To Have and to Trust (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 1)

by Allie Palomino

  She gently placed her hand on his head and caressed him. She caressed the wolf in him, who howled fiercely within. She felt it, didn’t know how and didn’t want to question it.

  Gavin felt her caress and inhaled sharply. He ended the kiss, looking into her liquid amber eyes that glowed golden rays. She was pure and he couldn’t take advantage of her innocence.

  “What’s the matter, Gavin?” she asked, her voice sounding distant and breathless to her own ears.

  “We canna do this,” he said, fighting with himself.

  “I can make my own decisions, Gavin,” she whispered, her eyes burning into his.

  Within the depths of her eyes, he saw her naivete. He knew despite her words of protest, she had no idea what this would progress to or to what she was giving her consent. He looked away as he fought for his morals, and for the control that he thought would never abandon him again.

  “Do ye think I’m like other women, Gavin?”

  His eyes returned to her face with haste. At that telling action, she gave a small smile. Her smile slowly faltered as the look in his eyes turned cold and deadly. His silver eyes flashed a shimmering threatening blaze instead of the passionate glow from before. She drew backwards as if he had struck her.

  “Doona ever say that to me again,” he said harshly and stood up.

  “What is the matter with ye?” she asked, a small catch in her voice.

  She saw him tense. His muscles rippled as if in battle.

  “What did she do to ye?” she asked, finally understanding.

  His hands fisted. His breathing sounded harsh as air was hastily sucked inside of flared nostrils. The air left his lungs loudly, too.

  “Keep out of it, Andie. ‘Tis none of yer damned concern,” he said and without another look to her, left the room.

  She stared at the place he had stood only moments before.

  The next morning, Andie had grown too restless. She hadn’t slept well and was tired of hiding in her chamber. She went down to the kitchen to find something to eat instead.

  “Go to the great room, Andie. I’ll jost be a second and bring ye something to eat,” Gina said.

  “Nay, Gina, but thank ye. I’m too restless. I wish to stay here,” she said, looking around the kitchen.

  “Aye, well, ‘tis all the same. We have fresh berries and creamm and fresh baked bread,” Gina said.

  Andie’s eyes opened wide. “Sounds so delicious, Gina. It smells delicious.”

  “Help yerself. I’ll be off now,” Gina said. Andie smiled as Gina hurried off and ate a little of everything. It felt as if she hadn’t eaten in years. The bread was divine. She tasted the berries, and they were sweet, tart, and juicy. After she’d had her fill, she decided to go exploring since she had nothing better to do.

  The castle was as massive inside as it was outside. She knew the outer walls were at least eight feet thick. It would take God to break through its structure. Though her castle had been beautiful, it had lacked Gavin’s extra measures of protection.

  She turned into the great hall, which was decorated with boring, muted colors. Dark grays and dark browns were everywhere from the gray stones to the brown, ugly tapestries. The tapestries hung on the walls and added little warmth to the cold room.

  The hearth was at least twice the size of a normal hearth. She was sure a couple of people would fit in there, without much trouble. The mantle was tall, practically taller than her. The height would be nothing for Gavin, though, she thought.

  Memories of her own castle’s great room flooded back to her. There had been so much warmth, color, and love. Her family would have been in there now, laughing and talking. Never had the McBride sisters been bored, for there were so many of them. She sighed shakily, remembering them. Their mischievousness always made their father chortle and their mother chastise. Her beloved sisters, Lord how she missed them. She would never see them again, any of them- not her dear sisters, not her loving mother, and not her patient father. She closed her eyes as the pain swamped her, nearly felling her to the floor.

  “Andie?”

  She hurriedly wiped her tears and blinked opened her eyes, while displaying her best false smile to Riley. “Hey Riley, what are ye up to today?” she asked, trying to sound happy but her voice was thick.

  “I saw ye crying, Andie. I’m sorry yer family is gone,” he said. He walked over to her and she kneeled down next to him. “I doona know what I would do without Papa,” he said in a small voice.

  “Thank ye, Riley. Ye are a good lad, offering me comfort.” She smiled genuinely when he straightened his back. “Ye have a good Papa, and he’ll take care of ye and protect ye. He’ll never want to leave ye,” she said, smiling at him, but her smile faltered as his eyes showed unusual sadness.

