Silk

by Heidi McLaughlin

  The flowers he had delivered on a daily basis now included small chocolates and sweet little notes that made me blush. And the sex between us—though it’d always been amazingly mind-blowing, was becoming way more passionate and intense.

  Tonight, he was away at some conference in L.A. and I was missing him—truly missing him, and I was too scared to acknowledge the exact reasoning behind that.

  “Some men really need to take a class on the proper way to please a woman.” Helen set down her glass. “It’s so sad when they don’t know how. These last few men have forced me to invest in a brand new vibrator. I’m thinking about starting my own website and giving free pointers.”

  I sighed. “Do you keep track of how many men you’ve been with, or is that completely pointless now?”

  “I stopped counting at thirty.”

  “Thirty?”

  “Or was it forty?” She shrugged. “Men do it all the time. I don’t ever want to be married, so why not?”

  “You don’t ever want to settle down and—”

  “Be with one man for the rest of my life? No. I’ve learned from the failure of my parents and all my friends’ marriages. No offense.”

  “None taken.”

  “How’s your cougar romance going?”

  “I’m not a cougar…” I shook my head. “And it’s not a romance. It’s just…dating.”

  “Exclusive dating?” She laughed.

  “Yes…Where’s Sandra?”

  “She’s not coming—something about a last minute date with that hot doctor you set her up with?”

  “Oh! Well, good for her. I’m glad they’re still going out.”

  “She said he’s an animal in bed. I can’t believe you passed him up! Then again…” She smiled. “Never mind.”

  I set my drink down. “What happens when me and Jonathan don’t work out?”

  “What?”

  I decided to finally lay my pent-up insecurities on the table. I’d been holding them in for far too long and I wouldn’t dare tell Jonathan. It would just make him become even more wonderful and make me seem insane for even questioning this.

  “You know we’re not going to last, Helen,” I said. “It’d never work. Everything that attracted him to me was superficial…Once those things wear off and he realizes that he could have someone half my age with half the baggage, it’ll be over…Then what happens? Do I date someone my age because dating a younger man in the first place is a bad idea? Do I date again at all? Or do I become like you and simply have sex with random men whenever I’m lonely?”

  “Are you deliberately trying to kill my buzz or is this something—”

  “I’m serious…I can’t talk to anyone else about this. There are some days when I honestly feel insecure about the whole thing.”

  “Everyone feels insecure from time to time.” Helen sighed. “It’s normal.”

  “But this is different. I don’t know how to deal with his—”

  “Listen to me, Claire. Just stop. You think too much—wayyy too much. You know what you should do right now?”

  “What?”

  “Text him and tell him that you miss him.”

  “Huh?”

  “Tell him that you miss him.”

  “I don’t miss him.” I lied. “I saw him a few days ago. Besides, he’s at some conference in L.A.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to have all the answers right now. If you two work out, great. If not, great. Take it as a learning experience. You don’t have to have a happily ever after with every guy you date. Just date, and for now be honest with yourself. You miss him.”

  I tossed back a drink and decided to take her advice. I texted him. “I miss you…”

  My phone vibrated immediately. “Where are you?”

  “At a bar with Helen.”

  “Which bar?”

  “Blackbird.”

  “Stay there. I’m on my way to get you.”

  “I thought you were in L.A?”

  “I am. It’s only a one hour flight (don’t worry) back to San Fran. I’ll see you soon.”

  “Was that so hard to do?” Helen downed her gin and tonic. “Now, order me a new drink—an extremely stiff one. Your depressing psycho-babble completely wore off the effects of my last one. I didn’t even feel it burn.”

  We both laughed and filled each other in on what had happened over the past few months: She’d officially been named “The Lawyer of the Year,” and had experienced “the sensations of a lifetime” with one of the other nominees when she’d gone to Vegas.

  I was telling her about me and Jonathan’s most recent date when I felt my heart speeding up and fluttering against my chest, when I felt my body letting me know that he was somewhere nearby.

  I turned around to look for him and saw him standing right behind me.

  “Good evening, Claire.” He grinned. “Hello, Helen.”

  “Well, that’s my cue.” Helen smiled at us both. “I’ll see you two—”

  “Are you okay to drive yourself back?” he asked.

  “Oh, I’m not driving. I’m going to call a cab.”

  He shook his head. “I’ll have my driver take you home.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely.”

  We walked outside where his town car was waiting and Jonathan helped her inside. “Have a good night, Helen. I’ll see you again soon I’m sure.” He shut the door and waited for the car to drive off.

  “Come on.” He clasped my hand and walked me two blocks down, into a private parking garage.

  We took the elevator up to the third level and walked over to his car. I was about to head over to the passenger side, but he pushed me against the car and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing me until I was out of breath.

  “I missed you too…” he whispered as he continued to make love to my lips. “Where do you want to go?”

  “What do you mean? I—”

  He tenderly bit my bottom lip to each syllable. “Where. Do. You. Want. To. Go?”

  “Your place?”

