69 Million Things I Hate About You

by Kira Archer

Kiersten flashed a huge grin. “Give me a break. I’m new to this rebel thing.”

  Cass snorted. “Obviously.”

  The three of them sat with their heads together, staring at her phone until it buzzed again.

  Go home and sleep it off. I’ll see you in the office tomorrow.

  “Wow. He’s harder to crack than I thought,” Kiersten said.

  Sorry, Boss Man. I’ve got a lot of party left in me and not nearly enough hours. Not wasting any sleeping.

  They waited again, but no returning text came.

  “Well, what does that mean?” Cass asked. “You getting fired, or not?”

  Kiersten shrugged. “I have no idea. I can’t imagine he’ll let me get away with basically telling him to fuck off so I can party.”

  “Maybe he just wants to do it in person,” Izzy said.

  Kiersten’s stomach sank. She would so rather get fired over the phone. Fired by text was vastly preferable to having to look Cole in the face while he told her to get lost.

  “I don’t know,” Cass said. “I filed your hiring contract, remember? If he fires you, you get a great severance package. Maybe he’s trying to save himself some money by cutting her a little slack. Or maybe he just likes her,” she said, winking at Kiersten. “Because I doubt he’d let anyone else talk to him that way, for any reason.”

  “Oh, please. It’s just because if I walk, he can’t run his life. Or maybe he’s drunk, too.”

  They all laughed at the thought of the always-together Cole being hammered.

  “I’m sure even I would get fired eventually. He might cut me a little slack because I know where all the bodies are buried—”

  “There are bodies?” asked Cass.

  “Figuratively speaking,” Kiersten said. “But even I can’t get away with too much.”

  Izzy shrugged. “I don’t know, Kiersten. Looks like you’re getting away with more than anyone else I’ve ever seen.”

  “So why don’t we put it to the test?” Cass asked with a mischievous smile.

  “What do you mean?” Kiersten asked.

  Cass shrugged. “I wonder how far he’d let it go before caving and firing you.”

  Kiersten looked around at her friends and opened her mouth to say no…but she smiled instead. Izzy whipped out her phone and pulled up a calendar. “Pick your date.”

  Kiersten laughed. “He’ll throw me out on my ass the second I walk through his door Monday.”

  Izzy grinned and typed her name into the square for Monday’s date, May 1.

  Cass shook her head. “I don’t know. You do everything for him. I don’t think he can function without you anymore. You could probably get away with a lot more than just a drunken late night text and still keep your job. I give it two weeks before he snaps.”

  “I’ll go halfsies and say you’re history by end of the week,” Izzy said, typing her name into her square.

  “And just to make this really interesting…” Izzy fiddled with her phone for a minute, and then Cass and Kiersten’s phones both beeped.

  Kiersten looked at the notification, her eyes growing wide. “You posted it to the assistants’ email loop?”

  “Why not? Might as well go all in here and really have some fun.”

  “They’re going to wonder why.”

  Cass laughed. “She said why, see?” She pointed at the description.

  Kiersten has had enough and is going to have some fun messing with her boss. How long before she gets fired?

  As she was speaking, dates started filling in on the shared Google Doc.

  “Well, that’ll get me fired for sure,” Kiersten said. “You know IT monitors everything on the company computers.”

  Izzy snorted. “Please. He barely checks his own stuff, let alone anything with the word ‘assistant’ on it. That’s what he has you for.”

  “Not for long,” Cass said.

  Kiersten grinned again, excitement building in her. She’d never been anything but one-hundred percent totally professional around Cole. Hell, she still refused to call him by his first name, despite his repeated attempts to get her to do just that. Plus, Cole was the most organized person she knew. He liked order, and went through meticulous lengths to get it. His assistant coming in and throwing a wrench into things was sure to stir up some trouble.

  Izzy raised her glass again. “To the Lotto Pool.”

  Kiersten and Cass clinked their glasses with a little nod to each other and they all drained their drinks.

