Fourth of July at the Corral

by Debra St. John

  “Would you ask him?”

  “Sure.” More than likely he’d say no, especially after what she had to tell him. He certainly wouldn’t want to do her any favors. He might never want to lay eyes on her again.

  Her stomach did a sickening, slow motion roll, then crawled into her throat along with her heart when Tyler walked through the door. She swallowed to force both organs back into place.

  “Hey, you.” The generic greeting sounded intimate and oh-so-sexy coming from him.

  “Hey, yourself.” Back in her chest where it belonged, her heart tripped faster.

  “Well, speak of the devil.”

  Drat. Pam had forgotten Tina was still there.

  Tyler arched an eyebrow.

  “We were just talking about you,” Tina said.

  “Oh really.”

  “Yep.” An appreciative gleam lit the other waitress’s eyes as her gaze traveled across the wide span of his shoulders and down to his trim waist.

  Part of Pam, the part resembling a small green monster taking a bite out of her insides, wanted to claw out Tina’s eyes. Another part, a most grateful one, wanted to hug her for not staring at the scars on Tyler’s still ridiculously handsome face.

  Tina cocked her head. “You look familiar. Have we met before?”

  The breath whooshed from Pam’s lungs. Of course Tyler looked familiar. Kyle was the spitting image of him. Would Tina make the connection?

  Tyler shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

  “Hmn? Well, anyway, I wanted Pam to ask you if you’d be interested in being part of our Fourth of July parade here in town. But since you’re here, I can ask you myself.” Tina dimpled at him.

  The green monster won. Pam gripped the handles of the picnic basket tighter to quell the urge to smack her friend.

  “I…” Tyler hesitated. He turned to Pam, his eyes uncertain. “Can I think about it?” he answered Tina.

  “Of course. Just let me know. Or Pam can pass the message along.” Tina’s tone lost its flirtatiousness. “I hope you really will consider it. We’d like to honor you for your service.”

  Tyler nodded. “Thank you.”

  “No. Thank you.” Tina headed down the hall toward the lockers.

  Pam blinked away the moisture in her eyes. She turned away so Tyler wouldn’t see.

  “You all set?”

  She nodded and patted the basket. “I have everything right here.”

  “Let me carry that for you.” Tyler looped it over his left arm. “Where to?” He strode beside her through the gravel parking lot.

  “There’s a nice grassy area over here.” She gestured near the edge of the woods at the side of The Corral.

  Tyler stopped. “Actually, I was hoping we could go to the stream.”

  Chills and heat chased through Pam, vying for control of her body. That summer, their summer, they’d spent hours down by the stream. Talking. Laughing. Making love.

  “Don’t worry.” Tyler brushed a finger across her cheek. Goosebumps erupted on her arms. “I won’t try anything,” he teased.

  Had he read her mind?

  “I just want to talk.” He looked away, then back. “In Afghanistan, I thought about that place a lot. It was calming. It helped me find peace in a world filled with violence.”

  “Okay, let’s go there.” How could she say no? Besides, maybe it was poetic. More than likely Kyle had been conceived on the banks of the stream. Telling Tyler about his son there would bring them full circle.

  Or ruin a happy memory that helped him cope with the horror of war.

  Well, that would give the ever-present guilt more sustenance to chew on, wouldn’t it?

  Tyler offered to drive in his rental: a Jeep with the canvas sides rolled away, letting the warm summer wind in to toss her hair around. Even though it had been almost three years, he made the turn onto Woodland Road without her needing to prompt him. After about another mile, he steered the Jeep into a small, gravel area, not quite big enough to be called a parking lot.

  After sliding out of the vehicle, Tyler stood at the edge of the woods. He lifted his face to the sky and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. When he opened them, he turned to her and held out his right hand. In his left, he held the picnic basket.

  As if it were the most natural thing in the world, as if they hadn’t been apart for more than three hours, let alone years, she laced her fingers through his. His boots kicked up little puffs of dirt on the path as they ventured into the woods.