  “That’s forty minutes away…” He moved his kisses down to my collarbone. “Pick somewhere else.”

  “My place?”

  “Thirty minutes away…”

  “A hotel?”

  “Which one?”

  “The Ritz Carlton around the corner?”

  “Good choice.”

  Chapter 24

  Jonathan

  “Ahhhhh…” Claire reached up and grabbed fistfuls of my hair.

  I bent down and kissed her neck, thrusting myself deeper and deeper inside of her. “You’re all I can think about…I can’t concentrate on anything but you…” I breathed heavily. I caressed her breasts and briefly covered her mouth with mine, reveling in the feel of her soft lips. “Tell me you feel the same way…”

  “I…I…” Her hands moved from my head to my back, and she dug her nails into my bare skin. She tried to slow the tempo by grabbing onto my waist, but I pinned her arms above her head.

  I took one of her nipples into my mouth, teasingly biting it as I sped up my thrusts. “Tell me.” I bit down on it harder. “Tell me right now…”

  “I…Yes…Yes…” She shut her eyes and her body writhed underneath mine, climaxing at the exact same second as me. She shook for several seconds, and I let myself slowly fall on top of her.

  We lay entwined for what felt like forever—gazing into each other’s eyes, smiling every few seconds, laughing at nothing at all.

  After we’d checked out of the Ritz Carlton this morning, I’d decided to give her a tour of another one of my yachts—one of the ones I hadn’t sailed in a while. The tour only lasted two minutes though; we never made it past the bedroom.

  “Am I hurting you?” I felt her trying to move her shoulder.

  “A little.” She laughed and I rolled off of her.

  I pulled her into my arms so we were face to face and sighed. “What are you thinking about now?”

  “Not
hing…”

  “Your eyes give you away all the time.” I smiled. “That’s how I know when you’re lying to me.”

  “I can talk to you about anything, right?”

  “Of course you can.” I kissed her. “I don’t want any boundaries between us.”

  She nodded and lay there silently, not saying another word.

  “That wasn’t a question that led into another question?” I tried to read her eyes.

  She laughed. “Not really…I just wanted to know.”

  “Hmmm. Would you mind going to dinner with me and my mom next weekend?”

  “You two are on good terms now?” She raised her eyebrow.

  “I don’t know…I walked out on our last therapy session, so I wouldn’t necessarily say good terms…”

  “You don’t think you can have dinner without arguing with her?”

  Not unless you’re there…”I would just feel more comfortable if you came with me. That’s all.”

  She smiled and moved closer to me. “Okay. I’ll come.”

  “If you fuck this dinner up, I will never forgive you.” I drove my car into the turnaround and looked over at my mother. “Do you understand me?”

  “What are you talking about, Jonathan? And watch how you talk to me. I’m still your mother… How can I possibly mess up a dinner?”

  “You’ve messed up everything else in my life. I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

  She looked hurt. “You’re never going to forgive me for the past are you? Are you ever going to get over it?”

  I didn’t answer her. I waited for the valet to walk up to my window and handed him the keys. “Let’s go.”

  The last few therapy sessions we’d had were nothing like the ones we had before; they were brutal. I’d walked out on her three times because I refused to buy into her “I don’t really remember that happening” bullshit. I felt like she was copping out and not being completely honest. The only reason I even agreed to a dinner with her was because the therapist said we needed to try something new.

  In fact, I almost called the dinner off until Claire encouraged me to go through with it. She thought I needed to give my mother a second chance since this was the longest she’d ever been clean.

  I walked over to my mother’s side and helped her out of the car. I linked her arm in mine and walked inside the restaurant.

  “Mr. Statham,” the hostess said, “your other guest has already arrived. Shall I take you to the table first or to the gallery room?”

  “The table.”

  “Right this way.” She led us onto an elevator and up to the top level. She walked us past a packed room of patrons and into an empty room with one table in the center of the floor.

  My eyes quickly veered towards Claire. She was standing near the windows in a dark gray gown that perfectly accentuated her sexy curves. She must have heard us enter, because she immediately turned around and smiled at me.

  I walked over to the table and pulled out her chair. “You look stunning tonight.” I kissed the nape of her neck.

  “Thank you…” She sat down.

  “I agree.” My mother nodded as I pulled out her chair next. “You’re a vision, sweetheart.”

  “Thank you very much, Mrs. Statham.”

  A waiter came over and cleared his throat. “Good evening ladies, Mr. Statham. Would you like to start off with our signature wine for the night, or would like to order something more unique?”

  “My date and I will be having the signature wine. Mrs. Statham,” I said as I looked at my mother, “will be having your best juice.” I caught her rolling her eyes.

  “Very well sir.” He sauntered off.

  I was about to strike up a conversation, but a different waiter came over and set down our drinks—just that quickly. He politely went over the chef’s menu for the night and made suggestions, practically ordering the food for us.

  When he walked away, I cleared my throat. “How was your day today, mother?”

