SM Stirling
Page 22
!” Softly: “I want to do this because I
want to, with someone I really like. Someone I love.” The hand turned insistent, and his mouth came down on hers. She scrabbled at the buttons on his shirt . . . Minutes later she linked her fingers behind his neck. “Adrian?” she said breathlessly. “Yes?” “I haven’t suddenly become made of porcelain. I like to feel how strong you are. Come on!” He snarled then; she felt a brief surge of fear, and then it turned to a savage excitement. Her long legs wrapped around him as he drove forward, lifting her in an arch off the sheepskins until only her neck and shoulders touched . . . “So,” she said much later. He lay against her; one hard arm was across her stomach, and his breath tickled on her collarbone, like butterflies in the golden glow. There was still a little tension in him; she could feel it in the muscles of his back as she stroked it, like hard living rubber under the sweat-slick skin. OK,
she thought, with a catch in her breath and a flutter beneath the breastbone. Here goes. She slid down a little more and slipped an arm behind his head; he stirred and murmured drowsily. Then she arched her neck up and began to pull him down towards the base of her throat. He growled, a low rippling sound in his chest. Her heart beat faster as his hand gripped her shoulder, hard almost to the point of pain. The lips touched the taut skin— “No!” It was half a shout as he came fully awake. “What are you doing?” She caught his face in her hands to keep him from scrabbling too far away. “Well, that’s
an invitation too, lover,” she said firmly. He reared back. “You don’t know what you’re talking about!” “Yes, I do
. I’m talking about helping you with what you need. I’m your lover, right? That’s what lovers do. And, buster, I expect to enjoy it too. That’s part of the package as well.” “You want me to drink your blood
?” “Yeah. Exactly. I want you to drink my blood. Not more than I can spare, of course!” He quivered. “I’ve spent my life fighting not to—” “You’ve been fighting not to take
blood. That’s wrong. That’s like rape. Now that I know about it, the way you fought it makes me love you more.” He panted, then seemed to come to self-control. “Then how can you ask me to give up the fight?” “I’m not. I would never
try to sabotage what you’ve done.” She took a deep breath herself. “I’m . . . a little scared here, myself, Adrian. But . . . I’m asking
you to drink some of my blood. It’ll make me feel very good too. That’s like making love, as far as I can see.” “You’re . . . addicted—” “Not right now. I got a fix night before this as far as the goddamned drug in Shadowspawn spit goes. This is about you and me.” Softly. “Come on, Adrian. This is your mind. I’m not physically here. We’re safe, right? I’ve thought about this.” “I don’t want to hurt you! If I drink here, it’ll feel
exactly the same as reality for both of us . . . until we wake up, at least. How could I stop myself when we’re back together in the real world?” “That’s just it. If it’s just the same, you can test
whether you can stop. And . . . even if you can’t, here, this time, I . . . won’t be angry with you. We’ll just know that it’s not an option. But I think you can.” “Nothing can stop me, if I start,” he said desolately. “Yes. You
can stop you. So I
can stop you. I’d say, No, can’t spare any right now
and you’d stop and go back to the horrible stuff from the blood bank.” His gaze turned from its inward lock, and a smile warmed them without quite reaching his lips. “You trust me that much?” he said quietly. “I trust you that way with other things. You’re a lot stronger than I am physically, and I always knew that, so I trusted you every time I got into bed with you, or even was alone with you. Trusted you not to hurt me; trusted you not to make me do anything I really didn’t want to. I couldn’t physically stop you; I had to rely on your being a . . . good person. How’s this different?” “I . . . the need is very strong,” he said softly. “And I’m not a good person. I just try to act like one.” “Adrian, that’s what a good person is
; someone who controls what they do
. You’re what you do, not what you think about doing. And even your crazy sister can stop feeding on me when she decides to, and she doesn’t care about me at all, not really. I trust you with my life
.” “You would have to,” he said somberly. “I . . . don’t . . . Who could be worthy of that?” “Adrian, you’ve got the Power. If we’re going to live together, the only way I can do it is knowing you won’t use it on me against my will. But you can’t stop being what you are.” “Ellie, more than anything, I don’t want to hurt you.” “I know. I really believe that now. That’s why
we should try this. But not if you say no. It’s got to be both of us.” He turned on his stomach and put his face in his hands; she could feel his back shake with muffled sobs as she stroked it. “It’s all right, Adrian. Whatever you decide, it’s all right.” She cuddled against him. Gradually the tremors ceased. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand as he turned over to face her, unselfconsciously. I haven’t often seen a man who can do that
, she thought. He regarded her levelly, the gold flecks in his irises glinting a little. “You are sure?” “Yes. Well, I’m feeling fluttery and breathing quickly and my heart’s racing, but yeah, I’ve decided
I want to try it. Bite
me, for God’s sake. That’s an order
.” She brought their faces together. “I need to do this
with someone I love, too.” One arm went under her shoulders. She let her head fall back against his biceps and arched her neck again. Then she put her arms around his shoulders, hand behind head. “Do it.” The mouth touched her throat, and she felt the familiar motion of the lips and tongue arranging the angle. The feeding bite is verra precise. For a single instant a stab of cold terror went through her, like ice water in her chest and stomach, and something inside her screamed: What . . . are . . . you . . .
