by Casey Diam
“I’m not going on a date with you.”
“It isn’t a date. It’s a club. Everyone’s going. Ask Lisa about it. It’s going to be epic.” Miller grinned. “And, if you so happen to be there, just save me a dance. That’s all I want. One dance.”
“One dance?”
“Yep. Promise.”
Lisa had been great, and Caleb had been not so much with his not-so-subtle avoidance of me, so I considered what Miller was asking. I was almost twenty, and for the first time in almost five years, I felt like I was normal. Well, as normal as one could call a person who was planning on trolling a killer. But, anyway, this was what normal nineteen-year-olds did, right? They spent time with friends, not hiding inside in fear of attention, in fear of being recognized or being found by predators lurking in the dark.
“You okay there?” Miller asked, bringing his beer bottle to his lips.
“Yeah, I just...uh, I’ll think about it.”
I moved around him and to the bar and kept my eyes off the stage, wishing I could block out the sound of Caleb’s consuming voice seeping into my soul from the speakers. But I couldn’t, and as I listened to the words he sang, it was as if he were speaking to me, telling me something no one else in the audience would understand.
“You can’t save me now, but I can save you.
Fallen angels don’t make it through.
This is your chance...
Because when you’ve got nothing to lose.
Baby, that hope,
It will destroy you.”
If he was trying to tell me something, I didn’t understand. I had hope and I didn’t need saving. Alex Connor would get what he deserved.
I would make sure of it.
Chapter Ten
Caleb
I stood at the door to my brother’s suite, cracking my knuckles.
For a second, I couldn’t remember why I was doing this, why I was here. It was a Saturday night, and if he wasn’t already high, he was getting there. I hoped he was getting there.
Inhaling, I counted to three, let the air slowly compress out of my lungs, and then knocked.
The door swung open, and for the first time, I really looked at him. Besides the five o’clock shadow I wore all the time and him always being clean-shaven, we had the same black hair, and as of recently, he’d forgone his usual buzz cut, making our similarities even more apparent with his dark eyes and light-beige skin tone. The only real difference was the few inches I had on him in height and build.
“Need something?” Brad asked.
“We need to talk,” I said, forcing myself into his suite.
The image of Sophia Cruz’s body on the couch a few weeks ago hit me along with guilt. It shouldn’t have happened, but Brad had been molded to be this person, as had I. I turned around to face him as he closed the door and leaned against it. His body did a small twitch before he reached up and scratched his neck.
“Make it quick. I got shit to do.”
Good, he was getting there. It would be easier to reason with him while he was on edge. Because, in this small window, it meant he was stuck with his true self. The addict desperate for his next fix.
Gauging his mood before I said anything would be even better, but with Brad, there was no baseline. If he was happy, he became impulsive and evil, and if he was gloomy, he was evil. It always led back to being evil. It made no fucking sense. Though it did when Alex Connor was one’s main influence in life. Somewhere inside me, I wanted to have hope for Brad and myself, but I couldn’t.
His mind was weaker than mine, and if I could reach him in the depths of that darkness, we could stop everything. The kidnapping, the killing, the abusing. I could try to do it by myself, but the truth was, I couldn’t. Alex Connor was smart. Only a few of his men knew enough to be of any help to me or the cops. Brad was one of those few. He knew where the bodies were being buried. He knew where anything that could form a case against Connor would be, and if I could get Brad to cooperate, we could uproot enough evidence to have the upper hand against Connor. An upper hand was the only leverage to my freedom, and I planned to get it by any means necessary, but I would rather have cooperation from Brad. It would make everything easier, and easier meant Paige wouldn’t have to get involved.
“What if I told you something that would change everything we’d ever believed?”
Brad cocked his head to the side. “Like?”
If he could feel anything inside the stone on the left side of his chest, this would be the time. I hadn’t been alone in this for all these years. He’d been right there with me. And knowing we’d been lied to all these years, that the twenty-one-year-old man before me was my real brother, I had to try for him, for us.
