Vigilant

by Sara Davison

  “Go ahead. Take your time. I’m going to make us some tea.” Connie pushed to her feet with a groan.

  Nicole grabbed her arm to help her up. “Okay, Connie. Thanks.”

  She watched her friend make her way across the living room and through the swinging doors. I wish Gage was here now. Nicole lifted her chin. No, this was something she had to do on her own. She swallowed hard and slid her nail under the flap to loosen it. Biting her lip, she pulled out the piece of folded paper inside. She pulled her feet up underneath her on the couch before unfolding the paper. The spidery scrawl brought tears to her eyes, but she blinked them to clear her vision and began to read.

  Dearest Nicole,

  If you are reading this, then I am already gone. You don’t need me to tell you that I am in a better place now, and that you don’t have to worry about me any longer. I know you’ll miss me, as I will miss you, but we do not grieve without hope, do we, since we know that we will see each other again one day.

  Connie and I had so much in this life – love, laughter, joy – but we never did have much in the way of things, which suited us just fine. I did want to leave you one gift though, to do with as you see fit. I want you to have the diner. I talked it over with Connie and she agrees with me. She doesn’t want to run it herself, although I’m sure she’ll be in there fairly often, walking around serving coffee to anyone who comes in off the street in need of one.

  That’s why we opened the diner in the first place, darlin’. So there’d be a place people could come, get in out of the cold, and feel, at least for a little while, that they weren’t alone in the world. I know you’ve always held it close to your heart, little girl, but you have a lot of love inside you to give, more even than you know. Open that heart up, look around you, and see all the folks out there that need to feel just a little bit of it. Love and coffee, that combination will take you a long way on a cold night. Believe me, I’ve received both when I needed them the most, and I’ll never forget either.

  It will be your decision, of course, whether you want to keep the diner open or if you want to sell it. Either way, I will be watching you, waiting to see where your path in life takes you. Wherever you go, whatever you do, whoever you become, know that I am proud of you, and that you will always be the daughter of my heart.

  All my love,

  Joe

  Tears streamed down Nicole’s face. She was vaguely aware of the kitchen doors swinging open and Connie crossing the room toward her, but Nicole couldn’t tear her eyes away from the words on the paper still clutched tightly in one hand.

  Connie set the tray filled with tea and cookies on the coffee table and sat on the couch beside her. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

  Nicole pressed her eyes shut and drew in a quivering breath. “I think so.”

  “Here.”

  When she opened her eyes, Connie held out a tissue. Nicole took it and used it to wipe the tears off her cheeks. “Did you read this?”

  Connie shook her head. “Joe wanted you to see it first. Whatever is in there is between you and him. I don’t need to know what it says.”

  Nicole held it out to her. “No, it’s okay. I want you to read it.”

  Connie hesitated then took the letter. Nicole leaned forward and poured the tea, giving her a moment.

  When her friend looked up, her eyes shimmered with tears too. “Blessed man.”

  Nicole handed her a steaming cup of tea. “Yes, he was. I can’t take the diner, though. It’s too much.”

  “Of course you can. Joe’s known for years he was going to give it to you. That’s one of the reasons he kept it going so long. It’s always been for you. We discussed it at length, and prayed about it, and it’s what we both want.”

  “But if you don’t want to run it, you could sell it, use the money to make sure you have enough to take care of yourself.”

  “Don’t you worry about that. Joe made sure we had enough put aside for me to live on if anything happened to him. And I don’t need much. I’ll be fine.”

  Nicole’s heart raced. “If I did decide to keep it open, you’d be there to help me, wouldn’t you?”

  Connie smiled at her, blue eyes warm. “Like Joe said, I’d pop in from time to time, pour a few cups of coffee. But Nic,” her face turned serious. “If you decide to do this, you’ll have to stand on your own two feet. You need to do it on your own. I know you can, and so did Joe. That’s why he left it to you.”

  Fear gripped her. Could she do it on her own? Did she even want to? She’d have to be there every day, in the company of a thousand memories and all the strangers that came in off the street. She could never offer them the warmth and compassion that Joe and Connie had always given them. Could she?

  Nicole pressed her fingers to her temple, her mind too full of questions and emotions for her to think clearly. “I have no idea what to do.”

  Connie sipped her tea and set the cup on the saucer. “This is a new idea, and you’ve had a long week. Give yourself time to think about it. There’s no rush. The diner will be there, waiting for you, whenever you make up your mind.”

  Nicole nodded. It was too late, and she was too tired, to even consider the idea tonight. The diner couldn’t stay closed for long though, or all the regulars would find another place to eat.

  Sometime in the next few days she’d stop in, check to make sure everything was okay, and try to imagine herself in there running the place alone. Like Connie said, the longer she waited, the harder it would be.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Nicole glanced around the diner. Everything seemed to be in its usual spot, except of course for Joe. When she pushed open the swinging doors to the kitchen, she half expected him to be standing in front of his grill, flipper in hand, like he’d always been. She backed out of the kitchen, letting the doors swing slowly shut after her.

