Hope (Things That Matter Book 2)

by Casey Diam

  My cock rose beneath the towel. “I’m sure you could.”

  She persisted in making her point, like I hadn’t even spoken. “It isn’t a one-way street. You always take care of me, and I want to take care of you, too.”

  This girl.

  “I wish...” I silently finished, I had a mom to introduce you to.

  I thought back on Alex Connor’s words and felt heat behind my eyes.

  Sighing, I jerked my head to the side. “He killed her. That’s why he wanted to see me. Brad had told him about the blood test, and after he told me he’d killed my mom, he said...” I pressed a thumb into the ache above my eye and rubbed. “He didn’t say it specifically, but I knew it was what he had done. He raped her, and she got pregnant with me.”

  “I’m sorry.” Her hand caught the hand I’d been rubbing my brow with. She pulled it toward her and stared down. Then I saw what she was staring at. My ring finger had ballooned. “Your finger. It’s sprained or—”

  “It’s broken.”

  “You need to get it fixed. You need to see a—”

  “It’s fine.”

  “But—”

  I pressed my thumb to her lips. “If you didn’t want me to take you to the doctor when you practically had a concussion, then there’s no damn way I’m going to the doctor for a stupid, broken finger.”

  “But you have a Band-Aid on a tiny, stupid cut.”

  I scrunched my face and evaded her comment with a shallow laugh. That was another story, one that I didn’t want to tell her or she’d want in.

  Raising her hand, she massaged the same tension-laden spot above my eye. “I hate him.”

  I ran my hands up the sides of her body. I loved how comfortable she was with being naked. A beautiful distraction. I thumbed the underside of her breast as she leaned in and placed a soothing kiss to my forehead. I’d never had this with anyone, and fuck, maybe I did want her to take my pain. Because that was exactly what she was doing, and I didn’t want this moment to end.

  “I’m going to get you ice for your finger.”

  She started to move from my lap, and I secured my arms around her back and pulled her closer, using the heat from my body as a blanket to hers.

  “No.”

  Her hands dropped to my shoulders and slipped to the back of my neck, and with another brief kiss to my forehead, she whispered, “Okay.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Paige

  Lying prone on the fabric couch, I stared at the plain ceiling tiles in the room, wondering how many people had lain here like this on this couch.

  I wanted to know if they got better and, if they did, how long it took.

  This was my fourth session of therapy, and I should feel somewhat better, but I didn’t. Sometimes, I felt it could be because I didn’t want to get better. Like I was scared to get better.

  How stupid.

  “The anniversary of the Sawyers’ passing is one week away.” Marian’s voice sounded like the last ten minutes of yoga when the instructor’s voice became a tranquil monotone; I knew this from the yoga classes she’d suggested I take. “What do you usually do during this time?”

  “Nothing.” My arms were folded over my stomach, and my nails scratched the material on my gray sweatshirt. “Usually, I try to forget. A few weeks out, I stop paying attention to the dates. My birthday passes without me realizing.” A low feeling slithered around my gut. “But I always remember. I don’t have to look at the date to know. I feel it.” I shook my head, blinking away the tears before they came.

  “And what is that feeling? Can you explain what it feels like?”

  The well inside my chest cracked, and I stood at the edge of its rough stone edges in a white gown, peering down into its depths.

  “Darkness. Inside and outside of me.” I realized my breaths were coming in a quick succession, and I paused, taking a few measured ones. “It feels like a black cloud following me. Everywhere.”

  “Emotionally, how does that darkness make you feel?”

  “Awful. Alone. Scared.” I bit my lip, subconsciously drifting away from the girl as she took a seat on the edge of the well, as if waiting for something to happen. “Crazy,” I finished.

  “Are there thoughts you remember being constant as you get these feelings?”

  “No...yes,” I sighed. “I always wonder why it happened, but I still don’t understand, and sometimes, I feel like it would be easier if it had been me and not them.”

  Marian didn’t respond, and in my peripheral, I could see she wasn’t taking notes.