“We’re related. Not just adopted. You’re my brother, and Alex Connor is our biological father. We weren’t adopted.”
He narrowed his eyes, but not before I saw a flicker of anger in them. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“And how do you know this?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
“So, it had nothing to do with the nurse you came in here with at three in the morning last week?”
Fuck.
He read the surprise on my face.
“That nurse won’t live to see the end of tonight. Hint, the I got shit to do.”
He smirked and pushed off the door, but he didn’t get very far because I reacted without thinking, shoving my hand around his throat and pushing him back against the door so hard that it vibrated on contact.
With my teeth gritted, I hissed, “Don’t you fucking dare.”
“I might be a crackhead and younger, but I’m always ahead, Caleb. Now, get the fuck out before I make you.”
“She had nothing to do with this. If you touch her, I swear to God, I’ll be turning you in. I’m fucking done.”
Brad shifted, and we whirled around as he slammed my back against the door. “Did you just say what I think you did? Because, if so, you’re fucking done, Caleb.”
I pushed him off me and swallowed, shaking my head. “Fuck you.”
He fished a small, black flip phone out of his sweatpants, and my heart plunged as he pressed a button and said, “Call A.C.”
Visions of the room Connor kept me in when I didn’t follow orders overtook my mind. Starting with the taste of blood on my lips from a broken nose, the pain in my chest from a broken rib or a few—I never found out. Then the darkness and silence. That was the worst of it because it was then everything replayed in my head—the rape, the murder.
“Brad, don’t.”
The phone was on speaker and ringing. He looked up. “What are you most scared of right now? That nurse dying for helping you, or you being locked away in A.C.’s house for a while?”
“Hello?” Alex Connor’s voice echoed.
“We need to change the drop-off. Something came up.” Brad grinned, and I stopped breathing. The pressure on my chest was more threatening than a close-range gunshot. My throat dried as I shook my head in a silent plea. “It’s more like a rat problem. Anyway, call me back when you have a new spot.”
He ended the call.
“You’re my brother. You’d do this to me even knowing that? Support the man who’s lied you, lied to me, all our lives?”
Ignoring me, he walked to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of eye drops from a drawer. His cocaine, I was sure. He unscrewed the cap and tapped a line of white powder onto the counter before him.
“What did you expect, big brother? Hugs and apologies for what I did to you over the years?” He bent, and with one long inhale, the whole line disappeared from the counter. He tossed his head back and sniffed again before using a thumb and index finger to tweak his nose. He looked at me. “The thing is, Caleb, I wasn’t lied to. You were. I’ve known for years. I just never gave a shit. I still don’t. Now, if you want me to do a brotherly favor, I think I can forget this whole turning me in thing, but only if you do something for me.”
I shook m
y head in disbelief. I’d rather get in a fight with a bear and go to jail for everything they’d set me up to take the fall for than do something for him, but I humored him. “What?”
“Introduce me to your friend.”
“What?” I asked, confused.
“The blonde girl the cop saw you with that night in the car and the one you snuck out of this same building. I want to meet her.”
“Why?”
“I’m curious, and you don’t have to introduce me. But then I can always tell Connor what you’ve been doing. And I’m going to take a wild guess and say that you’ve been gathering evidence against him.”
My heart pounded in my chest, fighting against the calm I exuded. “I just wanted to know who my family was; that was all,” I said, hoping he’d forget about the girl. Because no way in hell would I ever bring Paige straight into the lion’s den.
“Right, well, if you were a real Connor, you’d know all we cared about was money, opportunity, cheating whores, and more money. Anyway, the girl.”
I could introduce some random girl to him to get him off my case. It wasn’t like he’d seen her face or met any of my friends. As far as he knew, I didn’t have friends. But as I was about to agree, I thought about Stacy Lenard.