  “What’s the matter?” she asked, caressing his cheek.

  Riley shook his head, but the sorrow she saw in his brown eyes was making her heart twist. He looked down.

  “It’s alright, Riley. What is it? Ye can talk to me,” she said softly, her index finger passing over his small nose.

  He shook his head again, leaving his chin touching his chest.

  “Alright, well, then I guess ye doona want to go fishing either,” she sighed dramatically.

  His little head came up and she saw the wanting in his eyes.

  “Oh, do ye still want to go?” she asked, feigning surprise.

  He jumped up and down. “Yes, Andie!”

  “Alright then! Let’s go!” she said and took his hand, walking out.

  Andie refused to meander, though her sadness and problems weighed heavily on her. She was never one to feel sorry for herself and she wouldn’t start now. She couldn’t go help her clan until Gavin’s men came back and that would be within a fortnight. Being with Riley allowed her the peace of mind she couldn’t have by herself, so she eagerly skipped with him, out the door. He was her blessed escape from reality.

  “She’s good with him, isna she?” Gabriel asked Gavin. Gavin remained unmoving from where he stood surreptitiously watching his son and Andie. “Ye didna even jump, brother. Ye still have yer wolfish instincts,” he said, laughing.

  “Nay, ye make too much noise,” Gavin said, looking at Andie and Riley walking out.

  “I doona. I’ve slaughtered men from behind in the still of night,” Gabriel said, laughing.

  Gavin shook his head. “Ye make too much noise,” he said, turning to face Gabriel.

  “Nay, ‘tis just yer hearing that is superior,” Gabriel said, smiling at his stoic-faced brother. He wanted to goad Gavin into some other emotion, other than his usual anger.

  “Any word from Liam?” Gavin asked.

  “Nay, Gavin, no word. Is Andie pressuring ye?”

  Gavin shook his head. “Nay, but it is obvious she worries. This Alistair sounds threatening and dangerous. We must stop him. If he dares to slaughter his verra own family and clan, then his lust for power knows no bounds.”

  “D’ye think he would go after other clans? Our clan?”

  “Aye, seems like he could, but nay this soon. He needs to force the McBrides into submission, then he’ll move onto other clans. As far as him gaining control of the Maitlands,” Gavin said, his eyes glowing pale silver, “let him try.”

  Gabriel went back to his initial topic. It wasn’t even worth discussing a siege on the Maitlands. They were the most powerful clan, with more clansmen than any other. If Alistair dared to attack, he’d either never heard of the Dark Wolf or he was too stupid to appreciate the danger.

  “She does well by Riley,” Gabriel repeated.

  Gavin shrugged. “I doona like that he’s getting close to her. He doesna trust women.”

  “Neither does his father, but it seems Riley has made an exception, and perhaps his father would do well to do the same.”

  “Doona begin on this path, Gabriel, for it will leave ye lost. I’m nay looking to take a wife or a steady mistress. Women are good for one thing, and that’s for a good rut. Beyond that, t
hey’re nothing but heartless wenches and traitors after a better station in life.”

  “Gavin, ye judge all by the actions of one.”

  “They are all the same, Gabriel.”

  Gabriel ignored his comment. “Well, I suggest that ye make yer mark on her known, Gavin, for yer clansmen fairly drool over the beautiful lass. It will be only a matter of time afore they begin seeking her out.”

  Gavin’s eyes simmered with anger and glowed eerily. Gabriel didn’t miss the telling reaction. Gavin gave one last hard look at Gabriel and left while Gabriel stood back, smiling at his brother’s march of anger- and jealousy.

  “The sun is setting. Where is my son, damn it?” Gavin asked harshly. He stood in the great room, looking at the men he had gathered there. Everyone stood by in silence.

  “He was taken nay four days ago! I will nay allow it to happen again. Andie and Riley stayed on Maitland land- where the hell is my son!” he asked, his eyes glowing like glacier ice. “She took him. Find Andie McBride and bring her to me!”