  I was thankful enough to continue. “I don’t have thoughts of hurting myself. I just...it really sucks.”

  Mainly because Alex Connor was still out there, hurting other people...hurting his son.

  “Have you returned to the house or visited the cemetery since our first session?”

  “No.” I lowered my feet to the floor and sat up straight. “To both.”

  The cemetery I couldn’t go to, not until Alex Connor and his goons stopped running around; until then, my family couldn’t find peace, and neither could I.

  “You described revisiting the house as being a bit awful, but sometimes, it is our deepest fears that keep us from moving forward, and in order to liberate ourselves and move past it, we can only accept it. Don’t fight it. Don’t be afraid of it. Hold hands with it. Talk with it. Find peace with your fear. Your family meant a lot to you, and you meant a lot to them, Paige. It won’t be easy. But you will find a way.”

  I heard her, but I wasn’t sure it was time for me to hear this. My reasons for wanting to return to the house had nothing to do with accepting what had happened. But I was banking on it to help me find a way, one that would explain why everything had happened.

  ❧

  Caleb decided not to carry the phone he used to communicate with me and the guys to work, and it was killing me. After what had gone down Saturday night, I wanted to check in with him to make sure he wasn’t being dragged away by his father again.

  It was Monday, and after spending most of the day in bed with him yesterday, I shouldn’t feel this anxious. But something was changing, and I could feel it. His brother had ratted him out. Alex Connor didn’t trust him. He’d even told me the reason he wasn’t more injured was because of an upcoming deal he had to close for Connor.

  So, what will happen after that deal is done?

  I was pacing again but stopped as I heard the elevator, and when I looked around the corner, Calvin stepped out.

  I ran over and threw my arms around him. “Oh my gosh, you’re here.”

  He returned my hug. “I was gone only for the weekend.”

  “Yeah, but you said you were coming by, and you never did.”

  Calvin was still my favorite out of all his friends. Probably because he had to put up with me more, but he was kind and had major points for being a cool roommate.

  “Caleb returned my text, so I knew you’d be all right.”

  “Is everything okay with you? Caleb mentioned you were taking care of your sister.”

  “I’m sure it’ll get better.” Seeming distressed with the topic of his sister, he nodded to Rob. “Hey, dude.”

  He threw his keys on the counter, and a loud clang echoed in the living room. My eyes remained on the keys splayed out from the ring, and it made me think of Caleb’s keys. I bet Caleb’s keys had access to places I could use to help me find a way into Alex Connor’s world where there were answers.

  “Shit, Paige. This place is like a fortress, and my boy still has someone here, watching you. It doesn’t bother you?”

  No, it didn’t bother me, but if I went forward with the plan forming in my head, it was going to become a problem.

  “It was strange at first, but I don’t mind it.”

  He lifted the cover from his blender and scooped protein powder from the large bottle. “Good, because he’s slightly obsessed with your safety. I mean”—he raised his hands to make his point—“not slightly. Obv
iously.”

  I smiled. “I like it.”

  This was proof of how well I’d been hiding my anxiety that only Caleb would know to do this for me. Perching on a barstool around the breakfast bar, I watched Calvin as he added milk to the blender and a few other unknown ingredients to his daily shake.

  “Soooo, are any of those steroids?”

  He laughed. “All natural, girl.” He extended an arm so I could see the cut in his upper arm as the muscles pulled tight. “You can’t buy these in a store.”

  “I don’t get it. You have, like, ten different kinds of protein powder in the pantry.”

  “First of all, one of them is Caleb’s.”

  “Just one?” I shrieked. “Why are you building anyway? Are you planning to compete or something?”

  He shrugged. “I like it. It’s the only thing I have to do now besides keeping you safe.” He flexed a bicep, stretching the already-tight T-shirt around it. “So, don’t be surprised if these babies grow another inch in a week.”

  After a few more minutes of me busting Calvin’s balls, Rob took off, and I went back to the sofa and opened up one of the novels Caleb had bought for me while I tried my best to stop my concerns about him.