  “Wait, we can’t call it that, or everyone will know,” Izzy said.

  “Oh yeah, right. Okay, to the Termination Pool,” Cass said.

  They all clinked glasses again before dissolving into alcohol-infused giggles.

  “Well,” Kiersten said, putting down her empty glass and standing up to smooth her dress down her hips. “Since I’m not working tonight, I say some dancing is in order.”

  Laughing, the other two girls got up and followed Kiersten to the dance floor. Come morning, Kiersten was going to see what her boss was really made of. She just hoped she could pull it off. In the meantime, she was going to party her ass off.

  Chapter Six

  Cole stood near the entrance of the club, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the seizure-inducing strobe lights that flashed in time to the beat.

  “You’re never going to find her in here,” Brooks said, leaning closer to shout in Cole’s ear.

  Cole ignored him and kept scanning the interior. He realized that tracking the GPS in Kiersten’s company phone and following her to the club was teetering into creepy territory, but she’d never done anything like this before. Not since she’d worked for him, in any case. And he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going on. Those texts…from anyone else he’d be livid. They’d have been fired before they’d hit send. Coming from Kiersten? Once he’d gotten over the shock, he’d laughed. And then he’d decided to cross the line and find her before she got herself into trouble.

  He finally spotted her dancing with her friends and elbowed Brooks. Brooks gave him that “you’re crazy” look and stood back to watch. Cole ignored him and went to fetch his wayward assistant. The gyrating crowd parted before him like an ice cutter slicing through a frozen sea. He stopped a few feet from Kiersten and her friends. She looked…nothing like herself. He nearly lifted a hand to make sure his jaw wasn’t hanging open. Her thick hair flowed over her shoulders in a honey-colored wave, and her tight little body was encased in a sparkly black dress that hugged every curve. Curves that were on incredible display as she moved to the beat of the music.

  He knew the exact moment she spotted him. She froze on the dance floor, causing the friend she’d been dancing near to bump into her. Her friend glanced over, saw him as well, and leaned over to talk into Kiersten’s ear. A slow smile grew on Kiersten’s full, tempting lips. She kept her eyes locked with his as she made her way through the crowd to him. He stood there and watched her come to him. She didn’t stop until she was only a couple inches away, far closer than she’d normally stand, invading his personal space. He had to hold his breath to keep from closing his eyes and inhaling her scent like it was a fine wine.

  “Mr. Harrington, didn’t expect to see you here tonight,” she said, her words nearly lost in the blaring music.

  His forehead creased in a frown, and she leaned up on her tiptoes so he could hear her better. “Just couldn’t live without me, huh? How’d you find me?”

  He cocked his head, taking in everything about her appearance and demeanor. She hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary, had she been speaking to anyone else. But her whole attitude seemed to have shifted. There was something more…open about her, more real. She spoke to him like he was a man, not her boss. It was tantalizing, probably inappropriate, and completely intoxicating.

  “I tracked your company phone,” he said, leaning in to her so she could hear him. And so he could get closer to her. The temptation to reach out and wrap his hands around her luscious curves was al
most overwhelming.

  She looked back up at him, her eyes widening. “That’s some next-level, Christian Grey stalker shit right there.”

  That startled a laugh out of him. “Fan of Fifty Shades, are you?”

  She gave him a slow, sensual grin that had fireworks going off in his veins. “The fact that you got the reference intrigues me.”

  He shrugged. “Old Christian and I have quite a lot in common. Money. A helicopter.” He looked her up and down, heat shooting through his body at just the luscious sight of her. “A fondness for innocent assistants who have no business being anywhere near us.”

  That smile of hers grew wider. “I’ve got a secret, sir.” She moved in closer to whisper in his ear. “Sometimes we aren’t as innocent as we look.”

  She took his hand and crooked her finger at him with the other, pulling him with her onto the dance floor. “Come on, Mr. Grey. Dance with me.”