  Bryce and Charlie looked at one another. Bryce, insulted by Gavin’s insinuation, would reserve comment until later, when he would be able to speak to Gavin alone. Still, no one spoke. Those who wanted to, had nothing to add. Those who had something to add, were afraid of their laird’s wrath.

  “Find them,” he said in a menacingly low whisper, his breathing harsh. Those who looked squarely at him could have sworn they saw his teeth sharpen. His eyes were glowing and there was barely any perceptible color other than the pupils that were fast dilating. “Now!” he roared and slammed his fist into the table, causing it to crack. The men dispersed, as Gabriel, Bryce, and Charlie stayed behind.

  “She would never harm a bairn,” Bryce said, his gray eyes hard. His breath was short and staccatoed.

  Gavin snapped his pale gaze to Bryce. Bryce saw the legendary Dark Wolf before him, and knew that all the tall stories said about this man, were true.

  “Gavin is concerned about Riley. He was kidnapped days ago and doesna want to lose his son,” Gabriel said, trying to diffuse the situation. His green eyes centered on Bryce. “He meant no insult, Bryce.”

  Gavin’s exhale was lengthy as he cast a scathing look at Gabriel. “I’m in nay mood to be coddled or to coddle. I want my son, and I doona give a damn what has to happen so that I have him back with me!”

  Gavin, seeming to grow in breadth and size, prowled out of the room.

  “What is his problem?” Charlie asked.

  Gabriel looked at them for a long moment. “He’s nay had it easy. He’s had much betrayal and coldness in his life.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? Are we to excuse his arse for that? There’s nay one of us who has nay had it hard,” Bryce said.

  “What about ye?” Charlie asked.

  “What about me?” Gabriel asked, reservedly.

  “Ye’re his brother. Havena ye had it hard?” Charlie asked, almost mockingly.

  “He did nay have his mother,” Gabriel said, avoiding the subject.

  “But how is that so, since ye’re his brother?” Bryce asked.

  “We share the same father. Gavin’s mother died shortly after birthing him. I was born nearly five months after her death.”

  “Yer mother didna care for him?”

  “Our father and my mother wed nay a full month after Gavin’s mother’s death. I was born shortly thereafter,” Gabriel finished. Nay wanting to go into Gavin’s past further, Gabriel said, “Just give him time. He isna a patient mon, by no measure, but he’s a good father. This clouds his reasoning.”

  “Verra well, but I tell ye, Gabriel, that Andie would never harm a bairn,” Bryce said heatedly.

  “Aye, Bryce, of that I have nay doubt,” Gabriel said.

  “Come Riley, ‘tis late! Yer father must be worried,” Andie said, walking quickly with Riley. Her hurried steps made her bounce. She nearly sprained her ankle when it bent on the side.

  “Andie, Papa willna worry. ‘Sides, look at the fish we caught!” Riley said, jumping gleefully, still holding onto Andie’s fierce grip.

  She exhaled with gusto, causing her hair to move out of her eyes. If she knew ‘Riley’s Papa,’ he would be furious if she took a minute longer than her promised time. She had told one of the men that she would be back before sundown, and he had promised to tell Gavin. As she reached another cluster of trees, men swooped in on her, making a circle.

  “McBride, ye’re ordered to be brought before the Maitland. Release the boy,” one of the men she hadn’t met, ordered.

  “But Papa knows I was with Andie,” Riley said, looking up at the tall warrior.

  “I told one of the warriors to tell Gavin that we would come back before sundown. The sun just fell, for Lord’s sake. No need to exaggerate,” Andie muttered, clearly annoyed.

  She walked alongside Riley, wondering why the damn warriors surrounded her. She didn’t hold Riley’s hand because she had been ordered to release him. Riley kept springing up and down from excitement, and she smiled after him. He was such a joyful boy. She looked around her and the men’s faces were as fierce as a lightning storm.

  “Why are ye all so stone-faced?” Andie asked, making a face.

  No one looked at her. She muttered under her breath again and kept walking. Once she reached the castle steps leading up to the door, the door burst open and Gavin stepped out. She almost shivered from the coldness of his stare.

  “Papa! Look! Andie and I caught all these fishes!” Riley exclaimed in excitement, running up the steps with four small fish that would barely feed a child of Riley’s size.

