Working at the soup kitchen at St Patrick’s. Hotdogs and beer.
Friends.
That’s the most important one on the list and something that I’ve already mapped and planned and set in motion with Minnie. I’ve enlisted her to set up a barbecue for the week after they leave with Cody and just spring it on Law.
The kicker is that every friend he used to have will be there to get reacquainted with him; most are big, badass hockey players, while the others are football greats and even just old friends who want to catch up.
Not a single one of them will take any bullshit from Law—whether he’s a rich douche or not—so I foresee a lot of arguing, then competition, and finally just a jolly good time for my guy.
Worst-case scenario is that he’ll freak and come down on me like a ton of bricks. Best, he’ll enjoy himself so much he’ll get back some of that spark he’s missing, and I’ll be just that much closer to getting him back.
Because, yeah, ten years is a long freaking time to throw a man tantrum about losing his hockey career, and I’m sick to death of the bozo masquerading as the man I used to love.
“Hey, babe!”
I’m currently sunning on the deck, trying to soak up as much relaxation as I can before the chopper arrives and I have to leave this floating paradise.
“Here!” I yell back, not bothering to turn or open my eyes when I hear his footsteps.
“God, you look great in that bikini.”
“I know. That’s why I bought it. So you done?” I ask, barely cracking a lid when I feel the lounger dip beside my leg.
“Yeah. We still have an hour before we leave, and I’ve already packed us up…,” he wheedles suggestively.
I ignore him and keep my eyes closed, only barely registering the hand currently caressing its way up my leg and rubbing circles on the inside of my right thigh, so close to my sex the heat of his skin reaches me.
“Nic…”
“Hmmm?”
“Wanna go inside and fool around before we leave?”
“Nope.”
See, this is the thing; Law is way too used to getting his way in most everything. As a confirmed Lothario, I bet the guy hasn’t gone without sex since the moment he realized what his dick was for. And I, the sex-starved Sahara walker, made things oh so easy for him.
Well, no more, if he wants in the panties, he’s going to have to earn his shot, starting today since our vacay is officially over.
“What the hell?”
Not having the option of just lying there and relaxing any longer, I lever myself up, twist and come to my feet, meeting his confused and irritated eyes dead on.
“I’m not going to be that girl for you, Law. Not anymore. I want more than a few casual hookups with you.”
“I fucking proposed!”
He’s on his feet and yelling now, and I can almost feel his emotions hit me in a wave. Yeah, I know that he’s been stewing about the way I dodged and deflected his marriage edict, and that it was just a matter of time before he brought it up again.
Thank God I’m not steeped in emotions and unprepared this time.
“Is that what you call that? Far as I could tell, you were laying down the law for me. You didn’t even ask, which is something you need to work on, because normally when a guy wants to marry a woman, he kind of asks first, instead of just telling her how it’s gonna be!” I hiss back, grabbing my cover and stalking inside.
“Oh, and another thing! No respectable mother would ever accept such a half-assed proposal coming on the heels of ‘I will accept your inferior offspring speech! Love me, love my kid!”
You didn’t think I was just going to let that go, did ya? I’m still pissed that he’d referred to Cody so…scathingly, and it doesn’t make one wit of a difference to me that part of that speech came from jealousy and his not knowing that Cody is actually his.
What if Cody was Brody’s kid? What if this situation was me marrying him and bringing another man’s kid into the mix? Would he resent my kid?
I’m not aiming to find out. I’m gonna make Law love my boy before he knows the truth—and that’s that.
He tenses, and I see a bit of the old Law trickle through his hard eyes for the briefest second before his expression smoothes and morphs back to that carefree charm I hate so much.
“Of course I will love your son—!”
“No! I’m not talking about accepting him and raising him as his stepfather; I’m talking about loving him like he’s yours, like you’re his long lost father and not some asshole who’s willing to put up with him because we’re a packaged deal and you want me. You love my kid. For him. Because he’s just too freaking adorable and smart not to love.”
I leave him standing there, stewing in his own juices, and pad to the bedroom to change and get ready for our flight.
Game on asshole.
Chapter Sixteen
Law
We’ve just landed and are on our way from the airstrip to Mom and Dad’s, and the closer we get to the house the more nervous I am. This is it, I’m about to meet the boy, and all I can think about are Nic’s snarled words to me on the liner.
And fuck me if I don’t know that she is totally serious. If I can’t get with the program here and be a real father to that kid, I know that all bets are off. She won’t accept grudging acceptance from me, and she most definitely will not accept a half-assed attempt at bonding like I was going to make with the hockey.
And who the hell can blame her?! I feel all kinds of shitty and proud right now. The pride comes from seeing the mama bear at her finest, demanding I love her kid just because…well…all moms think their babies are the epitome of perfection.
The shitty part comes in because I still feel a lot of resentment towards a little kid I’ve never met, and all because his dad tapped what I consider mine and got her pregnant.
Cody is—in short—the living, breathing, walking reminder that I had screwed up one of the best things that ever happened to me. Plus, I just hate the thought that Nic wasn’t pining away and waiting for my victorious return.
