Silk

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “You have nothing to be sorry about, Ryland.”

  “You’re so good. You accept everything that comes your way with no complaint.”

  “As you can see around us, I don’t think that’s exactly healthy.”

  “I’m sorry your guardians spawned from hell.”

  I smiled. “It’s not your fault, Ryland. People suck. It’s that simple.”

  “I’m sorry… Careless did this to you.”

  I waited a full minute before I finally asked. “Have you talked to Careless since last night? Do you know why…?”

  He sat me down, moving away. I heard him sigh. His figure was blurred and dark against the light from the window.

  “I can’t even stand to look at her, much less talk to her. I can’t think about Careless right now.”

  “She’s your sister, Ryland. Above all of this, she is still your sister.”

  “That doesn’t make what she did any easier, Araya.”

  “I know, but I don’t want you to lose sight of that.”

  “How can you defend her?!”

  “I’m just saying there has to be a reason. Something happened for her to do this.”

  “Don’t, Araya. Don’t feel sorry for her. She doesn’t deserve your forgiveness.”

  “I’m just trying to see where she’s coming from, Ryland.”

  “Well, don’t. She tried to sell you for half a million dollars, Araya!”

  “It doesn’t make sense. She was so against me getting close to you.”

  “It was all part of her plan.” He said it so low that I wasn’t sure he meant to say it out loud.

  “She tried to apologize.”

  He turned toward me. “What? When?”

  I looked up at him. “When she took me shopping. I didn’t realize at the time. I thought she was sorry for giving you such a hard time in the beginning. I just assumed she meant something else. Nina told me she did this to punish me. Punish me because she hated my mother.”

  “I’m sorry J.D. said what he did about your mother, Araya. He was trying to get to you. Don’t let him.”

  “I know my mother and I know she would never have done that. Caused the car accident, I mean. But she was sad the days leading up to my concert. I wish I would’ve known how bad things were.”

  “She didn’t want you feeling guilty. She wanted you to be happy, Araya.”

  “But at what cost, Ryland?”

  “She was a mother. They don’t have limits. Well, unless she’s mine.” I laughed, but it was a pathetic attempt. “Let’s not talk about Careless or Nina and Carl or J.D. and Coraline.”

  “I’m not pregnant,” I said suddenly.

  He sighed. “Come here.”

  He grabbed my fingers and pulled me toward him. Sitting on the edge of my bed, he pulled me between his legs.

  “I feel like an ass for that. I knew you weren’t pregnant. I swear I did. Not for one second did I think you were in on this. Do you believe that? Do you believe me?”

  “Yes.”

  I ran my fingers through his hair and he leaned his head into my stomach. His hand circled the back of my thighs and he ran them up halfway and then back down. I trembled and heat formed between my hips.

  “Do you forgive me for being an ass?” His voice was seductive and his fingers teased the sensitive skin between my thighs.

  “Yes.” I breathed, gripping his shoulders.

  His hands moved to the front of my thighs and he ran his fingers up, lifting my dress.

  “I like this dress,” he said and nipped at my stomach through the material.

  I cried out and my nails dug in deeper.

  “I got it the other day.” My voice was almost non-existent.

  I tried to focus on what I was saying, but it was getting hard. The dress, which Careless had described as an oversized shirt, stopped mid-thigh and had a row of buttons from my cleavage down to the hem. It was vanilla in color and Careless said it blended with my hair.

  “You have beautiful legs.” His voice was a purr of seduction. “Did I tell you how sexy I think it is that you dance?” He ran his palm up my calf to the back of my thigh, squeezing gently, and I shivered.

  I smiled, but it was a sad one. “Used to dance, but thank you.”

  His head lifted under my fingers. “Why does that question upset you? I thought we’d moved past this?”

  “Why do you think it upsets me?” I asked softly, ignoring the other part.

  His hands moved up the back of my thighs again and with a soft tug, he pulled my legs apart and I was straddling his lap. My breath caught and a warm sensation exploded as he pulled my hips closer to him.

