Silk

by Heidi McLaughlin

  ***

  Chapter 33

  Harrison

  I made the mistake of stopping at the store before heading home. The thought of sitting in my empty house, alone, did not sit well with me. Except now I sit in my empty house, alone, hurt and drunk. And I think I’ve broken my hand, but that’s neither here nor there.

  I flex my fingers into a fist and back out again. The pain is a dull ache now, but that’s likely to be from the amount of beer I’ve consumed. The bottles are lining up nice and perfect on my coffee table.

  I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here, but the sun is up. That can’t be a good sign. I tip my newest bottle back and take in the contents in one swig. I set the bottle down next to the others and lean back. Each bottle mocks me. From the first to the last, each one is laughing at me.

  Her words replay over and over in my head.

  I met your girlfriend.

  I met your girlfriend.

  I met your girlfriend.

  If I knew how to get hold of Alicia, I would. Not that I’d know what to say. It’s not like we have history. I know nothing about her, except that she’s an evil, conniving bitch hell-bent on making my life hell. We weren’t a couple. We weren’t in love. We didn’t have a falling out and decide to go our separate ways. That’s what Katelyn doesn’t understand. I haven’t seen her since the day she left Quinn with me. My last image of her is her retreating backside as she hightailed it out of my apartment.

  She believes the lies. Every single one of them, and for the life of me, I can’t understand why Alicia would say those things or take the time to doctor the photos to show us together. This would all make sense if Alicia and I had broken up recently. I can see a woman scorned making up some shit, but this doesn’t make sense.

  I pop the top off another beer and realize I’m almost out, which is very unlucky for me. It’s not like I can go down to the store to get some more. I don’t think I can even make it to the bathroom without falling over.

  I down the contents, as my heart kindly reminds me that I cried in front of her. I fucking cried like a god damn baby. Worse yet, it didn’t even faze her. She didn’t care. She just wanted me out of her house.

  And I left.

  I left because I can only take so much rejection.

  I lay back and close my eyes. She flashes before me. She’s smiling one minute and the next, she’s kicking me out of her house and out of her life. Tears seep down my face. I hate it. I hate myself for crying over her. I should know better.

  The clanking of bottles wakes me. I roll over, suddenly.

  Mistake.

  I groan and hold my head as I try to sit up. My eyes are blurry, laden with sleep. It’s dark out, which means I’ve slept the day away.

  Liam comes into view. He’s carrying a garbage can and picking up my bottles.

  “I’ll do that,” I croak out.

  “I got it,” he says shortly.

  I stand, weary that I consumed an abundance of alcohol. I make my way to the bathroom. I shut the door and lean against it, exhausted. My hand throbs and is black and blue. I have to lean my head against the wall while I relieve myself. I can barely stand on my own, clearly I’m still drunk or extremely hung over.

  I drag myself back into the living room, which is now clean. I sit down next to Liam, who’s flipping through my newest DRUM! Magazine. I don’t know why he’s here; maybe Katelyn went and told him that I walked out on her.

  “Quinn wants to know when he can come home,” he says nonchalantly. I look at him like he has three heads.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Quinn’s been at my house for two days now. I guess he’s a bit anxious and wondering what happened to his dad.”

  “Fuck,” I yell. I rake my hand over my face, pulling at my hair. I’ve never left him, at least not unintentionally. I’ve always made him a priority and now look at me. Some chick breaks up with me and I forget about my son. Guess I’m not making dad of the year any time soon. “I’ll go get him.”

  “Not yet,” he says. He sets the magazine down and stands. “We need to go to the hospital first and have your hand looked at it.”

  I look down and shake my head. “It’s fine. I’ll go after. I just want to get Quinn.” I turn and look out the window and imagine Katelyn walking up to the door. “I think I’m going to head back to L.A. for a bit.”

  “Well Quinn can stay with us.”

  “Nah, man, it’s cool.” I turn back and look at him and shrug.

  Liam steps forward. “Don’t do this, Harrison.”

