To Have and to Trust (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 1)

by Allie Palomino

  “I sense restlessness in you, Xander. Why?”

  “You should know, Sarai. You know everything.”

  She gave him a patient smile. Her pale violet irises flashed briefly, showing a hint of annoyance. “Actually, I don’t know. I don’t obsess over your life. I have my own.”

  “What is it that you sense, Sarai?” his voice mocked.

  “Restless energy within you. Energy that wants to be calmed, almost as if it’s looking for a home without direction.”

  He looked at her with lifted eyebrows. His fangs seemed longer when he responded, “How very poetic, Sarai.”

  She let the silence drag on for a second. “Have you been dreaming much of her lately?”

  His head snapped up, eyes glowing. “How do you know?” At her wry smile, he shook his head. “Right. My mistake.”

  “Well?” she prompted further. Her red lips pursed, waiting for a response.

  “Yes, I’ve dreamt of my nadima, but all I see are her eyes. Green. They are a vibrant, emerald green. And they are disturbingly sad.”

  She nodded her head. “It is about time you dream of her. You should have had offspring by now, but you weren’t ready.”

  “Ready? I’ve walked this earth for centuries and ruled with my father when he was alive. I’m powerful, efficient, and strong, but I’m a king without my mate. I think I’m mature enough,” he ended dryly. “You must not have agreed.”

  “I alone do not always decide fate, Xander.” She stopped when he laughed humorlessly.

  “Alright, I’ll give you that much. You and Fabian and Anneigh and Toran and Erielle decide.”

  “Sometimes I am more powerless than you believe, Xander. There are times that I wish I did not know things that I do because I cannot always control them.” That was all the concession she would grant him.

  To outsiders, the Coven was something mystical and enigmatic, and it was rare when Sarai discussed it. Now was no exception, even with the Vampirian King in front of her.

  He looked at her curiously. “What do you know about my nadima, Sarai?”

  She hesitated a moment and he saw it.

  “Tell me. Now.”

  He was impatient and she felt the possessiveness coil within him. It would be a while before he met her, though.

  Sarai sighed and made a face. “I cannot disclose information about her, Xander, you know this. I am free, however, to deliver to you important information. The Coven has had a clear vision, a disturbing one.” She paused, her tone alerting Xander to the graveness of her news. She looked up at him. “A child of our royal blood must be born soon.”

  She waited for the explosion and wasn’t left waiting long.

  “What the fuck are you talking about, Sarai? I haven’t even met her yet!” His eyes were glowing.

  “The Lythorians are planning something. We haven’t been able to see this clearly without Blacky, but we know that something critical will happen. To balance these forces, you must have a child, Xander. Soon.” The graveness in her voice made him pause.

  “This is serious, then.”

  Sarai nodded. “Anneigh, particularly, is very concerned.”

  “The Lythorians are still escaping the Underealm in large numbers,” he told her, though she already knew.

  “Yes. Rjordin has Blacky and that’s the key to opening and closing the portal.” She paused and focused back on his face. Her eyes flashed again. “That is why it is crucial to balance the forces in our favor. We need your offspring, Xander. Your offspring will tip the scale for us and the Vampisapiens.”

  He laughed out of pure irony. “Ok, let me get this straight, then. The FATES have kept my nadima from me all of these centuries, right? Now I am finally dreaming of her and I am to have a child with her soon? This is fucking ridiculous! What am I to do when I meet her? ‘Hi, my name is Xander, you are my mate, now let’s go fuck and procreate? I have a deadline, you know, and you’re my babymama.’ Get real, Sarai!”

  “Don’t kill the messenger, Xander.”

  “I kill the messenger only when she is responsible for the news.”

  “Watch yourself, King,” she warned, her pale violet eyes flashing to red. Somewhere, lightning struck.

  “Fucking incredible. I’ve been denied my nadima and now I’m to meet her and screw her until I get a child. ASAP! Sarai, have you forgotten how weak our females grow during the their ambrancies? Have you forgotten how common miscarriages are? Better yet, have you forgotten how many females die in labor?” His voice was booming, curt and hostile. He sounded every bit the king that he was- alpha male in full regalia.

