by Karen Ferry
“First rule,” I murmur as I lean down to place a lingering kiss on her hip bone, “is to always use that stuff for backdoor play.”
“Are there many rules?” she whispers, jumping as I dip my tongue into her navel.
I look up as I keep peppering her body with soft kisses until I’m lying next to her.
“No,” I whisper and kiss the tip of her nose. “The most important one, though, is that if you feel uncomfortable in any way, you tell me to stop, and I will. Okay?”
She wraps her arm around my neck as I place my hand on her arse.
“Yes, Kristian.”
“Good.”
With that, I take her mouth with mine, pulling her closer until she’s flush against me. The room fills up with our low sighs and soft moans while we kiss for what seems like an eternity. I rub my cock against her stomach, needing some friction—needing to move—and I feel sweat gathering on my back at the restraint I have to keep on myself.
I open my eyes and catch hers when I reach for the lube above my head. Slowly, she nods, and at the sight of her heavy-lidded eyes, my cock leaks with pre-cum.
Quickly, I squirt a hefty amount of the lube out in my other hand before I reach down to take her nipple in my mouth. She lets out a long moan as I bite it gently before wiping away the sting with my tongue, and feeling emboldened by her reaction, I suck it harder. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch her lift her leg, placing it around my hip, and I groan when I feel her clit so fucking close to my cock.
I ignore the burning sensation in my lungs, concentrating solely on her, and reach for her clit, rubbing it slowly.
“I need to make sure you’re wild for me,” I whisper against her collarbone, breathing her in.
I feel her arm tighten around my neck, and I nip her gently before I swirl my index finger around her wetness and remove it from her centre, only to wander further back between her buttocks.
I feel her tense slightly, but hum deep in my throat while I suck on the sensitive skin behind her ear.
“Relax,” I try to soothe her with my words. “Think only about how I’m making you feel right now—not on where my hand is.”
I still my hand, resting just above her forbidden hole, and wait to apply any kind of pressure until I feel her body relax again. My lips are sore, burning from our kisses, but I can’t stop showing her how much I love her—how much her trust in me means to me—while I start to rub my slick index finger around her anus.
“What does it feel like?” I grunt against her shoulder.
I feel, more than hear, her catch her breath as I put a little more pressure on her entrance.
“Forbidden,” she gasps.
I smile and raise my head, smiling slowly at her.
“What else?”
She bites her lip as she pushes her arse closer to my finger, making me quirk an eyebrow at her. She’s almost ready.
“Tempting…and…”
“And?” I prompt, letting my finger slip further inside. I grit my teeth as she clamps down on it, and I still my cock against her stomach. I don’t want to come just yet.
“And,” she moans, “provocative.”
My finger slips further inside, all the way to my knuckle, and I groan at the tightness. I shuffle down the bed, needing to feel her wet pussy on my cock and as I fuck her gently in the arse, I revel in the way her body trembles hard against me.
“Still with me?” I ask her, needing to hear the words from her lips.
Her breath hitches.
“Yes, oh, God, yes. Don’t stop.”
I increase the pace and keep my eyes on her face, watching with rapt attention every flicker of her closed eyes. Her breath hitches as her hard nipples rub against my chest, and I grit my teeth as my cock head teases her clit.
“I need more,” she begs.
“You sure?” I grunt.
“Yes, baby, please. I want your cock inside me. I want you to fill me up and fuck the life out of me.”
The tether on my control finally slips, and my cock slips easily inside of her pussy, making me see stars as I spill my seed at the first touch. Frustrated, I pump inside of her, hoping to bring her pleasure, not caring in the least about myself.
Her hips meet my thrusts and I slam my mouth down on hers as I fuck her tight arse faster, swallowing her cries of ecstasy. My cock hardens again, and as she wrenches her mouth from mine, screaming my name as she comes, my movements grow erratic as I take her harder than I have before.
“Come, wildcat,” I grind out, “come on my cock.”
