by Casey Diam
“Hey, where’d everyone go?”
I looked to my left and saw Amber looking confused with two red cocktails in hand.
I reached for one and plucked out the straw before I chugged it. “Your friends are gone.”
Chapter Eleven
Paige
“Are you sure you’re okay here?” Lisa asked.
Looking over my shoulder into Caleb’s studio apartment, I nodded. “Yeah. I can’t see him tonight.”
I knew he would come looking for me after the club, and I couldn’t deal with him, not with the way he’d acted tonight and not with all the memories he’d triggered with his words.
“Okay, but if you need anything, call me.”
She wrapped her arms around me, and I relaxed into her embrace, not realizing how much I’d needed it. My gaze went over her shoulder to Rob, who’d come back from walking around the apartment. Lisa didn’t know what he had been doing, but I did. He was checking to make sure it was safe for me, and I was so grateful in this moment that my heart couldn’t decide if it wanted to remain upset over what Caleb had done or be happy that he’d brought these people into my life.
Forcing a smile to my lips, I pulled away from Lisa. “You really didn’t have to leave with me, but thank you. Rob, can you make sure she gets home safe?”
He nodded, and after I closed the door behind them, I slipped off the pair of heels I’d borrowed from Lisa and padded around the apartment. Rob had checked it, but I had to see for myself that no one else was here. So, I opened all the closets and kitchen cupboards because no place was too small for someone to hide. I knew it was stupid every time I did it, but I had to. It was the only way I could ease the tension enough to feel safe inside.
After taking a hot shower, I wrapped myself in a towel and went to the closet. Since I’d taken the few clothes I had to the condo, I found one of Caleb’s white T-shirts in the duffel bag he’d left inside the closet.
I tugged it over my head and then laid out a towel on the pillow to keep my damp hair from soaking into it. After that was done, I walked into the kitchen, opened the drawer holding all the knives, and took the biggest one out. Setting it on the floor next to the bed, I lay down, taking a few long, deep breaths.
I hadn’t slept a night without Caleb or Calvin around in a while, and I could feel my body tensing, knowing I’d be alone tonight.
Before my mind started to play out different scenarios that would have me up and pacing the apartment and checking the closets and cupboards again, I clicked on my phone and pulled up YouTube. Then I watched back-to-back episodes of Kim Possible until I was falling asleep.
Or I had been asleep.
The sound of a lock rattling amplified my senses. It must be what had woken me up. At the sound of the apartment door opening, my heart skipped a beat, and I jumped out of the bed. Grabbing the knife, I ran to the wall and plastered myself against it. I’d played out a scenario like this in my mind a thousand times before. I couldn’t be seen from the front in this position. There was no way I was going to run into the closet or bathroom where I could be trapped.
Taking in some measured breaths to calm my heart rate, I watched as the light from the hallway drifted inside the apartment and the shadow of two people moved inside. I clutched the shaking knife to my chest. And, with the deafening blood rushing to my ears, I kept my eyes open wide, scared I might miss something if I blinked.
One of the shadows stumbled against the much taller one, and then a loud, girlish giggle echoed.
“Oh my God, turn on the lights!”
“Wait, I’m trying,” a male voice slurred.
Caleb?
I peeked around the corner as the lights came on.
Caleb and Amber were standing in the living room.
Feeling a sudden rush of nausea and a deep-slicing pain throughout my chest, I pressed myself back against the wall, unsure of what to do with myself as I lowered the knife to my side.
“Amber, come on.”
She giggled. “What? You used to like it.”
“I know, but—”
“I want you on my tongue, in my mouth. A party favor for old time’s sake? You know you want to.”
“You’re already doing me a favor.”
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t think.
All I felt was pain. I looked down to make sure I hadn’t stabbed myself. Because it was like the knife I was holding was digging into my chest. I opened my mouth to draw in a trembling breath, but the air clogged in my throat and sent another cutting pain through me.
Hurrying to the bed, I set the knife on the nightstand and grabbed my phone from the sheets. When I looked up, Caleb was looking at me over Amber’s head. She was pressed against him, her hands somewhere between them.
Oh my God. Oh my God. I can’t—
Why does it hurt? Why does it hurt?
“Paige?” Caleb asked.
I realized I was frozen in place, just staring.
“Paige?” Amber turned around. “What are you doing here?”
The casualness of her voice, like this was normal for them, speared me. Was this why he’d kept the apartment? Had he been coming here with her since we moved? Was this why he didn’t want me anymore?
“Paige,” Caleb said again, pushing Amber away.
She stumbled back with her mouth agape.
I shook my head, hurrying to the door. He intercepted me, and the strong scent of liquor radiated from him as he grabbed my arm for the second time that night. It was a tight grip. I didn’t think he realized he was even doing it. But I’d become used to aggression with the fighters over the years, so I didn’t care, because the small pain it inflicted grounded me. If not, I would have freaked out. And if I freaked out, I would have done something stupid. And stupid was not for me to do, not when he wasn’t...he wasn’t mine.