  An hour later, the elevator was called, and Caleb appeared. My chest swelled, and I closed my book. My book boyfriends wouldn’t be getting any loving today, not when my real boyfriend for now was here. And he was okay. Jogging up to him, I threw myself at him, much like I’d attacked Calvin earlier. Only Caleb got more loving as I tipped on my toes. My hands curved around the back of his neck, and I urged his face down to mine for a kiss. His hands went straight to my ass, squeezing before giving it a gentle slap.

  “I just thought of something,” I said, my lips next to his jaw as I combed my fingers through his hair. “You’re my BFN.”

  “What’s that?”

  “My boyfriend-for-now.”

  “Hmm, I’m your boyfriend?” He kissed my neck.

  “Yeah,” I muttered, my body arching into him as I melted.

  “I have the sexiest girlfriend-for-now then, and I can’t wait to fuck her later.” He nipped on the skin at the base of my neck, and my knees about gave out. “I’m going to change and get a quick workout in. I’ll be back.” He looked around, his eyebrows furrowing. “Where’s—”

  “Calvin’s here. He’s in his room.”

  “Oh.” He dropped a kiss on my mouth. “I’ll see you in an hour then. Unless you want to work out with me?”

  My hands slid down to his lapels, and I clasped them, about to accept his invitation even though I’d already worked out today, but something else came to mind. His keys.

  Will he leave them here while he’s downstairs?

  Sometimes, if he knew Calvin and I were up here, he would leave his keys and call us to send the elevator.

  “Maybe next time,” I uttered, biting my lip.

  “Okay.”

  Calvin came out of his room and turned on the television while Caleb was in his room changing. As we peered at the television screen, Caleb came out, his keys dangling in his shorts pocket.

  I cursed under my breath.

  Calvin glanced at me before looking at Caleb.

  “You two should think of a code for the guys to use when they call for the elevator. It’s unlikely Connor can find out where we live, or what floor we’re on since I have this condo under someone else’s name, but we can never be too sure,” Caleb said before walking out.

  “What was that for?” Calvin asked.

  I shook my head. “Nothing.”

  He clicked the Guide button on the remote and scrolled through the programs. “Well, whatever it is, you should know, I’ve got your back. You can trust me.”

  My ears perked up as my interest rose.

  “Ryan told me about the other night when Caleb got back. There’s a reason these are my friends, Paige. They’re loyal to the very end, and if one of them is stumbling like I know Caleb is, I have to do something. Anyway, if you have a plan, I’m in.”

  Chapter Thirty

  Caleb

  It was like we were in a trance.

  I would never get tired of fucking her.

  Every time I slid inside her, the only things that mattered were the snug muscles gripping my cock and the overwhelming emotions fueling my desire.

  She threw her head back, her hands in her hair and breasts moving up and down as she rolled her hips back and forth. I hadn’t even had to teach her how to ride me. It was natural for her. She wanted, and she took, turning into my own little vixen. And I fucking loved it. Without lifting my hips off the bed, I worked my cock into her delicious cunt. As she moaned, my fingers dug into her hips, pulling her down so that I could fill her completely.

  “Caleb,” she sighed, her hands coming down to cover her breasts. She squeezed them before pinching her nipples.

  Holy fuck.

  The sight alone made me want to release the tension in my balls. My hand moved down to her sensitive nub, and I massaged slowly. Her gaze lowered and met mine, and I knew she was about to come apart so I grabbed her ass and pounded into her, fucking her until she tightened around my cock. Her pussy caressed and coaxed my own pleasure to come free, but I held on, rotating her beneath me and fucking her with everything I had. I couldn’t go deep enough, fast enough, and hard enough, but she cried out my name, squirming beneath me once more. I pulled out and flipped her onto her front, slapping her ass and grabbing it as I shoved the weight of my cock into her drenched channel.

  Her pussy is mine. Fucking perfect, and all mine.

