Family Affair

by Saxon Bennett

  Stella was dressed to the hilt in a white linen dress and matching high heels which immediately sunk in the gravel driveway. Peggy grabbed her arm before Stella took a dive.

  Regaining her composure, she introduced herself, "Stella Banter."

  "I'm Peggy, Addison's mother. Addison is a friend of Chase's."

  Addison stared at Stella like she might be an alien, a very tall alien.

  Upon seeing her daughter, Stella said, "What's wrong with a little concrete?" She gingerly made her way to the front gate. She gained the steps only to discover that the front yard was a series of crushed rock paths lined by blue sage and maximillan sunflowers which opened up to the veranda that was brick rather than concrete. Her heels once again sank.

  "Why are you wearing those stupid shoes?" Chase said. "Haven't you ever been to a... Addison cover your ears."

  Addison did so obediently although she stared quite pointedly at Chase's mouth.

  "A fucking barbeque?" She nodded to Addison who removed her hands from her ears. She was going to have to teach Bud that particular behavior as her anti-swearing campaign so far was a miserable failure.

  "Not one that wasn't catered, in a normal yard with concrete, little tents and wait staff," Stella replied, looking around as if all that she wished for might appear.

  "Chase, I've never been to a barbeque that wasn't catered," Addison said. In penitence she stared at the ground.

  Peggy nodded and Stella pursed her lips in triumph.

  "I guess we're all stuffed-shirt city folk," Peggy said.

  "Good God, you people need to get out more." It suddenly occurred to her that she'd never been to a barbeque like this before she met Gitana. "Wait here and I'll get you a pair of proper shoes."

  Gitana came out the door with a bowl of potato salad.

  Addison rushed over. "Let me help you."

  Gitana was delighted. "Well, hello there little darling." She handed her the bowl.

  Chase brought back a pair of sage green Crocs.

  "What are those?" Stella said, peering at them. "They're plastic."

  "Sandals and they're very popular. Put them on before you break your ankle. I don't want you suing me."

  "Speaking of which, Owen needs Gitana to sign the papers for the suit against the doctor."

  "Slimy bastard," Chase said.

  Peggy watched Addison help Gitana set up the table. "I can't get her to do a thing."

  "Chase is exactly the same way. Gitana, on the other hand, is sweet as the day is long," Stella said.

  "Grossly prosaic. One little Chase story and you're out of here," Chase said.

  Stella pursed her lips again. "Do you at least have a decent bottle of wine and preferably a glass flute and not a plastic cup?"

  "Yes, I raided your wine cellar and got a nice Pinot Noir."

  "Thank goodness," Stella said.

  "I wanted to thank you for the invite, but Dickhead couldn't come," Peggy said.

  "And I was so looking forward to meeting him," Chase said. Peggy smiled at her. She might have been a little over the top on that one but curiosity was getting the best of her. Addison had a father and she wanted to see what he was like.

  Stella gave her the look—she didn't appreciate being left out of the loop.

  "Addison's father," Chase said.

  "Oh. I had one of those as well but a timely staph infection took care of that. Imagine that," Stella said, "a gall bladder operation did him in before I got the chance to poison him myself."

  Chase, having heard the story a million times, bade them sit down and she got them both a glass of wine.

  Delia whisked by. "Hi, where's Graciela?"

  "Unloading and, I imagine, stashing her radiator," Chase replied.

  Jacinda, stroking her rosary beads, stared hard at Delia.

  "She creeps me out," Delia whispered.

  "Wait until she tries to exorcise you," Chase said.

  "Never." Delia grabbed a beer from the cooler and went to find Graciela, looking quickly behind at Jacinda.

  Chase laughed. "Where's Rosarita?" she asked Stella, who was engrossed with Peggy's tales of the evil husband.

  "Unpacking the car. She brought some strange dish— something traditional. She insisted. She's been making tortillas all morning."

  "You wouldn't want to help her or anything."

  Rosarita trundled up the stairs and started across the yard.

  Chase ran to help her. "Let me get that."

  "Oh, mija, you're a good girl."

  "Chase, you didn't tell me you got a housekeeper," Stella said, glancing at Jacinda.

  "That's Gitana's mother, Jacinda. Mother, not every brown person in New Mexico is a servant. You two should have met years ago, but all of us have been remiss in our familial duties. That's going to change." Chase had never wanted to put Jacinda through the horror of meeting Stella but with the baby coming it could not be avoided.

  Stella rolled her eyes and resumed her conversation with Peggy.

  Like with like, Chase thought.

  Jacinda and Rosarita however, hit if off. Chase didn't understand a word as they spoke in Spanish at a pace that even Chase's foreign language tapes couldn't beat. At this rate she and Bud would be learning Spanish together.

  Gitana was getting everyone settled while Delia flipped burgers and chicken breasts while instructing Graciela on the procedure. According to Graciela, Delia was a master griller. "They have a raging grill fest at her house all the time."

