Sips & Strokes: Love wasn't part of the deal

by Sarah Skye

  When I finish, I wait for Morgan to say something. But there’s just silence on the phone.

  “Are you there?” I ask.

  “Oh my god. You love him!”

  I let out the most awkward and embarrassed scoff-chuckle. Then I clear my throat. “Um, well…”

  “You love him, Lily!”

  I hunch over in the lounge chair and cover my face with my free hand. “Okay, so I think I’m falling for him, but I’m not completely in love with him.”

  She makes a “pssh” sound. “You can tell yourself that, but I know better. You are completely in love with him, even if you refuse to admit it. You never gush over guys like you just did. You’ve never once spoken about any guy before like this. Not even douche canoe Marco.”

  I let the words soak in for a second. “Okay, so let’s say for the sake of argument that I’m in love with Calder. Should I tell him?”

  “Duh.”

  “But like...when?”

  “When it feels right.”

  I roll my eyes. “That’s not helpful at all. I don’t even know if he feels the same way.”

  “Okay, that’s fair. It’s scary as fuck to tell someone you love them when you don’t know if they love you. But people don’t often fall in love at the same time. That’s fine if you don’t want to run out and tell him this minute. But ask yourself this: do you want something serious with Calder? Can you envision a future with him?”

  I know the answer before I even say it.

  “Yes.”

  “Then you should tell him at some point. Because yeah, it’ll hurt like hell if you tell him you love him and he doesn’t say it back. But you know what’ll hurt more? Never knowing if he loves you because you held your feelings back.”

  I let out a breath. “Why do you always have to be right about everything? You’re like my own personal life coach, pointing out the hard stuff I need to do, even though I don’t want to do it.”

  “It’s called being a best friend.”

  Just then I hear keys in the front door.

  “Gotta go. Call you later, okay?”

  When I hang up my phone, I stand up and see Calder walking through the kitchen to the balcony.

  “I thought you said you’d be gone all day,” I say.

  He drops his backpack on the floor, then reaches his arm out to grab me by the waist and pull me against him.

  “The shoot wrapped early.”

  “Wow. I’m impressed. I assumed photoshoots were all-day affairs.”

  “They usually are. Guess I was just in the zone today.”

  He trails soft kisses along my neck.

  I close my eyes and hum. “Or maybe you just missed me and wanted to come back as soon as possible?”

  “Definitely that,” he growls softly against my skin.

  And then he kisses me in that slow, teasing way that has my clit pulsing in an instant. I run my hands through his hair as he runs his hands all over me.

  “How did the call with your agent go?” I gasp for air.

  “I rescheduled it.”

  “Why?”

  He slides a hand up my sweater and circles my nipple with this thumb. I pant at just how good it feels. “Because I’d rather be here making you come over and over on my tongue and my cock.”

  I grin at him before pulling him back to my mouth.

  “Fuck, Lily,” he growls. “Do you know how hot it is to come home and see you in my clothes?”

  “How hot is it?” I say between kisses.

  “So hot that I want to rip them off of you.”

  I break our kiss and walk toward his bedroom, stopping in the doorway. “What are you waiting for?”

  A wicked grin spreads across Calder’s face. He runs over to me and scoops me up in his arms. I squeal, remembering how he pulled this same move last night. When he drops me on the bed, I can’t help but fall into a fit of giggles. A second later he’s on top of me, caging me with his arms. The wild look in his eye sends my pulse racing. I’m grinning, giddy with anticipation.

  When I reach for his shirt to take it off, he grabs my wrists and gently pins them against the bed as he trails light kisses along the side of my neck. Then he peels his sweater off me, then his boxers, then his socks. Soon I’m naked underneath him, pulsing and writhing.

  He kisses down my stomach to the spot where I want him most. “I could do this forever with you,” he says against my skin.

  My chest tightens and my heart soars. “Me too.”

