.
"After two hours, I'm thinking to myself, you better leave and at the same time I'm thinking I hope she doesn't want to leave because I don't want it to end. You now what I mean," said Randy.
"Yes, and I wish I didn't," said Bill with a laugh.
"We each keep asking the other if they want another and we both always immediately reply, sure. So this keeps going, talking about ourselves, art, films, music and then out of nowhere the wall by the table we are sitting at opens up and music comes pouring out and this big black guy dressed in a white suit walks through, excusing himself when he bumps into her chair. We both laugh and say no problem and I ask him where's the music coming from. He says the club inside and says why don't you come in and enjoy. So we say thanks and maybe we'll give it a try."
"So did you?" asked Bill.
"I'm getting there. So, by this time, we are both pretty high on alcohol, conversation and for me just her. I'm thinking I should probably get out of here before I say or do something I will regret. I'm buzzed but not so high that I don't recognize I could be in trouble. You know, with us talking so much, we hadn't been drinking very fast. We had moved our chairs close to each other so we could hear over the bar noise. So she softly puts her hand on my arm and looks in my eyes and says, "what do you think, up for some music?"
"Holy shit my friend you are in trouble," said Bill.
"Exactly," said Randy as he returned to staring in the mirror.
"Hey Ed, two more beers if you please," said Bill.
"So, unbeknownst to me, there is this small nightclub in the Essex and when we enter we see a full band on the small stage warming up. We sit down at one of the small tables and order a beer, right. At this point we just smile at each other and slide a little closer so we can face the stage, our legs are barely touching, but touching."
"Man, this must be big if you have this level of memory," said Bill.
"No shit and this was over a week ago. So the band starts, keyboard, jazz guitar, drum set and congas, great smooth music sort of a mix of jazz and motown. Then the lead singer black and dressed all in black starts - Holy shit what a voice. We both just sit their smiling almost laughing at how good the whole thing is......................."
"So what kind of music was it?" asked Bill breaking in on Randy's reverie.
"It was like I said, a sort of fusion of Jazz and Motown and an incredible conga/percussion guy using things like a set of chinese bells. I can still remember one line 'I take milk in my coffee, sugar in my tea, but that's not all of me', you really had to be there, the mix of vocals and instruments was incredible. So get this, at the break the keyboard player comes up and asks us why we are smiling and laughing so much and we both tell him that we are not laughing, we are just overwhelmed by the music, its pure joy."
"Wow," says Bill softly.
"Exactly, wow, so immediately after this, we both look at each other smiling and kiss and I am lost. Anyway, to shorten it up a bit, the second set is better than the first and throughout it, we are gently touching and kissing in between songs."
"So, then what?" says Bill.
"Well, the show ends, the place shuts down and we go out into the night air in front of the Essex. We stand there for a bit with one arm around each other and my mind at this point is fucked. I have no idea what to do. I think the cold air brought me back to my senses and I said well I think I better get going its really late. She says yeah, Sarah may be calling and wondering where you are."
"Whoa, she knew about Sarah," said Bill.
"Yeah, she had known that since the time we met at ED's, remember,and believe it or not we had briefly talked about Sarah's and my relationship early on that night."
"So what happened," asked Bill.
"Well, we hugged, we kissed, said we would call each other and drove our separate cars home."
"Jesus, one hell of a story Randy. Have you called her?" asked Bill.
"No, but she called me yesterday."
"And......," said Bill.
"And we talked," said Randy
"About what?" queried Bill.
"About how good a time we had and how incredible the music was but both ignoring really what had gone on between us. It was a bit odd to say the least and then she asked if I would like to go out for a drink sometime soon," said Randy.
"Damn man, this is some tough shit. What did you say?"
"I said I would like that but I had to work some things out with Sarah first. I mean like, who the fuck am I kidding. Like wasn't the issue. I was dying to see her again," said Randy.
"So have you talked to Sarah?" asked Bill.
"Yeah, I have. She noticed that after she came back, I was withdrawn and moody. So eventually, she asked if something happened while she was gone. I lied and said no but that I was feeling unsure of us and I was sorry but I just didn't know what to do," replied Randy.
They both sat and stared into the mirror for a while. Bill knowing that there had to be more. Sarah was never going to accept that statement from Randy. I mean this woman was like a grand inquisitor. She had grilled Bill many times about his relationships and was clearly none to happy with his responses.
"But you know Sarah
, she is not one to let things sit," said Randy.
