To Have and to Trust (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 1)

by Allie Palomino

  When she looked at him, she was comforted by the tenderness she saw in his eyes. They were glowing again, and it seemed like platinum rays swam in the depths of his eyes.

  “I know ye’re afraid, Andie. I’ll go slowly; I’ll be tender. I promise ye,” he said, squeezing their united hand.

  She gave him a trembling smile. “I know ye will, Gavin. I trust ye,” she whispered.

  He was so moved by the trust she easily gave him. He nuzzled her neck and rubbed his thumb in her palm. He slowly picked his head up and began to kiss her again. It was a sweet and tender kiss.

  Gavin began to kiss her neck and she moaned. His hand cupped her breast and she inhaled swiftly. Moving to the other side of her neck, licking and sucking, he nibbled lightly.

  Slowly he moved down to her breast. He licked her nipple over the shift and she groaned. Licking her nipple until it was a hard bead, he took the hard nipple in his mouth and suckled.

  The sensation was so intense, she arched her back and scratched his, letting out a loud moan. His warm mouth was playing havoc on her control. It felt so good to her, driving her near the point of madness.

  He began to roll up her shift, slowly exposing her body to his hungry eyes. Her skin tingled from the sensation of the shift gliding over her sensitive skin. Goosebumps were left behind, leaving a trail of pleasure-touched skin. He eased it slowly over her head.

  She was so beautiful.

  She stole his breath away.

  Andie had perfect thighs, round, lush hips, and a tiny waist. Her stomach was soft, just as he liked. He wanted to lick her there. Her breasts were round and firm. They weren’t small, but not overly huge. They were perfectly sized for her. And for him.

  She was the epitome of perfection.

  And she would be his.

  Gavin began to feast on her breasts. Her moans drove him to distraction. As for Andie, she was so heady with passion, she didn’t know what to do.

  “Gavin,” she panted.

  “Hmmm?” he asked, reveling in the smell and taste of her.

  “Gavin, please,” she asked, not knowing what she wanted but demanding that he give it to her.

  He looked up to her and saw her impassioned gaze. Her eyes were mostly golden with emerald crystals mixing in the molten gold. Her eyelids were heavy and her face rosy. Her lips were plump and juicy, and he wanted to drink from them.

  He moved up and kissed her mouth. Already impassioned as she was, the kiss escalated to a ravenous level. The kiss was carnal and savage. Her nails were scoring his back and her legs were restless.

  He left her lips and trailed kisses down her body, despite her moans of protest and pleasure. He spread her knees apart gently and she complied, too high on passion to resist.

  He needed to know if she was ready for him. He needed to know the taste of her. His cock throbbed a violent pulse that nearly had him exploding at the sight of her parted thighs.

  He dipped his head down and licked her core.

  “Gavin!” she hissed. She grabbed his head and strung her fingers through his hair.

  He licked her slowly, then increased the speed, mimicking what his cock was aching to do. He moved back and looked at her.

  “Do ye like this, Andie,” he asked, his voice dark and his eyes blazing with passion. He slipped a finger in her and pulled it out, taking the moisture and spreading it around her folds.

  She was so wet.

  His senses were heightened and sensitive. Smell, taste, sight, hearing- all were on overload picking up the slightest difference in taste, sound, scent. His nostrils flared, inhaling her unique fragrance.

  “Yes!” she gritted, panting and writhing on the bed.

  She looked down at him and stopped breathing.

  Dear Lord, he looked wicked. He eyed her as he would eye his prey- with glowing eyes centered on her. He was breathtakingly beautiful, so much so, she couldn’t breathe. A want so fierce slammed into her and she inhaled a long, shaky breath. He gave her a sexy, sultry, knowing grin and dipped his head low again to lick her.

  She began trembling, her moans at a crescendo. He felt her tighten up and heard her panting. She couldn’t believe what he was doing to her. It was so intimate, so erotic. She thought she would burst into a million different pieces. She felt so tense, as if there was a coil, a spring, ready to splinter into action.

  And then she did.

