Hope (Things That Matter Book 2)

by Casey Diam

  “But you...how do I know it’s you? And does this mean that you weren’t missing?” Bailey asked.

  “It’s me. You’re going to have to trust me. I would show you my ID, but I was given a different identity. My Social Security number will only be traced to the person my father adopted and raised—Caleb Connor. And my ID leads to a Caleb Sheppard.”

  I stared at the café before us. “Paige seems to trust you, and she doesn’t give that freely. So, I’m going to trust her instincts about you. The first thing you need to know is that my father is the man you want. He has businesses both here and in New York. I work at Luxe in downtown Boston, but I also oversee four condominiums in New York. He is smart. His men are smart. You go after him, and you will find nothing.”

  I looked at her. “You see where this is going. He’s the man who put the hit on Paige’s family. He views Paige as a loose end and he won’t let it go because she keeps getting away. If he gets his hands on her, she isn’t going to be so lucky again. She has been on his radar for too long. That is why you can’t involve her. It’s too dangerous for her. But you have me now. The only thing I’m asking for in return besides keeping Paige out of this is my birth certificate. I already know who my father is, but I know nothing about my mother.”

  “I told Paige your grandparents still call—”

  “She told me. She also told me my mother’s name is Olivia Sawyer. But I need proof. After everything I’ve discovered over the past few weeks, mere words don’t do it for me anymore. I need solid proof, and I don’t want my grandparents involved.” Enough of my family had died. I would be an idiot to show up on their doorstep just so I could add them to that list.

  “Okay, I can get that for you.”

  “Thank you. Now, let’s talk about the reason I’m here,” I said, getting back on track as to why I’d sought her out today. “There’s a nurse who’s gone missing. Her name is Stacy Lenard. I don’t know where they have her, but if my instincts are right, she could be in trouble.”

  “What makes you think this nurse is missing or in trouble?”

  “Because of my father and what he’s capable of making disappear. My brother also made it obvious when he came into my office today and told me that they have her. My fault really. I asked her to do something she shouldn’t have done to help me. But it’s possible I could find out what is happening to her since my brother said my father wants to see me this weekend.”

  “Your brother?”

  “Yes. I’ll explain everything later because I’m sure you have a lot of questions and doubts. But right now, you need to think of colleagues who can help. You won’t be able to do this alone. Your boss works for my father, so that’s already a no-go.”

  “You mean, the deputy superintendent? Rodriguez?”

  I nodded.

  “Paige mentioned it, and I do have another way.”

  Taking her mindfulness as a good sign, I continued, “He’s meticulous about what he does, and the only way you’ll be able to find any of his locations is by putting a tracking device in me.” I didn’t need to spell out the definition of locations. That would come later.

  “If what you’re telling me is true about your father, are you willing to put him in jail?”

  “His name is Alex Connor, and I’m willing to put all of us in jail. Weren’t you listening?”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Paige

  It was ten at night, and I was watching a show in the living room when I heard the elevator’s arrival. Calvin was in his room, and the only light in the open space was the flashes of blue coming from the television mounted on the wall above the fireplace. Caleb stepped around the corner, still dressed in his three-piece black suit.

  He stopped as our eyes met in the dim lighting. “Hey.”

  “Hi.”

  He kicked off his dress shoes right where he stood, and then his jacket went next, falling to and hitting the floor without a sound. This was the fourth time he’d done this since we moved to this condo, and it was so hot. Like he was undressing for me. As he walked to me, he tugged on his tie to loosen it. The few times he’d done this before was right before he rested his head on my shoulder. So, the thought that we were back on solid ground had my heart racing because I loved when he leaned on me. We weren’t dating, hooking up, or anything for that matter, but I loved being there for him. I wanted him to lean on me.

  Tonight though, I wanted him to do more. I missed his touch so much that, as he approached, I imagined him walking to me, undoing his buckle, and standing before me as my hands went up and reached inside his briefs. I longed for the hard, velvety feel of him in my hands and the taste of him in my mouth. The first few times hadn’t been enough. So tonight, I wanted him to do more.

  “Are you still almost not mad at me anymore?” He sat in the middle of the couch, a few feet away from me.

  I inhaled and swallowed, pushing my thoughts aside so that I could act unaffected by him because it was what he wanted.

  “No.” The single word I managed came out breathy.

  He frowned, and I realized he must have thought I was still upset with him.

  “I’m not mad at you anymore.”

  A small smile lifted the corners of his lips. “Good.”

  He moved closer to me, and I wasn’t as upright as the few times he’d rested his head on my shoulder. I was propped in the corner of the couch on my side, an oversize pillow beneath my head and my feet curled behind me. So, my heart thumped as I tried to anticipate the way he was planning to connect with me. A connection was the only way to explain it because, since I’d forced him to stop touching me, I realized it was all I wanted.

  Even if the touch wasn’t sexual in any way, I needed to feel that connection with him.

  He pressed the side of his face to my hip and dropped his large arms on either side of my figure. Warmth and desire coursed through my body from the contact. Him in his white dress shirt, tie loose around his neck, his attention on the television, Caleb was everything I’d never dreamed of. Yet this moment was too perfect to be real.