doing! Nonononono! Then the teeth, hard against the skin, and a faint growl, rumbling, deeper than Adrienne’s. The sting of the cut, as the incisors moved in their exact lateral slice. Instantly the fear vanished. Warmth surged through her, deeper as she made no resistance. The blood flowed strongly under the hard insistent suction of the feeding, but she could move a little, though lights swam in front of her eyes. Her free hand stroked his throat, feeling the swallows. Peace was utter and complete, a fulfillment that needed nothing more. “Oh, yes,” she murmured. “Yes. Take it. Take what you need.” She waited for a time that stretched. Then: “That’s enough, lover,” she whispered. Nothing changed, except that his grip on her shoulder tightened. She tugged at his head and pushed at his jaw—feebly, the lightest touch against the ruthless predator’s strength she felt. Her mind forced her lips to move: “That’s enough. Adrian, stop. Stop!
” One more long moment . . . and his mouth broke away from her neck with a small wet sound, and he rolled over onto his back, shuddering. The cut itched fiercely for a moment, then almost vanished; she was just barely aware of it. Ellen gave an exultant wiggle. “Oh, my
,” she murmured, and raised herself on one elbow to look down at him. His eyes were closed; there was a slight smile on his lips, where beads of her blood glistened darker than rubies in the firelight. “Your mind was like . . . moonlight making a path on water,” he said. “You say the nicest things,” she chuckled, and leaned down to kiss him. The blood tasted of salt and metal, like the sea but with a hint of organic muskiness. “I wish I could taste
that the way you do,” she said, with her hands on his shoulders. “I think . . . here . . . you can. Let me try.” His hand buried itself in her tangled gold hair and held their foreheads together. There was a tickling behind her eyes . . . “Oh!
” she said. Like golden light poured down the throat until the tongue tingled with it, like the taste of song, like the thing that wine tried and tried and failed to be, like an infant’s memory of mother’s milk, and caramel and spi
ces and the first sip of darkly rich hot chocolate on a winter’s day. “Oh, God
, no wonder you want it!” she blurted. His eyes opened. “Now you know.” “Now we
know.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN “S
o, any contact?” “Yes,” Adrian said. He finished dressing and leaned against the musty-sour smelling wall of the motel room and hissed as he cautiously stretched the healing leg. The Power could speed the process, but he still needed to make sure there weren’t adhesions if he was going to recover full use. The pain was deep but not shrill; he monitored it carefully. Pain is just a sensation. Let it go by without paying too much attention. It’s
paying attention to pain that hurts. “OK, that was informative,” Harvey said dryly. Adrian grinned. “I had a nice long chat with Ellen.” And fortunately woke up first, so I could attend to the . . . evidence. “She’s . . . nothing worse has happened to her. Except that Adrienne forced her to spend a day shopping
together. Adrienne was buying her clothes and seeing to her hairdo.” Harvey’s worn face scrunched. “Hell, that’s
a new one, and I thought I was something of an expert on Shadowspawn brutality. ’Course, it would only be hell for me
to be forced to spend a day looking at clothes ’n’ shoes and shit. Lots of females like that stuff.” “How perceptive. You were divorced three times, Harv. I wonder why? At least I like
shopping, within reason.” “They all left you too!” “Yes, but that was because I wasn’t human, not because I was but did it badly like you, my old. To a woman, forced shopping is probably a subtle but horrible form of psychosexual dominance behavior.” “I think I liked you better depressive,” Harvey said dryly. “Why so cheerful?” “Amid the dresses and pantyhose, Adrienne had lunch with Michiko . . . and Dale Shadowblade.” “Oooohhh, shit
.” The humor died out of Harvey’s eyes. “That is one mean motherfucker, even in the crowd he runs with. This is good