  She let out a moan that was filled with awe and wonder, and said his name over and over in a chant, as if in prayer. A violent rapture spread through her body. It was intense.

  Warmth flooded her.

  It was so amazing, she almost cried. She panted, slowly falling down from the Heaven he’d sent her to. He waited until her last spasm stopped and trailed kisses up to her navel. He licked her navel and felt her tremble. He trailed more kisses up to her breasts, licked them, and then went to her neck. Once he lavished attention to all those delicious points of her body and revered them, he kissed her. He stopped suddenly, moved his head away from hers and stared into her honeyed eyes. She was looking at him.

  She was in awe.

  “Is that what it’s like?” she asked slowly. She gazed intently into his pale, glowing eyes. The molten honey in her gaze was oozing over him in thick comfort.

  He shook his head.

  “What then?”

  “It gets better, my heart.”

  The endearment slid off his tongue before he could stop it. The intensity that she made him feel was mind-shattering. The endearment, for some unknown reason, fitted the moment, fitted her.

  Her own eyes glowed at his tenderness and use of the endearment. Warmth rolled through her body as it had only moments before. Feeling as if a warm blanket surrounded her, she responded.

  “Then ye’ll surely kill me,” she said seriously.

  He threw his head back and laughed, then looked down at her. He grew serious, as he spoke. “Nay, love, never that, but close. I willna harm ye, but it may hurt. I havena been with an innocent before,” he said tenderly.

  “So it’ll be yer first time, too?” she said, slowly showing a lopsided smile. He laughed and looked at her so tenderly, she wanted to cry.

  Something within him melted as he studied at her. She was so amazing, he’d never met another woman like her. He felt different with Andie. She was a rarity- a rarity he didn’t want to examine too closely, for he feared this was all a great dream.

  “Aye, love, that it will be. I’ll be gentle and I’ll go slow. I promise ye,” he said.

  She nodded her head. “I told ye that I trust ye,” she said softly.

  He positioned himself over her. He could feel sweat already forming on his skin. God, let him go slow. He didn’t want to hurt her but he’d never been with a virgin. He almost felt as if this were his first. Ever. He felt as green as the Highland grass outside.

  He positioned his manhood outside her opening, easing slowly in. She began to moan. Sliding further in, going very slowly, she began to move in restless yearning. She was inching up, trying to get him deeper within her.

  “Nay, love, it’ll hurt that way. Let me ease gently,” he said, grinding his teeth together. She was so tight and all he wanted to do was slam into her haven until he released.

  Control, damn it!

  Andie, however, was beyond listening to him. The only thing she heard was the buzz of passion in her ears.

  She wanted him.

  Utterly.

  Completely.

  She arched higher, raised her legs around his hips, and drove upwards. She pushed against her maidenhead and a strangled cry came out of her throat. Her bottom fell to the bed again, the pain so horrible.

  Gavin clenched his jaw, his forehead perspiring profusely. The sweet agony was more than he could take. His chest heaved from the force of his breath, caused by the shear pleasure of his shaft sheathed tightly, oh so tightly, in her hot, wet core.

  He was fully imbedded in her now.

  She was so damned tight.

  So
damned hot.

  So damned wet.

  He could have come with that one thrust alone, but he didn’t.

  The primal, animalistic instincts that wanted to howl at his pleasure slowly ebbed. He got his breathing under control and opened his eyes. He wanted to go slow to avoid this, but Andie had a different plan. He looked down at her and saw her tears. She was crying and whimpered.

  He cradled her head close to his shoulder.

  “I’m sorry, baby,” he said, in a sorrowful, hoarse whisper. He really hadn’t wanted to hurt her, but she was so eager. He closed his eyes, wishing he could take her pain away.

  His heart broke at the thought of her in pain. He realized that he cared more for Andie than he previously thought, and this scared him.

  “It’s my fault,” she said meekly.

  “Nay, ye’re an innocent, love. Shhh, it’ll go away,” he said, placing kisses on her tear-streaked cheeks and neck. He nuzzled her slowly, trying to offer her comfort.

  After a long moment, she let out a shaky breath. “It’s easing now,” she said shyly.

