Clutch (Burning Saints MC)

by Jack Davenport

  Clutch didn’t pull in to the parking lot. In fact, he didn’t even turn his head in my direction. He simply rode on, and that’s what I needed to do, once and for all. In that moment, I resolved myself to putting Nicholas ‘Clutch’ Christakos out of my mind permanently.

  I got in my Jeep, started it up and turned on the satellite radio. “Don’t Need Ya” by Melody Morgan was playing and I turned up the volume. Perfect timing for a post-breakup anthem. Not that Clutch, and I had broken up, because we were never together in the first place, but...

  Stop thinking about him!

  I cranked the volume to the max, and pumped up the bass; pushing the Jeep’s speakers to the limit, as I sang along, “This is my life, and I’m sayin’ bye bye, I’m sick of your lies, so look right in my eyes. I don’t need ya, I don’t want ya, I never needed you anywaaaaaaay,” I belted out before putting the Jeep in reverse and backing out only to see Clutch in my rearview mirror, standing directly behind my Jeep.

  “Oh my God!” I screamed as I slammed on my breaks.

  “Sorry,” he called out. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  I opened the door and flew out of the car. “I could’ve run you over. What were you doing sneaking up on me like that?”

  “You were in there singing away, I didn’t expect you to back out so suddenly. You really are dangerous when you’re doing carpool karaoke, aren’t you?” he asked with a smile.

  That smile. The smile. The please, please, please for the love of all things bend me over a chair and have your way with me smile. I must be strong and resist.

  “What do you want, Clutch, and why are lurking around my clinic?”

  “I wasn’t lurking or sneaking, I swear. In fact, I just rode by and decided to stop in,” he said.

  “Where’s your bike?” I asked.

  “I... ah... I parked Charlene in the parking lot of the law firm next to you and walked over here. I thought maybe if you heard her pipes, or saw me coming, you’d go into your office and hide from me or something. And, Lucille’s still missing, so I couldn’t drive her.”

  I dropped my guard just a little. “Clutch, I’m really sorry about Lucille—”

  “Doc, please don’t say another word. I’m the only one that needs to apologize here. I was a total ass and I should have never blamed you for Lucille. Leaving her in the street was my fault and it was stupid but leaving you like that is the biggest regret of my entire life.” Clutch moved closer to me, but I wasn’t afraid. The look in his eyes and the sound of his voice told me that I could believe him, but there was still no way in hell I could trust him.

  “I appreciate that Clutch, I really do but—”

  “Nicky,” he said taking my hands. “Please call me Nicky. I don’t want to be Clutch to you. I want you to forget you ever even met that guy.”

  “But, you are that guy. Your life is dangerous and crazy. You pulled a gun on me, for crying out loud,” I said.

  “My other regret,” he said, breaking contact. “I was trying to protect you. Without getting into too much detail, my club has enemies, and I’m pretty sure someone from a rival club was at your condo complex that night.”

  “This is supposed make me feel better?” I asked.

  “No, I’m just trying to explain myself a little, and to be more open with you,” he said.

  “Why? There’s no ‘us’ to work on, and we both know that any attempt would be a bad idea. Besides, even if I wanted to be with you, and I don’t you can’t because of Minus.”

  “Screw Minus and his rules, I can be with whoever I want to be with.” he said, puffing out his chest slightly.

  “But I don’t want to be with you, Clutch. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with the best rice and beans in town.”

  “Doc, please, have dinner with me tomorrow night, and if you never want to talk with me again after that, I’ll understand, and I swear you’ll never see my face again.”

  He stood straight with the earnestness of a cub scout. I swear I’d never seen anything more adorable in my entire life.

  “Dinner only,” I said firmly.

  “Eight o’clock okay?” he asked, to which I nodded. “I have a quick meeting beforehand, so I’ll text you the address and meet you there if that’s okay.”

  “Don’t be late,” I warned, and he simply smiled back.

  His charm was infuriating.

  * * *

  Clutch

  I felt like I was trying to woo two women. Later on, I’d be focusing on Eldie, but right now I had to close the deal with Minus. More accurately I had to pitch the deal and not have him laugh me out of the room. He’d been meeting with each of the officers on-on-one regarding our business ideas, which was fine by me. The fewer fucking meetings in my life the better. Besides, I didn’t need a whole room full of assholes laughing at by dumbass idea.

  “Hey, Nicky. Come on in,” Minus said, looking up from his laptop.

  “I still can’t get over seeing you sitting at Cutter’s desk, in his old office.”

  “You and me both. Cricket says we can order new furniture when the club starts turning a profit,” he said.

  “When’s that supposed to be?”

  “2037,” he replied and we both laughed.

  “Sit down, man. You want a beer? Minus asked.

  “Nah. I’m cutting down actually,” I replied. “I’m hoping to have reason to stay closer to my fighting weight.

  “You got a fight coming up?”