  One of my hands lifted to comb through the silky texture of his disheveled hair. It was like the hair on a cat, so soft and smooth that I couldn’t help but caress it, allowing it to glide through my fingers over and over again.

  Caleb sighed. “I should probably get changed.”

  “Long day?”

  “Way too long.”

  My hand moved down to the back of his head, and my fingernails scratched his nape before moving back up. He groaned, and my sex clenched from the memory of that sound.

  “How was your day with Mackenzie?”

  “It was good. Kind of like it hadn’t even been five years,” I told him.

  “Makes sense. Calvin was right then. It was the same way with him and me when we saw each other again,” Caleb explained.

  This made me curious. Neither of them had talked about their friendship in the past, but each had thrown hints that there was something more to their bond.

  “How old were you when you guys separated? And I don’t know why I’m making it sound like a marriage.”

  “Yeah. Don’t say that too loud; he’ll probably propose.”

  I chuckled. “He probably would.”

  You’re kind of a catch, Caleb Sawyer.

  “Anyway, I was eleven, but I got to see him again when I moved into the suite at seventeen.”

  “How did you lose contact with him?” I tried to sound nonchalant, but I was dying for answers.

  “I was homeschooled.” Before I could ask more questions, he said, “There’s something I have to tell you.”

  Preparing for the worst, the dark well where I let all the bad things fester opened up in my chest. Even my hand stopped moving in his hair as I waited. I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for—for him to confide that he’d slept with Amber or that Alex Connor was making him do something horrible. One of those should be much worse than the other, but right now, they carried the same weight.r />
  “Brad knows about the nurse who drew a sample of his blood.”

  Way, way worse.

  “What?”

  “I should have known. I don’t know why I thought it could have really been that simple.

  “Anyway, that’s the reason Amber was at the apartment. Brad said he wanted to meet the blonde the cop had seen me with that night we were on the highway. He said, if I showed him who I was with, he’d get off my back, but he didn’t even show.

  “And, now, the nurse, Stacy Lenard, is missing. The hospital said she took a month’s vacation. But Connor could have forced her to do that, so it wouldn’t seem strange when she went missing. I don’t know where she is, and I think they’re going to hurt her.” He let out a loud exhale. “They already are...hurting her.”

  I tried not to think about what hurting entailed, but I made a mental note to search for Stacy online later.

  Shifting until Caleb eased his weight from my hip, I stretched my legs out at the shorter end of the sectional and tapped him to move, so his head could rest on my lap. This was more comfortable, and with his head still turned to the television, I could play in his hair with both hands.

  “How did Brad find out about the nurse if he was asleep?” I asked.

  He sighed. “I don’t know.”

  “How do you know they have her?”

  “Brad told me.”

  A sick feeling twisted my gut, and I could tell this was bothering him, too. “Well, he could be lying to get under your skin,” I suggested. “Or, what if the nurse is working with Connor and his men? I mean, if he has a high-ranking cop working with him, it’s possible he could have that nurse too. How did you get her to do it in the first place? She must have known the risk.” That last part was vile. I knew the risk of messing with Alex Connor, yet here I was, mailing him letters from the dead.

  “I paid her sixty thousand dollars.”

  My eyebrows flew up.

  “Well,” I said, pushing aside another important question about all that money, “maybe she took the money and left town. You don’t know what happened.”

  “Don’t do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Give me hope.”

  I frowned, staring down at him. I wanted to give him much more than that. I didn’t understand why he didn’t want hope, me, or anything.

  What is he not telling me?

  Guilt seeped out of that dark, unlocked well.

  What am I not telling him?

  He didn’t want hope, and I couldn’t take my anxiety pills, knowing what was waiting for me every time I stepped outside of these walls.

  Shaking my head, I continued to pass my hand through his hair, twirling strands of it around my fingers. It was probably due for a trim, but I liked it like this.

  He fell asleep not long after, and as my sadness settled inside that dark well, I closed it, pushing it down until next time.

  Smiling down at him, I traced a finger over his always-perfect five o’clock shadow.

  He was the most handsome man I’d ever seen.

  My mind journeyed to what his life must have been like, growing up and getting homeschooled.

  Did he have someone to hug or lean on when he was down? Did he have a nanny to take care of him the way a mother would have, the way Olivia would have? More questions I would have to ask him another day.

  For the moment, I liked doing this. Liked being this person for him. And, judging by the way he slept, touching his hair was as therapeutic for him as it was for me.

  ❧

  A gush of wind hit me, and I peeked under heavy eyelids to see a heavy blanket being folded across my chest.

  Calvin.

  Closing my eyes, I drifted off again.

  ❧

  I felt weightless, like a feather wafting through the air. No. That wasn’t possible. Something was wrong. My heart skipped a beat and almost lurched through my chest before I opened my eyes. It was dark, and I was being carried. A familiar scent floated around me, and I sniffed. Cool, fresh, and...Caleb.

  “Go back to sleep. It’s okay,” came a soothing whisper.

  As I snuggled closer to his chest, my worries faded, and I was out again.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Caleb

  I was wrong.

