Apple Orchard Bride

by Jessica Keller

  As they exited the orchard, Kasey came running outside. “You found her!”

  “Shh. She’s sleeping,” Toby hushed her. “You were supposed to stay with Mr. Crest.”

  “He told me to keep watch from the porch. Said you might need help.” Her green eyes were deep and scanning Jenna, as if she was expecting to find an injury. Kasey had been worried, too.

  “Okay. Grab the doors, then come with me all the way up to her room, all right?”

  Kasey held the back door, and Toby carried Jenna inside. Mr. Crest spotted them and looked at Toby. Something passed between them—understanding of the mutual love they had for the woman in his arms—and then Mr. Crest nodded. “Take her up.”

  Toby used his head to motion toward the stairs, silently telling Kasey to go in front of him. She caught the hint and pounded up the steps. It was a wonder that Jenna didn’t wake up with all the racket the small girl was making.

  Kasey eased open the door to Jenna’s room and ran to the bed. She flung back the blankets. “I’m ready.” Kasey grinned. “I’ll tuck her in.”

  “Whisper,” Toby reminded her. He lay down his precious cargo and froze for a second. He wanted to drop a kiss to her temple, but not yet. Not without Jenna’s knowledge and consent, and definitely not in front of Kasey, who would never stop talking about the show of affection.

  But if he hung around too much longer, he might not be able to hold back. At the moment, he didn’t trust himself not to shake Jenna awake so he could profess his love to her. Good thing Kasey was around. Her presence helped him keep his wits together.

  He fled down the stairs and offered a quick explanation to Mr. Crest before leaving the house without eating breakfast. Toby headed into the orchard to work, but his thoughts kept drifting to images of his best friend in a white dress walking toward him down the long, natural aisle made of trees.

  * * *

  Blazes of sunlight dappled the walls of Jenna’s childhood bedroom. She stretched and turned, trying to will her eyes to focus on the clock perched on her nightstand, but the red numbers bled together. She blinked a couple times. Her contacts needed more moisture before she was going to be able to see much of anything clearly.

  Jenna scrubbed her hand down her face while she yawned. A stretch followed, complete with some popping noises from her spine. Actually, her entire back ached, as if she’d slept on a concrete floor all night.

  Or as if her dream last night had been real.

  She snuggled back into her blankets and closed her eyes, reliving the inviting image her mind had created of being carried through the orchard in Toby’s strong arms. The steady hum of his heartbeat beside her, and the deep smell of cedar that must be from the cologne he wore. Jenna cupped her hand over her cheek, remembering the waffle texture of the black fitted henley he’d been wearing. Toby was funny that way. He always started the day in a henley or sweatshirt, but within ten minutes of working, he’d peel the first layer off and stay in his T-shirt for the rest of the day.

  It had been a long time since she’d enjoyed such a detailed dream. After everything happened in college, she’d been afraid of falling asleep and battled insomnia in the beginning. For the first few years, because she wasn’t dealing well with the emotional trauma of what she’d been through, her mind had chosen to cope by replaying the attacks each night. She could block out her thoughts during the day, but her mind wasn’t safe while sleeping.

  But nothing felt safer than the dream she’d experienced last night, than picturing herself in Toby’s arms.

  Keep dreaming, lady. Because it sure isn’t ever going to happen in real life.

  Her door eased open, and a little head peeked in. “You’re finally awake.”

  Jenna hauled herself up to a sitting position, propped against the headboard. She patted the bed beside her, inviting Kasey to join her. The little girl sometimes liked to snuggle with Jenna. She’d mentioned that she used to do that with her mom sometimes.

  That was all the prompting Kasey required. She launched herself onto the bed, landing with a thud and a rush of air. “I thought you might sleep for-ev-er.”

  Jenna knocked her shoulder gently into Kasey’s. “Guess I overslept.”

  “By a lot. A whole, whole lot.”

  Jenna stifled another yawn. “Are they waiting on me for breakfast? I better get cleaned up.” She was still wearing what she’d worn yesterday. Lovely. She must have shuffled over from the kitchen last night in a zombielike state and fallen into bed from pure exhaustion. The last time she’d looked at the clock in the kitchen, it had been closing in on four in the morning, and she’d still had pies in the oven. That put her not going to bed until five or later.