  “It was pretty good…They let me run the shop by myself. They’re going to let me choose the new treatments for the windows tomorrow. I already know what kind I want to get.”

  “What type is that?” Claire asked.

  “Woven bamboo shades. One of our customers told me that they would make the place look more authentic, so I think I’m going to take the advice.”

  “Yellow or brown?” Claire raised her eyebrow.

  “Brown.” My mother sipped her juice. “The walls in the shop are all painted in earth tones so it’ll match better.”

  I put my arm around Claire’s shoulders. “I guess I need to start paying attention to those HGTV shows…”

  “That makes two of us.” My mother shook her head. “So Claire, what do you do at Statham Industries?”

  “I’m a marketing director. I oversee the slogans and artwork for promotional campaigns.”

  “Did you do any work for the sPhone blue? Those commercials are beyond beautiful.”

  I smiled. “She did.” I listened as my mother talked about her inability to work anything my company produced, as she and Claire talked about their favorite books; I’d somehow forgotten that my mother was a huge literature fan before she got hooked on drugs.

  The waiters discreetly refilled our glasses and brought out the courses one by one.

  I was in the middle of tasting the chef’s mushroom risotto when I noticed Claire scrolling away on her phone. “Who are you texting?”

  “Ashley and Caroline…I swear they think every time I go out is an opportunity to borrow my car…I’m just going to give in and buy them separate cars for their birthday. They do deserve it…”

  “I’ll help you pick the cars out.” I squeezed her hand. And I’ll buy them…

  “You have daughters?” My mother smiled. She seemed like she was actually trying to make this dinner go smoothly. “How old are they?”

  “They’re sixteen...”

  “Wow, twins? I have a friend in my therapy group with twins. She swears they’re a handful, but I think it’s because they’re fraternal. A boy and a girl going through puberty at the same time? That’s got to be rough.”

  We all laughed.

  The hostess from downstairs walked over to our table. “Excuse me,” she said. “I don’t mean to interrupt your dinner, but the gallery room is only going to be open for one more hour. Would you like to take a tour now? In keeping with the artist’s vision, the women start on one side of the gallery and the men start on the other. It enhances the experience.”

  “I’d love to.” My mother stood up. “What about you, Claire?”

  “Yeah, it sounds great. I’ll come right after I finish my dessert.” She smiled.

  “Do you want me to wait for you?”

  “No, you don’t have to.” Claire shook her head. “I’ll be down in five minutes max.”

  My mom looked at me with a glance that said “I’m really trying here…” and I smiled at her. I was shocked at how well she’d behaved herself tonight; I didn’t think things could have gone any better.

  As the hostess escorted my mom downstairs, I looked over at Claire. “Thank you so much for coming, tonight. It really means a lot to me.”

  “You’re more than welcome. I think you two are going to be okay in the long run.”

  “Let’s hope so. Hurry up and finish your dessert. I want us to see the gallery.”

  “It’s not like we can see it together. The hostess just said—”

  “I don’t give a damn about what enhances the experience…” I brought her head close to mine and whispered in her ear. “Part of the exhibit is a pitch black room and I’m going to experience that with you.”

  I moved Claire’s dress back over her shoulders and gave her one last kiss. We walked through the rest of the exhibit hand in hand—leaning on one another, discussing what we did and didn’t like.

  Once we reached the last piece, a huge plastic “X” covered in polka dots and graffiti, I spotted my mother by
the doors.

  She walked over and reached for Claire’s hand. “It was a pleasure getting to know you better tonight, honey. Maybe next week we could all do it again?”

  Claire shook her hand and nodded. “Definitely. That’d be great.”

  “Greg is going to take me home, Jonathan. I texted him while we were eating dinner. I figured you and Claire may want to spend more time together tonight.”

  Who is this woman and where the hell is my real mother?

  “Thank you.” I gave her a hug and whispered, “Thank you so much. I’m sorry for what I said earlier in the car.” I let her go and watched her walk outside to the town car.

  As soon as the car pulled off, I pulled Claire into my arms and kissed her like my life depended on it—holding her body tightly against mine, slipping my tongue deeper into her mouth each time she moaned. “Come home with me tonight.”

  Chapter 25

  Claire

  I was breaking up with Jonathan. Today.

  I couldn’t take this shit anymore. It was way too much and I was tired of crying about it alone. I needed to end this affair for my own sanity—for my health. I knew that he and I were bound to break up down the line anyway, so as amazing as our relationship had been, it was time to cut him off.

  He had no idea what I’d been going through over the past few weeks, and I wasn’t going to tell him. He’d put the pieces together with time, and by then he’d have hopefully found someone who was a much better match.

  I’d been contemplating this for a while, but once I cried myself to sleep last night while lying in his arms, I knew that letting him go was what I needed to do.

  I didn’t eat lunch with him this afternoon, and I answered all of his sweet random texts with a “We’re still really busy down here, but I promise I’ll come see you later.” I didn’t bother opening any of the notes on his latest flower and chocolate deliveries either; I didn’t want to back out of this.