  “Why not? You going to tell me she’s not worth it? Because we both know that’s bullshit and I’m not going to stay around here where I’m not wanted.” I kick the chair next to me and watch it fall to the ground.

  “She’ll figure it out.”

  “Jesus Christ, Liam, there’s nothing to figure out. She believed some fucking whore that she doesn’t even know over me. I spent so much time trying to show her that she can trust me and for what, so some two-bit bitch can tell her otherwise?”

  Liam shakes his head. I don’t mean to take all this out on him, but he’s here and he’s going to defend one of his oldest friends. I just don’t want to be where I’m not wanted. She doesn’t have to spell it out, she was very clear.

  “Something’s wrong.”

  “You think?” I roar. “I love that woman and she dismissed me like yesterday’s trash over some bullshit photos. Something’s wrong all right and the answer’s in L.A. I’m going to find Alicia and find out what she wants.”

  “I think it’s Sam.”

  “What?”

  “I think this is all Sam’s doing.”

  “The tour, yes, I’ll give you that, but she doesn’t know Alicia.”

  “How do you know?”

  I ponder his question for a moment, realizing that I don’t know. I don’t remember anything from the night that I met Alicia.

  “Fuck me, are you serious?”

  “Come here, let me show you something.” I follow him into the kitchen and pull out the chair next him. The pictures that Katelyn threw at me, along with some others are spread out on the table. I pick up one of Katelyn and me and shake my head.

  “How can she think I want anyone but her?” I toss the picture down.

  “Women are easily influenced. Remember when I told you about Sam stopping by the shop and talking to Josie? Josie went nuts and demanded that I give her Noah. When she finally told me what was going on, I couldn’t believe she’d listen to Sam, but I know why she did.”

  “Yeah, but why would Katelyn listen to Alicia? She kept calling her my girlfriend and said I was cheating.” I set my head in my hands and instantly wish I didn’t. “Fuck this hurts.”

  “I told you.”

  I shake my head. “How did you know?”

  “The hole in the wall was all the evidence I needed.”

  “Perfect.”

  “Anyway, after Katelyn came over yesterday I started piecing some shit together. I went back through old band photos from the early days, shit Sam used to bug me with and I found one of you and Alicia.” He hands me the photo. I stare at her, cognizant that this is really the first time I’m seeing her since that fateful day. She’s a blur in my life, but now I have something to show Quinn if he ever asks.

  “Sam took these.” He hands me a stack of Alicia and I from the night we made Quinn. I can see a lot of Quinn in her, with her smile and the way her nose wrinkles when she’s laughing. If circumstances were different, I’d probably date her.

  “And I don’t know who took this one, but I’m willing to bet Sam didn’t expect me to have it.” Liam hands me a photo. He doesn’t need to stay anything. The picture speaks for itself.

  “Is that money?” I ask.

  “Looks like it.”

  “Why would Sam give Alicia money?”

  Liam shrugs. “To drug you.”

  “Son of a bitch.”

  I get up and pace.
Every part of me hurts right now, and there isn’t shit I can do about it. It seems ever since I met Sam Moreno, my life has been nothing but turmoil. If it wasn’t band business, she was up in my personal life like she owned me. And maybe she did, and I was just too dumb to understand my contract. I don’t know, but drugging someone and having it result in a pregnancy is the lowest someone can go. Seems like it wasn’t just Liam’s life she was hell-bent on ruining.

  “This doesn’t help me.”

  “I know,” Liam sighs. “But at least we know why Alicia did what she did.”

  “Do we? I don’t know shit, except that Alicia somehow knew where to find Katelyn and gave her a bunch of phony photos.”

  “That’s not all.”

  I stop in my tracks and look out the window. Liam clears his throat. “What else?”

  “Josie says that Alicia told Katelyn that you guys are still together.”

