The Scars Keeper

by Scarlet Wolfe

  “Oh, my, god, that is funny shit. I think you might be more naïve than she was. That’s not exactly what a poker run is, but I’ll explain it later.

  “Anyway, the Knights Union is referred to as a ‘one percenter.’ In layman’s terms, they’re not law-abiding. I can’t tell you the details of why that’s the case.”

  Worry resurfaces in her pretty face.

  “Are you a member?”

  “No, but with my father being the president, I’ve always been a part of the life. I would’ve been patched in at some point.”

  “Why did you come here?”

  Swallowing the lump in my throat, I gaze out the window and conjure up the nerve to say the hardest words yet.

  “My cousin Ricky was, and still is, a hothead who talks a big game. It often got us in trouble with teens whose parents were in our rival MC, Marksmen Steel.

  “This MC borders our territory. Members’ kids of both clubs sort of had their own turf war going on. Ricky and I were a part of that.

  “However, Ricky was always running his trap to these kids if we saw them out, whereas, I kept a lower profile, not wanting to stir the pot. Our parents fought enough, and I had learned it was serious business. Ricky wasn’t as mature.

  “One night, this girl we’d met out previously texted Ricky to meet her at this abandoned building. Of course, being a hormonal teenager, he believed it was his chance to hook up with a chick, so he agreed. It seemed too easy to me, so being suspicious, I insisted on going with him.

  “It was a setup. The girl was dating the son of the president of Marksmen Steel MC. His name was Trevor, and he used his girlfriend to lure us there. This guy … he hated Ricky. They’d been in fights before, but we were getting older now.

  “I think we all felt it was time to step up and be more like our fathers and defend the clubs we came from. I should’ve known the violence would get more dangerous between us, too.

  “To make a long story short, Trevor brought five more dudes with him. He and Ricky got into a verbal dispute, and Trevor pulled a knife on him. I stepped between them, and the blade went inside me instead.”

  “That’s how you got the scar on your side.”

  I nod. “I was pulling my own knife out from my pocket at the time, and as I started to double over, I jabbed my blade right into Trevor’s neck. I severed his carotid artery, Avery. I killed him.”

  My entire body is shaking now, so she strokes my arm.

  “We were teenagers. He might’ve meant to stab Ricky, but I never wanted to hurt anyone. It was my knee-jerk reaction to defend myself, so that’s what I did.

  “We both fell to the ground. I was lying on the concrete, staring into the face of a teenager who was dying because of what I did. I watched him drown in his blood.

  “All those things I said to you when I found you in the woods … I saw in his eyes. His past, his future, his regrets and fear. I saw it all, and I’ll never forget it.”

  “Oh, Hayden.”

  “His friends were too in shock to retaliate. They just stood there watching Trevor bleed to death while Ricky got me up and to the pickup he drove there.

  “My dad and Watts met us at the hospital, along with other club members. When word got out that the other kid had died, my dad went into a panic. He told me the incident would start a war between the two clubs. He said they’d have me killed.

  “So, he thought of this plan to say I died. He said he could meet with their president and convince him that since they’d both suffered this tragedy, losing sons, they needed to find peace amongst the clubs. He’d insist it was an eye for an eye, so there was no need for retaliation.

  “It was a long shot, but he made it work. He paid off people to declare me dead. He even arranged and held a funeral for me. To everyone in Arizona besides Ricky, Watts, and my dad, I’m dead and buried.”

  Avery covers her mouth and gasps. She’s shaking, too, as she brings me closer to hug me.

  “I’m so sorry for what you went through. For you to have to leave a whole life behind. Your family, and even your last name ... I don’t know what to say.”

  “Don’t say anything. Just don’t leave me over this.”

  “I wouldn’t. You were only defending yourself. I know you, and you wouldn’t have tried to take his life.”

  Leaning over, I rest my head on her chest, and her fingers find my hair again.

  “No, I wouldn’t have, but there are a lot of things I would’ve done if I had stayed in Arizona, and they’re things you wouldn’t be proud of.”

  “But you could’ve refused to. You always tell me not to let my parents control me. You shouldn’t let your father control you, either.”

  “This is different. It’s not only about the loyalty to my father. The allegiance to the Knights Union is not something I can put into words you’d understand. You don’t leave the life, yet here I am.”

  “OK, but you don’t have to worry about it now, right? I imagine your dad would never want you to return.”

  “He doesn’t, and although I carry guilt for having to leave the MC and my family, I believe I was meant to come here to find you.

  “Now, we can move on. I’ll always remember Trevor’s death, and it’s why I want to be the best person I can be, but I’m ready to not dwell on it.

  “We’ll put the issue with Mr. Bradford behind us, enjoy our summer together, and then start our life at IU. I’m excited for this, Avery.”

  She kisses the top of my head.

  “I’ll do everything possible to keep you happy. I’m going to get professional help for my cutting and use all the healthy coping skills so that I never do it again.”

  Lifting up, I kiss her lips.