"No shit, I still have the cuts from the last time she gave me a going over," laughed Bill.
"Yeah, she just kept going even when I asked her to stop and so I left and called you …........"
"And so here I sit," said Randy, "and I don't know what the fuck to do."
Chapter 11
Pat had known Colleen for quite some time. She had attended the same school as Kelley and so their paths had often crossed at various parties. They had always got along well and Pat was not oblivious to the fact that Colleen had clearly often gone out of her way to dance with him and talk. However, little did he know that a casual phone call to her would drastically change his life.
He had first called her when he was back in town to see friends. At the time, he was still living with Bets though they both knew their relationship was likely coming to a close when he graduated that June. Though they loved being together, they both knew Pat's graduation was likely to be the end.
Having been disowned by his father, Pat was sleeping on the floor of his friend Jon's apartment. It was his first time back in quite a while and it felt odd to be here and not seeing Kelley though their split was long past. He had basically been just hanging out drinking and catching up with friends who were still in town but beginning to find himself bored and wishing he were back hanging out with Bets. Bets was like your favorite comfortable shirt, you could not feel bad when you were together.
Jon and his roommate Ed were having a party that night and they had asked Pat to try and get a date because the party was at the moment looking a little male heavy, " too many dicks" as Jon put it. Pat thought about calling Kelley on the chance she was not seeing anybody but quickly realized he was not up for torture. Bets, god bless her, had somewhat cured him of his Kelley fixation. They had talked about it many times and Bets had a calm and gentle way of allowing him to realize how destructive Kelley was for him. It was probably the thought of Kelley that caused Colleen to pop into his head as a possibility. He hadn't seen her in a long time but knew she was going to college in town, so he thought what the hell, she might not be hooked up with anyone.
The call went well, better than expected actually. She was free and sounded excited he thought and even thanked him for calling. So he said he would pick her up at seven and they could go get a drink before the party and catch up on what each other was doing. Pat had never been to Colleen's house before and when he got to where she said her parents house was he panicked thinking he had written the address wrong, the numbers didn't match. He stopped at a local drug store and gave her a call to check. Colleen laughed and immediately apologized. She said he was in the right place and she had just given him the wrong number. The family compound covered a block and she had given him the number for the other street that the driveway went into.
"Just come in the driveway where you were and go to the entrance to the main house and Lettie will let you in. You can come upstairs and wait in the game room, my brother is there watching TV and you can help yourself to a beer in the fridge. I'm not quite ready yet. I just got back from riding, lost track of time and I need to get the horse smell off of me. Ok, see you soon," she said.
As Pat drove back he thought to himself, holy shit, the "compound", "just got back from riding" what the hell was this girl about. I mean she always seemed pretty down to earth when we danced and talked. As he drove up the driveway, his jaw dropped and he let out a long drawn out "hooooly shit". The driveway led up to an enormous Tudor style mansion. The compound contained a few other "smaller" houses and as she had said, the driveway off in the distance went out to a completely different street than where he had entered. At this point he became intensely aware of the noise his unrepaired muffler was making and the overall shabbiness of his car, "princess and the pauper" he laughed to himself. The driveway curved up to the main entrance and he drove past the entryway feeling somehow it would be violative to park his wreck too close to the entrance. As he got out and looked around he said to himself,
"Thank god the driveway curved to the main entrance, otherwise I wouldn't have had a fucking clue where to go. Wow my friend what have you stepped into here. Ok suck it up and ring the doorbell."
The bells chimed and a heavy set black women opened the door and smiling warmly said, "Hi Pat, I'm Lettie, Colleen is still getting ready. I'll take you up to the game room and you can wait there. She said to tell you she wouldn't be long."
"A pleasure Lettie, and thanks," said Pat with a smile.
As they entered the game room, Colleen's brother Rick introduced himself. "Colleen told me to tell you to help yourself to a beer. They're in the fridge over there," he said pointing to an enormous restaurant sized cooler.
Opening the door of the "fridge", Pat was confronted with a staggering array of imported beers and some lowly Michelob off to the side. Out of some ridiculous sense of feeling out of place, he helped himself to a Michelob and ensconced himself in a heavy red leather chair.
"What are you watching Rick?" asked Pat, trying to regain his footing with some idle chat as he glanced around the game room that was far bigger than Dave's entire apartment.
"Oh, its an old western, Big Country," said Rick.
