Vigilant

by Sara Davison

  A stab of pain shot through her.

  “Oh, baby. Come here.” His voice was tender, and when he cupped the back of her head with his free hand and drew her to his chest, all the anxiety she’d been plagued with the last few weeks pushed down on her until she sagged against him, pressing her face into his soft black sweater.

  After a few moments, Nicole reluctantly raised her head. A tentative smile crossed Gage’s lips as he smoothed the hair away from her face and kissed her forehead. “Wait,” he said. He pulled the drawer beside her open and grabbed a Band-Aid out of the box, wrapping it gently around her still-throbbing finger. He held the finger up to his mouth and kissed it. “All better.”

  She nodded. Gage cupped her face in his hands. “Now tell me what’s bothering you.”

  “It’s just ...” She couldn’t put it into words, this dark feeling that had hovered around her for weeks now. “Gage, you wouldn’t do anything that would …”

  “That would what?”

  “Destroy what we have. Would you?”

  The eyes searching hers hardened. “I don’t know what you think I’m doing, Nicole, but at this moment, I’m holding everything I’ve ever wanted in my hands. Why would I do anything to put that—or you—at risk?”

  Which doesn’t answer my question. She tried to draw comfort from the fingers pressed against her skin, but they had gone as hard as his eyes.

  His jaw tightened, as though he could read the uncertainty on her face. Or hear it in her silence. “He’s gotten into your head, hasn’t he?”

  She frowned. “I don’t know what you’re talking—”

  He dropped his hands. “That cop. Grey. He’s planted doubts about me in your mind and now you don’t know which of us to believe.” His voice rose. “Don’t try to deny it, Nic, I can see it in your eyes.” He shot out an arm and swiped the cutting board and knife onto the floor. Carrots scattered across the tiles. Nicole gasped.

  Gage pressed his fingers to his temples. “I can’t stop seeing it, you and him in the diner that night. I know you said there was nothing between you, but that’s a lie. I saw the way he looked at you in Starbucks last week.”

  His eyes had gone dark and wild, the way they had the night he had grabbed her wrist and ordered her out of his apartment. Nicole’s chest tightened until she could barely draw a breath. Would it always be like this? Would Daniel continue to be a specter in the background of their marriage, overshadowing their lives? Even if Gage could move past seeing them together, they might encounter other situations in the future that sent him spiraling out of control. What if he got sucked deeper and deeper into the black hole until the day she could no longer bring him back?

  Heat roared through her. No. She wouldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t. She grabbed his face and forced him to look at her. “Listen to me. Maybe there was something, but it’s over now. I chose you. In front of God and witnesses, I chose you. And I will always choose you. As long as we are both drawing breath on this planet, I will choose you. Every day. Every minute. You never have to doubt that. Never.”

  The eyes that met hers still churned, but Nicole refused to look away. Gradually, calm crept into them, and the tightness in her chest eased. Gage lowered his forehead to rest on hers. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I love you so much, it scares me sometimes.”

  Me too. “I love you too.”

  They stood like that for a moment, until he lifted his head. “I told you once that I would fight for us, and I will. Always. You have to trust me, Nic. Please tell me you can do that.”

  Nicole shoved back her apprehension as she let him go and stepped back. “I do trust you.”

  “Good. Then everything is going to be okay. I … I know it.”

  Had he been about to promise? A chill worked its way through her at the thought that he couldn’t bring himself to say that word. Nicole lifted her chin. Enough. She’d told Gage she trusted him, and she did. She had to. She had nothing left to cling to but that. “I wish you didn’t have to go back to work.”

  He rubbed his hands up and down her arms, as though he felt the cold that shivered through her. “So do I, but this is a big case, probably the biggest one I’ve handled so far. I really want to be prepared so nothing goes wrong.”

  “I know it’s silly. But I was looking forward to spending time with you tonight.”