  “You don’t have to be anything but you, and I’ll be happy, but first we have to get you well, so I’m going to let you rest.”

  “Will you stay here with me?”

  “Of course, baby. I love you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Avery

  After three nights in the hospital and a few days at home recuperating, I’m back to school on Monday for our last week before graduation. I can’t believe it’s almost here.

  Hayden and I are in physics, and as I stare at Mr. Bradford, I think about the decision my parents and I came to.

  We decided to wait until after graduation to report him. I don’t want to end my senior year with the stress, publicity and negativity that will surround it.

  In addition to notifying the school board, we’ll be meeting with the police to find out what charges, if any, can be filed against him, but at the least, he should lose his teaching license.

  Class ends, and Hayden holds my hand all the way to second period. It’s nice that students have stopped staring at us. Hayden and I are old news now, and we both prefer it that way.

  Since Blake began dating Carrie, he seems unaffected by us, too, and he even texted me over the weekend to ask if I was OK.

  We’re in our back-row seats when Mrs. Samuel enters the classroom.

  “Avery, could you step out in the hallway with me for a minute?”

  My heartbeat flutters faster as the entire class turns to look at me. What have I done? I take one glance at Hayden before I trek to the front of the room and follow her into the hallway.

  “If this is about the schoolwork I missed, I have it finished and ready to turn in. I worked on it all weekend.”

  “No, this is about the journals you placed in the library.”

  “Oh, those.” I look to the floor. Hayden managed to grab them both for me on Friday, and I finished up my project over the weekend.

  “Word got back to me, and although I would’ve preferred you had asked permission to do this as your assignment, I find it clever and also thoughtful of you to attempt to unite the students in this school. For that reason, I’m going to let it slide.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Samuel.”

  “There is one thing ... Do you have the journals with you
?”

  “I did bring them in case I needed to turn them in with my project.”

  “Mrs. Farmer would like you to bring them to her now, and then she wants to meet with you after this class.”

  “OK, thank you. I’ll go get them from my locker and take them to her.”

  I rush down the hall and retrieve the red journals. Once I reach the office, I hand them to the secretary and ask her to please give them to Mrs. Farmer.

  As I’m returning to my chair in sociology, Hayden is staring at me with concern in his eyes.

  “Everything OK?”

  “I’m not sure. It’s about the journals. I’ll tell you later.”

  ***

  Mrs. Farmer waves me into her office, and it’s like déjà vu, stirring up negative feelings from my last meeting with her.

  “Have a seat, Avery. We have a few things to discuss. It didn’t take long for word to spread to the faculty about the journals, but after speaking with Principal Clark, we decided to let this experiment of yours continue unless something negative came about from it.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t ask permission first.”

  “I skimmed over them during your last period, and I must say they’re eye-opening. The teens of this school have a lot going on in their lives.

  “They’re dealing with many negative issues, and I believe your journals might’ve made them feel less alone in their despair.”

  “It’s one of the things I hoped to accomplish. I also wanted to show that we’re more the same than we think. Stereotypes aren’t always accurate.”

  Mrs. Farmer smiles. “I’m impressed, Avery, and proud of you. I would like to permanently showcase the journals in one of our glass display cases in the school.

  “I thought we could decorate the case with information about your project, and I’d like you to write a paper about your findings that we could display, as well.

  “Maybe it will show future students of this school that they’re not alone and have much in common with their peers. I believe it will be a positive attribute to the school.”

  “Really? That’s wonderful. I didn’t feel right keeping the journals … having everyone’s secrets to myself, so I think that’s a perfect idea.”

  “Great. On to the next topic. The paper you write on your project will be submitted with your final transcripts, along with a letter from Principal Clark and me, recommending that you still receive your athletic scholarship.

  “We’re going to do all we can to ensure it happens. If you must go through another interview, we’ll see if I can attend it with you.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Farmer. That means so much to me, and it’ll be an honor to have my project on display.”

  One Week Later

  Hayden

  “Why did I let you talk me into speaking?” Avery asks with frustration as we stand waiting to walk out at graduation.

  “And I still can’t believe you’re the salutatorian. I’m jealous yet so proud of you. I knew you were smart, but you managed to keep some of that under wraps.”

  She kisses my lips, and our green graduation caps bump into each other.

  “You’re also the hottest salutatorian I’ve ever seen, and I can’t wait until tonight when I get to show you how hot I think you are,” she whispers.

  I pull her against my side and kiss her neck.

  “I can’t wait, either. Are you sure you’re ready?”

  “Yes, and don’t ask me again.” She smiles. “It’s sweet that you’re worried about me, though.”

  “Always.”

  The music “Pomp and Circumstance” begins to play, signaling for us to walk down the aisle to our seats at the front of the gymnasium.

  Tall bleachers are to the right and left of us where our family and friends are waiting to watch us graduate. I frown, wishing more than anything that my parents were here.

  At least I have my aunt and uncle, Cynthia, Avery and Joey. I could be all alone, like I felt I was last June when I drove here.

