Defining Moments

by Ben Burgess Jr.

  I hated the way I sounded. This wasn’t me. I felt slimy, phony. I couldn’t believe the bullshit that was spewing out of my mouth. I was ashamed of myself.

  “Nope. As far as I’m concerned, we’re done here. Sure, taking his money would make me rich, but it would only give him the green light to rape more black women. I want him to rot in prison. I’m gonna be his last victim.”

  I knew the media would eat up Sophia’s brave story of not wanting anything from Johnny but justice. There was no doubt: she’d make shitloads of money doing interviews going that route.

  “Let your douche-bag client know I’ll see his ass in court. Tell him, don’t drop the soap when he goes to prison.”

  I sighed and nodded. “I’m sorry we couldn’t work this out. Please, if you do change your mind, let Jerrod know. I hope you’ll reconsider and put more thought into settling this misunderstanding.”

  “Nah, there’s nothing to think about. I want justice.”

  Sophia stood up. I wished her well, and we walked our separate ways. Then I immediately called Richard.

  “We have a problem with the Alfieri case,” I said.

  “Bill, please tell me you got the stripper to sign the papers,” Richard said.

  “Unfortunately, no. She’s standing firm with her accusations. She said she doesn’t want Johnny’s money. All she wants is to make sure he goes to prison for what he’s done and never rapes another woman again. She wants the world to see that just because he’s a celebrity, it doesn’t make him above the law. Those were her words.”

  “I was hoping this would’ve been open and shut, and she’d be smart enough to take the fucking money, but now we’ll show her no mercy,” Richard said. “All over the news, I see clips of her using this incident to make herself famous. By the end of this trial, I want her to be infamous. Billy, I need the world to see her for the whore she is. Dig up every nasty detail about her past.”

  I sighed. “I understand, sir.”

  “Good. Handle it and keep Francis and me posted.”

  He ended the call, and like clockwork, Francis called me.

  “Tell me you have good news for me,” he said.

  “I wish I could.”

  “What happened?”

  I filled him in on what went down.

  “We got some strategizing to do, but it’s no biggie. Right now, his public image is crucial. We’ll do a charity event. We’ll surround him with some smiling black and Hispanic kids from the hood. We’ll have him hand out a few basketballs, sign some autographs, and he’ll be like the Messiah to those people.”

  I realized this was going to be an ugly battle, and it was already turning me ugly.

  Chapter 6

  Ben

  History

  “All right, Mom, I gotta go. I’m here at the restaurant,” I said, sticking a finger in my ear to drown out the noise.

  I rushed to end the conversation with my mom after she made several comparisons between Becky and Gabby. I’d initially called to tell my parents about the case, but somehow, the conversation had evolved into a lecture. She made it clear that she preferred for me to be with Gabby instead. I said goodbye to her, then shot a quick text to Becky, explaining that I was going to get coffee with Gabby and Terrence. I wished her a good day, and I couldn’t wait to tell her about my case later. I sent out another text to Terrence, letting him know what coffee shop to meet Gabby and me at. Then I walked into The Bean on Second Avenue in Manhattan. It was a nice, quaint coffee shop on the Lower East Side.

  My eyes darted around the crowded room as I scanned it for Gabby. I spotted her. She waved me over, and I weaved through the crowd to get to our table. She was wearing a black pencil skirt that clung to her curves. She wore subtle makeup on her flawless brown skin, and her eyebrows were done to perfection. Gabby was an all-around gorgeous woman. Her beauty and intelligence had always attracted me to her. She was one of my best friends. There was a time when I was in love with her and wanted more than a friendship, but I didn’t have the same feelings now that I had when we were younger.

  Gabby handled mergers and acquisitions law for Akerman LLP, another huge New York law firm.

  “Hey,” I said, greeting her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

  “What’s up, Big Head?”

  I smiled at her childhood nickname for me. “Terrence is on his way here too,” I said.