  He broke away from his hold on her and looked down. Her eyes were bright and her face flushed.

  “Feeling better,” he said, concern swimming in his eyes. They were a darker silver now, caused by his worry.

  She nodded.

  “Tell me if I hurt ye, Andie.”

  She nodded her head again, leaning up to kiss him.

  He began the rhythm of love. He slowly eased out of her tight sheath and sank back in. She arched her back and her neck, leaving the column of her neck exposed. She looked up at him from heavy eyelids.

  Erotic.

  Looking at her like that was so sensual. Her eyes were barely open, yet she watched him beneath her hooded gaze. He slid out and back in again. He closed his eyes as the pleasure wove itself through every fiber of his being. She was so tight. He groaned, his head still thrown back.

  “Faster, Gavin,” she said, moving her hips.

  He had neither the intention nor the desire to deny her.

  He withdrew and thrust in quickly. She raised her hips to meet him, and he lost control. He began to thrust into her at an intense and passionate speed. She sheathed him so tightly, he felt her every flex, her every shudder.

  His head was thrown back as ecstasy pulsed through his veins. He gritted his teeth. Fire raced through his veins, making him feel stronger, invincible.

  Crazed.

  “Gavin,” she moaned.

  Her moans echoed in his head, surrounding him. He moaned as he felt the passion elevate within him. He groaned from the pleasure of her moist, hot sheath.

  She scored his back.

  Gavin was beyond control. Their lovemaking was the best he’d ever experienced. It was tender yet savage and passionate.

  He felt her tighten, chanting his name again, and scoring his back with her nails.

  “Gavin!” she pleaded.

  “Let it go, baby. Release yerself,” he said, clenching his jaw. His nose caught scent of her perfume, making him heady with fierce passion.

  He felt her first ripples of pleasure- pure Heaven.

  He felt himself coiling, ripping out of control. He let out a fierce growl.

  “Oh, Gavin,” she groaned.

  They stared at one another’s eyes, the intensity so immense and their emotions so bare. Pale platinum eyes met molten honeyed ones.

  Time passed by the barest of seconds, barest of moments.

  Andie shattered and held onto him tightly. Before he lost control, he withdrew from her and spent himself on the bed.

  He was breathing harshly. He leaned down his forehead in the crook of her neck. She, too, was trying to catch her breath.

  She sobbed quietly. He looked up at her.

  “I’m so sorry for yer pain, Andie. Would ye like me to get something for ye?” he asked, wracked with guilt.

  The tenderness in his gaze made her cry a little harder.

  “I’m nay crying because of that,” she whispered.

  “Then why?” he asked, wiping her tears.

  “Because it was so magical, so…so beautiful, Gavin,” she said in a wondrous tone. “It was amazing, so incredible!” she said. She brought her hands on either side of his face. “It felt amazing, so unlike anything I’ve felt before. Thank ye.”

  Looking at her for a long moment, he wished this night would last forever.

  “Nay, doona thank me, Andie. ‘Tis I who should thank ye. Ye gave me yer greatest gift,” he said. That realization hit him hard. That she should choose him to be her first lover.

  And last, his head roared.

  He leaned down to kiss her swollen lips to stop anymore talk. He was confused, his feelings stripped bare after their intense mating.

  After a couple of minutes passed, she asked naively, “Why did ye withdraw?”

  He hesitated in giving his answer, letting out a sigh instead, and looked into her honeyed-gaze. “Because I’ve nay wish for more children,” he said.

  “With me, ye mean?” she asked, and he could have sworn she looked hurt.

  “Nay, Andie, nay more children. Ever. With anyone.”

  He moved next to her and settled on his back. She rested herself on her elbow, looking down at him.

  “Why nay? Children are special, beautiful. Ye’re such a great father and Riley needs a playmate,” she said.

  He shook his head. “Nay, Andie. Please, let’s nay speak of this now. Ye must be tired.”