Wetness slips down my cock, and I look down, watching her swollen clit as I come for the second time, her name on my lips.
I still my finger as I rest my heavy head on her chest, our breaths puffing out loudly from both of us. My brain feels as if it’s been replaced with sand—I can’t think. I can’t see anything.
I can only feel and smell her all around me.
I barely manage to remove my finger gently from her arse and wipe it on the wet towel before I roll to my back, her on top of me, my arms refusing to loosen the tight hold around her waist. We lie in silence for some time—I don’t know for how long, but it doesn’t matter.
“Oh, my God,” she whispers, her head resting on my chest.
I smirk and nod.
“Oh, my God,” she repeats, her voice slightly louder.
I can’t help but grin at her reaction.
“I-I can’t speak.”
Male pride swells in my chest.
“Good, yes?”
“Fucking amazeballs,” she breathes.
I laugh more heartily at her.
Amazeballs? Who the fuck says stuff like that?
“If you feel this speechless and satisfied after just my finger,” I chuckle, and run a hand over her ruffled hair, “wait until I’ve fucked you in your arse with my cock, sweetheart.”
She hums as she kisses my chest.
“Mmm. I’ll be looking forward to that.”
My heart skips a beat as she astounds me again with the amount of sheer faith she puts in me.
I’ll never give her any reason not to. I’ll die first.
Laura
I hate having to get up from Kristian’s bed and go back to the real world.
I want his bed to be my world. I want to remain lying here in his arms forever.
But…I’m a mother first and last, and right now, I have a daughter who needs me.
“Your thoughts are so loud, they’re practically screaming at me,” Kristian murmurs sleepily.
I sigh lightly and raise my head.
“I have to go,” I apologise as I place my fingertips against his lips. So soft. So enticing. So maddening.
He smiles and mumbles, “I know.”
Nodding, I place one last kiss on his chest and slowly ease off him. I squeeze my inner walls as I try to stop his cum from slipping down between my legs, but if there was ever a less sexy thing to do, it is trying to look graceful as you waddle to the bathroom to clean up.
Still, I think I manage fairly well, and close the door to do my business in private.
Afterwards, I grab a hairband from the toilet bag I keep here and splash some water on my face. When I turn around, I sigh as I look at my wet underwear lying on the floor, frowning a little. I don’t want to put them on, but walking to the house in my sweaty riding clothes isn’t appealing, either.
“Crap,” I mutter and open the door to find Kristian sitting up in bed, talking to someone on his mobile.
“Ja, Mor, jeg har det fint,” he says and rolls his eyes at me when I frown at him in confusion. He moves his phone from his ear and mouths at me, “It’s my Mum”, clearing my confusion, before he turns his attention back to her.
I try to be as silent as possible as I move around the flat and pick up my clothes.
When Kristian raises his voice, I look at him in surprise.
It’s so bloody difficult to eavesdrop on someone when you don’t understand the language they s
peak, but judging from his turned-down lips and the tense look of his shoulders, the thought that he’s having some kind of argument with his mother enters my mind.
I turn my back on him as I shake out my flannel shirt and put it on, trying not to let on how curious I am. Kristian deserves his own space.
“Fuck,” he shouts behind me, startling me, and I glance at him over my shoulder.
The anger he shows doesn’t scare me, but the sadness in his eyes as he stares at me makes me feel as if I have to brace myself.
I wrap my arms around my middle as I straighten my back. He runs both his hands over his head as he blinks furiously, and I can almost feel my heart stop beating.
“Baby? What’s wrong?” I whisper.
“Laura, I…” he starts and breathes deeply before he tosses the blankets away and stands up from the bed. Heart lodged in my throat, I wait with bated breath for him to tell me what’s going on. My eyes follow every step he takes to the dresser, where he grabs a fresh set of black jeans and a white T-shirt and puts them on. Barefoot, he walks towards me, and my breath catches at the sight of anguish in his eyes as he looks down at me.