  I nod. “I figured as much, with some of the things Katelyn was saying to me. Thing is, Liam, Quinn doesn’t know Alicia, so if I’m in some type of relationship with his mom, don’t you think she’d be around?” I push off the counter and walk back over to photos. “Show me the years of pictures of us together as a couple. Wouldn’t we ever venture out of the house as a family?” I lean over the table, careful not to put any pressure on my hand. “She believes this, not me.”

  “So what, you’re going to leave? You’re going to take Quinn out of school and go back to L.A.?”

  “I came here for her and she doesn’t want me. It would be one thing if we hadn’t been together, but I’m in love with her and I can’t… I won’t sit by and watch her be with someone else.”

  “You love her?”

  “You know I do.”

  “I know, but this is the first time you’ve admitted it.” Liam sighs and I know he’s thinking about what the future is going to hold for the band. “Can you at least do me a favor?”

  “Sure,” I agree.

  “Wait until after the wedding. It’s just a few weeks away and I could use my best friend here, especially after Josie dropped a bomb the other night.”

  I nod. Staying until the wedding is the least I can do. “What’d she say?”

  “Nick’s back and we’re having dinner tonight with him and his new wife.”

  Liam doesn’t wait for my reaction. He starts packing up the photos. He leaves a few of the ones of Alicia and me on the table. I don’t know whether I should thank him or not, but I suppose it will be nice when Quinn asks about her. I can at least show him a picture of the both of us before the night turned into a haze.

  “Anyway, he’s back and Josie wants to be friendly. I want to hate the guy, but can’t because my son likes him, and bitched all throughout football on how bad it sucked that Nick wasn’t his coach.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to go to dinner and play nice in the sandbox.”

  “Lucky you,” I say, ducking before Liam can hit me with the box of photos.

  I arrive at Liam and Josie’s with my hand wrapped in a nice black cast. Liam is going to love it. I’ll have to find a way to either play with one hand or figure out how to hold my drumstick. Somehow I think taking a break isn’t an option.

  Quinn jumps into my arms as soon as I’m through the door. He holds me tight. His head is pushing into the crook of my neck. I’ve never done this to him. He’s always known where I am and when I’ll be home.

  “I’m sorry, Quinn. I should’ve called.”

  “It’s okay, dad, I was scared though.”

  “I know, buddy. I won’t do it again. I promise.”

  He looks at me, his eyes puffy. I can tell he’s been crying. He may look tough on the outside with his black eye, but deep down, he’s still just a little boy. He leans in and whispers, “Peyton is downstairs waiting for you.”

  “Do you mind if I go down there?”

  He shakes his head. I set him down and ruffle his hair.

  “What happened?” he asks as he looks at my cast.

  “Very stupid adult stuff,” I say with a shrug. He’ll see the damage at home and ask why. I won’t lie to him, but there’s not much to tell. It’s not like he knew Katelyn and I were together. I never got the chance to tell him. “I’ll be back in a bit, or just come downstairs when you’re ready.”

  I walk into the studio and find Peyton banging on my drums. She’s wearing headphones that are too big for her, but she’s having fun. She smiles at me. I have to paste on a smile because it’s killing me that I’m not going to be a part of her life anymore.

  “Whatcha doin’?” I ask, pulling up a stool next to her.

  “I’m practicing.”

  “Well, you sound wonderful.” I’m rewarded with yet another smile, something I’ve rarely seen from her.

  “Harrison?” I look up to find Noah and Quinn standing in the doorway.

  “What’s up?”

  “We have an idea and we need your help.”

  Noah and Quinn step into the studio and shut the door. Noah tells me their idea and I ask Quinn and Peyton if the both of them, as well as Elle are all in on this. They nod. I can’t help but smile at how enthusiastic they are and agree to help them.

  ***

  Chapter 34

  Katelyn

  “You’ve come back early, why?” Mr. Powell hands me a cup of coffee. I was only in Los Angeles for a few days, but the temperature difference is enough that I’m cold, even though I love Beaumont in the winter.

