Vigilant

by Sara Davison

  Heat rose in his chest. “And you weren’t using me? I saw Gage in the doorway right before you kissed me.”

  The rush of crimson deepened across her cheeks, but she moved in closer. “That’s very interesting, Detective. If you knew why I was kissing you, then why did you kiss me back?”

  Daniel bit his tongue to keep from blurting out the answer. Because I wanted to. Because I’ve wanted to since the first time I saw you in this diner. And in spite of everything you’ve said to me in the last five minutes, and the fact that you are clearly still in love with Gage, everything in me wants to grab you and kiss you again.

  He might as well have said the words out loud. He saw it in her eyes, in the way she dropped her gaze and took a faltering step backward, that she heard them as clearly as if he had.

  “You need to go.” Nicole pointed toward the door.

  Daniel’s eyes narrowed as he pushed to his feet and grabbed her hand.

  “What are you doing?” She tried to pull away from his grasp, but he didn’t let go.

  “Looking at these.” He turned her arm slightly until the dark red marks on her wrist, already deepening to bruises, were visible. He sought out her eyes as fire blazed across his chest. “He’s even more of a fool than I thought.”

  Nicole yanked hard and he let her go. “Gage didn’t do that. I did it to myself. At the gym.”

  “The gym.”

  “Yes.”

  “Because if Gage did do that to you, that’s a crime. You can press charges.”

  She let out a cold laugh. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? If I did your job for you and handed you a possible suspect, nice and neat, and made him look guilty by charging him with a completely unrelated crime. Well, forget it. If you want to take Gage down so badly, you’re going to have to do the work yourself. And you’ll be the one who looks like a fool when he’s proven innocent.”

  Daniel drew in a long, slow breath. “I don’t, you know.”

  “You don’t what?”

  “I don’t necessarily want to take Gage down. Especially since it would hurt … a lot of people.” He pushed back his shoulders. “But I will do whatever I have to do to protect the children of this city and to prevent more of them from being taken.”

  “Gage would never hurt me, and he would never hurt anyone else either. He’s a good man.”

  “I’m sure he is. But a lot of good people have made bad choices over the years. Some of them even for the right reasons. Unfortunately, they’re still bad choices. And lives can still be devastated by them.” Daniel took a step closer to her. “Think about this. If a man could hurt a woman he cared about, would it be such a stretch to believe that he could also commit another crime in a misguided attempt to save children?”

  “I told you Gage didn’t hurt me, and he would never hurt a child either. And you need to leave. Now.” She turned and strode across the diner. Bells jangled a discordant noise as she yanked open the door.

  Daniel closed his eyes for a few seconds before bending to pick up her chair then follow her across the room. He walked out the door she held for him, but stopped on the first step and pressed a palm to the glass beside her head. She swallowed hard but met his gaze.

  “I’ll be in touch, Ms. Hunter. Soon. And if you know anything about these kidnappings, if you even suspect that Gage might be involved, you need to tell me.”

  “And if I don’t?”

  “Then I will take you down to the station and we can talk there. It’s your choice. Obstruction of justice is every bit as much a crime as taking children out of their beds at night.”

  “What about deception, Detective? How do you justify that in your mind?”

  Daniel let out his breath. “I don’t. You’re right. I should have told you who I was and why I was here right from the beginning.”

  “Yes, you should have.”

  He nodded. “I’ll make you a deal. No more keeping things from you. And no more lying. I’ll be completely honest, and in return you tell me everything you know, or suspect, about what Gage is doing. If you cooperate, I’ll do everything I can to keep you from going down with him.”

  Her jaw clenched. “Gage is not involved with this, and if I do decide to talk to you, it will be to give you information that proves he’s not.”

  “Don’t wait too long to decide. This is a temporary offer. If I think you know something you aren’t telling me, I will take you in for questioning.”

  The door started to move toward him. “Good night, Detective.”

  He moved down another step to avoid being hit and pulled a card out of his pocket. “Here is my cell number and the address of my station. I’ll expect to hear from you soon.”

  Nicole snatched the card from his outstretched hand. “Stop watching me. You have no right to invade my privacy when I have nothing to do with any of this. If I see you following me again, I will talk to a lawyer.” She slammed the door in his face. The lock slid into place with a loud click.

  He stood on the step a moment longer, watching through the glass as she strode past the counter and slammed through the kitchen doors, her blonde ponytail bouncing between her shoulder blades. The doors swung wildly behind her.

  Daniel touched a knuckle to his lips briefly, before shoving both hands into his pockets. “Yeah. That went well.” Shaking his head, he stepped onto the sidewalk. He was glad he’d parked a couple of blocks away. A walk through the chilly night air was exactly what he needed at the moment.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Nicole rang through her last customers and thanked them when they left a five-dollar bill on the counter for her. After they’d gone out the door, she tugged her phone from her pocket. 6:40. Her shift had technically ended at 5, but the diner had been busy at that time so she’d stayed a little longer to help. She hit the button for her inbox. No messages. She’d been checking every ten minutes all day, but she hadn’t heard from Gage since he’d seen her at the diner with Daniel Grey the night before. Did he go home after that? Should she go over?