  His fingers traced the corners of my eyes before dropping to trace my lips. My skin tightened at his touch and my lips parted on their own.

  “Your eyes got sad.”

  I shook my head and his hand fell away. “They always look like that. My eyes are dead, remember?”

  I moved out of his lap, but his arms were around me before I could put any real distance between us and he pulled me against him so my back pressed against his chest.

  I didn’t have to see him to know the hard glint in his eyes, drilled into the back of my head. I could feel his irritation in the rigid set of his muscles that coiled tightly around me. He hated when I made belittling comments about my blindness, and right now, I was glad I didn’t have to see the disapproving glare.

  “Don’t do that, Araya. Don’t start feeling sorry for yourself now,” he rasped roughly against my ear and my skin exploded into a field of goose bumps.

  “I think I’ve earned the right to engage in some self-pity.”

  “What’s the point? Is it going to change anything? Isn’t that what you say?”

  “The point is I’m tired of being so compliant all the time! Can’t I at least have that?”

  “No. Because it isn’t going to make you feel better. If you’ve taught me anything since I’ve met you, it’s that if you’re going to choose to do something, do something that’s worth the choice. Putting yourself down, feeling sorry for yourself, isn’t worth your time. You’re so much better than that. If you want to be angry, be angry, cry, destroy things, but then you have to make the choice to move on.”

  He was right. I was letting everything that happened in the last twenty-four hours get to me. I’d spent so much time avoiding my situation and pretending I wasn’t angry, but I was and feeling sorry for myself wasn’t going to help. I needed to accept the anger but move on and remember I was alive and my mom wouldn’t want me to dwell on it.

  My body relaxed against Ryland’s chest and I sighed.

  “Looks like I’ve been rubbing off on you.”

  “In all good ways, hummingbird. In all good ways.”

  He nuzzled the side of my neck, kissing the curve of flesh. My eyes slid shut and I dropped my head to the side, granting him what he wanted.

  Nothing was as thrilling as being touched by Ryland. Not even dancing had given me this much excitement, even if the two were completely different. I craved to be touched by him, and to touch him in return, but the fear of my inexperience kept me from doing the things I wanted to do. I hated the anxiety that tied my hands behind my back and left me with a need that burned deep in my muscles.

  My breath caught and I was pulled from my thoughts when I felt the warmth of Ryland’s hands moving against my stomach, toward my sides. He squeezed once, wrapping his fingers firmly around my hips, pulling me tighter against his lap.

  “Ryland.” I gasped his name around a moan.

  I felt his lips twitch and then his teeth were nipping at my earlobe, tugging the soft skin into the heat of his mouth. I felt the unique ache, low in my stomach, and reflexively my body squirmed against his. Dropping my head back against his shoulder, my eyes slid shut and my fingers gripped his thighs.

  “Araya.” He hissed my name and his lips explored the arch of my neck with his teeth and tongue.

  His hands moved over the tops of my thighs
toward my knees and his fingers curved around the inside of my legs, slowly pulling them open and over the side of his. I held my breath as his fingers moved in slow tantalizing circles across the soft skin of my inner thighs, higher and higher, his lips moved down the side of my neck.

  Arching my neck, he swept back my hair, exposing more of my skin to his exploring lips, and I forgot about everything. He gathered my hair in his fist, his lips moving to the back of my neck, nipping softly. Moaning, I dropped my head forward and reflexively moved my hips against his, enjoying the way his breathing deepened.

  “Dear Lord, Araya.” He panted. “Do that again.”

  Biting my lip, I pushed against him again. Slowly dragging my hips across his lap, again and again. Quickly, his fingers dug into my hips, stilling them. I froze, worried I’d done something wrong.

  “I’m sorry—” I started.

  “No.” He cut me off. Pulling down the collar of my dress, his teeth sank into my shoulder. “It felt too damn good, hummingbird. You feel too damn good.”