  “Xander, I’m well aware of how fragile they are. It is my hope that this will be overcome in your case, FATES willing. All we know is that for the forces to be balanced, your child must be born. Once your mate is ambrasant and gives birth, we will all be stronger.”

  He stood there lost in thought. “My princes may find their mates and breed.”

  She shook her head. “It must be your offspring, not that of the princes. If they breed children, better for us, but your child is crucial in the balance of power.”

  He snorted.

  “Update me on the Houses. What’s going on?” she asked, switching topics now that she had gotten that explosive bit of news over-with.

  Xander shrugged. “There’s nothing to tell. We’ve been making progress on the war- amortisizing the Lythorians in mass quantities,” he said, smiling. He let the issue of his nadima go for a minute. “Vampisapiens have not helped the cause.”

  She grimaced.

  “You and Anneigh should have no complaints. We’ve permanently destroyed more bastards the last few months than before.”

  Sarai smiled, showing her fangs. “What about my princes? How do they fair?” she asked, one eyebrow shooting upwards.

  He laughed darkly. “Sarai, you are transparent. They aren’t interested.”

  “That’s not what I’m asking, King,” she said, sounding peeved. They were the finest group of muscled fighters and she wanted them. In a bad, carnal way.

  “Lucien? Has he been dreaming of a mate?”

  Xander laughed. “Come now, Sarai. You and I both know that the last thing he wants is a nadima.”

  She sighed pensively, reserving comment. “What about the others? They fare well? We need more warriors, Xander.”

  Xander groaned. “I know, but we are selective, Sarai. The princes and I have decided on criteria for picking them. They must be battle material, not cowards. It’s embarrassing to say, but there are some Vampirian males who are an abomination. They should be waving a wand and not wielding a knife. If they come to us without training or skills, we turn them away. They are too much of a liability if they don’t know how to duke it out.” He sighed and shook his head. “I wish there was a better way to pick them. Until then, we make do. The Houses are doing what they can. As for the half-breeds, FATES only know what, if anything, they’re doing to stop the Lythorians.”

  Sarai couldn’t argue with him. He and the princes were damn good at what they did. They save their races from chaos.

  “What about my leaders, my princes?”

  “Arran fights hard, and when he’s not in battle, he’s charming the ladies, as usual. Alek is hard and non-yielding military steel. I can count on him for planning and strategizing- very important since Lythorians began assaulting humans with more frequency. Has the Coven discovered why?”

  She shook her head. “Not yet. We are trying but Erielle is very tired. If we had Blacky, it would be easier. Prognostications would be easier. Everything would be easier.”

  He nodded, knowing that the strong psychic paid a heavy toll for her prophecies.

  “We’ll work on getting Blacky but it’s not an easy feat since Rjordin has it.”

  She returned to her questioning.

  “What about Reichen and Nikolai?” she asked, her voice curious, but had a catch to it. They were the most volatile and unpredictable of the princes.

  “Ar
ran’s brother is his opposite. Reichen is what he’s always been, Sarai. Keeps to himself, cold, lethal, a loner.”

  “Will he turn?” she asked, almost hesitantly.

  Xander sighed and shook his head briefly. “He’s not in jeopardy of turning Lythorian, though I see him moving there slowly. He struggles daily to control his rage. He’s powerful and unpredictable. Massive,” Xander said taking another shot of whiskey. “Incredibly lethal.”

  Sarai smiled. “Yes, he is massive.” Her eyes glowed briefly. “And lethal.”

  Xander laughed. “I wouldn’t try it with him, Sarai. He’s grown hard and has no interest in letting anyone run his life. He’s content to be alone.”

  “What about Nikolai?”

  It took Xander minutes before he was ready to answer. Sarai noticed his pause.

  “Is he close to turning?” When Xander didn’t answer quickly enough, she asked her question again more forcefully.