  Kasey giggled. “It’s long past breakfast. Lunch, too.”

  Jenna swung her head toward the little girl. “Wait. What? It’s past noon?” How had she slept so late? She never did that. “Why did you guys let me sleep so long?” She pushed forward as if to get up and caught a look at the clock. It was past one in the afternoon. “The shop.”

  Kasey caught her arm. “Your friend Kendall stopped by. She wanted to talk to you about using the barn for her wedding. But when we told her you didn’t sleep all night, she volunteered to stay and help. Her and Grandpa are down helping people.”

  Jenna relaxed her shoulders.

  Okay, if Kendall was helping Dad, then Jenna could sneak in a quick shower and a bite to eat before heading outside. She patted her hair. It felt big. The joys of having naturally curly hair.

  Kasey swung her feet so they banged against the bedframe. “I came in to get a cheese stick for a snack. They said to leave you alone, but I just had to check on you. After Toby brought you back, I was so worried. I wanted to make sure you were okay. You don’t have a cold from sleeping outside, do you? I don’t want you to get sick.”

  Jenna’s world came to a screeching halt. She grabbed the metal rod that ran over the top of her headrest, trying to ground herself. “I’m sorry, after Toby what?”

  “You weren’t in your room this morning. I checked.” Kasey’s eyes were huge as she spoke. Excitement pulsed from her words. “Toby went to look for you. He carried you all the way back here. He’s pretty strong, isn’t he?”

  Her dream. No. No. No. That was real? He’d carried her, and she’d babbled about wanting to marry him? Jenna dropped her head into her hands and took a few deep breaths. Then she turned toward Kasey. “I was outside? In the orchard? Toby carried me? You’re sure? Absolutely sure?”

  “Uh-huh.” Thud. Thud. Thud. Her feet hit the bedframe with pendulum precision.

  “It was all real? All of it?”

  Kasey’s nods were exaggerated. “I saw.”

  Acid pooled in the back of Jenna’s mouth. She was going to be sick. “This can’t be happening.” Jenna curved her shoulders inward and rocked back and forth. “I’ll never be able to face him again.”

  “Jenna?” Kasey snaked her hand to rest on Jenna’s thigh. Jenna stopped rocking and stared down at the contact.

  “I was scared,” Kasey whispered. “When you weren’t here. Just like I was scared yesterday when Toby fell.”

  Kasey needs you.

  God, help me say the right things to her. Help me get out of my own head, my own fear. I can’t spin into a panic attack over how embarrassed I am over Toby, over what happened. God, give me strength. Help me be a beacon of hope for this child, one that points to You.

  Jenna reached trembling hands to frame the sides of Kasey’s face. “You don’t have to be scared. I’m fine. I think. I’ll be fine.”

  Kasey’s eyes searched hers. “You’re sure you’re not sick?”

  Only if heartsick counts.

  Wasting time worrying about the turmoil she felt concerning Toby wouldn’t aid Jenna in calming Kasey’s fears. “I was tired and it was so early in
the morning I wanted to watch the sunrise. So I went down to the pond. We—I mean I—used to watch sunsets there sometimes. I must have fallen asleep.”

  Kasey latched on to her hand. “I really like you guys. Toby and your dad and you.”

  “We love you, too, Kasey.” Jenna released Kasey’s hand so she could wrap her arm around the child’s shoulders. She pulled Kasey close. “You know that, right?”

  “I feel like it’s wrong.” Kasey studied the toes of her purple shoes. “I like you guys, but I miss my mom still.” Her voice was so small. “Do you think that’s okay?”

  “Kasey.” Jenna pulled the little girl into a full hug as her tiny shoulders started shaking with tears. “I lost my mom, too,” Jenna said. “I miss her all the time. It’s okay to miss them. Missing is the heart’s memory of love.”

  “What if I forget her?” Kasey’s voice shook.

