Silk

by Heidi McLaughlin

  I grab her shoulders firmly and look in her eyes. “Listen to me carefully, Madeleine. I told you I wanted to do this right. I promise you that I will not go behind your back. It’s just you. There’s no one else. I’ve wanted you since I first saw you, and I’m going to try my hardest not to fuck that up. So stop this nonsense of me being with other girls. It’s just you. Got it? I want to get you home because I know Melanie is worried sick about you, and I told her I would have you back by four. By the way, you’d better check your voicemail — she said she’s been trying to get in touch with you since early this morning.”

  At the end of my little speech, I kiss her firmly and passionately to get my point across. When I pull back, her eyes are wide and she’s out of breath.

  “Got it. Yup, definitely got it,” she stammers as she lightly traces her fingers over her swollen lips.

  I drive her back to the dorms and walk her to her door. She protests, saying that I don’t need to escort her to her door, and I just shoot her a knowing glare.

  “I told you that I’m doing this right. Now, shush.”

  She just rolls her eyes in response.

  “Will you be back at the gym now that we’ve made up?” God, I hope so. Those spandex running shorts are so worth getting up at the crack of dawn.

  “Do you want me there? I don’t want to make you feel like I’m cramping you or anything, but it is getting a little cold to run the trails anyway.”

  “You’ve been running the trails by yourself? That’s not safe, babe. What if something happened to you? Please say you’ll come back to the gym.”

  “Okay, then. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Thank you again, Reid, for everything. I know you said to stop saying that, but thank you. Being drugged aside, this morning was the best I’ve ever had.”

  She reaches up and gives me a sweet kiss before she disappears into her suite. As I watch her walk away, I feel another piece of that wall I once thought so impenetrable crack open.

  ***

  I’m excited as hell to get to the gym the next morning. If I said it was all about this new MMA class I enrolled in, I’d be lying my ass off. Maddy’s back today, and I love that I get to start my day with her. I meet her at the door.

  “Good morning, beautiful.” I lean down to kiss her, and she seems hesitant. “What? Don’t want to be seen in public with me?” I ask, partially kidding, but I really hope she’s okay with me kissing her, because being without her for the last twelve hours has been a killer.

  Definitely needed a cold shower to make it through the night.

  “No, that’s not it at all. I just thought you didn’t want to be seen with me. I figured the date was one thing. We didn’t really set any boundaries or anything yesterday, so I didn’t know what to expect this morning.”

  “I guess saying that I want you isn’t enough, huh?” I arch an eyebrow at her. “Let me clarify, Maddy. I not only want to go on your first official date with you, but I’d like to date you, exclusively. If that’s okay with you, I mean. I don’t want to be to presumptuous or anything.” Did those words just come out of my mouth? Exclusively? I am in deep here.

  “So what would that make me? What would that make us?”

  She really doesn’t get it, and her uncertainty makes me wonder if I’m not being clear enough.

  “Well, I’d like for you to be my girlfriend. When I thought you had been with Logan, I was beside myself with rage. Logan’s face can attest to that.” I snicker, and she shoots me a stern look.

  Okay, not funny yet.

  “And then when you were flirting with that guy at Shooters, well, I lost it then, too. I can’t say I’ll be any good at it — fuck, I’ve never done it before — but I’d like to have a real relationship with you. Something about you makes me want to try at least.”

  Her shocked silence has me teetering on the edge of sanity for a moment. I want to ask her what she thinks. I want to make some wiseass remark, but I don’t want to scare her away, and I don’t want to make her think I’m not serious. I’m very serious, so much so that it scares me, but I’ve never been more willing to try. So try I will.

  She still hasn’t said anything, so I break the silence.

  “Look, maybe that’s a bit too soon. I’m sorry. Maybe you’d feel more comfortable waiting to see how our date goes and then we’ll take it from there? Does that sound more reasonable?” I’ll wait a week for her. Might take a lot of cold showers, but I’ll wait.

  “No.”