  My name fell from her lips, and as she clenched the sheets into her fists, I pressed my front to her back. Snaking a hand beneath her body and finding her clit, I rubbed. I wanted her to keep coming on my cock. Wetness trickled over my fingers as I quickened my pace, fucking her pliable body until she was stiffening and screaming my name. She almost pushed me off her body with the force of her orgasm, but I didn’t budge. I stayed buried, my cock pulsating so hard I trembled. Heat burned between our bodies, and perspiration fought to cool our skin as we panted in sheer exhaustion.

  Minutes passed, and she was the first to talk, though it sounded like a hum. “Mmm. What was that?”

  I let my tongue lick her skin as I kissed her damp shoulder. “Me being the best boyfriend you’ve ever had.”

  I should pull out and dispose of the condom, but I didn’t want to. Our connection held a passion I’d never known, and this was the only way I could show her that. So, if it meant fucking her until she couldn’t walk, then that was what I would do because words weren’t my friend when I’d never felt anything like this.

  “Caleb, if you can fuck like that with a broken finger, I think you might go down in history as the best boyfriend any girl has ever had. You don’t even need to do anything else. Just do that.”

  I laughed.

  Fucking hell. When I should be concerned about a million other things, she makes me laugh.

  I didn’t know what I would do without her. It wouldn’t be long before things would begin to change, and as the clock ticked down, I wanted to make sure my every moment was well spent with her.

  “You make me happy,” I told her.

  “Ditto.”

  After we cleaned up and settled back into bed, she placed her cheek on my chest. As her fingers skimmed over my collarbone, she said, “Tell me about living at Alex Connor’s house. What was it like for you growing up?”

  Her question threw me. It was uncharacteristic of her. And I’d never talked about my time at the house, not even with Calvin, who knew about the hell I’d been through. But, with us in the darkness like this, it felt like nothing could touch us. It was just her and me.

  Deciding to give her a shred of what she’d asked, I began, “It was shitty. I don’t remember much before ten, just being pushed around mostly.” By being pushed around, I meant, being backhanded, but I couldn’t burden her with those details, so I continued, “I was homeschooled, only sp
ent one year in public school when I was ten. Then, I moved into the suite at seventeen, and then I went to college.”

  “But what was Alex Connor like? Did he treat you like a son? Did he get married? Did you have a stepmother?”

  I bit the corner of my lip as I traced circles on her naked back. “No. I had cooks, tutors, maids.”

  Her question made me curious. I’d never seen Connor with a woman my whole life. Unless he hadn’t introduced them to me. Or he had fucked around with the same maids who came to my room from time to time. Even more disturbing.

  “I’m sorry,” Paige murmured, her hands moving down my torso in a slow caress. “What’s the worst he’s ever done to you?”

  I swallowed and breathed, “Why?”

  “I want to know more about you.”

  “The worst he’s ever done is...let me watch someone else get hurt. Don’t ask me to tell you about it because then I’ll have to say TTM.”

  “Okay, I won’t. How about Stacy Lenard, the nurse? Do you think he has her at the house?”

  “No.” I shook my head as I remembered the call Brad had made that night, asking the guys to change locations. Though it could have been a ploy. “I don’t know. Fuck, this sucks. I need to do something. I shouldn’t have gotten her involved.”

  There was no point in getting the police to raid the house, with the way Alex Connor’s men cleaned and disposed of anything leading back to them.

  Paige went quiet for a moment. “When you told me not to come looking for you if you didn’t come back, what was that? I know you went away for two days sometime ago when we just met, but what happens? Does he keep you hostage or something and hurt you?”

  She was thinking about two nights ago when I had come back here, bloodied with a broken finger. She shouldn’t have seen that.

  “Uh...” I let out a long breath and combed my fingers through her hair. “Yes.”

  Moving her leg to rest on one of my thighs, she slipped her hand down to cover my flaccid dick, and desire shot through my body, causing it to twitch in her hand.

  “What’s the longest he’s ever kept you there?” she asked.

  I pulled my thoughts from her hand casually cupping my balls to answer her question. “I’m not sure. Maybe two months, but my whole time living there, I wasn’t allowed out of the building for the most part.”