  Tamping down her grief, Nicole reached behind the counter and pulled her laptop out of her bag. She needed to stop feeling so much and start doing. The idea that Gage could be involved in criminal activity, while ridiculous, still hung over her like an ominous cloud threatening to burst open at any moment. She couldn’t keep living this way.

  As the computer booted up, she dropped onto one of the bar stools with a groan. Everything ached. Her heart mostly. Her world seemed to be coming apart around her, and Nicole had the painfully helpless feeling there was little she could do to stop it. Cooperating with Daniel Grey was starting to seem like the only option she had, the only possible way to prove Gage was innocent so the two of them could get on with their lives, maybe even find a measure of peace. They deserved that much, didn’t they?

  Nicole’s jaw tightened. If Detective Grey wanted proof, she’d give it to him. Proof that Gage and Holden were innocent. It was crazy that the police were wasting so much time and energy pursuing the wrong people, while the real perpetrator was likely busy planning another abduction.

  Her finger hesitated over the left mouse key. Come on, Nicole. Get this over with. You know Gage isn’t the kidnapper. The whole idea is completely ludicrous. Still, her hand hovered over the button for a few seconds before she clicked on the search button for the Toronto Star newspaper archives. Her search revealed a series of articles on the abductions, and she grabbed a notepad and scribbled down all the dates that children had been taken.

  After finishing and clicking on the exit button, she drew in a deep, trembling breath, realizing she had hardly inhaled at all since entering the paper’s website. She sat without moving for several minutes, until the thudding in her chest subsided. Then she clicked on the day timer icon at the top of her screen. Maybe if she saw what she and Gage had done on those days, or the days that followed those dates, it might help her to remember if he’d seemed off, or if he hadn’t stayed as late as usual, anything that might suggest her instincts about him and his involvement in the disappearances might be wrong. In the absence of that, she’d feel even more strongly that Gage had nothing to do with what was going on with t
he kids in the city, and Detective Daniel Grey would have to acknowledge that and start looking into other suspects.

  She read over her entries for each of the dates that occurred after she and Gage had met, and a couple of days after each one. They hadn’t gotten together one of those nights, but that didn’t prove anything, did it? From what she’d read, the kids were usually taken in the middle of the night, and he rarely stayed past eleven. The other two nights they’d eaten together, once at a restaurant and once at his place. Had he acted strangely? Appeared distracted? Maybe. Occasionally. Or maybe not. Nicole pressed her palms to both temples, repressing the urge to cry out in frustration. She’d lost all perspective on their time together, now that she was looking back at it through the lens of the detective.

  Her palm smacked down on the counter. So what if Gage was occasionally distracted? He was often working on a big case, and it wasn’t easy to switch that off, even with her. She had deadlines for school to think about herself, and wasn’t always fully present, even when they were together. That didn’t mean she was plotting some big crime those evenings, did it?

  Stop letting Daniel Grey get into your head.

  Nicole coughed into her fist. Her throat had gone paper-dry. Jumping to her feet, she pushed through the doors into the kitchen and grabbed a glass. She filled it almost to the brim at the sink and lifted it to her mouth. Her hands shook so badly that water splashed onto her sweater and she turned and leaned against the island. Gage couldn’t have taken those children. He wouldn’t have. He loved kids. He would never hurt ... Her head shot up as a memory rocketed through her, of the night Gage told her about his childhood. He’d been so confused about how anyone could hurt an innocent child like that, so frustrated with the abusive parents he saw in the courtroom all the time. Had he found a way to stop some of them from going home and beating up the kids that, as he had said, they were supposed to be protecting?

  Nicole bit her lip hard. Detective Grey had said the most likely suspect in the kidnappings was someone who wanted to help those kids, not hurt them. Someone who had been in the same, desperate, brutal situation as a child. Someone who had waited for help for himself and his brother and none had come. She moaned softly. For a few seconds she pressed her eyes tightly shut. Then she pushed herself away from the island.

  This is crazy. Nicole returned to the diner and walked around the counter. She pressed a palm to the counter top to steady herself and took another sip of water. It was a coincidence, that’s all, that Gage had seemed a little preoccupied the night of the last abduction, and she would prove—

  A sharp knock broke the late-night silence of the diner. Nicole whirled around. The glass slipped from her fingers, shattering on the black and white tiles.

  Detective Grey stood outside the door. A tsunami of emotions assaulted her at the sight of him. Anger that he had turned her life upside down with his wild accusations, fear that those accusations might actually be true, and a sudden, intense desire to feel his arms around her that only made her angrier. She didn’t stop to analyze who the object of that second wave of anger was, but shoved the desire, and as much of the fear and anger as she could, down deep inside of her as she stepped around the mess and strode toward the door. She flipped the lock and yanked it open. “What are you doing here?”

  He didn’t flinch. If he handled all his investigations the way he’d handled this one, she wasn’t surprised that he was used to that type of greeting.

  “I need to talk to you. Can I come in?”

  Everything in her told her to say no. Somehow, she didn’t think that would make him go away. Not for long anyway. Letting out a heavy breath, she moved aside to let him pass.

  He stepped over the threshold and looked down at the broken glass. “I didn’t mean to startle you. Sorry.”

