“You’re so beautiful, Nic. I’ve been starving for you, babe.”
I can’t reciprocate and tell him that I’ve spent days dreaming about this, craving just the slightest brush of his hand, anything to calm the raging need that’s set in and won’t seem to go, no matter what I do.
He’s kissing me gain, his mouth and hands holding my head still, as he knees my legs wider and lines himself up. I let out a keening cry, as he thrusts home in one hard, heavy movement that seats him before I can utter a protest.
The fit is tight, a little too tight, as he pushes till not an inch of his erection is bare of my sex.
“Goooood.”
“Ssh, babe. That’s it, Nic. Just relax and let yourself feel me,” he croons, taking my mouth in a series of slow, smooching kisses that are meant to soothe and calm the slight pain.
I obey and will myself to relax and just focus on his mouth and the way his hands are gently stoking through my hair. Soon enough, he starts kissing me deeper and sucking on my tongue. His groan of pleasure is followed swiftly by my own when I wiggle my hips and feel an answering pulse of renewed arousal.
He takes the hint and pulls his hips back, never leaving my mouth, forcing me to share his breath as he pulls back and pushes in, back and in, back and in, in a pace that is as slow and sweet as it is hot.
I feel him everywhere, and—man-oh-man—is it better than I ever remembered.
“More.”
He ignores me and keeps at the slow pace.
It feels like hours later that I feel a rush of pleasure so great I scream into his mouth and explode in a burst of twitching legs, clawing nails, and so much pleasure I can’t catch my breath.
That does the trick for Law, too, and with one more thrust, I feel him tense and come with me, his feral groans and growls absorbed by our still clinging mouths.
Minutes later, he pulls away and comes down beside me, pulling me closer and into his arms. The action makes me wary, not because I don’t appreciate the comfort or cuddling after such a mind-blowing event, but because he’s never been a cuddler, and it’s another new thing about him that leaves me feeling terrible.
“You okay, babe?” he whispers, snuffling into my neck with a contented sigh.
“Great.”
But I’m not, and even as the minutes tick by and I feel him relax and then drift off to sleep, I’m fully awake and filled with regrets.
I’ve been a bitter, selfish fool all this time and it’s time I faced the truth. I didn’t keep Cody from him because he wouldn’t have been a great father or a fabulous champion for his kid. I didn’t keep it from him to protect Cody from future disappointment, or even because I felt that it was better for my kid.
I did this because I was pissed and hurt and bitter about the way he’d treated me. I’d loved him so much that when he’d left me I’d felt used and broken.
That hurt had turned into anger and then resentment, and I’d somehow fooled myself into thinking that I had a valid reason for keeping the man away from his son.
Seems that for all my intelligence, I am not the most emotionally savvy woman around.
And tomorrow morning, I have to wake up and tell the man—whom I now realize I never stopped wanting—that I wronged him in the worst way.
Chapter Thirteen
Law
I wake with a sense of peace and contentment that I haven’t felt in so long that it takes me a while to decipher the emotion before putting a name to it.
Yeah, I feel happy and…whole…in a way I haven’t experienced since I won my first game or got scouted in college to go pro.
The feeling is warm and graceful and so complete, and I can’t help a grin as I roll over and look at the woman lying beside me in bed. Nic…
I’d met her one day when Dad called and asked me to go to the NYU campus to headhunt the girl. I’d been annoyed to miss a full day of practice checking out some college puff piece who probably couldn’t negotiate a deal if it ran up and bit her on her prissy ass.
Boy had I been wrong.
We’d met with the dean and been shown to a lecture hall that was full to the rafters but for three reserved seats.
And then I saw her.
Nineteen years old, teaching an advanced Econ class and so fucking beautiful it took me ten minutes to stop drooling and tune into what she was saying.
And man, she was way beyond smart. I’d realized soon that my old man had a reason for trying to snatch this young girl up before she even touched her last week and graduated.
Nicolette was well and truly the most vibrantly intelligent and outgoing girl I’d ever set my eyes on. And she was a hot little nerd, who wore a Star Wars t-shirt depicting two lightsabers—one big and one tiny, saying ‘Of course size matters.’
Sense of humor, too.
Shit. I’d all but left a drool trail all the way to the lectern by the time she stopped talking and dismissed the class to a resounding round of applause.
Yeah, my girl was smart and well liked and everything I never knew I wanted. I’d dumped my girlfriend the same day and set out to seduce the hell out of her, as my dad wooed her for James.
I can be a charming bastard when I want to be and had the starry-eyed girl eating out of my hand in the two weeks in which I’d romanced her to death.
Turned out that while she was most definitely a virgin—Roooar!—she was not the shy type, and I’d had her maidenhead before the month was up.
Of course, I fell in love. No smart man in his right mind could have resisted Nic’s quirky charms and her insatiable sexuality. She was simply the perfect woman, right down to her hatred of shopping or wearing makeup.
Mom had taken over there and whipped her into shape while Dad set her up in the company.
I took my sweet time finishing college. I was going pro as a star goalie after all, so wasn’t too concerned about any of it. With Nic at Dad’s side, I was free to pursue my dreams and have my perfect girl waiting for me at home.