“Kristian?” I ask, really feeling scared now. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”
“Sweetheart,” he whispers, startling me at the ache I can hear in the husky rumble I’ve come to know and love.
“Just tell me,” I beg. “You’re freaking me out.”
He frames my face in his hands and automatically I raise my hands to hold on to his strong arms. I’m glad I do, because his next words pierce through my heart, leaving me battered and broken. Defeated and desolate.
“I have to leave you, Laura.” His voice breaks on my name. “I have to go home.”
32
Kristian
Bag in hand, I drag my feet as I walk slowly down the stairs of my flat at New Beginnings.
How ironic. I’ve felt so lost for a long time and now that I finally feel I’m exactly where I belong, I have to fucking leave.
It’s not even been twelve hours since my mum rang, and even though I haven’t left yet, the heartache tears through my soul already. It burns like acid, spluttering and oozing, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m abandoning my heart—my whole life—here.
Even though I haven’t seen my father in over a decade, I have to see him now before it’s too late.
I look up as I walk through the stables to go to the main house to say my goodbyes, and my eyes fall on Thunder as I realise he’s watching me. I stop in front of him. His intelligent, brown eyes look as sad as I feel, and, gingerly, I raise my hand and place it on his soft neck.
“This fucking sucks,” I mutter and rest my forehead against his warmth.
He blows softly, twisting his neck as he reaches down to nip at my jacket. I push past the burning in my throat and take a deep breath. I don’t know what it is about this horse, but I’m sad to leave him, too.
“Take care of my girls, boy.”
Trying to find the courage—even the desire—to get on my way kills me inside, but I must. Resolutely, I back away from the horse that’s come to mean a lot to me in such a short amount of time, and I head out into the soft drizzle falling from above. The morning seems peaceful, even when there’s a war raging inside me. Somehow, I feel like the elements should reflect my inner turmoil, but it’s like any other day.
Quiet. Cold, but not uncomfortable, despite it being the end of September already.
The taxi I’ve arranged to take me to the airport comes up the driveway, and I jerk my chin at the driver when I catch his eyes, signalling him to wait by the stables as I walk to the house.
When the front door opens, I frown, confused when all the ladies of the house come out to send me off. Ailith’s tear-stricken face sends another sharp pain through my heart. It’s almost too hard to bear.
“What’s all this?” I ask as I crouch down to meet her eyes. Her chin wobbles, making it almost impossible for me to hold the sharp intake of my breath inside. The utter sadness and hopelessness in her usually bright, sunny self, fill me with grief.
“Mummy said you’re go-going away,” she sniffles. “But I don’t understand why?! You promised you wouldn’t leave!” she cries.
Tears prick behind my eyes. I reach out for her hands and pull her gently down the last step and put my arms around her small frame.
“Shh, shh, girlie. I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have to. You know that, don’t you?”
Anger flares back at me, making her look exactly like her mum.
“Then why, Kristian? I don’t understand.”
I wet my lips as I glance up at Laura. Her eyes are red as if she’s been crying as much as Ailith, and I have to swallow the thickness in my throat to keep my own tears away.
“You haven’t told her?” I ask once I’ve found my voice again.
She crosses her arms in front of her.
“No. I thought it best you did.”
The flatness of her voice makes irritation seethe in my gut, but I don’t want to taint our goodbye with anger. To leave us both with memories of harsh words between us when there’s no reason to.
I sigh deeply and gaze into Ailith’s eyes, hoping I’m able to ease her heartache even for a little bit.
“My dad is sick, girlie,” I tell her slowly, weighing my words. “I have to go home and see him before…”
I can’t finish. A part of me wants to say, Fuck it, and ignore his dying wish, but there’s a good chance I’ll regret it if I do.
“But, you’ll come back?” Ailith’s hesitant question sends another wave of sadness through my heart. I lean closer towards her, making sure to keep her eyes locked with mine.