  What the fuck did I do wrong? Why is she saying no?

  She catches my wounded look. In a split second her arms are around me, and she’s reaching up on her toes to kiss me. She tastes minty-fresh and steaming hot at the same time. Her tongue dances around mine passionately. God, I love her kisses. When she pulls back, I can’t help the confused look that creeps across my face.

  She sees it and begins her explanation.

  “What I mean, Reid, is that waiting until our date is most definitely not more reasonable. I’ll be honest. When you left me hanging on the dance floor that first time we met to go make out with the Barbie look-alike, I lost it, too. I do not like the idea of you with anyone else, either. So if you’d like to be my boyfriend, then nothing would make me happier than to be your girlfriend.” She smiles sweetly and reaches up on her toes again to plant a soft, innocent kiss on my lips and adds,

  “And just so you know, Reid, I’m scared, too. Maybe more than I let on. I am so scared of being hurt, but I feel safe with you. I believe you when you say that you’re going to try your hardest. I’m not certain that either one of us isn’t going to screw things up and that we won’t get hurt, but I know, or at least I hope, that we won’t hurt each other on purpose.”

  She feels safe with me.

  I have never felt as content as I do right now. She gets it. She’s just as scared as me, and she’s still willing to give it a try.

  “Maddy, I hope one day that I have half as much strength as you do. You amaze me. You know that, right?”

  “Me? Strong? Nah, you must be mistaking me for my kickass boyfriend who,” She glances down at her watch before she continues, “is going to be late to his little ‘fight club’ if he doesn’t get his ass in gear.”

  “Oh, shit, you’re right. I’ll catch you when we’re done, and I’ll walk you to the library.” I kiss her lightly and slap her playfully on the ass as she saunters into the gym ahead of me. She peers back at me and gives me an “I can’t believe you just did that” look. I just shrug my shoulders and smile back.

  My world feels more alive with her in it, and it’s nothing short of an act of God that she wants me in hers as well.

  ***

  Another reason I’m stoked to start this class is because Logan signed up with me. If that little shit thinks he’s going to get away with lying about sleeping with Maddy, then he’s got another thing coming to him. He was out last night after I brought Maddy home, so I haven’t even had a chance to lay into him. This actually works out perfectly. He has no idea how pissed I am, and we’re in a situation where I’m actually encouraged to beat the crap out of him.

  We’re both running a few minutes late, so there’s no one in the hallway when he greets me at the door to the wrestling room.

  “Hey, man. How was the rest of your weekend? I heard Maddy spent the night. Never knew you were the kind for sloppy seconds.” He moves to playfully elbow me in the side — like any of this is a fucking joke.

  I’ve got my forearm shoved up under his chin in a second flat. I can feel him struggling to swallow beneath my arm. His eyes are wide; I’ve got the added element of surprise on my side.

  “Fucker. You want to say that again?” I push harder against his throat. “You’re a real shit, Logan. So when were you going to tell me that you lied to me?”

  His face pales and I can see his eyes start to drift closed. Realizing that maybe I’m pushing just a little too hard, I pull my arm back away from his throat. Logan slides down the wall that is ho
lding him up, gasping for air along the way.

  When he catches his breath, I grab him by the collar of his T-shirt and pull him back up into my face.

  He’s regained his composure. “What the fuck is your problem, Reid? Did you all of a sudden learn how to respect women overnight or something? And was that before or after you fucked her?”

  Through a clenched jaw, I growl, “Take it back. Now, Logan.”

  “Take what back? You’re fucking crazy. I don’t even know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

  “You do, and I’m going to give you until the count of three to realize what I’m talking about and for you to apologize before I beat the shit out of you.”

  Logan is trying to process everything, but he’s just not doing it quickly enough for my liking. I begin counting. Maybe that’ll motivate him to eat his fucking words.

  “One.”

  “Reid, you’re out of your mind. You’re really going to hit a friend over a piece of ass?”