  “We’ll make sure you don’t.” Jenna rubbed a circle into Kasey’s back. “Do you know what helped me? Here.” She leaned over, opened the drawer on her nightstand and pulled out one of the many empty notebooks she’d purchased simply because she liked the design on the outside and relished the idea of writing in them one day. Her journal-purchasing habit was seriously getting out of hand. She’d never fill them all.

  Jenna placed the book into Kasey’s hands. “This is a journal. I want you to start writing in it.”

  Kasey ran her thumb over the intricate design on the cover. “About what?”

  “You can write down things you remember about your mom. You could draw pictures. You could write what you would tell her about your day if she were still here.”

  “I like knowing that you knew her.” Kasey hugged the journal to her chest and rested her chin on the top of it.

  “She was a really fun person. She and I had sleepovers when she used to visit Toby’s family during summer break. We’d talk late into the night, right in this room.”

  “Really?”

  Jenna tucked Kasey’s long hair behind her ears. “Really.”

  “Sometimes I feel so mad,” she said in a tiny voice, as if she was fearful of admitting it out loud. “Or super, super sad. It’s scary—feeling so much. Did that happen to you, too, when your mom died?”

  “It did. Sometimes I still struggle with that. But I’m going to tell you a secret. I have a little trick.” Jenna hopped off the bed, crossed to her closet and fished a colorful decorated shoebox off the top shelf inside. “See this box?” She carried it back to the bed. “It’s an old shoebox that I covered with pictures I cut out of magazines.”

  “It’s pretty.”

  “All these things on here remind me of my mom.” Jenna tapped a picture of a needle and thread. “She used to sew quilts. And she was the best cook.” She found an image of a cookie and a chalkboard on her collage artwork. “She was also my teacher. She homeschooled me for most of my life. I don’t know if you knew that.”

  Jenna lifted the top off to reveal all the notecards inside. “But inside this box, that’s the good stuff. See, I keep cards near my box and on my nightstand. I write down good memories of her, and I also write down encouraging quotes or positive things that happen in my life. I put them all in this box, and then whenever I’m having a day where I’m struggling with feeling mad or super sad, I open this box and read through all the cards until I feel better. It’s a visual way of counting your blessings.”

  Kasey caressed her fingers over the lid. “I want to make one.”

  “I’ll run to the store today and get you a box and a bunch of magazines so you can decorate it.” Jenna put the lid back on, slid off the bed and tucked her box back into the closet.

  Kasey scooted to the very edge of the bed. “Do you still put good thoughts in there?”

  “I do. And do you know what? I wrote a card about you and put it in this box.” Jenna tweaked Kasey’s nose.

  “You did?”

  “I did.”

  “I want to tell Toby the box idea.” Kasey headed for the door. “I’m going to put a card about you in my box, too. Maybe a couple.”

  After Kasey left, Jenna circled around her room a few times, contemplating what to do. Maybe she could play off her interaction with Toby. Oh, I was dreaming it was Brad Pitt carrying me. Not you. But he’d see right through that. She bit the edge of her nail.

  He was never supposed to become aware of her long-hidden feelings. Couldn’t they just go on as they had last week? Have fun together. Focus on working together and taking care of Kasey. She didn’t want to endure some big letdown with Toby where he detailed why he didn’t feel the same way and had to give the awkward “I’m sorry I don’t like you like that” speech.

  And he wouldn’t, because Jenna was going to take a page out of his playbook. She’d ignore the situation. Act like she didn’t remember. If he didn’t bring it up, she wouldn’t either.

  Chapter Ten

  Toby shot Jenna a look that he hoped she took as one of apology when Kasey captured her hand and tugged. The girl wasn’t about to give up on her quest to get the three of them to go on an adventure together. She’d pounced on Jenna the second she was free. It was still long before dinnertime, and Jenna had just closed the Crest Country Store for the day.

  Kasey made her eyes look like they belonged on a sad cartoon puppy dog. “Please, please, please. Say you’ll pick apples with us.” No one could stay strong when it came to the pleading puppy face.

  Poor Jenna. She didn’t stand a chance.