  He stops just before pressing his face between my legs to glance up at me. “I’m done faking it with you, Lily. I want us… I want this to be real.”

  For a minute, I just stare at him, wondering if I’ve heard him correctly.

  “I want that too.”

  “Then it’s settled,” he says before kissing the inside of my thigh. “We’re no longer in a fake relationship. We’re the real thing.”

  My head falls back as I savor the sensation of his lips on my body for the millionth time. “Yes. God, yes.”

  “You’re my lass, Lily.”

  “And you’re my… lad?”

  We both laugh. But then Calder reins in his expression to something more serious, more heartfelt. “I’ve been dying to hear you say that.”

  And then he puts his mouth to my throbbing clit, and I howl, my head spinning and my heart bursting that Calder Ross is officially my boyfriend.

  One week later, Calder and I have fallen into a routine that consists of going to work, then heading to each other’s places to screw each other’s brains out.

  I’ve never, ever been happier. I have a perma-grin on my face at all times. When I’m brushing my teeth, when I’m teaching class, when I’m driving. I guess consistent and frequent orgasms will have that effect on a person.

  I’m even smiling right now as I shampoo my hair in Calder’s shower. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the door swing open. There’s Calder, naked and grinning.

  “Mind if I join you?” he says as he walks toward me.

  “You never have to ask.”

  I step back and make room for him under the showerhead. Water cascades down his body in glistening sheets that highlight how cut he is.

  I lick my lips as I gaze at him. “You’re like a super sexy human waterfall.”

  He laughs, then pulls me into him and kisses me. Our tongues tangle, teasing each other until we’re breathless. I’m clawing at his body with desperate hands; he does the same. Soon his hand slips down between my legs. I inhale sharply as he starts to work his fingers on me.

  I run my hands through his hair, tugging harder the more intense it gets. The fire inside of me burns hotter and hotter as he swirls faster and faster. Soon I’m shouting, my pitchy cries bouncing against the bathroom walls. I have to clutch his shoulders to keep myself steady because my legs are jelly from the orgasm ripping through me. With his free arm braced against my back, he holds me up.

  When I start to come down, I slow-blink while giggling. Then I glance up at that smug smile on his face. “Your turn.”

  I wrap my hand around his steely thickness and slide up and down. I start slow, my eyes glued to his face. That glazed-over look in his eyes appears, and I can’t help but grin. I love knowing that I can make Calder feel this good. His jaw muscle bulges when he bites down. Then he grunts and squeezes my waist with both hands.

  I speed up, excited by just how much he’s trying to hold on—and curious as to how quickly I can get him to lose his composure.

  As it turns out, it only takes a few minutes of me making out with Calder while working his cock with my hands to get him to the end. With a growl, he spills into the shower. I rinse my hands off while dotting his neck with kisses and soft scrapes.

  He flashes that satisfied grin that always tugs at his lips after orgasms. “Fuck me, that was good.”

  “You took the words right out of my mouth.”

  He washes up while I rinse off. When I’m dried off and dressed, my phone blares from the c
offee table. I sigh when I see it’s my mom.

  “Hey, Mom. How are you?”

  “Fine, fine. Why didn’t you come Thursday night?”

  “What?”

  “To the dinner for Harmony and Marco.”

  “Um…”

  Mom says something about a celebratory rustic Italian dinner arranged by Harmony’s parents to kick off the pre-wedding festivities. It takes a second for my memory to catch up. That’s the dinner Harmony mentioned at the apple orchard last month.

  “Oh. That.” I hold back a sigh. “Sorry I missed it, but I was teaching.”

  The truth is that yes, I did teach class, but I had the whole evening free and instead of going out and doing anything, Calder and I spent it at my apartment, having sex on my couch, then against my kitchen counter, then again in my bedroom.

  “To be honest, Lily, your dad and I were very embarrassed that you just decided not to show up,” Mom says. “How do you think that makes us look? For our daughter to no-show at an important pre-wedding event for a family friend?”