  “Is he close to turning, Xander? Answer me.”

  Xander sighed. “Yes.”

  “How close?” Sarai asked.

  Xander thought about his once content and peaceful friend. Who Nikolai used to be and who he is now, are two very different Vampirians.

  “You know what he’s gone through, Sarai. You cannot expect him to be normal. He’ll make it through this- the princes and I will help him.”

  “It’s been two years, Xander!” she said, her eyes flashing. She paced and sighed as if impatient. “I know the blackness within him grows.”

  “Damn you!” he roared. “Don’t blame him for reacting the way he has to the hand the FATES dealt him! We’ll take care of the fucking problem if one arises! He’s one of us and we take care of our own.”

  “He’s still into the black?” Sarai asked, meaning magic.

  “Yes.”

  “The Dark One must be controlled, Xander. It will be you who hunts him if he turns.” Sarai turned away, taking calming breaths. If one of her princes turned, hell would break loose.

  “Let’s get back to business, Xander,” she said, facing him.

  He sighed in frustration, wanting to end the conversation. Damn, but he was tired of her bitching.

  “I don’t want to waste my time rescuing this hu-man.” He annunciated the last word distastefully.

  “You try my patience, Xander. You aren’t in control here- I am. And I order you to go to her. Protect her.”

  He swooshed the liquid in the shot glass and watched its amber fluidity dance with the glow of the numerous candles Sarai loved to light. He looked around briefly, in an attempt to calm his rising, brooding anger. White. The color, or rather, lack of color, surrounded them everywhere.

  “Funny, Sarai, I thought I was king. I don’t take orders.”

  She held onto her patience. “You are king at my pleasure, Xander. I can take that away.”

  He smiled knowingly. “I am the only direct descendant left of Zodai.”

  “No, you’re not. He was my father. I ascended to become Enchantress of the Vampirians, but I can easily leave the position and rule as Queen. And,” she said pausing, narrowing her gaze, “send you to the Underealm.”

  He laughed. Her eyes flashed to red at his disrespect. His darkened to black, in response, and then returned to aqua.

  “Sarai, as Enchantress you have the final word on all of our fates. For that, I respect you.” He bowed, but she wasn’t sure if he was mocking her. “But I am King. To banish me to the Underealm would fuck everyone over and you know it. My warriors would follow me. They are loyal to me. We know what happens when there is no leader and the Houses are left unto themselves. Just look at Anneigh’s half-breeds. Capone and Gotti look like boy scouts compared to them.” He smiled coldly. “I’m not a fucking psychic but that much I can predict.”

  Sarai’s ire was rising. She wouldn’t lose this argument. She wouldn’t lose Anneigh’s IOU.

  “Getting back to my order,” she snapped. “She’s important to the races’ future. If the Vampisapiens find out about her, her life will be in danger. It’s only a matter of time before the Lythorians discover that she lives.” Sarai bit her tongue and cursed herself at the slip, though Xander didn’t seem to notice. “She needs your protection. Not to mention that she will die when conversion comes upon her.”

  “The half-breeds will kill her? Big fucking surprise. Why the hell isn’t Anneigh here asking me?”

  Sarai patiently walked to her lounge and, once settled, she leisurely arranged her white gown. “I thought it best that I speak to you,” she said. “And I was right,” she said, indicating his angry outbursts.

  He had nothing to say about that.

  “She doesn’t have her mother or father. She has no family. There is no one to protect her. Furthermore, it isn’t easy on the human body to convert itself to ours, Xander. You must go to her. Protect her.” Her voice shook at her last words.

  “Tell your cousin to use her own princes.”

  Her eyes flared. “Have you not listened to what I’ve been saying! They will kill the girl!” Sarai snapped. “Anneigh’s Houses are still riddled with inconsequential fighting over control and power. The House of Remonai, the Vampisapien equivalent of your house, is struggling for control again.”

  He thought about that for a moment, but lifted an eyebrow to the word ‘equivalent.’