  I was wrong about everything.

  Tapping my fingers on the metal rods framing the glass-surrounded balcony, I peered at the sun gradually rising over the bay. Paige was asleep in her room where I’d placed her last night because if I woke up next to her again, I would want things with her I shouldn’t want. I would want a life I wasn’t meant to have.

  A life I would never have. Not after what I’d set in motion with Bailey last night.

  The reason I was wrong was not for doing what needed to be done to stop Connor, but for believing that Paige and I were too broken for each other. We were perfect for each other. In fact, I was sure she and I were the only ones who could fix each other. Which was also why I should do better at staying away. She deserved forever, and I could only give her right now.

  I gripped the bar, fighting every bone in my body that was insisting I go to her room.

  Sighting movement to my right on the balcony extending out from the living room, I looked over.

  Calvin cocked his head back and opened his hands in a questioning motion, as in, What the fuck are you doing on the balcony when a beautiful girl should be lying in your bed?

  Only she wasn’t. I shook my head. Calvin pointed at my room, and the small shake of his head was another question.

  I jerked my head in a quick, Nope, Paige is absolutely not in my bed.

  He threw his hands up in a dramatic, Really, motherfucker? You are so dumb.

  I showed him my middle finger.

  “Calvin, what are you doing?” Paige asked.

  Shit, she’s awake.

  “Uh...” Calvin raised both arms again and then drew his hands down to clasp them at his chest. “I’m praying.”

  Paige sounded incredulous as she asked, “You’re praying?”

  “Yeah, the sun’s rising. I’m awake. Alive.” He turned to face the sun as he lifted both arms, welcoming the world around him. “It’s a good day to be alive.” He cleared his throat. “A good day to be alive and ask God, Why didn’t Paige and Caleb sleep together last night? And why is Caleb also on the balcony, praying to the morning sun?” He sighed and turned to me. “Sorry, bro. I can’t lie to this girl. But it’s going to be a good day. Anyone else feel this energy?”

  I’m going to ruin his day.

  After getting dressed for work, I left my room to find Paige sitting at the breakfast bar, moving so that the black barstool jerked from left and right, though not by much. She was dressed in workout shorts and a loose-fitting T-shirt with her hair gathered at the top of her head.

  I walked up to her, ready to apologize for Calvin, when she said, “So, are you done praying to the morning sun?”

  I chuckled. “So, everyone has jokes this morning.” I moved closer to the edge of the counter and seized the glass of orange juice sitting on the counter in front of her. I brought the glass to my lips.

  “Hey,” Paige protested as I drank.

  “You don’t get to make fun of me,” I said, setting the half-empty glass back where it had been and resting one hand on the back of her chair.

  “Why not? It was funny.”

  “Oh, yeah? I didn’t think it was funny. You should be glad I was praying.”

  “So, you were praying?” She grinned, and I bit my lip.

  This girl.

  Giving her a pointed look, I leaned in, placing my elbow on the counter so that I was closer to her height. “No, Paige. I was fighting a very sinful urge. You have no idea.”

  “Did it work? Did you fight it?” she asked, her baby-blue eyes pulling me into a daze.

  “No.” My eyes lowered to her lips. Somehow pinker than I remembered them.

  Did she paint them with her favorite lip balm? Did t
hey taste like bubblegum right now?

  “Then, I don’t understand why you’re fighting—”

  I leaned forward, capturing her lips with mine. When I felt no reaction from her, I pressed my lips to hers again, slower this time, before slightly pulling back, but her lips followed mine, wanting...

  My hand left the stool and skimmed up her back to cup the nape of her neck, and then I delved in, coaxing her lips apart so that I could taste her. Hunger stirred from a completely famished root, and I took, drowning in her soft, sweet lips that didn’t taste like bubblegum but something equally sweet, equally addictive. My tongue tangled hers before I retrieved it so I could nibble on her bottom lip.

  So damn delicious.

  “I’m guessing this is the answer to that prayer. Huh, interesting.”

  Leaning my forehead against hers, I broke the kiss, shaking my head.

  Fucking Calvin.

  “Shit, Mom was right, I do need to pray more.”

  Tightening my grip at the back of her neck, I pulled back, and hoping she could pick up on my nonverbal cues, I stared into her eyes with a look that said, We need to talk.

  She gave me a slight nod, and I wanted to lose myself in the depths of those gorgeous eyes, but instead, I stowed this moment as something to hold on to. I would need it one day.

  As I straightened, my thumb slid over a rosy cheek before I dropped my hand and turned to Calvin, who was now joined by Luke. “I should ruin your day for that.”

  ❧

  As luck would have it, it wasn’t a good day. For Calvin.

  I wasn’t even the one to ruin his day. It was about three in the afternoon, and the sun was sending a searing heat wave across the city, but with all my windows fully tinted and my AC on high, it didn’t bother me too much. As my phone rang and blocked out the music in my car, I pressed the little green button with the phone icon on my steering wheel.

  “Caleb, I need you,” Calvin said.

  Air caught inside my chest. The first person I thought about was Paige. “What’s going on?”