  He’s deflecting, trying to make me relent; it’s so not going to work here.

  “Two.”

  “She must’ve been really good, then. I mean, for you to go all ape-shit like this. Just remember I had her first, bro.”

  “Three.” I don’t even give him the chance to respond to my counting this time. I punch him in the gut, and he crumples in pain.

  Trying to catch his breath once again, he can barely get any words out. I bend down so my whispered words can only be heard by him.

  “Last chance, asshole. Take it back, or I’ll really make you pay.”

  He straightens up and looks me in the eyes; I see defeat in his, so I wait on his words.

  “Seriously, Reid? You’re going to beat the shit out of your friend over some girl.”

  “She is not just some girl. She is my girl, and I will not have you talking shit about my girl. She’s mine now, and you owe me an explanation, asshole. So either you start talking, or I keep hitting.”

  “She’s your girl? Should I expect an apocalypse next?” He’s trying to be funny, but I’m not in the mood at all.

  “Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but yes, she’s my girlfriend now.”

  “Well, then. You’re a lucky son of a bitch, because she’s a great lay!”

  “ Okay. Fine. We’ll do this your way, Logan.”

  I’m not going to give him the satisfaction of telling him what I want him to say. I’ll beat it out of him if that’s what he wants. I step to the door and hold it open for him. Extending my arm into the weight room in an “after you” gesture, I watch as he steps through the doors. I notice the caution with which he walks past me. Good, he’s scared. The fucker should be.

  After a brief warm-up and stretch, the instructor tells us to partner up for some sparring. I immediately move next to Logan. Keeping my voice low so only he can hear me, I say, “Your ass is mine, Logan.”

  Ben, the instructor, blows the whistle, and I’ve got Logan knocked down on the floor in about two seconds flat. He’s face down on the mat; my knee is shoved up into his kidney and I’ve got his right arm twisted up the center of his back. He twists his body to try to get out from under me, but I’m not about to let him up just yet. I push on my knee a little harder and pull his arm up further. His face contorts in pain, and I release him. He made his choice before. He could have come clean, but now I’m going to draw this out as much as possible.

  We both stand and start dancing around each other, lunging and making attempts at punches. He swings at me a few times, but I’m quicker on my feet, so he never lands a single one. In quick succession, I land several punches to his face. His cheek splits under his eye, and he must feel the blood trickling down his face. He wipes it away and looks down at his hand.

  “What the fuck?” he says.

  My response is simple — a punch to the other side of his face. I land a heel in his side and one more kick to his upper thigh before the instructor realizes what’s going on. Everyone else is standing around us, shocked at the ferocity with which I’m beating his ass.

  I’m enraged, and logical reasoning has completely left my mind. I get him down on the ground and start pounding him — his face, his stomach, his sides. He’s curled up into a fetal position. Forsaking all fronts at defending himself, he’s in preservation mode at this point.

  My voice is feral and beast-like. “I said take it back, now!”

  I feel someone pull me off Logan. Ben is between us as some of the other students work to pull us apart. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Maddy looking in through the glass wall that separates the wrestling room from the rest of the gym.

  I break free from their hold and storm out of the room to go to Maddy. She looks afraid and wide-eyed. I’m covered in sweat, and I’m fairly certain some of Logan’s blood is on my shirt. She tries to step back from me, but I just step closer.

  “Shh. It’s okay, Maddy. I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.” I extend my hand to her, hoping that she’ll reach back for mine. When our fingers interlock, I pull her with me into the wrestling room. My little spat with Logan has pretty much cleared the place out. Only Logan and Ben remain at this point.

  Ben speaks first. “You all cooled off now, Reid?”

  “Yeah, I’m good.” I speak to Ben, but my eyes are shooting daggers at Logan.

  “Good, because any more outbursts like that, and you’ll be kicked out of the class. You got it?”

  “Of course. This is the last time. I promise. Can the three of us just have a minute? Some things need to be said.”

  Ben looks among the three of us, and I can see the pieces fall into place in his head.