“Yes,” I whisper. “I’ll come back.” I glance back at Laura. “My life is here now. Of course I’ll come back.”
When Ailith wraps her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly, I breathe in her sweetness, hoping it won’t be long until I see her smiling brightly at me again.
“You’re my home,” I whisper into her ear before I press a quick kiss to her temple. “I swear I’ll come home as fast as I can.”
She sniffles once, nodding against my shoulder, before I reluctantly let her go. As I straighten my back, I give her a small smile and then take a step towards Laura.
Placing my hands in the back pocket of my jeans, I wish I could say everything my heart is screaming at me to say to this strong woman who means more than the world to me.
Tell me to stay.
Marry me.
Be mine.
But…the words remain hidden, lodged in my throat. Instead, I shuffle my feet and nod once at Wenn. The sympathy in her eyes makes me realise how much I’ll miss her as well.
“Take care of my girls?” I ask her.
She smiles gently at me and grabs Ailith’s hand in hers, squeezing it. I can’t bring myself to look at my girl for too long, or I’ll never go. And I have to.
“Always, lad. You just do what you have to do and get back to us when you can.”
I turn my head to Laura, still feeling utterly hopeless at the dull look in her eyes. Where’s the sparkle? The fiery passion? Where is she?
“Come, Ailith,” Wenn’s voice breaks my thoughts and I raise my eyes at them, “let’s give your mum and Kristian a bit of privacy.”
Before she passes me, she gives me a one-armed hug, and with a small wave from Ailith, they leave us alone.
“So,” I blow out a long exhale and straighten my back, “aren’t you going to kiss me goodbye?”
Laura’s head snaps to me, and I gasp softly at the heartache shining back at me now. Panic hits me in my heart when she starts to shake her head, and I take a step closer and wrap my arms around her waist. Almost desperate, I yank her towards me as the need to feel her close to me flares up, setting my own skin on fire. Her back is as stiff as a board, and I huff, frustrated that she won’t melt into my arms like she usually does.
“Don’t do this,” I beg on a broken whisper, t
he breaths of our lips blending together, we’re that close. “Don’t deny me one more taste, sweetheart. I can’t bear it.”
“I don’t think I can,” she whispers, her voice as uneven as mine.
I shake her a little, overwhelmed with agony.
“This is not a forever goodbye, wildcat,” I growl. “If you even think that for a second, I’m going to spank that pretty arse of yours until you won’t be able to sit still for a week. You hear me?”
“What?!” Her eyes widen, no doubt shocked I’d even suggest such a thing. “How dare you? Just go, Kristian. Let me go cry in peace, okay? I’m barely holding on, and you delaying like this?” She pushes my arms, but I refuse to loosen my tight hold on her. “Ugh,” she puffs.
“Why won’t you listen to me?” I mutter. “I’ll be back before you know it. Why do you refuse to believe that? Why?”
Tears spill down her cheeks and I rest my forehead on hers. Her anguish shatters me.
“Because it hurts, Kristian,” she sobs, her small body trembling violently in my arms. I strengthen my hold, trying to hold all the pieces wrapped up in my arms.
“It hurts like nothing ever has before. And…” Her breath hitches as she blinks through her tears. “And I’m afraid.”
“Tell me why,” I beg.
“I…I wrote you a letter last night,” she starts, only confusing me even further. She leans away from me and pulls out a long, wrinkled envelope from her back pocket and hands it to me. I hesitate for a beat, but then take it carefully from her outstretched hand. It feels like I’m holding a live snake between my fingers.
“Why? Is this a Dear John letter?” I snap. “Because I will fucking not accept that.”
Laura shakes her head and I feel slightly mollified at the loving way her eyes roam my face.
“It’s not. Promise me you won’t read it until you’re up in the air?” she breathes.
“Laura…,” I start, but she silences my protest and puts her index finger over my lips.