  “It’s not silly. I would have loved that too. The good news is that this should be my last late night for a while. I told them I have to cut my hours a bit, and the all-night work sessions, now that we’re married. I also told them I need to take time off next week for our honeymoon.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. Since the diner’s closed, you can get away for a few days, right?”

  Nicole’s thoughts whirled. What did that mean, Gage wanting to go away? That he wasn’t involved in the abductions so he didn’t have to stay in the city, or that he was and he wanted to lay low for a while, get out of the country, especially now that he knew Daniel had been talking to her? She straightened her shoulders, deathly tired of trying to analyze every little thing he said and did. “Yes. Absolutely.”

  “Good. Then why don’t you think about where you’d like to go?” Gage said. “My vote is someplace tropical, although, as long as we’re together, I don’t really care where we are.”

  “Me neither.”

  Gage studied her. “So you’re okay with me going to the office tonight?”

  “I guess so, if it means we can go away soon,” Nicole said. “Are you working with someone else on this?”

  “Yes. Bob, Louise, and Brad.”

  “You could meet here instead. It would be more comfortable,” she offered.

  “Too comfortable. And way too distracting, for me anyway. We’ll get done a lot faster if we’re at the office where we have everything we need.”

  Tears pricked her eyes, but she blinked them back.

  “Nic.” His hands stilled, and he gripped her arms lightly. “I’m sorry I’m not one of those stuffy big-firm lawyers. I could have given you so much more.”

  She shook her head. “You’re all I need. If you were one of those guys I would never see you, and no amount of money is worth that.”

  “I’m glad you think so. Having you in my life makes all of this worthwhile.” He let go of her and bent down to retrieve the cutting board. After tossing the knife and pieces of carrot onto it, he stood and set it on the counter.

  All of what? She couldn’t stop the thought from flitting through her mind, until Gage pulled her to him and pressed his lips softly to hers. When he lifted his head, Nicole glanced down at the stove. “Dinner’s getting cold.”

  His grin was wicked. “Let it. We can heat it up later.” His mouth covered hers again, not as soft this time, but firm, demanding.

  A deep urgency rose up in Nicole, as strong as the desire that rocketed through her system. As tired as she was of analyzing his motives, she was even more tired of feeling helpless, confused, and uncertain about what to do next. For too long now she had felt like a branch carried along on rushing water. A few weeks ago, a fork in the river had risen up before her and she’d been torn in two, not sure which direction to take. Now that she had made her decision, it was time to stop being swept along by forces out of her control.

  Nicole took her husband’s hand and led him down the hall to their room.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Nicole bolted up in bed and glanced over at her alarm clock. 10:45 p.m. Her heart pounded wildly, and she rubbed her palm over her chest. “Gage?” He wasn’t there. He must have slipped out after she’d fallen asleep. Throwing back the covers, she swung her legs over the side of the bed.

  Her fingers shook so badly she couldn’t button her shirt. Frustrated, she tore it off, flung it on the floor, and grabbed a sweater from the closet, pulling it over her head before stumbling down the hall to the kitchen. The food she’d prepared earlier was gone from the top of the stove. She yanked open the door of the fridge and
stared at the containers Gage had stored their dinner in, debating about whether or not she could keep it down if she tried to eat. After deciding she couldn’t, she shut the door again and sank onto a kitchen chair.

  Ever since she and Gage had met, she’d played tug of war with their relationship. From the beginning, part of her had pushed him away and part of her had grasped hold of him tightly, trying to keep him from leaving. Nicole propped her elbows on the table and lowered her face into her hands. Father, help me. I have no idea where my husband is or what he is doing. All I know is that I can’t fight to hold on to him anymore. I’m too tired. I’m giving Gage to you. He’s yours, not mine. I’m sorry I forgot that for a while. Please help me to remember that, whatever happens, you are with me. She lifted her head. You are with me, right? The words were a silent, desperate plea.

  No sound broke the silence in the room, but she felt the Always deep in her soul, and peace flooded through her. Thank you.