  Nicole dropped down onto a stool, propped her elbow on the counter, and lowered her forehead onto the palm of one hand as the events of the evening before flashed through her mind. First Gage, then the detective. A real red-letter night. And what Daniel Grey had said about Gage and Holden. That was ridiculous. How could the police be that far off? They really must be desperate, to go after innocent people like that. Gage sure didn’t need them harassing him after everything he’d been through.

  She lifted her head. He had been through a lot. A ton of garbage. And he was still going through it. At the moment, he was wading ankle-deep in it, literally and figuratively, and whose fault was that? Guilt pricked her chest. She was the one who’d pushed him to open up to her. What did she think she was, some kind of expert? She wasn’t God or his psychiatrist, as he’d rightly—if somewhat cruelly—pointed out last night. What made her think she’d be able to help him? She’d only made things worse by confronting him. And then kissing another man in front of him … Nicole groaned and buried her face in both hands. As if he wasn’t dealing with enough.

  Her head jerked up. Was he dealing with it? He’d appeared to be right on the edge when she was at his place. What if seeing her with the detective had pushed him over? Her stomach roiled, and she pressed a hand to it. He wouldn’t have done anything crazy, would he?

  Sam, one of the dishwashers, pushed through the swinging doors carrying a gray bin of clean silverware and stuck it under the counter. “Nic? Everything okay?”

  Umm no, absolutely nothing is okay. Nicole forced a smile and twisted the stool around to face him. “Yes, fine. Could you do me a favor? Table thirty-four just left. Would you mind clearing it for me? I need to go see a friend who isn’t feeling well.”

  “Sure. No problem. You go.” Sam jutted his chin toward the kitchen.

  “Thanks, Sam.” Nicole was already untying her apron as she hurried into the back. She slipped it over her head, hung it by the door, and grabbed he
r coat. Joe and Connie had gone upstairs, and the evening shift had taken over the kitchen. “Good night, everyone.” She offered a quick wave before heading out the back door.

  The ride up the elevator to Gage’s apartment seemed to take forever. God, help him. Don’t let him do anything foolish. Please, please help him. When the doors opened, she bolted from the elevator and down the hall. He’d given her a key to get into the building, and to the lock in the door knob, but not to the dead bolt, which he rarely turned. Last night she could see that it had been slid across, and it was again today. Everything in her screamed out to pound her fists on the door again, but with a quick glance toward the neighbor’s apartment, she rapped quietly. She’d bang if she had to, but hopefully she could get his attention without alerting the entire floor.

  Immediately she heard movement from inside the apartment, the clanking sound of the remote being tossed onto the coffee table, the creaking of the couch. Relief poured through her. When the lock slid across and the door opened to reveal Gage on the other side, Nicole couldn’t decide whether to throw herself into his arms or burst into tears. She did neither.

  Instead, the two of them stared at each other for a moment. Then Gage stepped out of the way and gestured for her to come in. When she did, he closed the door behind her.

  “You came back.”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “I needed to make sure you were all right.” Although he hadn’t shaved, he’d showered since she’d seen him last, and the smell of soap wafted from him. What did that mean, that he was okay? Nicole crossed her arms. “What is going on with you?”

  “Nothing you want to be anywhere near.” His dark eyes, slightly hooded, met hers. The wildness was gone. All she could see in them now was utter exhaustion. And sadness. Because of her? Her throat tightened as he drew in a ragged breath. “I mean it Nic. You should—”

  “No.”

  The corner of his mouth quirked slightly. “No what?”

  “I’m not leaving. Not this time.”

  “If you knew what was best for you, you would.” He inclined his head toward the door.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “What if I ordered you to go?”

  “Then I would.”

  Both eyebrows rose as he contemplated her.

  “But you would never see me again.”

  He held her gaze steadily, his face unreadable for several seconds. Then his shoulders sagged. “Well. You’re throwing your cards on the table with a lot of confidence considering everything that’s happened, aren’t you, princess?”

  “Is it unwarranted?”

  He braced himself against the wall with one hand. The fingers supporting him trembled slightly. “No, actually. Your hand definitely trumps mine.” He spoke slowly, as if forming words took more energy than he had in him. “I want you to stay far more than I want you to go, especially if there’s the slightest chance you won’t return this time.”

  She stepped closer. “Tell me.”

  “Tell you what?”

  Nicole waved a hand around the room. “What was all this? What was going on with you earlier?”

  He blew out a breath. “It was the black hole, as Holden and I affectionately call it.”

  “The what?”

  “Here.” He took her hand, gently this time. “I need to sit down. I’ll tell you about it, if you’re sure you want to know.”

  “I’m sure. I think.”

  He dropped onto the couch and tugged her down beside him. A half-filled garbage bag sat on the floor beside the coffee table, as though he’d been able to throw all the trash in it but then run out of steam. “It happens sometimes, to both Holden and me. Not very often, maybe once every year or two, but if something triggers a memory of when I was a child, it can set me off. It’s a kind of PTSD.” He rested his head against the back of the couch.