  Then again, it wasn’t like he had made any attempt to talk Kasey out of the idea when she’d presented it to him. Time with Jenna and Kasey? No-brainer. Even if his arms ached from working in the orchard all day, he wouldn’t skip a chance to make a new memory with his two favorite ladies. Toby leaned his neck to the side, enjoying the stretch. The manual labor he performed in the orchard left him ten times as sore as the hardest football practice. It was far more rewarding, too—in a different way.

  Jenna laid her hand over Kasey’s and offered her a small smile. “Aw, that does sound fun, but it’s been a long day. How about a rain check?”

  “You only woke up after lunch. That’s not long. That’s a short day. Super short.” Kasey’s eyes got even bigger, and her bottom lip came out in an embellished pout. The kid had talent. He’d give her that. Toby should sign her up for one of the park district’s drama classes.

  “You know, Kasey has a point,” Toby joked in an effort to catch Jenna’s gaze, but she seemed to be avoiding all eye contact with him.

  Was it because of this morning when he’d carried her? Had she been awake? If so, did she still care about him like that?

  He sucked in a steady breath.

  Kasey let go of Jenna and threw her arms out at her sides and spun a little. “We live on an orchard. I’ve lived here for almost a month, and I haven’t picked any apples. That’s, like, against the law, I think.” She stopped spinning to zero in on Jenna. “I haven’t seen you pick any either. You need to pick apples.”

  “It is really nice out this afternoon,” Toby added.

  Jenna finally looked his way, but her eyes darted away before meeting his. A pretty red flush colored her cheeks. Blond curls tumbled around her shoulders and down her back. She wore dark jeans and a lightweight flannel shirt that was open in the front, showing a cream T-shirt and a belt cinching her waste. And high boots encased her calves.

  All Toby wanted to do was reach out and pull her and Kasey into his arms—together. Ask if they’d be his family forever. After realizing his feelings for her this morning, he hadn’t been able to think of anything besides Jenna all day.

  “Please,” Kasey insisted. “I’ll bug you all night until you say yes.”

  Jenna popped her hands onto her hips. “Well, when you put it that way, it sounds like I don’t have a choice.” Her grin gave
them their answer.

  Kasey whooped. “You want to come! I know you do!”

  “All right. You twisted my arm. Let me just go change out of this and—”

  Toby caught her arm. After seeing her again, he didn’t want to part with her. If they let her head up to her bedroom, she might talk herself out of going with them. Jenna tended to get lost in her head when she was worrying.

  He took a step closer and dropped his voice. “You don’t need to change. Come on, let’s head out.”

  Kasey danced around them. “I’m going to go get a basket. Should I get a big basket or a small one? I think a medium one. I’m going to get one that won’t be too heavy.” She dashed off toward the barn, where they stored all the orchard’s supplies. Kasey wasn’t aware that the Crest property had five or six sheds full of equipment scattered across the property. The biggest one was near an area where Mr. Crest had always kept the hives of bees that pollinated the trees every spring and summer.

  Jenna smoothed her free hand down the front of her flannel until she reached the bottom button. Eyes down, she toyed with the edge of the fabric. “I worked in this. The shop gets hot. I’m probably sweaty and have flour on me and—”

  Toby walked his fingers up her arm until he reached her shoulder blade. Then he tipped her chin so he could stare into her deep blue eyes. “You look beautiful. You always do, no matter what. You always have. You’re the kindest, most honest person I know, and that makes you beautiful every second of every day.”

  Was it too much? He was having a hard time holding back.

  She rolled her eyes and brushed away his fingers. “That sounds an awful lot like how you would describe someone if you were trying to set them up on a blind date. The age-old ‘Oh, but she has such a nice personality.’”

  Her doubt speared him, but it was his fault. Of course his mistakes during high school would make her second-guess any compliments he paid her. Although she’d offered forgiveness, forgiveness didn’t erase memories. It would take patience and repetition and a consistent demonstration of how he felt about her to get Jenna to believe otherwise. He had a long hill to climb, but it was worth it. She was worth it. Toby would be faithful and wait for the right time—even though he wanted to spit out “I love you” right then. He would bide his time until he was certain she’d believe those words.