  A revelation struck her. Nicole blinked at the force of it, at the belated understanding that God was the only one who could promise to never leave her. Trying to force another human being to make a vow that only God could make was like trying to hold a ray of sunshine in her fingers. Without realizing it, she’d been chasing after sunbeams for most of her life.

  It was time to stop, to lift her face to the brightness and warmth and revel in them, instead of living in dread of the moment they would give way to the darkness that might someday follow.

  So what should she do now? Call Daniel? What was the use of that? If Gage was at work, she’d be calling Daniel for no reason, and if he wasn’t, she had no idea where to tell the police to look for him. She exhaled loudly and pushed to her feet. I have to get out of here, or I’ll drive myself crazy listening to the clock ticking and ticking and ticking. She strode to the door, pulled on her running shoes, and grabbed a jacket and her car keys. The apartment door slammed behind her as she fled out of the building and headed to the parking lot.

  For over an hour she drove aimlessly. When she changed lanes and was startled by a loud, indignant honk from the blue Forester she’d inadvertently cut off, she pulled over to the curb and put the car into park. It took her a few seconds to realize that she had stopped a block away from the police station. Somehow that didn’t surprise her. On some level, she knew she had been heading this way all evening. Or maybe for weeks now. For a few seconds more, she hesitated then, sighing deeply, she pushed open the door and climbed out of her car.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  “Excuse me, I’m looking for Detective Grey?” Nicole clasped both hands together tightly to keep them from trembling.

  The receptionist tilted her head to one side. “Do you have an appointment?”

  “No.”

  The woman’s eyes narrowed as she studied her. She reached for the phone receiver and punched in several numbers. “Sharleen? Can you come down to reception? There’s someone here to see Daniel.”

  She listened for a moment. “One minute, I’ll ask her.” Holding one hand over the receiver, she raised her eyebrows. “Your name?”

  “Nicole Kelly.”

  The woman nodded and relayed the information. “Okay, thanks.” She replaced the receiver and looked up at Nicole. “Detective Roberts is coming. She’s Detective Grey’s partner.”

  “Thank you.” Nicole’s throat ached, and she absently rubbed her neck with one hand. Her nerves were stretched so tightly that she jumped when the door to the office opened.

  “Mrs. Kelly?”

  It was the woman Daniel had been with at Starbucks. Nicole took the proffered hand in her ice-cold one and shook it. “I was hoping to speak with Detective Grey.”

  The woman released her and nodded toward the door. “He slipped out for a few minutes. Why don’t you come to his office and wait? I know he’ll want to see you.”

  Nicole followed Daniel’s partner through the office until Detective Roberts stopped at the opening to a cubicle. “Go on in and sit down. He shouldn’t be long. I’m across the hall if you need anything.”

  Nicole managed a weak smile. “Thank you.”

  The detective nodded and disappeared out the door. Nicole sank down on the hard plastic chair in the corner and looked around the tiny space. The room was neat and sparse. A single photograph sat in a frame on a shelf above the computer. Too agitated to sit, Nicole stood up and walked over to see it better. A sweet-looking woman, soft, dark-brown curls framing a gentle face and smile, stood to one side of Daniel, her arm around his waist. A beautiful woman with sapphire eyes and long, dark hair splashing down around her shoulders stood on the other side of him. Probably Daniel’s mother and sister.

  The one who dominated the photo though, was a tall, powerfully-built man whose silver hair clearly belied his strength. It was easy to see where Daniel got his height and looks from, and to catch a glimpse of the man he would someday be.

  She looked away quickly. Her gaze dropped to the one item out of place on the desk, a single piece of paper lying beside the keyboard. Nicole started to read it then straightened up with a jerk. What are you doing? She had taken one step back when the words on a yellow sticky note on the paper caught her eye.