"You're kidding, one of my absolute favorites, Gregory Peck, Charlton Heston 'teach your grandmother to suck eggs'," laughed Pat. "Unbelievable cast, acting and visuals," said Pat and he was telling the truth. He could probably have quoted half the films dialogue. This moral tale set in the old west about doing what is right regardless of what others thought was one of Bill's all time favorite films.
"Yeah, my dad really likes it and so does Colleen. This is my first time seeing it and pretty good so far," said Rick.
Just then Colleen came in and she looked amazing. Her long wavy reddish hair was pulled back and she wore a short green cotton dress covering a body that literally took Pat's breath away as he rose to greet her.
"Jesus, what are you drinking a Michelob for, I'm pretty sure there is some Newcastle Brown Ale in there, isn't that your favorite?" she said.
"Oh, I must have missed it," said Pat, but he had seen it, but was too taken aback to pull it out and thought to himself, man how the hell did she remember that.
"Oh well, next time, I'll make sure we have some. Are we ready to go?" she said.
"Yep, let's hit it, nice to meet you Rick, enjoy the movie," said Pat as they headed out to the car.
"Have fun," said Lettie and she gave Colleen a wink and a smile.
"Cool car, I love it," said Colleen as they headed out the driveway.
"Yeah, I like it but the muffler is a bit beat, so sorry about the noise," said Pat.
"No worries, just adds a bit of character," laughed Colleen.
As they parked by the Crossroads, a favorite old dive bar, given what he had just seen, Pat was having some serious questions about his choice of establishment but he thought to himself, what the hell, if she can't take it, that's her problem. He was feeling a tad inadequate and thus defensive. He went around to open her door but she was already getting out.
"Wow, didn't know you were such a gentleman," she laughed and she slipped her arm in his as they headed for the door.
Pat was still feeling speechless, a truly rare occurrence for him, as he tried to process the whole scene at the "compound".
"The Crossroads, geez, I haven't been here in over month, maybe we'll see some people we know," said Colleen as Pat pulled open the heavy oak door.
The noise was deafening as the crowd of drinkers tried to talk over the sounds of classic rock pouring from the jukebox. Luck was with them as a small table opened up in the side room and they quickly grabbed it and sitting across from each other settled in and ordered a pitcher of beer.
"I'm so glad you called. I haven't seen you in such a long time," said Colleen with a smile, as she briefly touched his hand.
"God, yeah, it has been quite a while. You look terrific Colleen, life seems to be doing well by you," he
complemented.
"Wow, thanks, things are good but it kind of sucks living at home. I mean its ok, but my mom is kind of a pain in the ass. She's a little controlling, so being around her and my dad a lot gets pretty upsetting. She's not the kindest person."
Whoa she's laying it out there pretty quick. I mean we've talked but only about idle stuff before, nothing really personal, thought Pat.
"Well, I've sort of got the counterpoint, my dad has disowned me and so I am having to sleep on the floor at my friend Jon's. I guess Thomas Wolfe was right, You Can't Go Home Again, or at least I can't."
"Really, sorry, I guess that's worse. What got him so pissed off at you, I mean only if you feel like telling me."
"That's ok. It was almost inevitable, we have never gotten along and I mean never, from my earliest memories which are like two years old. Neither one of us tend to give in much and maybe like your mom he likes controlling things. With me it was never going to happen and so here I sit or actually lie on my friends floor," laughed Pat.
"Ok, enough said, no need for specifics," said Colleen, thinking to herself maybe still to touchy and I think I know anyway, maybe after a few beers she thought.
"Too our lovely parents," she said raising her glass for a toast.
"May they live to see the error of their ways or at least stop finding error in ours," added Pat as they clinked glasses.
They fell into a comfortable conversation, telling each other about the classes they were taking and what they were reading and doing for fun. Colleen waxed rhapsodic about her horse Robbie, her thoroughbred jumping horse. It seemed to be her one true passion. Pat talked mostly about books and films and conveniently left out his relationship with Betsy when asked if he was seeing someone. Colleen likewise denied any relationship involvement adding "good, so we can just have a good time tonight".
Pat was facing the wall and suddenly noticed a quick change in Colleen's face as she stared off into the bar scene. He twisted around to see what had grabbed her attention and he froze. Kelley was sitting in the other room at a table with some people. At that moment Kelley looked over at Pat, stared at him and then quickly stared back at the table. This is not good thought Pat, not good at all. He quickly turned back around to face Colleen.