  Pam let the soothing coolness of the shade seep into her pores. What was it about trees that was so calming? Again without prompting, Tyler took the fork bending left.

  “You have a good memory.”

  He looked over. “I remember everything about that summer.”

  The intensity of his gaze made her stumble. His firm grip steadied her on her feet.

  She remembered everything about that summer, too. Including how their idyllic time together had ended with the most colossal lie she’d ever told. Over the rustle of the leaves, the sound of running water grew louder. Tyler’s steps quickened. At the bottom of a small hill, a stream burbled as it meandered through the trees. He veered to the left where a miniature waterfall splashed over a small precipice.

  He stopped, once again raising his face to the sky and inhaling deeply. His breath puffed out in a soft sigh. “It’s just how I remembered it.”

  Pam could only nod as tears clogged her throat. The soft, echoing rush of the water filled the absence of words. Birds chirped overhead. The leaves and limbs of the trees brushed together.

  “Do you come here a lot?” The question held a deeper meaning beneath the surface.

  “No.” She hadn’t been back since the last time they’d been there together. The memories, although good ones, were too bittersweet. Today, there might be bad ones to add to the mix.

  “Should we sit?” He nodded toward a log that had fallen in the perfect spot to make a bench.

  “Sure.”

  He set down the basket, and she opened it to take out the plastic containers of chicken and potato salad.

  He opened his and forked a piece of chicken into his mouth, followed by a scoop of potato salad. He swallowed. “I can’t tell you how good this tastes after countless MREs. Not to mention the hospital food since I’ve been back.”

  In contrast, her meal had all the flavor of sawdust. He’d been through so much. She swallowed the tasteless bite.

  “Aren’t you hungry?” He pointed his fork at her untouched container.

  “Not really.” The tangled knot of nerves in her stomach didn’t leave any room for food. “Do you want mine?”

  The longing was apparent as he eyed her meal. “Are you sure?”

  “Positive.” She handed it to him. It was a sin to let anything Zach made go to waste. Someone might as well enjoy it.

  When Tyler finished, he slid off the log to rest his back against it, stretched his legs, and crossed his feet at the ankles. He looked out over the water: the epitome of happy contentment.

  Damn. She didn’t want to ruin the peaceful moment. Lord knows, they were probably few and far between in his life. But she had to tell him. He deserved to know. “Tyler, there’s something I—”

  “Come sit by me.” He patted the ground next to him.

  Like always from the very beginning, she couldn’t resist him. She scooted off the fallen tree and mimicked his pose against the log. The sense of absolute rightness when he put his arm around her and drew her closer shook her to the very core. Her head dropped to his shoulder.

  The sweet familiarity took her back to a simpler time. Before he’d headed off to a war halfway around the world. Before she’d known just how drastically her life would change. Before she lied to him.

  Pam straightened. She couldn’t get caught up in the past. Not when there were still so many things unspoken in the present. “I need to tell you something.”

  Tyler looked at her with those clear blue eyes. “Ok
ay, but me first.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I just want you to know that I thought about you every single day when I was over there. Every time I was home on leave I had to fight the urge to come here to see you. As badly as I wanted to see you, I also wanted to protect you from the chaos and uncertainty of my world. When I got out of the hospital, I wasn’t strong enough to resist anymore. This was the only place I wanted to be. I needed you.” The pad of his thumb brushed her lower lip.

  Pam’s pulse raced. Her breath caught. An odd combination of anguish and joy surged through her.

  “I can’t believe I’m really here. With you. It’s like nothing’s changed.” His mouth quirked. “I know I promised I wouldn’t try anything, but…I can’t help myself. I missed you.” His lips claimed hers in a tender kiss that ignited her body and melted her heart.

  Chapter Three

  Pam closed the door and leaned against it with her eyes closed.

  “You didn’t tell him.”

  They popped open. “How do you know?”