  “Ugh, why did you invite that punk?”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “What are you going to eat?” she asked.

  “Nothing. I’m just going to get coffee. Becky and I have dinner plans tonight with her parents.”

  “Ugh, hearing her name is blasphemy to me.”

  “Anyway, the partners at my firm assigned me the murder case for that rapper, Co-Kayne. If I can pull off a miracle and get him cleared, they’ll consider making me a partner.”

  “Wow, you think you can win?” she asked.

  “It seems damn near impossible, but I need this win. I’ll find an angle. It doesn’t stop there, though. Remember that white guy at my firm, Bill, the one I told you is dating a sista?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Yeah.”

  “Well, my firm is also handling that basketball player’s rape case, and they assigned it to him. Since both of our cases are legal nightmares, the partners figured the odds of both of us winning were slim to none, so they gave him the same agreement—that whichever one of us got the best results would get the partnership.”

  I gave her more details about my case.

  “So, you’re competing against a white guy?” Gabby said. “You better hope you win. You know as well as I do the partners are rooting for you to fail.”

  “I feel that way too, but I need this partnership. I see how chummy they are with him, and I know they have him pegged to win, but they’re going to be highly disappointed when I pull off a win with this case.”

  “Well, at least you have a positive mind-set. Did you tell your little white girlfriend the news yet?” The bitterness in her tone rose.

  I sighed. “No, I didn’t tell Becky yet. I didn’t even tell my parents. You’re the first person I’m explaining it to after I handled everything.”

  I knew she’d enjoyed having that little victory.

  “Ugh, you’re not the only sellout here,” she said, pointing at an interracial couple.

  “Don’t start with that today.”

  “It’s becoming a fucking epidemic. It’s not enough that white people run the world. Now they have to take all the successful black men.”

  “I see brothers hitting on you all the time, and you always make an excuse for why they aren’t good enough.”

  “I’m saving myself for you,” she said, playfully punching me in the arm.

  “It’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?”

  “Nope, I don’t believe that. Eventually, you’ll come to your senses, see the truth about your snowflake, and drop her.”

  “You pushed me away, remember?” I said. “I met Becky because you snubbed me.”

  “We all make mistakes. I’ve waited years to correct this one. You want your usual coffee order?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Hold our table. I’ll get it.”

  I nodded and stared at her as she got in line. There was no doubt Gabby loved me, but I questioned if it was based on romance or if it was competitiveness because she couldn’t have me. Before I dated Becky, Gabby only viewed me as a friend. Once I made things official with Becky and stopped chasing after Gabby, she wanted to be in a relationship with me.

  My mind drifted back to my childhood and how my drama with Gabby led me to date Becky.

  * * *

  I went to private school all of my adolescent life. My parents adamantly pushed me to befriend minorities whenever possible. I figured it was their way of helping me not to forget who I was. Growing up, my best friend was Terrence. Terrence’s parents were successful African American bankers. Not too many of us black kids were
in school. The number of minority students was in the single digits, including Terrence and me, which didn’t leave me with a lot of options when it came to looking at girls my parents would approve of, but that changed when I met Gabby.

  I had eyes for Gabrielle Thomas since sixth grade. Even back then, I was drawn to her. To me, she was the smartest and prettiest girl I’d ever seen. I remembered when I would write love letters to her, and she would correct them and hand them back to me. My mom would laugh and say, “Oh, she’s just playing hard to get. She’ll come around.” I was determined to get her to like me.

  Her parents were both successful, one a professor at Columbia and the other an orthopedic surgeon for Winthrop Hospital. Her family lived two blocks away from me, and since her mom and dad were both successful black people, our parents hit it off and became good friends. They hung out at our house often. Gabby idolized my mom, and once she expressed interest in becoming a lawyer, my mom took Gabby under her wing and mentored her.

  I was a whipped puppy around Gabby. I canceled plans with Terrence if she asked, and brought her along to play video games, study, and watch TV with us whenever she wanted me to.