  She nodded her head and lay back down on the bed, on her back. Feeling as if she were an ocean away, Gavin pulled her close and rested her head on his chest. He closed his eyes as the rapture of their fierce lovemaking dwindled to a lazy languor. He held her close to him, close to his heart. He felt so satiated, but as he thought of their passionate and intense lovemaking, he felt himself spring into life again.

  He felt so invincible.

  He felt so complete.

  But never, never, had he felt this lost.

  Chapter Five

  Gavin had fallen asleep. He opened his eyes slowly. What had woken him up?

  Gavin felt so relaxed and languorous, it was difficult to move. What happened?

  He looked over to his side, and memories assailed him.

  He’d made love to Andie. It hadn’t been a dream.

  The covers fell below her full breasts as she slept beside him. He grew hard instantly, as if by magic. She was magic. Memories of their passionate love play came to him and he began to crave her.

  She, however, was locked in another nightmare. She was whimpering, her head moving back and forth.

  “Andie,” he said slowly. He wanted to wake her up gently. “Sweet Andie,” he whispered softly.

  Her eyes flew open and she looked at him. Immediately, she grew red with embarrassment.

  “Gavin,” she breathed and looked away.

  He smiled.

  “Nay need to be shy with me now, Andie,” he said softly, caressing her cheek.

  Her eyes came back to meet his. She gave him a shy smile.

  “Are ye all right?” he asked, still caressing her cheek.

  “Yes,” she said, her voice sounding hollow to her own ears.

  He wished he could chase her demons away. He leaned down to give her a tender kiss on her lips.

  “Ye’re amazing, my sweet Andie.”

  She shivered and her eyes grew dark. She inhaled sharply, looking away. “Please, doona call me that.”

  He wondered what had come over her when she became distant and aloof. It happened swiftly, from one moment to the next.

  “What’s the matter?”

  When she didn’t meet his eyes again and was still looking away, he moved on top of her. Still, she didn’t meet his gaze.

  “Andie?” he asked, wondering what came over her.

  He moved her head back to him. She met his gaze and he saw the emptiness and fear there. Tears threatened to fall.

  “It’s what he called me,” she said, h
er voice trembling.

  “Who? What?”

  “Sweet Andie,” she whispered.

  “Yer father called ye that? I’m sorry, I-”

  She shook her head. “Nay, my father didna call me that.”

  “Then who?” he asked, jealousy swimming in his chest.

  “Alistair.”

  He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  She shook her head. “Ye didna know, Gavin. ‘Tis just that every time I hear that, ah, endearment, it gives me shivers and I want to vomit. The way he always said it to me. He was so vile, even when we were younger. He always looked at me as if there was a joke that only he knew about. Many times, he would catch me alone and I would feel awkward, trapped. He would try to fondle me.” Andie exhaled nervously.

  He looked at her, his eyes touching all points of her face.

  “I just never want to hear that again,” she said through her teeth.

  “I willna call ye that again, Andie. I promise ye,” he said, still looking at her.

  She nodded, but still her eyes were sad.

  “I willna let him harm ye, Andie. Ye willna have to see him again,” he vowed.

  She gave him a half smile. “I think that is inevitable.”

  He narrowed his gaze. “Why?”

  “I have to retake my clan, Gavin. I will have to face him.”

  He relaxed at her answer. He couldn’t help the natural skepticism that he’d worn as a second skin for years now. He rested back again and brought her within the circle of his arms.

  “I will have to leave soon.”

  Gavin feared that she wouldn’t understand, but she nodded her head, dispelling his doubts. “I canna have yer reputation damaged because of our night together.”

  The smile she threw at him stopped his breath. “I understand, Gavin. I appreciate yer concern for me.”

  “Ye are so beautiful, my Andie, so beautiful.” He dipped his head down to kiss her.

  And they made love again.

  It was tender and sweet, different from their earlier love-making. While just as satisfying, if not more so, it lacked the wildness from before. It was gentler, slower, and more loving.

  Andie had described it as beautiful.

  It shook Gavin to his core.

  “Ye look well satisfied, but tired,” Gabriel noticed when Gavin rose the next morning. “What wench did ye bed last night?” Gabriel asked, laughing. “If she was that good, mayhaps I should give her a try.”