Until I Die Again [On The Way To Heaven] (Soul Change Novel)

by Tina Wainscott

  She slid into one of the swinging chairs and smiled at Juicy. He was short, in his mid-fifties with a sprinkling of white curly hair on his dark-skinned head. His one gold tooth made his smile all that much more dazzling. He took her in with a curious smile.

  “It is?”

  He nodded, his light brown eyes wide and sparkling. “The bossman,” he whispered, “him be downright ornery since he came back without you.”

  She grinned. “You think he…missed me?”

  “Yah, I think so. You got to stay ‘round here more often.”

  “Well, maybe I will, Juicy. Maybe I will.”

  Unless Jamie booted her out on her behind. As much as she wanted to believe that he missed her, she didn’t want to be lured into a false sense of security. After all, he had refused to let her come with him to Caterina in the first place.

  Juicy studied her, and she felt transparent. Then he leaned forward and whispered, “Dat thing dat happened in your brain. It changed you.”

  Her eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

  “Everybody has an aura around them,” he explained, illustrating with his hands. “Yours was blue before, cool and sad, all tangled up. No, you couldn’t see it with the eye, but some can feel it. Now, Mrs. D, yours be pink, warm and friendly.”

  She sat under his scrutiny, wondering if he would accuse her of being someone else. An imposter. But he touched her hand. “Welcome to Caterina.”

  When he turned away to fix a drink for someone who had been waiting on the pool side, she exhaled the long breath she had been holding. How could he tell? Most importantly, would he tell anyone? Jamie would throw them both off the island at such a preposterous idea. Or send them both to the Sharp Rehabilitation Center.

  A few minutes later, Juicy placed a pink frozen drink in front of her. “This be a very special drink your husband make up.”

  She sipped through the straw, holding the sweet mixture in her mouth for a moment before swallowing. “This is delicious. What is it?”

  Juicy smiled in a soft way. “It be called Hallie’s Comet.”

  She flushed, but her grin held. “He made this up for me?”

  Juicy leaned forward and pointed at her. “Yes, for you. Pink like your aura. Exact same color.”

  She took another sip. “But Hallie’s aura…my aura was blue before.”

  He smiled again, with a knowing light in his eyes. “For you, Mrs. D. He made it for you.”

  Wow. What Juicy was implying… She felt like spilling the entire story to him, of her death and rebirth as Hallie. Oh, to share her thoughts and problems with someone. But even with his strange revelations, could she trust him?

  Juicy stopped wiping down the bar. “Mr. D might be down in the courtyard by the garden.” He pointed. “Down that way for a few minutes, ‘den to the right.” He looked at her expectantly.

  She slid out of the swing and looked in the direction he had pointed. “Thanks for the directions.”

  He shrugged. “Didn’t want you to get lost, Mrs. D.”

  She ambled down the white pathway that snaked amongst the flora and fauna, wondering if she didn’t already feel more at home here than the former Hallie ever had. If only Jamie would accept her into his heart again. Finding him alone was crucial. Maybe then she would have a chance to convince him to let her stay.

  “What is your problem, man?”

  Jamie looked up from the paperwork and met his brother’s eyes. Despite the harshness of the question, he saw concern in their brown depths.

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  Miguel splayed his big hand on his chest, feigning a hurt look. “I cannot believe that you won’t confide in me. But that’s okay because I already know what it is. Or rather, who it is. Only one person could get to you like this.”

  “Hallie … I didn’t know you were coming here?” a female voice said a few yards away.

  Miguel lifted an eyebrow, but Jamie walked over to where the rose bushes left a clear pathway to the pool. There stood the woman who had haunted his dreams every hour of the previous two nights. Annoyingly, his heart lurched at the sight of her. In annoyance, of course.

  Looking uncomfortable under Renee’s glare, Hallie looked to him for help. She reminded him of a lost little girl. Then she straightened and met each of their eyes, ending with Renee.