  My infatuation grew the older I got. She had boyfriends growing up, and I had my fair share of girlfriend, but I didn’t take them seriously. I viewed them as practice for when I finally convinced Gabby that we were meant to be together. I’d wanted to say fuck it and move on, to find a girl who appreciated me, but every time I felt like I was close to getting over her, she showed me the sensitive side that I knew she hid under all her toughness, and it sucked me back in to wanting her.

  Growing up, when her boyfriends broke her heart, I dropped whatever I was doing and comforted her. I was there for her through so many heartbreaks. I played on the basketball team and ran track, even though I hated running so that I could bond and be closer to her since she enjoyed those sports as well. We confided in each other and trusted each other with our dreams, fears, and secrets, but no matter how close we were, she never took me out of the friend zone.

  Our senior year, Gabby promised she’d be my date to the prom, but reneged and took some other guy she met online named Tyshaun, or her nickname for him, “Freaky Ty.” That hurt. I remembered my mom comforting me and saying, “Baby, she’ll come around. She’s going through a selfish phase right now.”

  “Selfish phase or not, it’s time to let her go, son,” my dad said.

  “Oh, hush, Curtis. I put you through the same shit when you were courting me,” Mom replied.

  “You never did anything this selfish. Gabby promised our son she’d be his date and broke it off to go with another guy without any remorse. That’s blatantly disrespectful.” Dad turned to me. “Move on.”

  I ended up not going to my school’s prom, but Mom wouldn’t drop it. She told me I’d regret missing the experience and forced me to go to another school’s prom. Mom played matchmaker with a woman from our church named Jonna. She and her daughter Erica matched me up with their good friend Lynn. Lynn was gorgeous, and while I thought there could be a connection there, she was still hung up on her ex-boyfriend, so the relationship was over before it started.

  When it was time for college, my parents wanted me to follow in their footsteps and go to a historically black college, preferably Howard University in Washington, D.C., where they met and were alumni, but in my heart, I truly believed Gabby was my soul mate. I didn’t want to risk losing out on dating her one day, so against their wishes, I applied to Columbia to go to college with Gabby.

  We studied, worked out, and hung out together all the time. I was around her more than her loser boyfriend. In my mind, she loved me too, but she was trying to be a good girl and stay loyal to Tyshaun.

  Sophomore year, I felt my chance had finally come when he dumped her.

  Terrence and I were headed to Equinox Gym to work out and play basketball when my cell phone rang.

  “Hold up. It’s Gabby,” I said.

  “Don’t answer it. We got plans already, and once you talk to her, I know she’s going to fuck everything up,” Terrence said.

  “I’ll be quick.”

  “How are you so pussy whipped and didn’t get the pussy yet?” Terrence laughed.

  “Shut up, punk.”I laughed too.

  I answered my cell phone. “What’s up, Gabby?”

  Gabby spoke so fast that the words sounded like gibberish.

  “Slow down. What happened?”

  “Tyshaun broke up with me for some cheerleader he’s fucking at his school,”she cried.

  “Damn, I’m sorry.”

  “I need you right now. Can we hang out?”

  “Hold on, OK?”

  I muted my phone. Terrence threw up his hands.

  “C’mon, man, she always does this shit, and you go running whenever she calls,” he said.

  “It’s not like that. Tyshaun broke up with her-”

  “So? Tell her she needs to use this time to reflect on what she did to fuck her relationship up. We got plans,” he said.

  I shook my head. “She needs me.”

  “No, she doesn’t. I should’ve known you were gonna drop everything for her. She’s going to give you DSB.”

  “What? DSB?”

  “Deadly sperm build-up, bro. Tell her if she’s going to ruin your plans, she can at least let you fuck, so you don’t suffer from blue balls.”

  “You got jokes.”

  We laughed.

  “Don’t worry about it, Ben. Take care of your girl. I hope you finally get her.”