news?” “Hell, yes, Harv. Because of what they all discussed. Ellen could not get all the details; much of the conversation was in languages she did not know. But Adrienne is using the credit she got with Hajime to get him to have his . . . not precisely a birthday party. A celebration called Prayer for Long Life.” Harvey snorted and finished pulling on his leather jacket. “Interestin’, on account of he’s been dead since I was about ten, and I’m no spring prairie chicken.” “They’ve adapted it to take Second Birth into account. And Adrienne is trying to convince him to have it at her estate.” Harvey’s blue eyes went blank with calculation. “Oh-ho
. Slip you in amid the inevitable screw-ups? Me as backup? Get Ellen out?” “And kill Adrienne.” Adrian nodded grimly. “No point without that. We may have to run. Hajime could come after us in New Mexico easily enough. But it is
an opportunity.” “I can see that would make a man happy. Maybe too
happy. I’ll plug into the Shadowspawn rumor mill. Too easy to get details, and it’s a trap. Hard, but they’re there, probably genuine.” Adrian’s grin grew wider. “And Ellen wants to come back to me,” he said. “Now that we can be . . . honest with each other. I never really thought that would be possible.” Harvey whistled softly between his teeth. “I was hopin’
things would turn out OK for you two. But I wasn’t holding my breath, exactly.” “Neither was I. But Ellen was . . . quite convincing.” “Got mentally laid, did you? That does
tend to cheer a man up.” Adrian made a rude gesture, as much as he could with one knee clasped to his chest. “I have never been loved . . . loved for myself—
you understand? At most, only for the mask I wore, and that for a little while. This is . . . marvelous.” The older man hesitated. “You realize, you’re her lifeline right now? I’m not saying she’s not honest, but . . .” “. . . but her feelings might change once she is no longer in Adrienne’s power. Yes, that is possible, but I don’t think it’s likely. And that, my friend, makes me feel very good indeed. Even more anxious for Ellen, but . . . good.” He finished the exercises and walked over to his bed. His nose wrinkled slightly; the sheets hadn’t been used before they arrived, but they’d been musty. Now they smelled stale with his pain-sweat and faint traces from the bandaged wounds. He still sat. This whole place smelled bad. “And I was thinking also of larger matters.” “Uh-oh
. Sex and philosophy. That’s a dangerous duo.” “Salop
. No, I meant what you said to Sheila the other day. The Power is here to stay. And while it’s good that Ellie trusts me, humans cannot live on our individual forbearance. We must learn how to . . . to untangle that kludge evolution handed us. The blood and pain and death, they are accidents
. With the Power itself, and enough knowledge, we could make it the common inheritance of humanity.” “Well, yeah. Except that almost all the people with a lot of the Power are your unesteemed sister’s sort. Can you see her working as a receptionist?” “We could be . . . doctors. Therapists. Even police.” “Christ, Adrian, you gonna start singin’ kumbaya
next?” “Harvey, we have switched roles in a week.” Adrian laughed. “But seriously, a lot of it is the way we are raised
. You raised me
from my early teens, and I didn’t turn out so very bad, eh?” “Yeah. Now I’m playing pessimist. OK, first order of business, let’s sort out the files on the Brézé properties and figure which one is going to be the site of this monster jamboree. Ellen said it was an all-day trip on a motorcycle?” Adrian nodded. “Denn die Todten reiten schnell
.” “She’s not dead, but she does drive damn quick,” Harvey said, completing the bilingual pun. “Speed demons, both of you. Still, it was all on two-lanes . . . OK, here’s the possibilities . . .” This stuff does make riding a motorcycle more comfortable
, Ellen thought. She was in a suit of tight leathers, canary-yellow with red trim, as they rumbled through the streets of Rancho Sangre at sunset. The wheels of the machine ground fallen cherry-blossoms under their treads. Cooking smells drifted from homes and restaurants; it was dinnertime, in the early-February gloaming. I’m also less scared