  Lifting her chin, Hallie answered, “I’m here to see my husband,” accenting the last word in a possessive way.

  “Excuse us for a minute.” Jamie took Hallie’s hand and led her far away to the courtyard. He kept walking, getting far enough away so that no one could overhear them. The extra time gave him a chance to organize his thoughts. At present, several emotions ran through him, including anger, frustration, and one he refused to name, much less acknowledge. When they reached a secluded area, he stopped and turned her around to face him.

  “Hallie…”

  “Was that Renee?”

  She interrupted his thought-out tirade, throwing him off. “Yes, why? Don’t tell me you remember her of all people?”

  “Your mother was kind enough to fill me in on your blossoming romance.”

  “My mother—” Her arms were crossed over her chest, her lips pursed. He couldn’t believe it; she was jealous. “Hallie, can we discuss the issue at hand?”

  “I think this is the issue at hand. She’s the reason you didn’t want me here, isn’t she?”

  “I didn’t want you here because our marriage is over. Because you hate it here. Which brings me to the question I had intended to ask you before you started in. What are you doing here?”

  “You’re my husband, and I belong here with you.”

  He couldn’t help the sarcastic laughter that bellowed from some bitter well inside him. “I only wish you had felt that way before. You were back in California for a third of our marriage.”

  She held her arms rigid at her sides. “That was before, this is now.”

  “Now is too late. Hallie, go back home.”

  “This is my home.”

  She was acting as stubborn as ever, although this time it was aimed in a completely new direction. Well, he would teach her. He’d let her stay. Soon enough she’d remember why she didn’t like Caterina. She would become bored and restless and go back to California. Maybe he could help speed that up.

  He raised his arms in surrender. “Fine, you can stay at the house until a bungalow becomes available. Do you know where it is?”

  “No. They took my luggage there, but I came right here.”

  He started walking away. “Follow me.”

  Fate did not want him to get on with his life. It was throwing Hallie at him at a time when he was finally ready to let her go. He could only hope she would see that their marriage was dead and could never be revived.

  He knew she must be exhausted from her long trip, and her eyes, fiery with determination earlier, were showing signs of weariness. Even so, throughout their long walk to the house, she stopped several times to smell a rose, admire a gardenia bush in full bloom, and run her fingers through the soft, feathery leaves of a Poinciana tree. The gardens had never affected her before.

  “There it is,” he said when they reached the house. Her lack of response made him turn to see if she was still back there. She was standing several yards back, staring at the house with wonder. “Do you remember it?”

  “No, but it’s wonderful.”

  He tried to imagine how it must appear through eyes that had not seen it before. With its simple, white beauty, gardens flanking the entrance and inviting front porch, it did present an impressive sight.

  “Go on in. The door isn’t locked. I’d say make yourself at home, but I’d rather you didn’t.”

  He watched her walk slowly up to the front doors, then disappear inside. She was a mystery. He had loved her so much once, but that love was gone. Or was it?

  It is.

  He turned and walked back down the pathway. It most definitely damned was.

  The
first rays of sunshine beckoned Jamie from a light sleep. He turned over to see if he had dreamed about Hallie showing up at Caterina. It hadn’t been a dream. She was there, her blonde hair in a tumble, the sheet barely covering her breasts. He leaned up on one arm and studied her. She told him she wanted a second chance. Then she’d been disconcerted about sharing the only bed in the house, shocked to discover she slept in the nude, and embarrassed about getting undressed in front of him.

  She hadn’t resorted at all to her teasing ways of getting what she wanted. And if what she wanted was him, why? What had made her change her mind? The doctor had said the stroke robbed her memory, but it wouldn’t change her personality. So what had happened to her?

  Under closed eyelids, her eyes twitched in REM sleep, and he wondered what she was dreaming about. He had not slept much at all; thoughts of the stranger sleeping naked beside him dominated his night. The gremlin that made him wake with morning wood turned his thoughts toward sweet awakenings many months ago, when he had kissed her awake and started the day off making love to her. Things had been so different then, so…

  Dreamy thoughts were shattered as Hallie’s scream of anguish pierced the quiet morning air.