  Oh, that was such a bad idea he wouldn’t even have time to name all the ways it could blow up in his face. Didn’t matter, because at the moment he really didn’t give a shit about anything but getting his grind on with whoever had body-snatched his assistant. Maybe it was the alcohol. He couldn’t recall ever having seen her drink before. Then again, he only saw her at work. Well, he’d seen her at practically every moment of the day. He spent more time with her than anyone else. But…it was all in a work context. He liked this one much, much better.

  He briefly glanced at Brooks, who was staring at him with an almost cartoonish expression of pure shock. Yeah. He was about to do something out of the ordinary, and completely ill advised. And he had never felt more alive.

  He wrapped a hand around Kiersten’s waist and drew her against him. She already swayed to the music, and his body followed her lead. Within a second and a half, he knew he’d made a huge mistake, but there was no turning back now, even if he wanted to.

  She draped an arm around his neck and leaned back, the bottom half of her body pressed against him while the rest provided an enticing view. He pulled her back up and moved with her, their bodies grinding and swaying. The beat of the music pumped through him, amped him up even more. How the hell people danced like this without flat-out fucking on the dance floor he didn’t know. Well, looking around, it seemed several people were very nearly full-on screwing. Lucky bastards.

  Kiersten spun around and pressed her back to him; her hair flipped to one side, leaving her neck exposed. He wrapped his arm around her waist, keeping her locked to him, and leaned down to breathe her in. The line of her shoulder into the graceful curve of her neck might be one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen.

  Her arm came up to cradle his head, bringing his lips oh-so-close to the creamy expanse of her neck. It took every ounce of willpower he had not to lean down a fraction of an inch more and taste her.

  Maybe she sensed his struggle, because she stopped and slowly turned in his arms. She stared into his eyes for what felt like an eternity. Her hands came up to rest on his chest, not pushing him away, not pulling him closer. He had no idea what she wanted him to do. Kiss her? Release her? Maybe she didn’t know herself. He knew the feeling. Then her eyes widened. Not in lust, or surprise, or even anger. The only thing he saw reflected in those gorgeous brown depths was sheer panic.

  He realized what was happening just about the same time she did and pulled her off the dance floor toward the nearest planter. They got there a fraction of a second late and the spectacular display of vomit coming out of her sprayed across his shirt before he could aim her into the plant. He scooped her hair out of the way and held her while she puked up everything she’d eaten since she was eight.

  Well, not quite the way he’d seen the night ending.

  Within moments, her friends had rallied around her. He passed her into their more capable hands, though he found he was reluctant to let her go. Even with the aroma of what had just happened stinging his nostrils and the near-certain destruction of his favorite shirt, his uppermost desire was to make sure she was all right.

  “Mr. Harrington,” she said, covering her mouth with her hand. “I’m so sorry.”

  He waved her off. “Don’t worry about it.”

  He pulled out his phone and quickly texted his driver to meet them at the door. “You—Izzy, is it?” he asked, pointing to one of the ladies who was dabbing at Kiersten with a tissue.

  The woman’s eyes widened. “Yes, sir?”

  Kiersten snorted. “Oh sure, her name you remember.”

  It took about everything he had not to grin at her just then. So she had noticed he kept botching her name. He kept his attention on Izzy. “My driver will meet you out front to take you home. Make sure you get her taken care of.”

  Izzy’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Of course we’ll take care of her. She’s our friend.”

  He’d offended her, which hadn’t been his intention. But he’d found the facade of Asshole Boss Man handy over the years, so instead of apologizing, he raised an eyebrow, staring at her until she broke eye contact.

  “We’ll make sure she’s all right,” the other woman, Cassandra if he remembered right, chimed in.

  “Good,” he said, rewarding her with a slight smile. He escorted them to the door and practically shoved them into his waiting car. The urge to get in himself and pull her onto his lap so he could hold her all the way home was too appealing. And irritating. He didn’t have the time or energy for whatever nonsense was happening in his head. Best course of action was to fall back on old habits. No more rocking the boat.