  “I missed the girls.” That is what I’m going with. He doesn’t need to know the sordid details of what happened with Harrison and me. Truth is, I’m not sure how to explain it. All I know is my heart is breaking all over again, but I have vowed to myself that I’m not going to let it affect me. I need to be strong for the girls. This bump… or whatever you want to call it, will pass.

  “They missed you, especially Elle.”

  “Not Peyton?”

  Mr. Powell leans forward and sets his cup on the table. “Peyton is hurting, Katie, and she’ll do whatever she can to make you suffer for it. She spent most of her time in Mason’s room and when I’d check on her, she’d ask me to tell her a story. I spent a glorious day remembering my son with his daughter.”

  I wipe at my face. Listening to Mr. Powell talk about Mason and Peyton makes me ache to see Mason just one more time. To tell him how I feel and how much we love him.

  “Elle talks about Harrison a lot,” he adds.

  My heart stops at the sound of his name. It’s been two days and he hasn’t called. I half expected him to show up this morning to mow my lawn, but I guess I severed that relationship when I told him to leave.

  “Does that bother you?”

  Mr. Powell shakes his head. “I thought it would, but she speaks so highly of him that I’m proud you’ve found someone to help fill the void that Mason has left.”

  I’m left silenced. I don’t know how to respond. I sip my coffee, thinking about how I can change the subject. I can’t tell him that I’ve ended things with Harrison. I just can’t.

  “I think you and the girls should move in here.”

  “What?” I choke out.

  “This is too much house for me. It’s a four-bedroom home and I can’t maintain it. I don’t want to sell it either, so the only logical thing if for you and the girls to move in and when you take the next step with Harrison, he and his son will fit nicely in here. This house needs a family, not an old man.”

  His words throw me. I never thought he’d be accepting of another man the way he is and to suggest that we live together, blows me away.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  He smiles although it doesn’t reach his eyes. “You say yes.”

  “Where will you go?”

  Mr. Powell rubs his hands down the legs of his pants. “I was thinking of travelling some or I could live at your place.”

  “We’re really pregnant!”

  “Very,” I say showing him
the picture.

  “Why does the baby have two heads?” I shake my head. Sometimes he’s the poster child for dumb football players, I swear.

  “Twins,” I say quietly. We can’t afford one baby, let alone two.

  “I made two babies?”

  I roll my eyes. “Yes, Mason, your super human sperm created not one, but two babies that have taken over space in my body.”

  Mason fist pumps. I don’t think he understands the magnitude of what’s happening here.

  “You know two babies means double everything.”

  “I know, I can count.”

  “Of course you can.” I sit down on the couch and cradle my head. I don’t know how we’re going to make it. We live in a two-bedroom apartment with Josie and Noah, there’s no way we can add two more of everything there. “We have to move.”

  Mason sits down next to me and pulls me to him. “I talked to my dad the other day. He and mom suggested we move into the house until we can save for a down payment on our own place. He says that we can take what we’d spend in rent and put it away.”

  “Is that what you want to do?” The thought of living with the Powells doesn’t exactly appeal to me, but living with them is better than living with my parents.

  Mason shrugs. “I don’t know, think about it. Mom would be there to help with the babies and you know she wants to.”

  I nestle into the side of his neck. His thumb is moving back and forth along my abdomen. “We’ll never have alone time.”

  Mason adjusts and pulls me into his lap. “Seriously? I’m fairly sure you and I have had a lot of alone time in that house. For all we know, these guys were created there.” He pulls up my shirt and kisses my stomach.

  “If you think we should move to your parent’s home, then I’m okay with it.”

  “I do. Just think about how much fun Mason Junior and Mason Junior Junior will have there.”

  “Oh my god, Mason, we are not naming our children that.” I punch him lightly in the shoulder.

  He pulls me into a hug. I cling to him as if it’s last time I’ll hug him like this.

  “You know the girls spent their first Christmas here.”

  “And others,” he adds.

  “After Mason died, I realized I wasn’t going to be able to make the house payments by myself and Liam helped. He told me that I can’t lose the house that holds all of their memories of Mason, but this is where we brought them home too.”