  CHAPTER 10

  Hallie bolted upright, perspiring and desperately searching the room for some reality to clutch. When Jamie touched her arm, she jerked away, then realizing who it was, doubled over and buried her face in the sheets.

  He put his arm across her bare back and leaned down by her ear. “Hallie, what’s wrong? Does your head hurt? Talk to me.” His words shot out at her.

  She shook her head, then slowly sat up again. When she glanced down and saw her bare breasts, she snatched the sheets and covered herself.

  “It was a nightmare,” she said between deep breaths. Her face was pale, her eyes widened.

  His hand was still on the smooth, warm skin of her back, lending unspoken support. He let out his own deep breath, a sigh of relief. “God, I thought you were dying.”

  He studied her eyes, and she blinked to clear away the trace of fear.

  She leaned forward, her gaze piercing his. “I’m not going to die again, Jamie. Not for a long time.”

  “I’m glad you’re so confident. Do you want to talk about it? The nightmare, I mean. Sometimes it helps.”

  She looked off into nothingness, as if trying to conjure the image again, then shook her head. “I just want to forget about it.”

  He slipped from the bed, put on a bathing suit, and pushed open the slider. The pool right off the bedroom, down two steps, so she could see it from her place in bed. Reflections of the blue sky and clouds scattered as he plunged into the pool.

  Hallie stayed in bed with the sheets wrapped tightly around her, listening to the sound of quiet splashing. The nightmare’s cold grip left its chilled marks on her soul. Now she understood something that had puzzled her: her terrified reaction when that semi had pulled into her lane. In her dream, she drove across one of those awful bridges and a truck smashed into her. But it was no accident. The driver had purposely pushed her to the side of the bridge, then careened into her car to ensure that she dropped off the edge and into the ravine.

  She shivered again. Maybe her original bridge nightmare was simply adding events from her imagination. Maybe…her eyes closed, and the truck smashed into her thoughts. They snapped open again. Not her imagination. She was seeing the end of her life as Chris Copestakes.

  She leaned forward and rested her chin on her knees, pulling her fingers through her hair in rapid strokes. Why did someone who didn’t even know her want to kill her? Or did he know her? She tried to bring the nightmare back, seeing the truck jerk into her car, shove her off the bridge. The driver could have been drunk, but the action seemed deliberate. Perhaps a random act of violence then. That kind of thing happened all the time, though never in small town Maven. Had the police found this reckless murderer?

  Kneading her temples, she pushed those thoughts from her mind and tried to think of something else. Like the sight of Jamie’s bare, tight buttocks as he had walked to the dresser and slipped on a bathing suit. No, not those thoughts! What else? Like exploring the island.

  Jamie slipped effortlessly through the blue water, his strokes even and calm. He was not fighting demons, just taking his usual morning swthosehe swim. She climbed out of bed, grabbed some clothes, and headed to the bathroom. Her naked reflection caught her eye, and she stopped. She hadn’t actually studied the body she now occupied. It felt like, well, almost like looking at someone else’s naked body.

  Her breasts were large, but they didn’t sag. Her stomach was almost flat, though her hips were a bit wide. And her thighs were a bit too large. She should be in that pool swimming with Jamie. But that was his private time, and she didn’t want to intrude. She would find another way to tone up. It was something she’d never had to worry about before.

  She ran her hands down her sides, feeling the swell of her breasts and the ridges of her rib bones, then across her stomach and over her pelvic bones that jutted out ever so slightly. Her body now.

  The sound of the sliding glass door opening made her jump, and she slipped around the corner into the room where the toilet was. The shower started. She slipped on a T-shirt and short overalls. Steam billowed over the glass door that was fogged up… but not so much that she couldn’t see his tan silhouette as he washed his hair. Lord have mercy.

  No, really. Have mercy!