  “Sure, just try not to beat the shit out of him again. Okay?” Ben walks out of the room and the door clicks behind him.

  Maddy breaks the tension-filled silence. “Reid, what’s going on? You’re kind of scaring me here.”

  “Logan has something to say to you.” I shoot him a knowing glare.

  He doesn’t want to get beat up again, so he finally gives in. He faces Maddy and clears his throat nervously. “I’m sorry about lying to Reid about us.”

  Maddy looks shocked. She probably thought I would just let it go. Doesn’t she understand that I won’t stand for anyone talking shit about her?

  I nudge Logan with my elbow. He’s going to have to say more than that to make this okay.

  “I wanted to get under Reid’s skin after he punched me that night. I never should have dragged you into it. It was wrong to say that we slept together just to piss him off. I hope you can forgive me.”

  Maddy just nods in his direction and Logan then turns his attention to me.

  Holding out his hand as a means of a truce, he starts talking to me. “I’m sorry. If I would have known that you were serious about her, I wouldn’t have said those things. You’re just not the girlfriend type. Sorry for pissing you off and for talking shit about your girl. Friends?”

  I’m not ready to forgive him and a few “I’m sorrys,” no matter how sincere they might seem, are not going to be enough to make things better, but it’s a start. I do have to live with the guy, after all, so I shake his hand and say, “Yeah, we’re good. Just keep your fucking mouth shut from now on.”

  With that, Logan stalks out of the gym intent on licking his wounds.

  Maddy turns to me, and she looks like she doesn’t know what to say. After a few minutes of silence, she finally finds her voice.

  “You beat him up? For me?”

  I can’t tell if she’s impressed or appalled. “He lied about you. That’s not cool. I won’t stand for that. You’re mine, Maddy, and I won’t let him get away with it. So yeah, I beat him up for you.” She has to realize that I will never let anyone hurt her.

  “Yours?” Her voice is barely above a whisper.

  “Yes, Maddy. Mine. You’re mine. Please tell me you’re okay with that?”

  “And you get to be mine?” I hear the disbelief in her voice. Hell, even I find it hard to bel
ieve that I’ve turned over this new leaf so quickly.

  “Yes, babe. I get to be yours and you get to be mine. Deal?”

  She holds out her hand to shake on it, and I chuckle at her. I grab her hand, and my body zings to life under the heat of her stare. A simple touch from her is more exhilarating than any physical contact I’ve ever had before. We shake and she says, “Yes, it’s a deal. Under one condition.”

  Our hands are still locked together, and I lean in to kiss her softly on her quivering lips.

  “Anything for you, Maddy. Name your terms.”

  “First, stop beating up your friends for me.” She arches her eyebrow at me, indicating that she’s not pleased with my antics.

  “As long as they keep their mouths shut, we’re good on that front.” I kiss her again and prompt her for her next term.

  “And second, next time you have class, can you promise not to wear a shirt? You’re freaking hot!” She places her hands on my chest and stretches up on her toes to kiss me.

  I can’t hold down the smile that creeps across my face.

  “I can definitely work with those terms, love. Now, let’s hit the showers and get ready for class.”

  We kiss briefly before heading our separate ways. If she didn’t believe me earlier that I was in this relationship 100 percent, then she sure as hell believes me now.

  ***

  Walking Maddy around campus after we leave the gym feels like walking on a cloud. While I would love to spend all day with her, she’s in class until after three, which gives me the perfect opportunity to have lunch with Melanie without Maddy knowing.

  I know. I know. Honesty and openness and all that, but my intentions are good. I fully intend to tell Maddy about my lunch with Mel tonight. I just didn’t want her to be all worried about it beforehand. Plus, after my “open mouth, insert foot” comment yesterday morning about her father, I want to make sure that I don’t say anything else stupid.

  The other part of my plan is to win Melanie over. I already know that I am not her favorite person, but Melanie is the only person Maddy has ever let in. I need to be on her good side.