  Since the first letter of our last names are close in the alphabet, Avery and I get to march out together, and because I’m salutatorian and she was asked to give a speech about her sociology project, we get to sit next to each other, facing the crowd with some of the faculty and speakers.

  The ceremony begins, and as our principal speaks, I still Avery’s bouncing knee with my hand. She’s nervous, and I can’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to speak in front of all these people, but I have faith she’ll do an outstanding job like she does with everything she puts her mind to.

  Her name is announced, and as she stands, she grabs my hand. It’s a couple of seconds before my fingers slip away from hers, and I think about the few months now that she’s been reaching for me.

  She’s come far, getting stronger every day. She doesn’t believe it, but she could live a happy life without me. That thought pops into my head often, and it’s from a fear I can’t escape; the fear that I’ll have to one day leave her.

  Avery

  Staring out onto the field of green graduation caps, I silently count to five. My notes are resting on the podium, and before I begin my speech, I take a glimpse back at Hayden who’s staring straight at me with admiration.

  He’s not expressionless like he was so often when we first met. He shows his emotions now, and I like to think I’ve helped him with life, too. He’s happier and more outgoing. He’s not as sad about his past, and he’s hopeful for a future. We’ve got this.

  Clearing my throat, I survey the hundreds of faces. The hundreds of different faces.

  “To my fellow classmates, along with our families, friends and faculty, I was asked to share with you today the findings of a study I conducted for my final sociology project.

  “I think we can all agree that high school is an intimidating place, but do we all agree that it’s intimidating for each and every student?

  “Is it intimidating for the shy girl who sits alone at lunch or for the boys who appear to make up a ruthless gang?

  “How about the drama student, the jock or the kid who recently came out as gay? Then there’s the cheerleaders and the science nerds. Let’s not forget the band geeks, too, among a few other cliques.

  “What if we took away the labels we give to our peers? What if we saw them as simply boys and girls who like ourselves, are struggling with the challenges of adolescence?

  “For my project, I placed two journals in our school library and instructed fellow students to find one and write about themselves anonymously.

  “The end result was remarkable. Those who participated disclosed intimate details about their lives, and what I discovered is that we share similar struggles and triumphs.

  “Many of us are dealing with family conflict at home, along with stress from our academic requirements. We have boyfriend and girlfriend issues, or we’re still waiting for a chance at a romantic encounter.

  “You wrote about positive events, as well, such as starting drum lessons, getting a car to drive, and having your longtime crush ask you out on a date. You got your first paycheck and took a road trip with friends.

  “Speaking of friends … Some of you expressed drama from having too many of them or sadness from having too few. Serious matters about abuse, eating disorders and self-harm were also disclosed.

  “There were confessions about sexual orientation and low self-esteem. We all fear growing closer to adulthood, where we will have countless critical decisions to make about our future.

  “Almost every entry relayed a message of feeling inadequate and a longing to fit in. The thing is, we all fit in, and we didn’t even realize it until we read each other’s confessions. We. Are. Similar.

  “I did this project to prove how much alike we are. I thought by showing our similarities, we would be less likely to focus on each other’s differences, which in turn would lead to less bullying, labeling and misunderstandings.

  “I did it. I proved we’re similar, but my conclusion to this project was an
injustice to each and every one of my classmates because what’s most important is that we value our differences, not our similarities.

  “Adolescence is about forming our own identity. It’s about self-discovery. All any of us want is for others to realize we’re not one dimensional like our labels. Individually, we’re so much more.

  “For the moment, I ask that each of you imagine yourself as one location on a globe. Each dot on this map is one-of-a-kind, and to discover someone else’s uniqueness, you have to go to their location and explore. You must be open to whatever their dot has to offer in order not to miss out.

  “You might think ‘well, now I’m only one thumbtack amongst billions,’ but it’s the unique existence of every one of us that makes the world we live in extraordinary.

  “Let’s not miss out on someone’s part in that by observing, labeling and judging from afar. Instead, be the first to travel to their dot and say hello.

  “Yes, we’ll still discover we have some things in common, and it’s true we won’t like or get along with everyone we meet, but I guarantee we will see uniqueness in others and learn a thing or two along the way.

  “If we’re lucky, one of those ‘dots’ on a map might become our home. I know I found mine when I allowed myself to truly see someone who was different than myself … someone extraordinary.

  “Fellow classmates, I feel honored to have read in those journals a piece of what makes each of you unique. I will carry your admissions with me always. Thank you.”

  Smiling, I throw out the peace sign, and the claps begin to fill the gymnasium. I walk back to my seat, and Hayden stands and hugs me, lifting me from the ground.

  “If you didn’t pick up on it, you’re the extraordinary someone I was referring to.”

  As the room continues to roar with claps and yells, Hayden lowers me to my feet and grins.

  “I thought I might be. Thank you, and that was epic, baby. Absolutely epic.”

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Hayden

  Every time I try to tuck the fitted sheet over the air mattress, the diagonal corner pops free. After try number five, I’m growling and end up in a fight with the sheet before I release it from my fists and take a deep breath.