  Hallie was putting on socks and sneakers when Jamie appeared at the long counter, a beige towel snug around his waist. He glanced at her before smoothing shaving cream over his chin and cheeks.

  “Is that new?” he said between lips stretched to one side as he started to shave.

  She stood and took a few steps toward him. “What, my outfit? Yes, do you like it?”

  He glanced at her again, and she had to stifle a giggle. He looked like a sexy Santa Claus with his foamy beard and mustache.

  “Yeah, I do. I’ve never seen you wear anything like that before.”

  “Thanks.”

  He went back to shaving, and the movement of his muscles fascinated her. His back was wide and tan, and she felt an urge to trail her finger down the crevice of his spine and capture the droplets of water there. The towel hugged buttocks that almost looked as intriguing clothed as they did naked. The back of his calves were finely shaped, strong and…

  “So what are your plans for the day?”

  His voice broke her out of her reverie. She instantly blushed, wondering if he had caught her staring at him.

  “Oh, I thought I’d explore the island, check Caterina out.”

  “Mm,” he said with a nod. “That’s something you’ve never done before.”

  “What did I do around here?”

  “You sat around the pool and complained.”

  “That was all I did? All day?”

  “Sometimes you drank at the bar, talked with the guests.”

  “Speaking of the bar, I had a Hallie’s Comet when I arrived. What a sweet thought.”

  “Foolish is the word. But,” he said, stretching to diminish the words, “I was in love, I had just bought Caterina, and I thought I had the world by the tail feathers. The only thing that could have made me happier then was to have my father there to see it.”

  “Did I ever meet your father?”

  “No, he passed away a year before we met. My father taught me to go after my dreams with every ounce of spirit I had. And I did. Unfortunately, it took all the money he left to buy this place.”

  “Why did you buy Caterina? I mean, it’s not every man who dreams of buying part of an island.” But then again, Jamie wasn’t just any man.

  “When I was fourteen, my father had good luck in the stock market and took us for a month-long vacation at a resort on Grand Cayman Island. I was ruined for any other kind of life. Caterina was owned by a recluse, and when he died, the estate put the place on the market. Miguel and I invested our inheritances and turned it
into a resort.”

  He washed off the last of the lather, and she turned away just as he untied his towel and caught it before it hit the floor. The man had no shame.

  When he emerged from the closet, he was wearing baggy white pants and a black shirt with a crew neck. “I’ve got to go over some figures with the accountant this morning. Have fun in the jungle.”

  Hallie thought it was a good time to ask. “Jamie? I’m a pretty good number cruncher. Is there room for someone else in the accounting department?”

  He looked at her as if she had just asked where she could go skydiving. Finally, he shrugged. “I’ll ask Renee if she needs any help.”

  Her face went red at the name, half angry, half embarrassed at her outburst the morning before. Wouldn’t want your mistress and your wife working side by side, now would we? an unwelcome voice said. “No, that’s all right. Maybe I can find something else to do around here.”

  “Okay. See you later.”

  “When?” she asked, trying to keep the eagerness from her voice.

  “Tonight, most likely.”

  He left, and she tried to stave off the feelings of worry and loneliness. He was meeting Renee that morning. Would that woman put her hands on his body, feel him inside her? The thought made Hallie’s mind roar with rage, but she kept her feelings in check. Jamie didn’t realize it yet, and neither did Renee, but the game had a new opponent. What she knew about seduction could be written on a grain of sand, but she was going to learn the craft quickly. Her marriage depended on it.

  Miguel hung up with the travel agent, dumped a bunch of papers in his drawer, and headed over to the café for lunch. As he rounded the rose garden, the sight of Hallie stopped him short. She was standing absolutely still, her shoulders stiff, staring at Jamie and Renee laughing together at a side table. A starry-eyed Renee laughing with Jamie was nothing new to Miguel, though he wasn’t immune to his feelings because of the fact. No, it still hurt to see her ogling his brother.

  He quietly walked up beside Hallie. “They’re discussing business.”