  His hands moved from my hips over my dress, his fingers pulling at the material until it started to bunch at the tops of my thighs. With each tug, he bared my legs and I felt the cool caress of air. I dug my fingers into the cushion of the couch when his hands wrapped around the insides of my thighs, his thumbs moving over the edge of my panties.

  “Are you okay?” he whispered against my ear before taking it between his teeth and sucking on it gently.

  I had no words to express what I felt at that moment. Everything inside me teetered on the verge of combustion. My intensity level was on overload, and even though a part of me was still frightened, a bigger part of me knew I wasn’t afraid to be with Ryland this way.

  “Yes,” I finally said.

  “Do you want me to stop?” He tugged on my earlobe again, his tongue flickering against it.

  I couldn’t speak, so I shook my head no.

  “Say it, Araya,” he urged. “Say it out loud. I need to hear you say it.” His thumb moved over the center of my panties and my back arched, my hips seeking his touch.

  “Don’t stop, Ryland. Please don’t stop.”

  I felt him smile against my ear, and he traced the edges with his tongue. “Where do you want me to touch you?”

  “Everywhere,” I said quickly.

  I thought I would have been more embarrassed by my confession, but I wasn’t, I wanted Ryland and I wanted him to know that I wanted him, all of him. I needed his touch like I needed to breathe and I wasn’t going to waste my time being too shy to tell him that.

  “Be specific. Do you want me to touch you here?” His thumb moved across me again, and I cried out.

  “Yes, yes, yes. Please, yes!” I ached for him.

  “Where else?” he demanded.

  I found his forearm with my fingers, running them down his arm. I fit my hand over his, interlacing our fingers together. Pulling his hand with mine, I brought it to the button at the bottom of my dress.

  Turning my head until my cheek brushed across his lips, I asked softly, “Take it off, please.”

  “Gladly.” He ran his lips over the corner of my mine.

  With one hand, he plucked at each button, releasing them slowly. His other hand moved over my stomach and across my ribs. In my head, I imagined what we looked like. Sitting on his lap, my face flushed, my eyes dark with arousal, lips parted, my naked skin peeking through the thin opening of my dress as Ryland’s strong hands caressed my skin.

  The image was arousing, and I thought I was going to die from the anticipation. I found myself holding my breath again as he undid the last button. Pushing open the dress, he traced his finger over the top of my panties and up my stomach and ribs, between my breasts and then back down again.

  “I find it sexy as hell that you’re not wearing a bra right now.”

  I blushed. “I don’t have anything sexy to wear. I thought if I wasn’t wearing anything at all…” I didn’t finish.

  “Your clothes don’t make you sexy, Araya. You make everything else beautiful, and this,” he said, cupping my bare breasts, “is sexy as hell.”

  I shivered against his touch, pushing into his hands.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked, tracing the back of my neck with his tongue.

  “More, Ryland.” I gasped. “I need more!”

  His thumbs caressed my nipples and they hardened in a rush. I bit my lip to keep from crying out. He rolled them between his fingers, pulling and squeezing gently. I could feel the ache building low in my belly and between my thighs. It grew with each tug of his fingers against my skin, and my muscles clenched, begging for the release I knew only he could bring. My body had felt it before and it wanted it now.

  He moved his arm across my breasts, caressing both nipples with his forearm. The sensation was overwhelming, but my body still demanded more, more of Ryland’s touch, more of Ryland period.

  Pulling me back against his chest, he whispered softly into my ear. “Lean your head back against my shoulder.” I did as he said. “Close your eyes. Relax your body against mine,” he commanded sweetly. “Don’t move.”

  When I did as he said, he pressed his other palm flat along the center of my ribs, working his hand down. When he got to the edge of my panties, he hesitated for only a second and slipped them underneath. His fingers moved over my skin gently, seeking until they found what they were looking for. His fingers slipped inside my warmth, and I tried to control the small jerk of my body at the spark of his touch.

  “Shh,” he whispered. “I won’t hurt you, I promise.”