, she thought. For one thing, Adrienne didn’t drive like a complete maniac on the way back. And she hasn’t fed on me today. “You didn’t need to be terrified and I wasn’t frustrated and angry at the world,” Adrienne said. “And while your blood is unfailingly delicious, I snacked elsewhere in San Francisco. Pretty drive on the inland roads too, isn’t it?” “Yes, and I had more time to pay attention.” “It comes to me that you are feeling less totally isolated and hopeless and psychologically crushed than I would have expected at this stage in our relationship,” the Shadowspawn said thoughtfully. “But I can’t quite tell why
. It’s a pity. I am so looking forward to your abandoned misery and the transference and identification with the aggressor and so forth.” “I . . . ah, sorry . . . Look, I could try
to feel more crushed . . .” “Oh, that’s very sweet of you, but there’s no problem. The full pleasures of your abject emotional degradation can wait. We’re not in a hurry. Anticipation has its own spice, and I’m a little busy right now anyway.” Eurrrrk! The motorcycle swerved inward in front of the police station, a blank wall of stucco with a gate of wrought iron; a round machicolated tower showed at one corner. Less than a minute after she kicked down the stand and took off her helmet to shake her hair free the police chief was standing at not-quite-attention on the sidewalk. He was a man in early middle age; Hispanic, Ellen thought, lean and grizzled. Beside him was the Englishman she had met before leading the patrol of Asian soldiers—Gurkhas, they were called. He gave her a small polite inclination of the head before standing at parade rest. “There’s a problem, Captain Bates?” Adrienne asked. “It’s Jamal, I’m afraid, ma’am,” the ex-soldier said. “Shortly after you left, he . . . went missing. He took hiking clothes and food and headed up into the high country. Southwest, I think.” “Tsk,” Adrienne said. “That won’t do at all
.” Her head swiveled, t
he tousled black hair swirling about her shoulders; a frown of concentration grew between her brows. Once they have tasted of your blood you are linked, linked forever
, Ellen thought to herself. “Yes,” Adrienne said, opening her eyes again. The gold flecks seemed to glitter. “Southwest. Not far, either. Working his way south through the hills on foot.” “Suicide by cop, pretty much,” Mendoza said. “I told
you we didn’t have to worry, Bates. I grew up here.” The Englishman smiled, a thin, eager expression. “My men could use the practice tracking.” Adrienne chuckled. “Oh, Captain Bates, this is Rancho Sangre of twenty-first-century California, not Tara in antebellum Georgia. We don’t chase people with bloodhounds and drag them back in chains. Besides, it wouldn’t be safe. Safe for your men.” Looking over her shoulder, Ellen could see the corner of her grin. She turned her face, but not before she saw both men blanch a little. “Safe, ma’am?” Bates asked carefully. “There are large, predatory beasts in that area at night. Or there will be. Mankillers. Very dangerous.” Despite herself, Ellen shivered and laid her head between the other’s shoulders. Adrienne sighed and made a gesture with one hand, palm up and fingers cupping. “It’s a pity. Jamal . . . Jamal was so deliciously meaty
. Like jerk pork. It was nice to have that on hand.” I’m more like dessert,
Ellen thought. Oh, Jesus. The poor man. “You wouldn’t say poor man
if you knew more about Jamal, chérie
,” Adrienne cast over her shoulder. The police chief cleared his throat. “The . . . preparations for your parents’ arrival are at the casa grande
, Doña
. From San Simeon, this time. There will be no repercussions requiring your attention.” “Oh, excellent, Chief Mendoza. I can always rely on you.” “There was a child, I am afraid. A baby girl, perhaps four months. Jose’s mother is taking care of her.” Wait a minute . . . a baby? “Good. We wouldn’t want the poor mite to be traumatized. Speaking of which, it’s fortunate you’re both here. We’re going to be having a bit of a gathering, a do