  “Mom, please don’t guilt-trip me. I told Harmony when she invited me that I wasn’t sure I could come.”

  I roll my eyes just as Calder walks out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist.

  “Everything alright?” he whispers.

  I shrug and mouth the word “mom.” He nods in understanding.

  Just then I hear Auntie Mayla in the background.

  “Oh for god’s sake, Marylin. Lily isn’t contractually obligated to go to anything. She’s an adult. If she didn’t feel like going to her ex’s rustic Italian whatever, she doesn’t have to go. Would you give the poor girl a break?”

  I smile at Auntie Mayla’s defense of me.

  There’s another minute of bickering between them while I listen.

  “I certainly don’t expect you to understand the importance of wedding events given your history,” Mom says.

  I cringe at mom’s dig at Auntie Mayla’s two divorces. But then I hear Auntie Mayla’s laugh echoing in the background.

  “You’re right. I don’t. Because I know better than most what a waste all that wedding nonsense is.” She laughs once more. “You made the right choice by not going!” she hollers in the background.

  I hold back a laugh. “It sounds like you and auntie are in the middle of an important conversation. I’d better let you go.”

  Mom sighs. “Fine. But for goodness sake, please show up for the rehearsal dinner this weekend. We’re counting on you.”

  “I’ll be there. With Calder.” Just saying his name out loud makes me giddy.

  We hang up and I turn around to see Calder with his naked back to me. He’s wearing these snug silky boxer briefs. I’m about to pounce on him when I realize he’s on the phone.

  “Mate, are you serious? Fuck me, that’s good news.”

  It’s another few seconds of Calder excitedly talking before he hangs up and spins around to me, the biggest grin I’ve ever seen on his face.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  “Nate just called to tell me that Sonce made a final decision for their brand spokesman. They chose me.”

  I jump up and down while squealing. Then I run up to hug him and he scoops me up. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I cup his stubbled face with my hands and press a long kiss to his mouth.

  “Oh my god, that’s amazing, Calder! Congratulations!”

  He pulls me into another kiss before setting me down on the ground. He runs his hands through his messy damp hair, a look of disbelief and joy on his face.

  “I can’t believe I got the job.”

  “You did it,” I say softly while beaming at him. My chest squeezes at just how proud I am of Calder, at how I get to witness in person him achieving his dream.

  His gaze focuses and he looks at me. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

  He pulls me into a tight hug, then kisses me.

  “You did the hard work,” I say. “I just helped.”

  He shakes his head. “No way this would have happened without you. Thank you, Lily.”

  He presses a light kiss to my mouth before cuddling me against his bare chest once more. I close my eyes and hum. My heart feels like it’s swelling in my chest. Seeing Calder succeed—seeing him so happy—is a whole new level of bliss.

  His phone buzzes with a text. When he looks at it, his eyes go wide and his face goes pale.

  I grab his arm. “What is it? Calder, what’s wrong?”

  He swallows. “Nate says the Sonce brand execs want me to make a speech at their big holiday party in two weeks.”

  “That’s amazing.” I hold back the squealing and clapping I’m aching to do because right now, Calder looks like he’s going to be sick.

  “I hate public speaking. It makes me want to vomit. I get so bloody nervous and can’t think straight.” Calder shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. He flashes a sheepish smile. “Weird, isn’t it? I can stand in front of a class full of people completely naked with no problem. But I can’t speak in front of a crowd with my clothes on if my life depended on it.”

  There’s a frightened look in those blue-green eyes of his. It makes me want to hold him forever.

  I grab him by both hands and look him straight in the eye. “That’s not weird at all. That makes total sense. You’re perfectly comfortable being a model because you’ve done it for years, but public speaking is out of your comfort zone.”

  He nods. “That’s exactly it.”

  I cup my hand against his cheek. He closes his eyes and lets out a soft moan, like my touch is the comfort he craves.