I had it great till Nathaniel Lincoln slammed into me the last twenty seconds on the clock, trying to land a goal and end my shutout.
My knee was well and truly fucked, and there ended my career before it even began. And there started my discontent and the need to get free and live my life…because I knew that Dad and Nic would expect me to just forget that my dreams were shattered and join the company.
I didn’t want to be a CEO. A suit. Some stuck up exec who played golf twice a week and attended charity events while my wife pranced around dripping in jewels.
So I steadily got increasingly bitter and angry. I became more resentful of Nic, the happier she seemed to get.
And then I’d exploded one night, the night of Dad and Mom’s twentieth anniversary party.
I still can’t think about that night without feeling weak with regret, and I still feel lingering pain, just as much as when I’d realized I’d destroyed the only woman I ever gave a shit about.
Not only had I publicly humiliated her in front of the people she worked with and needed to lead every day, but also I screamed my distaste of her in front of my parents, ruining their party and losing their respect.
They forgave me, eventually, after about three months of unanswered calls and a lot of pleading on my part. But I never once called Nic to ask forgiveness.
No, I’d done what I always did and ignored it, pretending I didn’t give a shit as long as she wasn’t weighing me down and telling me in her soft, understanding voice how sorry she was for my knee and that life went on, that I had a bigger purpose, that God had closed one door, but there was sure to be another that would open somewhere better.
Yeah, I’d fucked it all up royally, but I have another chance now, and I swear I won’t ruin it by being the same immature, cowardly loser I was at the tender age of twenty-two.
This time I’ll be everything she needs and more, and I’ll get the family I’ve been denying myself all this time. I think it’s been my way of punishing myself for what I did, b
ut I’ve suffered ten years of loneliness, so I’m quitting my shit and just taking what I want.
What I need to survive.
Grinning once again, because yeah, I’m just that damned happy, I pull her naked body into my arms and groan at the feel of her hot, smooth skin making contact with mine.
She sniffles and groans, stretching with a jaw-cracking yawn before opening her eyes and smiling softly at me.
“Morning, beautiful,” I murmur, kissing her and chuckling when she tries to push away, muttering about morning breath.
“God, you still look great in the morning, even with bed head and stubble,” she gripes, pushing away.
I grin at her and feel a weight lift off me when she smiles back and reaches out to caress my jaw.
“We need to talk about the future, babe.”
“I know,” she says sadly, pulling her hand away and closing her eyes on a shudder. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
Chapter Fourteen
Nico
I’m so nervous it feels like my lungs are compressing within my chest cavity, and God, my heart’s fit to beat right out of its moorings the longer he lies there and stares at me with that sappy grin on his face.
Apparently, he’s put as much stock in our one-nighter as I have and plans a lot more for us. Heaven willing, he’ll be in a fit frame of mind to forgive me for my mistakes, or I’m pretty sure I’m about to get my ass booted out and there’s a huge possibility that I may be in a custody battle soon.
Law keeps grinning widely and shuffles onto his stomach, his arms gripping his pillow.
“So here’s the thing. I’m pretty sure that last night was some of the best sex you and I ever had, babe. Let me just say that whatever you learned after me…well worth the sacrifice of having some other asshole screwing my girl.”
I don’t say anything because, well, I’m quite frankly a bit speechless that he has it in him to be this crass. I wait instead, coward that I am, for whatever else he has to say.
“I’ll be a good father to your son, too. We have so much in common that I can’t see how we won’t get along, and to be honest, I’ve kinda been thinking about kids lately,” he admits ruefully, giving me a gentle smile.
Law…thinking about children? You can knock me down with a feather I’m that flabbergasted because, honestly, I would never have suspected Law James of wanting kids.
Maybe one day in his late forties the guy would feel the need to continue the hallowed line—and then only for duty’s sake—but to actually want kids…Law?
“Really?”
My voice is nothing but a whisper of breath.
“I never would have pegged you for the type.”
That makes him laugh, and I feel my heartbeat even out a little that he’s not taking my words as an insult.
“Yeah. About two years ago I had this chick claiming she was pregnant with my kid. After that initial shock, I kinda got so into the idea that by the time I found out she was lying I was more than a little disappointed.”
“Really?”
Okay, honesty time; I do not like the idea of some other broad carrying his kid, and as much as I hate to admit it, I’m jealous that he’d been with someone and risked impregnating her.
That was my special thing!
“Yup. She was some ditzy, Euro-trash, yacht hopper who was an easy time and not much else.”
I have to admit to being shocked that the man I…like…is being this callous about another woman. I’ve never seen this side of him, but for that one time…no, I won’t think about that now…and it’s annoying to think that the man I’d just slept with can be that unfeeling when talking about someone he was interested in enough to sleep with.
His words give me pause. Do I really want him as a role model for my son?
“You liked her enough to fall into bed with her.”
He shrugs nonchalantly.
“Sure, but she was never going to be wife or mother material, that’s for sure.”
“Okay? But you would have married her to raise your child together?”