  “Why did you feel the need to keep it from me?”

  His eyelids drooped. “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to suck you into the hole with me.”

  “Maybe I could have kept you from being sucked in, if you had trusted me enough to share what you were going through.”

  “You probably could have. And I do trust you. More than I’ve ever trusted anyone other than Holden. I just got lost there for a bit.”

  “I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

  He squeezed her hand. “No, you should have. I’m glad you did. It was the first time I’ve ever told anyone but my doctor about my past. As much as it dredged up a lot of garbage, it was remarkably healing too.” He rolled his head to the side until he was looking at her. “And seeing you last night, even though it all went terribly wrong, brought me out of it. Made me realize that I needed to get my act together before I blew the best thing that had ever happened to me, if I hadn’t already. Which is amazing, because often the darkness lasts for days, sometimes weeks.”

  He rubbed the side of his hand across his forehead. “Holden can help, usually, but when I felt myself starting to fall a couple of days ago, I went to see him, and he was in a bad way too. I’m not sure why, maybe me calling him Luke the other day triggered him as well. I don’t know if it’s ever hit both of us at the same time before. I could barely help myself. There wasn’t anything much I could do for him, so I called his doctor, handed Holden the phone, and told him to talk. I hope it helped. I need to go over there again to check on him.”

  “Do you want to go now?”

  “No. I shouldn’t drive like this. I can barely keep my eyes open. I took a cab to the diner last night and still barely made it home. Then I crashed on the couch for sixteen hours.” He blinked a few times, as though having trouble focusing. “I’ll go tomorrow. All I want right now is to be here with you. To try and somehow make things right.” He turned her hand over and glanced at the bruises before pressing his eyes shut. “Nic, I am so sorry. It won’t happen again. Ever.”

  “No, it won’t. It can’t.” She tugged her arm from his grasp and forced steel into her voice. “If it ever does, I will walk out that door and it will be over.”

  His eyes opened halfway. “And I wouldn’t blame you. But it won’t. I swear I will never hurt you again. Not physically, anyway. I can’t promise I won’t hurt you any other way. I can be a bit of a mess.”

  Nicole sighed. “Well, I can’t really hold that against you. We’re both a bit of a mess.”

  “So you forgive me?”

  “Yes.”

  Gage slid a hand behind her head and pulled her to him. He kissed her, a slow, deep kiss that drove away the last of the cold that had been shivering through her body since she had stopped by the night before. He rested his forehead against hers. “Thank you for coming back.”

  This man, this beautiful, broken, remorseful man, he could never do the things that detective suspects him of. Never. Nicole’s chest ached at the thought. “Don’t ever shut me out like that again.”

  “I won’t.” He lifted his head and she brushed away the long, dark hair that had fallen over one eye. “Nic …” he swallowed hard. “I don’t know how much right I have to ask you this after the way I treated you last night, but—”

  “He’s no one.”

  He searched her face, as though trying to read the truth there.

  “He’s a customer who’s been in the diner a couple of times and who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m not proud of using him like that, but I was really confused and angry when I left here earlier. When I saw you, I acted without thinking. I was trying to get back at you, I guess. Hurt you a little.”

  “It hurt more than a little.”

  “I’m sorry.” She rested her fingers on his cheek. “Can you forgive me?”

  He nodded slightly. Dark stubble rasped against her palm.

  “Good. I’m glad all is forgiven. But if you think you’re ever going to kiss me again, we’re going to have to do something about that scruff on your face.”

  His eyelids had dropp
ed closed, but he managed a wan smile as he mumbled, “It’ll be gone first thing.”

  “Here.” Nicole grabbed a pillow and set it on her lap. Gage stretched out and rested his head on it. In a couple of minutes his breathing had evened out and deepened. Even though he’d fallen asleep, Nicole ran her fingers lightly through his hair, trying in some small way to offer comfort, to remind him that she was there.

  Still, it wasn’t until sometime in the middle of the night that the trembling that had gripped his entire body eased, and the deep lines of sorrow and weariness gave way to a look of peace.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Daniel wasn’t a big fan of cursing, but several choice words flitted through his head as he sat in the meeting and listened to his boss rant. Another child, a three-year-old boy, had been taken in the night, ten days after the last one. The organization was clearly stepping up its operations, like he’d been afraid they would. He and Sharleen had been at the scene most of the night, trying without success to get something out of the single father, who hadn’t seen or heard anything. Both beyond exhausted, he and his partner had taken the night off, betting on the odds that nothing would happen if they missed one stakeout.

  They’d lost. Would it have made a difference if they’d been there, or had Gage or Holden figured out they were being watched somehow and waited until the night that no one showed up to carry out the latest kidnapping?

  Or maybe it wasn’t Gage or Holden at all but someone else entirely, and they’d been wasting their time sitting there every night. Daniel rubbed his closed eyelids with his thumb and forefinger and blew out a breath. He really had no idea what to think anymore, and the fact that he’d missed the only good night’s sleep he’d been about to have in weeks because he’d gotten called to the scene of the crime wasn’t helping.