  Mom’s lips curved in a sad smile. “I know you. Call it maternal instinct or whatever you want, but I can read you like a book.”

  “Mommy.” Kyle ran toward her, arms outstretched.

  She stooped to scoop him up and gather him close. His arms squeezed her neck as she breathed in the sweet scent of baby shampoo in his mop of curly reddish-blond hair. “How’s my little man? Did you have fun with Grandma?”

  “Yes.” He wriggled until she set him down. “Let’s play.” He led her to a pile of Army men on the floor. One by one he set them in a row on the coffee table.

  Pam pretzeled her legs and joined him on the rug. “Were you setting the scene in case Tyler”—her voice hitched on his name—“came here with me?” she asked Mom.

  “No. That’s what Kyle chose to play with.”

  Pam arched a brow.

  “I swear, I had nothing to do with it.” She paused. “You have to tell him.”

  “I know.”

  Kyle looked up with round eyes at the harsh words. Their blue matched the exact shade of Tyler’s.

  “Here, Kyle.” She calmed her voice and handed him a little green soldier. Would her son grow up to be a military man like his father? Was there some genetic code that produced the desire to serve your country? Or was it the way someone was raised? Tyler’s father was a career military man. Tyler was heading that way as well.

  How would that affect his role in Kyle’s life? Assuming he wanted a role in Kyle’s life. Would he want shared custody when he was home on leave?

  How long was leave? A few weeks? A month? Would Tyler come here to see Kyle or would he want to take him home? An ache grabbed Pam’s heart. She’d never been away from Kyle longer than the length of her shift. Or a few hours for a romantic picnic in the woods.

  No. Now wasn’t the time to get caught up in memories of warm, firm lips. Breath mating and hearts beating as one as strong arms held her close enough to feel the imprint of dog tags against her chest.

  “So what happened? You were all set to tell him.”

  Pam jerked back to the present. Would Mom correctly read the blush heating her cheeks? “Tyler’s so content. All he talked about was how peaceful he feels here. I…I couldn’t ruin that.” And when he kissed her…

  Okay, so they were back to that. One track mind anyone? But it really wasn’t her fault. Because it had been a heart pounding, memory-stirring, familiar, wonderful kiss. All she’d wanted to do was kiss him back and not ruin the perfect moment for her. Add selfish to her list of growing sins.

  “You need to tell him before he finds out from someone else.”

  Pam frowned. “No one knows he’s Kyle’s father.”

  “All done.” Kyle pointed to the row of soldiers on the table.

  “Good job, little man.”

  “Again.” Kyle swept his open hand across the toys, scattering them across the rug. Much like the pieces of her life.

  “But everyone knows Kyle. If Tyler hears you have a son, he’ll put two and two together. You don’t want him to find out that way.”

  No. She didn’t. “Toss me my phone, would you?”

  ****

  Tyler glanced at the screen of his buzzing phone. A matching buzz of adrenaline shot through him. Pam. He swiped his thumb across the green icon. “Hey, you.”

  “Hey, yourself.”

  A grin tugged at his mouth, which still tingled from their kiss. They’d fallen back into the familiar greeting as if no time had passed at all. Being back here with Pam made it seem as if the last three years had been a dream. A nightmare at times. But here, with her, the world was good and right again.

  “Thanks for bringing the picnic. It was the perfect day.”

  Silence. Had they been disconnected?

  “Pam? Are you still there?”

  “Yeah, sorry. I, um, look, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” She sounded…odd.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Y-yes. I wanted to talk to you today, but I…”

  “Okay, let’s talk. What is it?”

  “Not on the phone.”

  “I could come to your place tonight.” He wanted to talk to her too. About the future. Their future. And then who knows, maybe talking could lead to something else. Something he hadn’t allowed himself to think about too often in Afghanistan, because he would have gone crazy from wanting her. Just as he was going a bit crazy right now remembering how good it felt to hold her and kiss her again by the stream today.