“What are you going to do with the nurse?”
He smiled. “Play with her for a little bit. Can’t send her to hell before I fuck her, now can I?”
I inhaled and shook my head. “There’s no way in hell I’m introducing you to anyone.” I walked to the door. “I’d rather die. I’d rather go back to the fucking room than have you kill another innocent person.”
“So sensitive,” Brad yelled after me. “Have some coke. It takes the edge off. I’ll give you a few days to think about it. Don’t take too long, though, because I could always just put a team on you until I find the girl, take her, and then tell Alex what you’ve been up to. If you love your privacy and freedom of not sleeping here, then give me what I want, and I’ll let you have that. That’s my offer. Sweet deal if you ask me.”
It was a sweet deal. If Brad kept his mouth shut, I’d have time to get some leads on what they were up to. It wasn’t like they were going to stop what they were doing in the wake of Paige going missing. I could just try to get new evidence on everything they were doing or planning to do from this point forward.
As the plan became clearer, I sighed for dramatic effect. “If I introduce you to my friend, will you leave her alone?”
“Of course.” He chuckled. “What am I going to do? Kill her?”
Biting my lip, I grabbed the doorknob. Trying to be reasonable with him was obviously a mistake.
“I’m joking, idiot. What are you scared of? That she’ll like me more than you?”
I turned around. “I’m not introducing you to anyone unless I have your word that you won’t do anything to hurt her.”
His face grew serious, and I almost felt like I could trust him as he nodded. “You have my word.”
With that, I left, desperate to see Paige.
Over the past days, she and I had gotten into a better place. I’d stopped avoiding her as much, and we’d become comfortable around each other again. I’d even started to lean my head on her shoulder the few times I needed to after a long day. Most times were while we were watching a movie. It was a simple connection. It wasn’t like her being in my arms, but still, it was enough to keep me centered.
Ever since I’d met her, she’d been the axis to my world. Not having her would be like a spinning top without its pointed tip, an earth without its axis. And, tonight, I needed my axis. I needed to be centered again.
When I got back to the condo, no one was home, which was weird since it was almost midnight.
Switching on the lights, I threw my keys onto the breakfast bar. I knew Calvin would go out some nights, but not Paige. At least, not without my knowing. I wanted to text her or Calvin, but I knew if he wasn’t here either, then she was in good hands.
I walked to the cupboard in the kitchen and pulled out a tumbler, then set it under the ice maker until a few cubes fell in. I grabbed the unopened bottle of Jack Daniel’s sitting on top of the fridge and poured. And then I poured some more because tonight was a drinking night. Tonight, I didn’t want to control how much I drank.
Without my axis to keep me centered, without sex to distract me, without anyone to distract me for that matter, I needed something to take the edge off, and that something was Jack.
When I was four glasses deep into the amber liquor, the elevator came up. Something opened up in my chest that I didn’t understand. But only Calvin budged around the corner from the foyer.
I lifted my head as he walked forward.
“Where’s Paige?”
“She’s with Lisa. Ryan’s with them.”
“Oh.” I frowned, sliding the glass across the counter before lifting it to my lips.
“Lisa mentioned going to a club, so I thought I’d check it out, but I had to meet someone first. What are you doing tonight besides trying to finish a bottle of Jack by yourself? Rob is waiting outside in his car, so I’m sure there’s a full moon tonight. Come out with us. You look like you could use it. I just came up to get my—”
“Is that where Paige is—a club with Lisa?”
“Yeah.”
I squinted. “Paige is partying?”
“Told you, full moon. But, yeah, I guess so.” His lips flattened. “I think she’s coming around. I didn’t even recognize her tonight.”
❧
When we got to the two-story club, the line was stretched along the building for almost a block, but Luke had a part-time security position at the club, so he came to the front and got us inside.