  “It’s okay. I’ll be there with you the whole time. And you can practice in front of me as many times as it takes for you to feel comfortable.”

  When he smiles, all the worry disappears from his face. “You’d do that for me?”

  “Of course I would.”

  He rests his hands on my cheeks and stares at me with affection in his eyes. “Thank you. You offering that, you even wanting to be there for me, that means everything.” He pulls me into a hug and for the longest moment, all we do is stand and hold each other.

  When we pull apart, I head to the kitchen and grab a bottle of Sonce whisky from his cupboard. “We should celebrate. With a proper drink.”

  His hands fall to his hips as he grins. “God, I love…”

  I glance up at him.

  “… that you suggested that.” He rubs a hand over his face, clears his throat, and walks into the kitchen.

  He stands behind me as I pour two glasses and wraps his arms around my waist. Then he kisses the back of my neck through my hair as he nuzzles me. And even though my stomach is flipping at just how tantalizing it is to have Calder’s mouth on my body again and again, there’s also a warmth that consumes it. A whole new kind of comfort.

  That’s when I know. I’m not falling anymore. I’m completely, head over heels in love with Calder.

  21

  Calder

  “Ladies and gentlemen, if I could just say a few words—erm, no. Ladies and gentlemen, sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to say… I wanted to say… Sonce is fucking delicious and you should all get pissed on it and make Nate the richest bastard this side of the guy who owns Amazon. What’s his name?”

  Lily rolls her eyes at me as she applies her lipstick. I flip the blue silk tie over itself and cinch a Windsor knot, then bump my hip against hers to get some room at the vanity.

  “Come on, you’re much further along than that,” she says with a pop of her lips.

  I laugh and comb my hair. “Aye, but I’m also too busy thinking about how to be your perfect arm candy for this evening to focus much.”

  She laughs. “You’re always the perfect arm candy.”

  “I love it when you objectify me, love.”

  Her arms wrap round my neck, so I dust a light kiss on her, careful not to muss her makeup. We both turn to look in the bathroom mirror and smile. “Look at us,” she says.


  “Quite a team,” I agree. My hands are on her waist, itching to sneak underneath the tiny blue dress she has on. The contrast of her pale dress and dark skin with my dark suit and fair complexion are, in my estimation, a perfect balance all around.

  But then, I admitted to myself at least a week ago that I’m bloody smitten with this lass. Hell, the L-word had nearly snuck out of my mouth, and I’m not sure she’s ready for all that.

  You are, though. You damn well know you love her. There’s no one like her, has never been, and will likely never be. If that’s not love, then what is?

  The first time I had a thought like that, it dropped my stomach to the floor. But over this past week of sex, snuggles, and riding high on being named Sonce’s rep, the thought has just become part of it all. Yes, I love this brilliant, beautiful woman. So what? Life is short, she is beautiful, and what reason do I have to deny it? Just because I don’t want to scare the hell out of her by saying so too soon doesn’t mean it’s not real.

  I kiss the tip of her nose and look at us in the mirror again. No more faking. This is the real thing.

  “Right, so. Ready for finger foods and a side of my family?” she asks, rolling her eyes.

  “I’m mostly ready to whisper naughty things in your ear whenever you start looking too tense.”

  She blushes. “Don’t you dare.”

  “Oh, I think we both know I damn well will.”

  “God, I—”

  Lily bites her lips into a line so fast that my heart jolts. Clearly she’s holding back a thought. “You what, Professor?” I tease gently.

  “I, uh, I was just going to say that I so don’t want to go to this.”

  Not the words I wanted, but I can work with them. “No? Then we’ll stay right here in this hotel room and do all the naughty things I was going to whisper until the other guests have to call about the noise.” I plop on the bed and pat the spot next to me. “Your wish, as ever, is my command.”

  She steps into her heels and shakes her head. “While I’ve gotten much better at saying what I want lately, I’m not quite to the point where I’m prepared to completely blow people off when I’ve made a commitment. Ready?”