  Nicole shrugged and shut the door behind him. “I wasn’t expecting anyone to show up here, that’s all. We haven’t been open for a few days.”

  “I know. I heard that the owner had died, so I drove by a few times.”

  Guilt over her cold reception of him doused the anger and fear, at least. “You were checking on the place?”

  He shifted from one foot to the other. “I wanted to make sure everything was okay. That’s how I knew you were here tonight. I was going by and saw the lights come on.”

  “Well … thank you.”

  “It wasn’t any trouble. I was sorry to hear about Joe. Were you close to him?”

  Nicole swallowed the lump in her throat. “He and Connie were like parents to me.”

  His face softened. “Then I’m really sorry. I know you haven’t seen your own parents for a long time so—”

  Her head jerked. “And how would you know that?”

  “I …” For the first time since she’d known him, Detective Grey seemed to falter, as though he’d accidentally said more than he intended to.

  “You’ve been investigating me too, haven’t you? Why? Do you still think I know something about this case that I’m not telling you?”

  “No, we’re covering all the angles, that’s all. Looking into the background of everyone who might have something to do with the abductions, or who knows someone who might be involved. It’s standard procedure.”

  “Which is cop talk for ‘we can do anything we feel like and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, so get over it’.”

  He sighed. “Look, I honestly didn’t come here to get into anything with you. Could we start over? Please?”

  For the second time, she noticed that exhaustion had drawn dark circles under his eyes. Harassing innocent civilians evidently took a lot out of him. She bit back the sarcasm. “What did you come here for?”

  “Just to talk.” Daniel glanced over at her laptop, still sitting open on the counter.

  Nicole followed his gaze. “I was planning out my week. I’m helping Connie sort out all the paperwork, and I don’t want to miss any appointments.” Had she left the Toronto Star website open on the screen? Or her journal? If he saw either, he would know she was entertaining doubts about Gage, which would only make him feel better about the direction he’d taken the investigation. She forced calm into her voice as she walked around him and over to the counter. Hitting the exit button, she snapped the computer closed and turned to face him.

  The detective was studying her intently. Her stomach tightened when he took a step toward her.

  “Where’s the broom?”

  Nicole shook her head. “I’ll take care of it.”

  “I don’t mind. It was my fault. Is it in the kitchen?”

  She hesitated for a moment before giving in. “Yes, behind the door.”

  “Why don’t you sit down? You look a little shaky.”

  “I’m fine.” When he disappeared through the swinging doors, she did sink onto a stool, afraid her knees would give out if she didn’t. Nicole waved her hands in front of her cheeks, trying to cool them. When the doors creaked open behind her, she dropped her hands quickly.

  “You sure you’re okay? You’re a little flushed.” Detective Grey walked around the counter, a broom in one hand and a dust pan in the other.

  “I am a little warm. Must be coming down with something. I should probably head home and rest.”

  He swept the broken glass into the dustpan, then turned and walked back into the kitchen. Glass clattered into the garbage can. When the door swung open a moment later, he carried two glasses of water that he set on the counter in front of her. “I’m sure you’ve had a long few days. I won’t keep you. I wanted to touch base with you, ask if you’ve seen or heard anything you’d like to tell me about.”

  “I told you before, Detective, you are on the wrong trail. Gage and Holden would never be involved in anything like this.”

  “Are you sure?” He glanced again toward the laptop.

  The heat in Nicole’s cheeks intensified. “Yes, I’m sure. I—”

  The words caught in her throat as he rested a hand on the counter beside her and lean
ed closer. “So if I booted up your computer and checked the history right now, I wouldn’t find anything interesting?”

  “You’d need a warrant for that.”

  “I could have one delivered here in twenty minutes.” He reached inside his jacket and pulled out a cell phone.

  “Which would be a waste of everyone’s time. I told you I was checking my schedule for the week.” Her voice shook with nerves and anger. Please let him only hear the anger.

  “Maybe I’ll get one anyway. I have a theory about what you might have been looking up, and I always like to check out my theories. You know, to make sure they’re not faulty.”

  “Go ahead. I have nothing to hide. As long as you realize that while you’re standing here talking to me and accomplishing nothing, children are still in danger in this city.” Nicole clenched her fists tightly, trying to keep them from shaking.

  His piercing blue eyes searched hers. Neither of them moved for a few seconds, until he dropped the phone into his pocket. “Look, we don’t have to fight about this. We both want the same thing, to rule out the possibility that either Gage or Holden is the one taking these children.” He sat on the stool beside her, pulling a glass of water toward him and nudging the other one closer to her. “I know you’ve been through a lot lately, and I really do want to help.”

  Nicole gritted her teeth at the sudden softness in his voice. The last thing she wanted was to come undone in front of him. She could deal with his pushiness, but not his kindness. “Do you even have a partner?”

  Detective Grey stopped with his glass halfway to his mouth. “Yes, of course. She’s great. Why?”

  “You seem to have the whole good cop, bad cop routine down on your own. I thought maybe you worked alone.”

  He grinned and sipped from the glass.

  “She doesn’t know you’re here, does she?”