With the music beating in my chest and the crowd screaming and dancing around, I tried to seek out Paige, and then my heart stopped. The girl I saw on the dance floor in a tight red dress wasn’t Paige. Well, she was Paige, just not my Paige. My Paige wore gym clothes all day, every day if she wasn’t in jeans. She didn’t wear red lipstick, and she didn’t curl her hair so that it bounced about her shoulders and collarbone as she danced. My eyes moved to the drink she brought to her lips and then to Lisa and Amber. All three of them were attracting attention from the men all around, lurking on the sidelines, but they paid no attention to anyone else besides each other, the drinks, and the music.
Calvin clapped me on the shoulder and yelled over the music. “Told you. Let’s hit the bar unless you want to go say hi.”
Seeing her like this forced me to wonder if this were the girl she would have been if Alex Connor hadn’t infiltrated her life.
Happy. Free.
It’s all I want for her.
“Nah, let’s go to the bar.”
For the next hour, I stayed by the bar and away from Paige, though I let my eyes wander over to her from time to time while trying my best not to seem like one of the creepers on the sidelines. I’d had too much to drink, and each time I looked over to her, all I saw was us together. I couldn’t stop the memories. My hands roaming over her body the first night she had been in my bed, my fingers curling inside her warmth, her perfect breasts in my face and my mouth, and her coming apart beneath me for the first time.
I looked over to the spot where she was still dancing. Miller approached her from behind, and the hair at the back of my neck bristled as he wrapped an arm around her waist. This time, when I saw red, it wasn’t her dress. She started moving, looking like some seductress as she rubbed herself against him. Was she drunk? Did she even know who she was dancing with?
His hands slid down low on her hips as he ground against her.
“What the fuck?”
“Don’t do it,” Calvin said.
I shook my head. “He’s fucking dead.”
He seduced girls and tossed them to the side without a second thought, and I would be damned if he even got the chance to do the same to Paige. The next thing I knew, I was standing in front of Paige, grabbing her arm and yanking her
toward me. Miller stepped forward, and I released Paige, shifting her behind me. The next second, I was in his face.
Low and menacing, I warned, “Stay away from her. If you hurt one piece of hair on her head, I will personally break every fucking bone in your body.”
He made a show of smirking and rolling his eyes the same time he was about to shove me, but I saw it coming. I caught his arms and shoved him back into the crowd behind him.
“Caleb, what are you doing?” Paige shrieked.
Ryan stepped between Miller and me, but I was ready for Miller to come back at me. I needed a reason to unleash everything boiling inside me, so I pushed Ryan to the side. Before I could reach Miller, Calvin’s larger frame blocked me, but I still moved forward, trying to force him out of my way with my body.
“Caleb,” Calvin said.
I was too heated and ready to do anything to punch that fucker in the face. Paige wasn’t just any woman he could screw over. She was—
I cursed as Luke joined Calvin.
“Dude, you can’t do this here, or I’ll have to kick you out.”
Turning around, my eyes zeroed in on Paige. “What the fuck are you doing with him?”
“Dancing.”
“Is that what it was? Because from where I was, it looked like you were practically having sex on the dance floor,” I snapped. “I didn’t take your virginity for you to start fucking assholes like him.”
Her eyes widened, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard Calvin’s voice filtering through the thoughts racing through my head.
“Caleb, stop.”
“Really? And how much better are you?” She shook her head.
I looked away from her for the first time to the crowd gathered around us.
What did I do? What did I just say? Fuck. I don’t even recognize myself right now.
My friends and anyone within hearing range had just found out something that should have been special between Paige and me, and I would never be able to take that back.
I looked back to Paige, but she was already leaving, making her way through the crowd with Lisa, and the douche bag Miller was right on their heels, but I let her go. I had to. Even if I didn’t want anyone else to have her. And, fuck, it hurt, more than everything else going on in my life. I’d never felt pain like this. Like my fucking chest was crushing my organs. I didn’t even fucking understand it. All I knew was that I needed to drink more.