  “No.” Was that a touch of panic in her voice? Strange. “I mean, I have something I need to do tonight. Could we meet after my shift tomorrow? I’m off at three.”

  “Sure.” He could survive for one more day. He’d survived a hell of a lot worse. “At The Corral?”

  Pam hesitated. “We can meet there and then decide where we want to go.”

  Back to her place. Or his. Although bunking in his buddy’s old bedroom at his mom’s house didn’t really constitute a place of his own. Nor was it very private. Mrs. Hudson was a dear, but what was he going to do? Wave hello to her as she sat in front of the TV watching her evening game shows as he passed by with Pam on the way to the bedroom?

  Nope, they’d better stick to her place. After he declared his intentions of course. First things first. He would do things right this time around.

  Three years ago the pregnancy scare brought an abrupt end to an otherwise idyllic summer. Still reeling from the close call and how two little pink lines could have drastically changed the course of his life, he’d left for OCS without sharing his feelings with Pam. And regretted it ever since.

  He wasn’t about to make the same mistake again. He wanted her to be a part of his life. It wouldn’t be easy. The separation would be hell, but they’d find a way to manage.

  Someday down the line, who knows? Maybe children would be part of their future. Not anytime soon, though. Not when the Middle East was still such a clusterfuck, and boots were needed on the ground. He’d sworn an oath and was honor bound to wear those boots.

  Leaving Pam when he headed back would be hard enough. Leaving a family behind would be damn near impossible.

  ****

  With shaking hands Pam counted her tips, then put a portion in the bus boys’ jar. She tossed her apron in the laundry basket. From her locker she grabbed a brush and yanked it through the long strands of her hair until it crackled with electricity. Should she touch up her mascara and liner? Nope. Not with how badly her hands shook. She’d probably poke out her eye.

  She grabbed her purse from the top shelf, then closed the door. She leaned her forehead against the cool metal surface, which did nothing to calm the ragged edge of her nerves.

  No more stalling. It wouldn’t get any easier the longer she waited.

  On the way out of the small office, she ran into Darla. “We’re working on the float for the parade Saturday afternoon if you want to come on by and help.”

  “Sure. I’
ll be there.” If Tyler didn’t shoot her. Even the morbid humor couldn’t loosen the knot in her stomach.

  “Great. Oh, and be sure to bring Kyle. We need his handprints for the flag. Plus, I haven’t seen him in forever. How is your favorite man these days?”

  “Can’t imagine my life without him.”

  Darla walked off as Tyler appeared around the corner. Pam started. Had he heard Darla mention Kyle? Resisting the urge to place her hand over her heart to make sure it didn’t jump out of her chest, Pam offered Tyler a weak smile. Would he notice how much effort it cost her?

  “Hey you.”

  “Hey yourself.” The familiar wordplay eased some of the tension. “Thanks for meeting me here.”

  He cocked his head to the side. “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

  “I’m fine.” A whopper if there ever was one. “I just need to tell you something, and I don’t really know how to do it.”

  Tyler’s brows furrowed, but he took her hand. “You can tell me anything.”

  She nodded. A quick jerky movement.

  “Do you want to get something to drink?” He pointed his chin toward the restaurant.

  “No. Can we go for a walk?”

  “Whatever you want.”

  Pam cursed herself to Hades and back for taking comfort in the warm hand wrapped around hers. She didn’t deserve it.

  In silence they walked toward the trees a little ways off. When they reached the picnic table at the edge of the woods, Tyler sat across from her.

  He squeezed her hand. “You look so scared. Is what you have to tell me really that bad?”

  She gulped. “I don’t know.”

  A shadow dimmed the light in Tyler’s eyes. He looked away. “I think I know what this is about.”

  Her pulse rocketed to the moon and back. “You do?” Her voice squeaked.

  “Yes.” His was resigned. “It’s about Kyle, isn’t it?”

  Every cell, organ, muscle, and tissue in her body froze. Marines knew CPR, right? Because she was going to need someone to pound on her chest to get her heart started again.