“Don’t, Paige. It isn’t what it looks like.” Caleb said. “She’s only doing me a favor.”
“I...yeah, it doesn’t matter.” I chanced a look at him and found his eyes were dark and haunted like the first time he’d let me see this side of him, the day we’d met inside that café.
I couldn’t think about that.
This was something else entirely.
Staring down at me and making no attempt to put his walls back up, he jerked his head. “Don’t say that.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter. Why would it?” It does matter. God, it matters. “I’m leaving. I need to go.”
“No, it’s three in the morning.”
“Well, I’m not staying here.” I yanked my hand away.
He grabbed me from behind, and I flinched, not wanting him to touch me. Amber was here, and things were about to happen between them, things I couldn’t let myself think about.
“Don’t touch me.”
He released me. “Paige, you can’t go.”
“I’m going.” I pursed my lips, grabbing the doorknob.
“You’re only in a T-shirt, and you have no shoes.”
I looked down as my grip tightened around the lock. He was right. I was only in his stupid T-shirt. I stuffed my feet into the black pumps I’d had on earlier and pulled the door open. I didn’t care what I was wearing. I just needed to get away from here and these emotions. I shouldn’t feel like this. We hadn’t even been together that long.
But damn it...it freaking hurts.
“Paige, don’t. It isn’t safe.” I heard the pain in his voice, but I ignored it. “Stay here. I’ll leave, okay? Just stay here. I’ll leave.”
“I can’t.”
“Fuck,” he sounded desperate. “Just call one of the guys. Please.”
“Paige, I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” Amber said for the first time, and I couldn’t even look at her. “I thought you guys...”
It wasn’t that I was upset with her because I didn’t have a claim on him, but I was jealous because she had what I wanted.
I started down the hallway to the elevator, and Caleb followed.
“Don’t follow me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, you aren’t, Caleb. You’ve been pushing me away. Then you threatened someone who was actually interested in me. Yet, now you’re here with her.” I pointed down the hall behind him, shaking my head as I repeatedly pressed the elevator button.
“I’m not with her. Paige, baby—”
“Don’t call me that, and I don’t wanna—I can’t see you right now. Just go away.” I stared at the button as I pressed it. “Please, just go back to her. She’s waiting for you.”
He stood there behind me, and I could feel all his energy seeping into me. Anger. Confusion. Torment. The elevator doors slid open, and I stepped inside, keeping my eyes glued to the floor.
“Just take this.” He pushed a hand inside his jeans pocket and handed me his wallet.
“What—”
“In case you need a cab, or I don’t know.”
The small purse I’d carried earlier with my ID and cash was still inside the room.
Shit.
I reached out and took his wallet. When my eyes met his, my heart split in two. Caleb was hurting, and there was nothing I could do about it but watch him walk back down the hall to Amber.
The elevator doors closed, and I let the tears fall.
Chapter Twelve
Caleb
Tapping my fingers on the table in the coffee shop to some unknown beat in my head, I worried my lip between my teeth. Amber sat in front of me, a cappuccino in one hand and her phone in the other.
“He’s too late.” Amber grimaced. “I’m sorry. I can’t stay. I have to be at work in thirty minutes.”
I nodded and looked up at her. “It’s fine. Thank you.”
She gave me a closed-lip smile and stood. “And last night was fun until, uh...I’m sorry again.”
“Stop apologizing. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Yeah, but now, she’ll never forgive me, and I wanted to be her friend.”
“You will be if you really want to. Just be honest with her. She doesn’t blame you,” I told her because, knowing Paige, I was sure Amber was more on her good side than I was.
She smiled. “Okay. See you around.”
I stayed at the table for a few minutes after Amber left and clicked on my phone.
Nothing from Brad.
Ryan was keeping his eyes on Amber in case she was being followed after leaving here, and he hadn’t confirmed if she was. But I had a weird sensation crawling up my spine, as if I were being watched.
Why would Brad want to meet any of my friends?
The answer was that he wouldn’t.
Which only brought me to, he wanted to see if I would do it, if I actually had a friend like the officer described. That meant this was a test, and he was here. Just not in person. I did a quick scan of the various faces inside the café, not recognizing any as my father’s men or anyone who might even look suspicious.
Since he wasn’t here and Amber was already gone, there was little point in staying, so I pushed to my feet and tossed the rest of my coffee in a garbage container outside. Then I walked into the shop next door and bought a burner phone.
I kept a phone for my father and Brad, separate from the phone I used to communicate with Paige and the guys, but if I was going to try to get in contact with Stacy Lenard, who may or may not be missing, I couldn’t have it being tracked back to any of my phones.
After fifteen minutes of walking in no particular direction, I stopped at a store selling musical instruments. Removing the new phone from my pocket, I dialed the number I’d used to get in contact with the nurse that night, but it went straight to voice mail.
Fuck.
I sent a text to Calvin, who was posted outside her apartment building.
Me: Anything?
Calvin: Nah.
Then, I messaged Ryan.
Me: Anything?
Ryan: Besides Amber’s sexy ass in those jeans, nope.
I messaged Calvin again.