  “I need her back in working condition by Monday morning.”

  Kiersten perked up at that, her face flushing with anger. She sat up to retaliate, but he shut the door before she could say anything. The door muffled her actual words, but the heat behind them was evident, and he chuckled as the car pulled away.

  He wasn’t sure what was going on with her, but the new spirit she was exhibiting had awakened something in him that he’d thought long dead. Whatever had caused the change in her, he hoped it didn’t go away any time soon. He’d admired and relied on the old Kiersten. Discovering she had a passionate, spunky side made her damn near the perfect package.

  That he could never touch.

  His amusement died away, but the memory of her moving in his arms was one he’d never forget. Kiersten was one of the very few he’d let his guard down with, and he was beginning to think he’d made a grave mistake. Her behavior in the club was a case in point. The woman who was responsible for the cold shower and sleepless night he was about to have was not the woman who’d been showing up to his office every day for the past six months.

  So who was the real Kiersten? The uber-reliable assistant who had unfailingly run his life for the last several months? Or the tempting bombshell who would feature prominently in his wet dreams for the next forty or fifty years? Or was she someone else entirely?

  He had to know. For the sake of his company, and his own sanity.

  Chapter Seven

  Kiersten leaned against Cass’s desk, trying to control her roiling stomach.

  Cole hadn’t come in yet, but he should be there any second. And after Saturday night…the thought of facing him made her want to run and hide under her desk. He hadn’t called her once the day before, and that was incredibly unusual. Maybe she’d stepped over the line with her bump-and-grind routine. At least that should make getting fired easy.

  “Relax,” Cass said. “You’ll be fine.”

  “That’s what you said before I made him dance with me. And then instead of firing me on the spot, he actually got into it.”

  Izzy snorted. “Pretty sure you were getting into it, too.”

  Kiersten threw the last of her bagel at Izzy, who just ducked and laughed. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you weren’t aware of your enthusiastic participation.”

  If Kiersten had something else to throw at her friend, she would have. Unfortunately, she was all out of bagel. “I thought the whole point was to make it appear
enthusiastic so he’d think I was into him and fire me for trying to come on to him.”

  Izzy nodded. “You did a really, really good job.”

  Kiersten’s jaw dropped, and she grabbed the nearest thing she could find, a cup full of paper clips, and started chucking those at Izzy’s head while her friend dodged the projectiles behind a file folder and laughed.

  “Hey, I need those,” Cass said, confiscating the paper clips. She looked Kiersten up and down. “Aren’t you a little put together? I thought you were going full-on crazy cat lady today.”

  “I had an appointment with Mr. Meyer, remember?”

  Izzy came out from behind her folder. “I thought that was later today.”

  Kiersten shook her head. “He called and rescheduled.”

  “So, what did he say?”

  “If you guys had come with me, you’d know.”

  Izzy threw one of the paper clips back at her. “People would notice if all three of us got to work late because we were talking to some big-shot lawyer. Kind of hard to keep this whole thing under wraps if we’re all doing something weird like that. You’re always running in and out for Mr. Harrington, so I doubt anyone who saw you would think twice.”

  “So?” Cass asked. “What’d he say?”

  She glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention to them. “He’s going to get everything set up for us so it’ll be all ready once we claim the money. Financial consultants and getting the money transferred to different accounts and all that. I mean, we can’t just go to the bank and hand them some massive check. He’ll get everything taken care of for us.”

  “I still can’t believe we won the whole pot,” Cass said.

  Kiersten grinned. “And,” she said, making sure Cass and Izzy were still paying attention. “He suggested I keep the ticket in a safety deposit box until then, so we got that set up.”

  They all grabbed hands and did a mini squeal, which was interrupted by a beep on Cass’s computer. She opened the interoffice message.

  “Harrington’s on his way up,” she whispered.

  All around them, people were scattering, putting away their coffee, breaking off conversations and pulling out paperwork, opening computer files, and doing their best to look busy.