Please say yes, I beg silently, hoping and praying that he isn’t going to say anything more to ruin what I was looking at as a new start for us.
“Marry her? Hell no, babe! The chick wasn’t even that good in the sack. I drew up a contract and was prepared to pay her handsomely to give up parental rights to the kid.”
Oh Jesus, it just keeps getting worse!
“Uh—”
“But that will never happen to us, Nic. You and me, we understand that marriage is a team effort. Like a merger if you will. I’ll overlook Cody not being mine, and we can get to work giving him a few siblings. You know, produce some real James heirs. You’d have to take some time off from the business of course…”
I have to admit that this is the exact point I stop listening and have to work really hard to control the rush of immediate anger I feel. It’s an emotion I feel not only for the way he’s talking about my son, as if he’s a cross he’s willing to bear, but also because I am more than a little steamed at myself.
So fucking stupid!
To think that Lawson James, the premiere playboy and consummate liar, would ever be anything but the spoiled little asshole who’d all but broken me years ago…and I’d gone and freaking slept with him again!
You’re such an idiot! Idiot! Idiot!
He’s that same beast, that same heartless fool who wanted nothing more than to flit about, partying and living his life, the reason I had originally not told him about Cody when I found out I was pregnant.
I knew this would happen and that I’d end up being tied, in some way, to Law. And that’s if I’m lucky! If not, odds are he’ll take my son and get rid of me so fast my head will spin…Exorcist-style.
It’s definitely time to get myself out of this mess, only problem is I don’t know how to accomplish that feat without making things much worse for myself.
I can’t forget that I need my job, that to leave now would not only put us in severe financial distress, but we’d lose our medical insurance and all the other perks that come along with this job.
Plus, for some unholy, stupid reason, I don’t seem able to hurt the man, no matter how much of an ass he is, or has turned out to be. Where’s the guy I fell in love with? Where’s the guy who bought me a freaking yellow umbrella because I love yellow and he hated the thought of me getting caught in a rainstorm?
Where’s the guy who gave me all his red M&Ms and ate all the green ones because I hate that color in food?
I want that guy back. No, I need that guy back because I need to tell him that my son needs his dad, a good man who’ll talk to him and help him when he finally becomes a man.
And honestly, I myself want that man back because, dammit, I miss Law and I want him. But the old him who used to be worth knowing, not this soulless creature who’s willing to take my son on while he waits for his “real” heirs.
Damn bastard. I bet he’ll shit a brick and feel it when he finds out he’s being so dismissive about his own flesh and blood.
So yeah, okay…I want Law back before I tell him about Cody, and I feel not one scrap of guilt about my next plans f action.
“Let’s not get so serious when we’re on vacation,” I purr, sliding my hand down, down, till I get to the heated arousal beneath the covers.
His eyes heat and flare, and just like that, I find myself pinned under him, moaning as he thrusts home and takes me to heights I haven’t felt in ten years.
Law James the Playboy doesn’t know it yet, but his days are numbered.
Chapter Fifteen
Nico
Yesterday I managed to nab Law’s phone while he went to talk to the captain and made a call to Minnie and Jack. We’re leaving this morning so that was not only a stroke of luck for me, but something more than necessary if I’m to get my plans rolling along nicely.
See, the thing is that I’ve decided that Law and I are going to start dating and doing all tha
t schmaltzy couple stuff that I missed out on while we were together—unless you count me going to hockey games on campus and watching him and his teammates get hammered after.
Yeah, I’m kinda digging the thought of dinners and movie dates, and be still my heart, maybe he’ll even wise up enough to buy me a frozen yogurt this time. (Long story!)
So yeah, I’d been lucky to get ahold of them and convince them to take Cody home to Jude before we arrived and Law saw him. Jack had been flat out pissed and refused so vehemently that I spent five minutes listening to him bluster.
And then I told them what Law said, and boy, wowee! Leave it up to Jack to come up with that many adjectives in one breath. I love that those two love their son unconditionally, but that they are and always will be in Cody’s corner, as well.
Jack and Minnie—God, I can’t believe I made them miss out on so much of Cody’s childhood. The only way for me to calm some of my shame is by repeatedly replaying that suck-ass conversation I had with Law the morning after our first sex, and even then, I still feel slightly shamed.
That’s why I’ve agreed to let them take my son on vacation two days after my return. They’ll have him for four weeks, taking him on some ‘educational’ trip around Europe.
Man, the kid is really going to enjoy having grandparents who are loaded and freaking in love with the ground he walks on.
Okay, so that’s taken care of. I won’t have to worry about Law and Cody running into each other, and I can make a run at Mr. Insensitive.
Here’s my plan. Due to circumstances being what they are, and Law and I having to work together at all hours, I’m going to bombard him with me. The quirky me he fell for. The brainy me who drove him crazy with random trivia. The sexy me who despite being a complete dork has absolutely no inhibitions.
And then I’m going to force him to change.
Wanna know how?
I’m going to inundate him with memories of all the things he used to love, like hockey and movies in the park. Riding the subway just because we liked to people watch.
CALLIE (The Naughty Ones Book 1) Page 73