  “I cannot go. I have to find my nadima, remember? Within the next few years I have to fuck her endlessly and have my royal heir,” he said dryly.

  “You will go to her,” Sarai said, dusting her gown as if there were crumbs on it.

  “Why her? What is it about her that endangers her life? Why is this one so important? What does her future hold?”

  “I cannot answer these questions, Xander, and well you know it. Besides, I give orders and I don’t expect them to be questioned,” she said, her voice now echoic. She looked at the glyph below his left ear on his neck, and to the matching one on the inside of his left wrist.

  Her white gown floated around her as she rose and walked over to her crystal globe. As she stood near it, it flashed violet and then cleared. She rested her eyes on him.

  “You will go,” she said, not as a question.

  He clenched his jaw. “Alright, Sarai, I will go,” he said tightly. “But I will not aid her through conversion.”

  He thought he saw steam come out of her ears.

  “Xander-”

  “No.” That one word, so staccato on the tongue, reverberated in the room. “I will not agree to that distasteful duty. I don’t know what to do and I don’t want the responsibility.”

  “Cry baby!” She cooed. “It’s instinctual!” Sarai paused, measuring him with her stare. “Alright. Fine. The most important thing is to keep her safe. You will protect her at all costs. When her conversion comes, you will call on me, Anneigh or Sergei. But you will tell her what she is- vampire.”

  The minutes seemed to slip by as he stared at her, judging the truth of her words. She held her breath.

  “Agreed. What is her name and where is this VIP human?”

  “Her name is Eleina Masters. She is of the Vampisapien House of Remonai, which she will eventually lead. She’s from a Midwestern farm town, but hasn’t lived there since she was a child. She now lives in Chicago and works,” Sarai said with a shudder, “at a library.”

  “The proverbial human nerd,” he said dryly, thinking.

  She stepped away from the crystal globe and fluffed her hair. Her fangs showed as she opened her mouth to sip her White Russian. The imprint of her red lips stained the martini glass.

  “I have my orders. Protect some unimportant human and tell her she’s a vampire.” He snorted. Xander fixed glowing, angry eyes on Sarai. “You better have been truthful with me, Sarai. If you’ve lied to me or kept something very important from me,” he laughed, not out of humor, “the consequences will be felt. Earthquakes will be a mere tremble compared to my rage.”

  With tight lips, she snapped, “Find the girl.”
>
  Infuriated, he walked over to the window overlooking her maze garden. White flowers sprung randomly from the bushes.

  Breathing heavily, Xander thought about finding and protecting this female. How was he going tell, much less convince, a human that she was going to turn into a vampire- that she was going to have long teeth to drink blood with, have special powers, but keep some of her own human traits?

  And, oh yea, keep her safe when she runs hysterically away from him, screaming.

  Right. As humans say, this was going to be the proverbial walk in the park.

  Chapter Two

  Downtown Chicago, midnight

  A month later

  Ellie cut through the empty park. Her car was in the shop for the fourth time in two months. Shaking her head, she knew she should have bought a foreign car rather than a domestic.

  She huddled closer in her khaki pea coat. It was well worn but provided the warmth she needed for this chilly fall night. Winter was starting early this year, and she sighed. No matter how long you’ve been here, the cold was just too much to bear.

  She looked around, held onto her purse more tightly, and made sure her backpack was secure. Hand firmly gripping her mace, she continued her brisk walk, wishing that the time would pass more quickly so that she could finally graduate. She was physically exhausted from juggling work and school- being a full-time Ph.D. student, part-time research assistant to her professor, and full-time librarian.

  Hearing a noise to her right, she looked over as her heart drummed loudly in her ears. For the last two weeks, she’d felt as if she was being watched. Goose bumps broke out on her skin. She exhaled suddenly, and smiled. To her relief, it was just Harry, the park’s resident homeless man.

  In his fifties, he’d been in the park for as long as she had lived in Chicago. She’d tried many times to help him find a job, but the small minded employers wouldn’t hire him. An opening was coming up at the library. Ellie was waiting for it to officially open to tell Harry about it.