  Daniel, I found this in a pile of papers to be filed. Anything to do with Gage or Holden Kelly, do you think? Dot

  Cold chills shivered up and down her spine as Nicole glanced behind her at the door. Biting her lip, she lifted up the sticky note with one trembling finger and read the words underneath. It appeared to be the transcript of a conversation between a police dispatcher and a concerned citizen. A note across the top reported the date and time of call, 8:30 p.m., March 15th. Nicole caught her breath. Almost four months earlier, shortly after she had met Gage. She took a deep breath and read on. An anonymous caller had phoned in with details about a conversation he had overheard in a coffee shop and thought was strange. The caller had only caught a few sentences, but each word drove into Nicole’s chest like the tip of a dagger.

  Woman: Everything’s ready. Every day we delay means these children wait longer for someone to come and help them.

  Man: I understand.

  Note: The caller’s cell phone went off at this point and he missed the next few minutes of conversation. After completing his call, he picked up on the end of the exchange.

  Woman: You can’t tell anyone about this.

  Man: Of course not.

  Woman: Not even your brother.

  Man: If you read my file then you know my brother has had to live with the fact that he killed our father all his life. I’d never ask him to keep another secret.

  Woman: I trust you. That’s why I want you for this. I hope you’ll help us. I really believe that you are the one to save these children.

  Note: According to the caller, the man left at this point. The woman watched him go and sat for a minute more, before getting up and leaving herself.

  End of report.

  Nicole pressed a hand to her chest, trying to draw in a breath as she stumbled backward and sank onto the chair by the door. She dug her elbows into her knees and rested her forehead in her hands, trying to comprehend what she had read. It was true, then. The police had been right to come after her family. Not Gage, though. Holden. Relief rushed through her, dissolving the tension in her muscles. After a few seconds, fresh pain tightened them again and she pushed to her feet. She had to see Holden, had to hear from his own lips what he had done and why he had done it. If she let him know that the police suspected him, maybe he would turn himself in before someone got hurt, before any more children disappeared. Somehow, she and Gage would help him through this.

  Nicole stepped to the doorway and peered up and down the hall in both directions. Seeing no one, she fled the office, ignoring the receptionist who called after her in surprise as she flew out the door and ran for her car.

  Nicole stopped at the end of the walkway as Holden’s front door opened and a woman with long, reddish-brown hair came out onto the porch. Holden
moved into the doorway behind her. Neither of them noticed Nicole as he took the woman’s face in his hands and kissed her. Nicole glanced back at her car. Should she go? Hope they didn’t see her and realize she had caught them in an intimate moment? Nicole hadn’t even realized Holden was seeing someone. Did Gage know? More importantly, did the woman on the porch know what Holden had gotten himself into? If not, Nicole couldn’t be the one to tell her. She’d have to talk to Holden later.

  She took a step in the direction of her car, but Holden’s voice stopped her. “Nicole?”

  Cheeks warm, Nicole turned back to face them. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you had company. I can come back.”

  The woman walked to the edge of the porch, a friendly smile on her face. “No, it’s fine. I was about to leave.”

  Holden gestured for Nicole to come to the house. When she walked up the stairs, he slid an arm around the shoulders of the woman. “Nic, this is Christina Lang. We work together. Chris, my sister-in-law, Nicole Kelly.”

  Chris shook her hand warmly. “Good to meet you finally, Nicole. Holden’s told me so much about you and Gage.”

  Really? He’s told us absolutely nothing about you. She forced a smile. “Nice to meet you too.”

  Christina touched Holden’s arm. “I should go.”

  “Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “All right.” She smiled at him as she started for the stairs. “Goodbye, Nicole.”

  Nicole lifted a hand.

  Holden watched the woman until she had climbed behind the wheel of the red car Nicole hadn’t even noticed was parked in his driveway. After she had pulled out onto the street, Holden propped a shoulder against the post at the top of the porch and looked at Nicole. “Christina and I have been seeing each other for a few weeks now. And no, I haven’t told Gage yet. He’s been a little busy, but I was going to tell him the next time I saw him.”