  Chase still imagined bacchanalian parties at Delia's place and now she was illustrating her prowess with propane at the family barbeque. Yikes!

  Addison was on hand with the platter to receive the grilled meats. It all looked so Leave it to Beaver that Chase thought she'd captured picture-perfect suburbia. This was just what Bud needed. She walked over Addison. "You make a great helper."

  "Uh, yeah, I'm on meat patrol," Addison said. She held up the platter. Her notebook fell on the patio. Her blush gave her away. She picked it up quickly.

  "You were taking notes," Chase said.

  "There were some good lines of dialogue."

  Delia and Graciela stopped talking. They stared at Addison.

  "Tell me you weren't talking about—you know what," Chase said, glaring at them.

  Graciela smiled, "Well, you little voyeur."

  "I'm doing research," Addison said.

  "Oh, crap, you're going to get me in trouble," Chase said, pointing at the two delinquents.

  "I won't tell anyone Delia writes porn," Addison said.

  "Hand them over," Chase put out her hand.

  "This is censorship," Addison said, clutching her notebook to her chest.

  "No, this is an unauthorized use of material."

  "But—"

  "I know more about publishing law than you do," Chase informed her.

  "I am nine. It's not like I don't know things."

  "Delia and Graciela know things I will never know," Chase said.

  Addison carefully tore out the new pages she'd written and handed them to Chase.

  Chase read them quickly, gasped and then rolled them up and smacked both Delia's and Graciela's heads. "This is disgusting."

  "Thoroughly enlightening, I'm sure," Delia said, smirking.

  "Just trying to help the kid out, sis," Graciela said. "It's time to pluck the meat anyway. Sorry Addison, the show's over."

  "Maybe next time?" Addison said as she stuffed her notebook into her ever-present backpack.

  "Sure," Graciela replied. She plucked off the hamburgers.

  "Do it and I'll cut out..." Chase stopped and ordered Addison, "Ears."

  Addison complied and covered her ears.

  "As I was saying I'll cut out both your vaginas with a reciprocating saw."

  "What's that?" Delia said.

  "You don't want to know, but it would do a good job," Graciela said.

  Chase nodded at Addison that it was safe to remove her hands.

  "How long do I hav
e to do this?"

  "Until you're eighteen."

  "That's a little extreme don't you think?" Addison said.

  Graciela handed her a plate of hamburgers that were remarkably unburned.

  "Those look fabulous," Chase said.

  "I had a good teacher," Graciela said, looking fondly at Delia as Addison carried the plate to the table.

  Graciela plucked the chicken breasts off next and looked around for Addison. She had been trapped by Jacinda and her face was very red from having her cheeks pinched.

  Delia, it appeared, was still contemplating the reciprocating saw. "You know I saw this video on the Internet where they took power tools and put dildos and stuff on the ends and fucked each other. It was really amazing."

  Chase grabbed the large barbeque fork out of Graciela's hand and poked Delia in the thigh.

  "Ouch!" Delia said, rubbing the spot and then pulling up her shorts to look at it.

  Addison returned with the platter. She set it down and rubbed her cheeks.

  "You left a mark," Delia said.

  "Poor baby," Chase said, taking a Wet-Wipe and cleaning the fork before she handed it back to Graciela who was smirking.

  "Did she do something bad?" Addison asked.

  "Yes. Now, let's go eat," Chase said.

  As the guests got settled, Chase wished she had asked Jacinda to bring one of her religious candles, the patron saint of hospitality. There had to be one. What could really go wrong now? She tried to assure herself. They all eat and everyone goes home happy. There was a shifting about as people took their places. Addison insisted Peggy sit by Stella because she wanted to sit between Chase and Gitana in order to be out of Jacinda's reach. Chase wanted Addison as far away from Delia and Graciela who needed to be as far away from Jacinda as possible.

  "I think this will work," Gitana said, as she surveyed the table.

  Stella was about to sit down at the end of the table. Despite her funny shoes she still looked regal. Chase saw the dogs in time to do absolutely nothing about it. Gitana followed her gaze.

  "Oh, no, Stella watch out," Gitana yelled.

  Annie and Jane came barreling through the back pasture in hot pursuit of a jack rabbit. The rabbit veered under the table and then made a sharp turn and headed toward Stella who was frozen. The dogs plowed right into her, knocking her flat. The jack rabbit hopped over her and took off, the pursuing dogs treating Stella's prone frame as simply another hurdle to cross.

  Chase peered down at her mother. "You're lucky you didn't crack open your head."

  The others stood around looking at Stella. Jacinda got down on her knees with a wet napkin. She made cooing noises as she put the cold press on Stella's forehead.

  "So much for the bad hip," Graciela whispered in Chase's ear.

  "For goodness sake's get me up," Stella said.

  Chase and Peggy helped her up and into a chair.