  I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t afraid he would hurt me. I wasn’t worried about that at all, but I couldn’t find my voice. His finger found the source of my heat, the source of the spark, and rubbed against it softly. I couldn’t control my reaction this time, and my hips lifted, wanting more of his touch.

  “Oh God!” I moaned and my hips moved against his fingers on their own.

  My fingers dug into his thighs and my legs fell open wider, giving him more access. I couldn’t get enough of the sensation and my hips moved faster against his touch.

  I could feel it building, the fire deep in my muscles, and it then it was so close.

  “Come on, hummingbird. You’re so sweet. I can’t get enough of you.”

  His teeth tugged on my earlobe and I was so turned on that it sent a shock through my entire body. His fingers slipped and he pushed them inside of me and I cried out, pushing against his hand. His breath came out in a hiss and he dropped his head on my shoulder.

  His fingers found my nipple the same time he found the sensitive knot with his thumb. The pressure of his thumb wasn’t enough, though, and I wanted more.

  “Ryland?” I was getting frustrated.

  “What’s wrong, hummingbird?”

  “I need…”

  “What? What do you need?”

  “Harder,” I moaned.

  His thumb moved against me harder this time and my body hummed. It was what I needed, what my body demanded.

  “More, please, more.”

  He moved harder and his fingers got faster and soon my hips matched his rhythm. I could feel the heat. It was so close, and I let my body relax into Ryland’s touch, letting it consume me.

  My breathing quickened, matching his, and I couldn’t stop the moans as they slipped past my lips. My muscles pulsated around his fingers and I couldn’t control it anymore. I exploded, melting into a warm puddle in his hands.

  I thought my release was going to be enough, but it wasn’t and I knew exactly what I wanted. His thumb stroked me again before his hand fell away and that’s all I needed.

  I stood up and faced him, slipping my dress off my shoulders. I took off my panties and stood complete naked in front of him.

  “God, you’re gorgeous.”

  I smiled. “Thank you.”

  He pulled me to him before I could stop him and kissed the spot between my ribs and up the curve of my breast, taking
my nipple between his lips. His mouth was hot and he flickered his tongue against me and my head fell back.

  “Ryland,” I warned and pulled away from him before I got lost and pulled him up to me.

  “Don’t act like you don’t want it.” He teased.

  “I want you more.”

  “You can have me, hummingbird.”

  I pulled his lips to mine. “Good, because I wasn’t asking.”

  He laughed.

  I fumbled at first, but I was able to undress him easily enough. When his clothes were gone, I heard the evidence of protection before he laid me on the bed and moved between my thighs, and it felt so right.

  He moved my hair from my face and stroked my cheek, kissing me softly. His lips moved down my neck and he traced my collarbone with his tongue. He was full and hard against my thigh, and I lifted my hips, searching for him.

  I gasped when he finally filled me, and my fingers dug into his back. He buried his face in the curve of my neck.

  “You feel so damn good,” he growled and his reaction was incredibly sexy.

  He moved slowly at first, but soon the sensation took over both of us and he was moving faster. He grabbed the back of my thigh and lifted my leg higher and his hips moved, and instantly I could feel him everywhere.

  My back arched off the bed and he pushed deeper, moving faster. I cried his name as he brought us higher and closer to the center of the fire until we melted into each other.

  Araya

  Thirty-Two

  The firm knock on the door woke me and I rolled over in my bed and stretched. It was quiet, but I already knew Nina wasn’t here nor had been here.

  I had no idea what time it was and I looked to the window, but even if it wasn’t dark out, the sun had set far enough that I couldn’t detect any light from here.

  The knock came again, more impatiently this time, and I knew they weren’t going away. Getting out of bed, I searched for my clothes on the floor with my foot. After Ryland left, I hadn’t bothered getting dressed again.

  I buttoned the last button in haste when the knocking increased and walked slowly over to the door. I frowned, realizing I couldn’t feel anything on the floor anymore.