  Andie saw Gavin’s gaze warm at the sight of his son. He crouched lower, to Riley’s level.

  “Those look like hearty fish, Riley,” Gavin said, smiling.

  Andie looked at Gavin, marveling at how his face changed so dramatically when he smiled. She wished, for once, that he would smile at her instead of scowling all the time.

  “Fishes, Papa!” Riley said.

  “Fish. Whether it’s one fish or a hundred, it’s fish,” Gavin said, holding back a smile as his son grew irate.

  “Andie said the same thing, Papa. Both of ye are wrong!” Riley said. “Both of ye think ye know it all,” he said and marched into the castle in a puff of irritation, looking much like his father.

  Gavin laughed and then looked up. His face became harsh at once when his eyes met Andie’s. Gavin straightened from his kneeling form and just stared at her. His eyes, she could see even from this small distance, were fairly glowing white. She crossed her arms in response. Gavin arched an eyebrow.

  By this time, Gabriel, Bryce, and Charlie were outside on the steps. Gavin and Andie, the esteemed and much anticipated actors, were on their marks, each waiting for the cue to come from the other to begin the scene. Gabriel, Bryce, and Charlie were patiently waiting for the show to begin. And what a show it promised to be!

  “The sun just fell, Gavin,” Andie began the scene. She grew tired of waiting for Gavin to take his cue and begin his lines. She continued with her script, “‘Tis nay even a hair’s breath past,” she said, tapping her foot in annoyance. She blew her breath up again, and the fly-aways flapped in a frantic explosion over her forehead.

  Gabriel hid his smile. So the lightning storm would begin anew.

  “Where did ye take my son?” Gavin asked, coldly. He had hesitated not a moment after Andie’s lines.

  Andie uttered a sound that seemed like a combination between a groan and a scream. “For Heaven’s sake, Gavin, ye know I went fishing with him,” she said, frustrated. Her eyes were now a rich amber and Gavin could have sworn he saw red flames there.

  “We-went-fish-ing,” she said slowly, annunciating every syllable as if Gavin was a dimwit.

  “That’s obvious, Laird McBride, but where did ye take him. Ye’ve been gone the whole day.”

  She looked to the side and cocked her head slightly, as if she couldn’t believe her ears, then turned her head back to Gavin.


  Beautifully executed, Gabriel thought, hiding a smile.

  “Are ye dense, mon? Of course it’s been all day. Do ye know how difficult it is to catch fish, especially since I doona like placing worms on the hook? Yes, it’s been near all day. That much,” she said, now lifting a pointed index finger to her sunburned crimson face, “is obvious!”

  Gavin noticed her red face then, since he’d only been focused on her eyes. They had steadfastly held his attention, with their red flames. Now that he zoomed out to look at her whole face, he saw Andie’s sunburn. He almost flinched; it looked very painful. Add that to her healing bruises and he knew she was in pain.

  “‘Tis just a little past sundown,” Andie said, crossing her arms.

  “Why do ye keep mentioning sundown?” Gavin asked, irritably.

  “Because I told one of yer men that I’d be back with Riley at sundown. I knew that ye would worry if I kept him out past then,” she said, still eyeing him in a challenge.

  “I never received yer message,” he said, in a challenging voice of his own.

  Andie looked around and frowned.

  “I doona see him here,” Andie said.

  “How convenient,” Gavin said, arching his brow again.

  “Ye know, Gavin, if ye arch yer brow any higher, it’ll join yer hairline,” Andie said, pouting her lips.

  Gavin looked straight-faced at her, pausing for a pregnant moment. “What was his name, Andie?” he asked her.

  “I didna ask, Gavin. I told him to tell ye that I would return at sundown. I didna think that he’d have a hard time understanding what to do, considering ye’re his only laird,” Andie said sarcastically.

  Gavin let out a long, frustrated breath. “I will find out the truth, Andie.” With that, the scene ended as Gavin turned around and entered into the castle. Andie groaned and walked away, heading for the stables.

  “Where are ye going, lass?”

  “I’m going to take a ride, Bryce. I need time alone,” she said, more than a little exasperated. Bryce watched her amble heavily towards the stables.