Harsh and dumb, but totally true.
Still nervous though—and getting more on edge—when we clear the gates of the estate and the house comes into view. What’s making it worse is that Nic hasn’t said one word to me. Not on the chopper, not on the plane, and not in the car.
I’m talking total freeze out, and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m so used to women falling all over me and drooling on my wad—my cash wad that is—that I don’t know how to fix this without making the situation worse.
“Nic,” I say when the car stops and she moves to get out.
She pauses and looks at me over her shoulder, one brow quirked in question.
“I…I’m not good at this relationship stuff, and I think I’m even worse at the kid stuff so…give me some time? I’m pretty sure it’s impossible not to love a kid who came out of you; I just need a minute to wrap my head around more, which I really do want with you by the way. I just…it freaks me out that—”
“I moved on and didn’t pine away for you for ten years?” she asks with a laugh, her mouth twisting ruefully.
My face heats, but I nod, giving her a sheepish smirk.
“You know me too well.”
“No,” she says sadly. “I know the you I used to love. This guy who pretends not to care about anything is a total stranger. I’m hoping the old Law can shine through every once in a while. He would have been a great dad for Cody.”
She leaves me sitting in the car, flabbergasted and more than a little shame faced, because what she said is true. The old me, the guy who had goals and dreams and plans, wouldn’t have thought twice about being a decent human being.
The guy I am now, however, that bastard is so used to getting his own way. And now he’s standing in mine.
When I finally drag my ass out of the car, take a deep breath, and walk inside, it’s to see my parents and Nic cuddled up on a sofa in the den, my
father laughing and giving my mom the eye.
“The three of you look cozy.”
Mom jumps guiltily before bustling over to give me a kiss and a bone-crushing hug for such a small woman.
“Oh you! How was your trip?”
“Great. We got everything set up. Nic did most of the work while I lounged around watching,” I say, going over to shake Dad’s hand before falling down beside Nic and pulling her close. “She said I can meet her kid.”
The room goes dead quiet for all of two seconds before she elbows me in the ribs and shakes her head.
“No! I said you can meet him when I meet the real you and not a moment before. Anyway, he won’t be here for the next four weeks because Jack and Minnie are taking him on a vacation,” she says, rolling her eyes with a shake of her head.
Dad chuckles and coughs, and Mom looks anywhere but at me.
“She’s right. You’re my son, and I love you, but you’re not exactly hitting for base right now. The kid is impressionable. He needs a father not a wingman.”
Ouch.
“Fine, fine, I get it. You all think I’m not a safe bet.” I grouch, feeling betrayed and not a little put out that they all have so little faith in me.
Nic sighs and retakes her seat beside me, her hand landing on mine with a squeeze.
“That’s not it, Law. I’m just not sure that meeting Cody now is a good idea. The old you would have taken him for burgers before you went to the rink and shot a few practices. This guy, the suave, footloose guy you are now…Cody won’t respond well to someone who he can tell isn’t all that interested in him.”
Mom is nodding her head vigorously, an indulgent smile creasing her face.
“The boy is exceptionally intelligent. Why, he even showed me how to prune the roses in the greenhouse for maximum growth.”
I want to be interested, really I do, but I don’t give a shit about Mom’s roses, and she knows it. However, my lack of answer also furthers the impression that I’m not interested in the kid, and when I see Nic frown, it just pisses me off even more.
“Uh, I need to get to the office.”
I practically run out of the house before anyone can say another word to me, or more importantly, before I can say something that I won’t only regret but that I’m pretty sure Nic won’t let me come back from.
Dammit! Why couldn’t she just wait for me?! I would have given her as many kids as she wants…why couldn’t she wait?
Chapter Seventeen
Nico
Things aren’t going the way I wanted them to, and that not only makes me mad, but I am officially floating into fear territory.
He’s avoiding me, and the freaking barbecue is tomorrow. So what should I do? I’ve been vacillating between calling Jack and just letting him take care of things or calling everyone who’d been invited and just cancelling.
I won’t do it! I need Law to reconnect with these men and their families. I keep having this thought that if he just sees those guys…maybe he’d remembered the good times and the sense of belonging.
Law always thrived on that, knowing that he was part of something, that he belonged and that his friends counted on him and trusted him to have their backs.
It was only after he got injured that things started falling apart and the douche appeared. I saw it. Hell, I should have seen it sooner when I called and he wouldn’t answer, or his attitude the few times I just dropped by when my texts or calls didn’t get a response.
It had hurt, but I’d put it all down to him being bummed about stuff. I should have known that—even then—he was starting to withdraw. One time I’d shown up at his place and—after knocking for twenty minutes—I’d finally just slumped against the door and sat in the corridor, waiting.
It had been the middle of winter and so freezing that my legs were numb in less than an hour. I’d been so determined to see him after almost a week of nothing that I’d dragged myself there after a long day of work.
My biggest surprise was not seeing him stumbling drunkenly towards his door, because part of me had thought, or hoped, that he’d just been out getting hammered with his friends.
No, the surprise was when his door had opened from the inside, and I’d tumbled back, cracking my head on his hardwood floor and staring up at him.