  "That was the biggest rabbit I've ever seen," Addison said.

  Chase closed the gate that separated the front yard from the rest of the property. The dogs had failed Socialization 101.

  Later that night, Chase had her head resting on Gitana's swollen belly. "I wanted today to be perfect for Bud, instead all we got was dysfunction."

  "It wasn't so bad except your mother's high heels sinking in the driveway..."

  "And Stella thinking your mother was our housekeeper."

  "Then there was the jack rabbit incident," Gitana said. She frowned slightly. "Three is a good number. Things happen in threes."

  "Is that why the pump went out, the leaking kitchen faucet flooded the floor and the dishwasher doesn't drain properly?" Chase said. God, we need a good plumber. She wondered if Delia or Graciela had slept with a plumber who might be contacted.

  "Exactly," Gitana said. She kissed Chase's forehead.

  "At least no one lit themselves on fire," Chase said, rubbing Gitana's belly. "I'm sorry, Bud. I strive for perfection or at least a modicum of sanity in our family life and all we get is fubars."

  Gitana ran her fingers through Chase's hair. "What do you want for Bud—Leave it to Beaver?"

  Chase looked up at her. She could lie and tell her that it wasn't so, that whatever came was all right—that they'd get through it, but that's not what she wanted. "Yes, I do."

  "Chase!"

  "I can't help it."

  "Come up here—right this minute."

  "You sound pretty authoritative. We might need that when Bud becomes a teen." Chase crawled up next to her and stroked her face. "I'm sorry."

  "This is real life, not your world. It is what it is."

  "I know that deep down I do. I'll just have to get the rest of me on board."

  "Besides, we have an interesting life with interesting people in it. That's good. Bud wouldn't like a normal life. It would be stifling. Bud is in the right family." She kissed Chase.

  Chase found it comforting. She hoped that she could do the same for Bud whenever circumstances overwhelmed the island that was to be Bud's life.

  "By the way, what does fubar stand for?"

  "Fucked up beyond all recognition," Chase replied, as she straightened up the covers. She tucked Bud in with the sheet.

  "That's lovely and perfect. I'm thinking that's one word Bud is authorized to use."

  Annie groaned which indicated it was time to stop talking and shut off the light.

  "You've got a lot of nerve, missy, considering you floored my mother." Chase reached down and scratched her ears.

  Chapter Seventeen

  "What are you looking at?" Chase said, as the dogs watched her pacing back and forth. She had all her novels out and was perusing select parts.

  Jane whined. Annie sat at attention, her head turned to one side in that quizzical way dogs have—that look of wanting to read your thoughts and ease your heart.

  "I'm fine," she assured them. "I just thought I'd go through some of my old things. I'm looking for parts of myself in my novels. If I compile all these parts I might have a more accurate picture of myself. It's not easy finding oneself, you know."

  Jane jumped up on her and tried to lick her face. "Let's just relax here. Mama still has most of her marbles." She knelt down so the dogs could lick her face. They acted like they could kiss away whatever plagued her. They ended up pushing her until she was flat on her back and Annie sat on her chest while Jane licked her face. "Hey, hey, that's enough," Chase cried, trying to push them off. She wasn't successful. Luckily, Lacey came up the stairs to the writing studio and the dogs were instantly distracted.

  "I can't believe you let them do that." She was dressed in what Chase called "town clothes."

  "It's a doggy facial."

  "Yuck." Lacey pushed Annie away as she tried to sniff her cervix. "I see clicker training was a failure. Weren't their private lessons supposed to put an end to that?"

  "I don't have the clicker with me."

  "You should have it. Where is it?"

  "In the junk drawer," Chase said, getting up.

  "Good place for it." Lacey flounced down on the couch.

  Lacey and Bo were the only two people Chase knew that flounced. It was as if their bodies collapsed like a balloon when they were in the presence of furniture.

  "Clicker training was designed to help Jane with her self-esteem training not Annie's crotch sniffing."

  "She doesn't look like she has a self-esteem problem."

  Jane had hopped on Chase's faux leather office chair and looked at them inquisitively as if to say in dog speak, "So what's on the agenda?"

  Annie spotted the much-sought-after jack rabbit and bolted out the door. Jane spun off the chair leaving it rocking in her wake as she followed her sister.

  Chase ignored their antics as commonplace. "Jane is taking an online course at the Carnegie Institute."

  "Yeah, right." Lacey looked around. "Why is it so neat and organized in here? I can actually find the couch."

  "Your perceptive abilities are outstanding." Chase gathered up h
er books and put them back in the cupboard. She didn't want the writers group to think she'd gone off to self-aggrandizement land. "It's my turn to host the writer's group." She remembered she hadn't washed out the coffeepot. Bo would be horrified if he so much as sniffed a less than sanitary decanter. She filled the sink in the kitchenette with soapy water. She pulled some cups from the overhead cabinet. They could use a washing as well, she decided.