Me: I’m going to check the hospital.
Calvin: Not the smartest one here, but that’s a bad idea.
I knew that. But I couldn’t face Paige, knowing that I was responsible for this happening. That I shouldn’t have risked going to my brother’s room that night. How would I even tell her someone else might die and that it was all my fault?
I messaged Luke.
Me: Hey, can you go to the hospital and see what you can find out without being too direct? Maybe find an assistant or volunteer to help.
Luke: Yeah. I can be there in thirty.
Calvin: Go talk to my new bestie. That was a dick move, dude.
I didn’t know if he was talking about the dick move of telling everyone I had taken Paige’s virginity or Paige finding me in the arms of his frenemy. Though something told me he had no idea about the Amber part.
Me: I will.
I left the music store and retraced my steps to a bookstore I’d walked by a few minutes ago. When I opened the door, a bell jingled overhead, and I saw a woman by the counter, dressed casually and speaking on the phone. As I neared, I realized she wasn’t that old. In fact, she was around my age, black hair wrapped in a huge knot on top of her head.
She hung up the phone and turned to me.
“Good morning. I’m sorry to bother you, but I need your help.”
She gave me a broad smile. “It’s no bother at all. What can I do for you?”
I observed her for a moment. She looked so familiar. She was slightly overweight, and the plumpness of her cheeks pinked as I stared. I smiled, wishing she had a nametag I could use to identify her as I searched my memory bank.
“I’m looking for suggestions. Your best romantic comedy novels.”
I continued to discreetly watch her as I picked five of the ten books she’d suggested. Stripping a bill from the few I had left in my pocket, I paid for the books.
When she placed the books in a bag and handed them to me, I said, “Thanks, uh...”
“Mackenzie.”
“Mackenzie, thank you.”
It was her. Paige’s best friend from high school. Did Paige know that she worked here in the city?
❧
“You have to tell her,” Calvin said when I got back to the condo a few hours later.
“She’s mad at me.” I hung the bag of books on Paige’s doorknob since Calvin said she was out with Lisa.
And, fuck, I missed her.
I missed touching her, holding her, and seeing her. She was the only one who could soothe this ache in my chest. The axis of my world. Even though we lived in the same unit, I felt millions of miles away from her if I wasn’t touching her to form some kind of connection.
“But it’s one of her best friends from high school. That’s like how you and I reunited.”
I frowned at the memory. Calvin and I had only known each other for a year when Alex Connor enrolled me in public school. He’d sent me there as a test to see how I’d do if I wasn’t constrained to the house, but I had failed that test. So, I hadn’t gotten to see Calvin again until I was seventeen when I had the freedom to find him. This was nothing like that.
“She ran away from all of it. You didn’t see her when she went back to that house, dude. She was—” The sound of the elevator being called to our floor had my heart racing. I missed her, but with this guilt festering inside me, I wasn’t ready to confront her. “I’ll be in my room.”
I listened at my door as Paige came inside, her voice drawing closer.
“Calvin?”
“Yeah?”
“Did you put these here?”
“Yeah, I, uh...yeah. Hope you like them,” Calvin answered.
He was the worst person to tell anything I didn’t want Paige to know.
“You’re such a liar,” she said, her voice a caress to the tension in my core.
I shouldn’t like that she had the power to do this to me, but I couldn’t hate it either.
I grabbed my guitar from its faithful
corner in my room, and sitting on the balcony overlooking the Quincy Bay, I played for hours. Only this time, as I played, I thought about Olivia Sawyer, my mother. I didn’t know anything about her, and I still didn’t know if she was alive. But, as my thumb idled over the guitar strings, I felt this strong connection to her, to my uncle, to everything I never had, to everything that had been taken away from me.
Normalcy. Affection.
I craved it, but I didn’t deserve it.
I paused, and my thoughts wandered to Tom. He’d given me information the night they almost got to Paige. But if he knew Connor was my real father, I wondered if he also knew what had happened to my mother? Because, if Bailey’s facts were straight when she told Paige that Olivia had disappeared the same time I had, it meant Alex Connor had taken me away from her. I didn’t care if he’d done what I feared. I just needed to know what had happened.
Chapter Thirteen
Paige
Lisa was in my room, trying on the new outfit she’d purchased at the mall—a sleeveless orange cotton summer dress reaching her mid-thigh. With her long black hair and olive skin tone, she was practically glowing in that dress. She had a date tonight—well, not a date. A casual affair. She was much like Amber when it came to how casual they each were about sex. And, with my lack of experience in that department, it was starting to become an educational experience and less and less embarrassing when she said things like what she said next.
“You don’t know what it’s like to get your hopes up. That you’re finally going to have the best sex of your life, only for it to end as the worst sex of your life. All I want is good sex. Why is that so hard to find?”
“At least you’re having sex.” The words from my thoughts fell from my lips before I could stop them.
But the more she talked about sex, the more my body craved it, and even though I was mad at Caleb for sleeping with Amber—or not sleeping with Amber—I wanted to go to his room so he could have his way with me.