He’d been pissed that I caught him, that I knew he purposefully ignored my knocking, and after helping me up—only to get me out of the way of the door—he’d closed and locked his apartment and wandered off.
When he showed up at my apartment two hours later, drunk and lusty, I’d let him in and done the most shameful thing, I’d slept with him, knowing that I was throwing away every scrap of pride I had.
But that’s not the point! The point is that he’d changed even then, and after ten years of that shit, I am starting to lose hope and suspect that the man I loved is long gone and dead, buried beneath a pile of meaningless sex and partying.
And I do not want this new guy who doesn’t give a damn because, dammit, I loved the old one!
“You look like you’re about to kill someone.”
I look up in surprise and can’t stop a shriek and giggle when Leo Barns, goalie extraordinaire and one of Law’s best friends back in the day strolls in.
The man is a walking ad for wet panties everywhere with those brown eyes and hair as black as midnight. Not even a chipped front tooth detracts from his appeal.
“God, you look great!” I yell, throwing myself at him for a hug and a very friendly kiss that he manages to plant on my mouth before I can deflect.
“And you look like you belong in my fantasies, not some stuffy office,” he growls back, making me giggle anew as I push away and point at the sitting area behind him.
“Sit. I wanna know everything. You want a drink?”
“Water. Please.”
I grab us both a bottle and curl up on the seat across his, shaking my head with a smile when he leans back, stretching his arms across the back and regarding me with heated, amused eyes.
“So he’s back, huh?”
Lord.
“Yup. Jack took early retirement after Minnie threatened to walk if he didn’t slow down and consider his health. Law came back before the board could make a move.”
Leo grimaces, and I can see his annoyance when he bites at his top lip, a habit he had even way back when.
“Is he still as big an asshole as when he left, because if he is, I owe him a good beating for what he did to you, Nico!” he says with a growl, and I wince, thinking of how pissed Leo and Brody were that day.
At one point I’d literally had to jump on Leo to keep him from going out to find Law, and even then, the only reason he didn’t was because I’d begged him not to humiliate me anymore.
“No. Yes. I don’t know, Leo,” I admit, blowing out a hard breath. “He’s not the old Law, but…I don’t know this guy well enough to say what he is. I can tell you that I won’t be mentioning Cody again till…if…he ever wises up.”
Leo nods. As Brody’s friend, Leo knew that I had a baby, and while we’ve never discussed it, the man isn’t blind. I’m sure he knows that Brody wasn’t the father—well, that and the fact that Brody wasn’t into me that way.
The fact that Leo never said a word is one of the very many reasons that I still love the guy, even after not seeing or hearing from him in three years.
“Can’t blame ya. I wouldn’t want my kid knowing the asshole who would hurt his mom the way he hurt you. So…this barbecue?”
“Minnie set it up. We thought if all of the old friends got together, maybe he’d—”
“Get back that loving feeling?” he laughs, shaking his head. “You and I both know that bastard won’t do a thing unless he wants to, and from what I heard, Jack and Min took your boy on vacay. Law probably won’t answer that goddamned door tomorrow.”
Probably not. Unless I’m there to open the sucker for him.
“Nico, don’t take this the wrong way, babe, but are you sure that you a
nd Law working together is a good idea? The guy…oh hell no! Please tell me you haven’t made shit that easy for him.”
I’m wincing and scrunching my face with every word because I know that he already knows that I went and gave the milk away for free, while the cows were still standing on the auction block.
“Goddamn woman! If I knew you were that easy, I would have made a play for your fine ass years ago.”
All I can do is snort because as far as I can tell, Leo is still one of the biggest man whores alive, and that badge is worn proudly. It also doesn’t escape my notice that he’s calling me easy.
“Thanks asshole, and here I thought I liked you.”
“You love me, and you know it. But seriously, Nico, what the fuck? The guy publicly humiliated you. It was so bad that even my balls shrank, and I didn’t know those bastards could do that with their size. He doesn’t deserve you,” he says and snarls, swiping a hand through his hair.
“I know, but…”
His face softens, and he shakes his head in resignation.
“He’s it for you, huh?”
“Possibly. Probably. I don’t know. All I know is that I married one man to have a father for my child, while the man I loved systematically screwed his way through Europe and a good chunk of northern China. I shouldn’t still carry a torch for him.”
Not even a little tiny, itsy-bitsy flicker of a flame. And yet I still want him like I’ve never wanted another. What that says about me isn’t even worth inspecting if I want to maintain a shred of dignity or self-respect, so I just don’t look too deep.
“He’s gonna hurt you again, and this time Bro isn’t here to pick up the pieces. Does he know that you married Brody?” Leo suddenly asks, his eyes narrowing.
“I told him I married a Brody, but I don’t think he knows that I married the Brody,” I admit.
Partly because I wanted to keep the illusion of my marriage being a happy blissful thing instead of the farce it was. Everyone and their mother on the hockey team knew he was gay. Well, everyone except his mother and father that is.
CALLIE (The Naughty Ones Book 1) Page 74