  I mouthed, “Thank you,” and unmuted the phone as he waved and headed out. “Gabby, I want to take you out on a date.”

  “I just asked you to hang out, Big Head.”

  “Nah, I don’t mean hanging out like you do with Terrence and me. I mean you and me on a real date. Can we do that tonight?”

  There was a long pause before she said, “Sure.”

  * * *

  I picked up Gabby and took her to Frames Bowling Lounge on Ninth Avenue in Manhattan. I figured we’d do something fun to take her mind off Ty.

  “Thanks for taking me out, Big Head,” Gabby said.

  I smiled. “I always have your back. You know that.”

  “I know.”

  We laughed, bowled, and had a good time, but I noticed her facial expression changing during one of our games.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked.

  “I just saw Ty walk in here with what I’m guessing is the bitch he left me for.”

  I looked around. “Where is he?”

  “He spotted me, winked, and left.” She looked hurt by the encounter.

  “Do you want to go somewhere else? I don’t mind.”

  “Nah, I’m fine here. Fuck him.”

  I grabbed her hand and held it in mine. I listened to her vent and let her get the anger out of her system. I wined and dined Gabby to show her my intentions were for us to become more than friends finally, but as the night went on, our date felt more like she was only with me out of familiarity and comfort rather than attraction and love.

  * * *

  We went back to my house.

  “I’m cold,” Gabby said.

  I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling, disappointed that our date didn’t go the way I’d wanted, while Gabby dug into my closet and pulled out my rumpled Columbia University sweatshirt.

  “What’s wrong? Why are you pouting?”

  “I’m not pouting. You wouldn’t understand.”

  “I know you like me, Ben–”

  “So, give me a chance.”

  “Maybe one day ... Look, I’m going to shower. When I come back, I expect you to have nothing on.”

  “Wait-what? Are you serious?”

  “With the kind of day I had, I need a good fuck. Can you give me that, or do I have to find someone else?”

  “No, no. I can handle it ... I mean you,” I stammered.

  Gabby smirked and winked at me. “We’ll see.”

  I hear
d the shower turn on, so I swiftly dimmed the lights in my bedroom and lit candles. I stripped off my clothes and sucked on one of the Listerine strips I kept inside my nightstand. I was anxious and as hard as a rock. I’d waited for this opportunity for so long. I wanted everything to be perfect. I needed Gabby to realize I was the perfect guy for her.

  Gabby came out of my bathroom, and her towel slipped off her wet hourglass figure and fell to the floor. She stood in front of me naked.

  “You ready?” she asked, her voice a hoarse whisper.

  I walked up to her. I saw there was doubt in her eyes, but I needed her to be comfortable and understand that this moment wouldn’t hurt our friendship-it would evolve our relationship into something more, something better.

  I rubbed my hands down her curves and eased Gabby onto my bed, laying her gently on her back. She widened her legs for me. I wasted no time bathing her treasure with my tongue. She moaned, twisted, and turned, pulling the back of my head and pushing my tongue deeper inside her. I sucked on her clit with a steady rhythm. She moaned loudly and tossed her head back against a pillow. Her thighs shook in my hands; her breathing came out in quick pants.

  “Oh shit, Ty,” she groaned.

  I pulled my mouth off her. “I’m not him.”

  “Sorry ... Oh fuck. Don’t stop, Ben.”

  I slipped two fingers inside her, which caused her to scream out, “Oh shit.”

  I pumped them in and out of her in a rapid rhythm to draw her mind off Tyshaun and have it focused on only me.

  Then I leaned over and pulled out a condom from my nightstand. I opened that packet and rolled it onto my throbbing erection.

  Gabby grabbed my cock and guided it inside her.

  I wanted to savor this moment, to lock this memory and sensation of being emotionally and physically connected to her forever.

  I stared into her eyes. “You all right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You don’t seem like you’re into this. Do you want me to stop?”