  “No, but that’s sort of what I want to talk to you about. About my business plan that is. I don’t have a... fancy presentation or anything... I—”

  “Nicky. It’s okay brother. What the fuck are you so nervous about? Just talk to me.”

  It was then that I realized why I’d been so nervous about talking to Minus all along. It wasn’t just because I was afraid he was going to shoot the plan down and I’d have to start at square one. It was because I really cared about this idea. I was starting to get excited and was afraid Minus was going to take this opportunity away from me, just like he was trying to keep me from Eldie.

  “I slept with Eldie,” I blurted out, before I’d fully comprehended what I’d done.

  “What the fuck?” Minus laughed.

  “I slept with Eldie. Well, she slept with me... we slept together is the point. We wanted to, and we did,” I said.

  “Okay then,” he replied. “What else?”

  “What else?”

  “Yeah, what else do you have for me? I assume that sleeping with Doctor Gardner isn’t how you plan on making money for the club. Unless she’s paying you a shit ton of money to knock boots. Are you a gigolo?” Minus laughed.

  “I thought you’d be pissed after all your warning to stay away from her.”

  “Did you listen?” he asked.

  “No, but—”

  “There ya go,” he said.

  “What the fuck does that supposed to mean?”

  “Nicky, I’ve been friends with you long enough to know that even if I’m the club’s president, you’re never gonna listen to a goddamned word I say. I know you will always have my back, and I know you’ll march when you need to march, but I’m realistic. I’d rather you not fuck up our relationship with Eldie, but you’re an adult and I knew you were gonna fuck her the minute I saw you roll up with her at the picnic. You think I don’t know you by now?”

  “Fair enough, but just so you know, we’re going out tonight. I like her Minus, a lot. She’s not really into me at the moment, but I’m hoping tonight will change things, and it would be better for me if you were on my side rather than throwing up road block.”

  “What the fuck am I gonna do? After the shit Hatch and Cutter pulled back in the day to keep me and Cricket apart, I’d be a dick if I stood in your way if you actually are about her. I’m glad for you. Don’t fuck it up. Now, whatta ya got for me?”

  “Like I said, I didn’t write anything down, but I have some rough figures in my head and... fuck it. I want t
o open a combat sports gym. I found a building that would be perfect, and by my rough estimates thing we could be profitable in just under a year. You aid there had to be a community service aspect, so I think we could do volunteer work training at risk kids after school and shit.” I said the words out loud for the first time ever and mentally braced for the sting of Minus’ rejection.

  “Sounds great. I love it,” was all he said.

  “That’s it?”

  “No, that’s not it. You’ll need to get with Cricket, work out the actual numbers with her and make sure we can get approved for whatever loans we need, but I think the idea is solid and that you’d be great at running a gym.”

  “I thought you’d think I was just looking for an excuse to punch people in the mouth,” I said, still stunned. “I actually met with Cricket I was so sure you’d hate the idea.”

  “Smart move. What did she tell you?”

  “To be direct and honest.”

  “That’s my woman,” he smiled. “At least your idea makes sense. You should hear what Ropes wants to do.”

  Gina

  I stood outside the Pink Priest, or more accurately paced, for forty-five minutes. A steady flow of patrons entered and exited, as I waited, like an idiot in an outfit I felt five years too old and ten pounds too heavy to be wearing. I checked my phone for any missed messages from Clutch and had decided to leave before I heard his voice call out, “Hey, Doc!”

  Even though I was not pleased with his lack of punctuality, his smoky voice made my lady parts ache. I, however wasn’t about to let him know that, so I turned around sharply to face him and made sure to wear my mood plainly on my face.

  “Sorry, I’m late. Please don’t shoot,” he said, putting his hands up. “I was talking to Minus, and—"

  “I’m freezing, my feet are killing me in these stupid shoes, and I’m starving,” I barked out like a lunatic.

  “Well, shit, baby, let’s get you inside. You didn’t have to wait out here.”

  “Don’t baby me, and don’t tell me where I can and cannot wait. When I’m invited out, I don’t go into restaurants alone. I wait to be escorted, like a lady, by a gentleman,” I said, barely able to believe the words coming out of my mouth were my own. Clutch said nothing, but blinked several times, before placing his hand on my shoulder and gently guiding me away from the curb to a more private spot behind a row of potted birch trees.

  “Doc, what are you doing?” he asked.

  “What do you mean? You’re late and I’m pissed,” I replied.

  “Yeah, but I apologized for that, and that’s not really what I’m talking about,” he said.

  “What do you mean?” I asked, suddenly feeling like I’d been thrown off balance.

  “I mean, you’re giving off a pissed-off girlfriend kind of vibe here,” he said.

  “Because I’m angry that you’re late for our date, and that I’ve had to stand out here in the cold, not knowing if you’d even show up!”

  “See, that there is what I mean. Calling this a date, saying you expect to be escorted by a gentleman. That kind of shit.”

  “Shit?”

  “I’m not saying that proper dates, and romance, and boyfriend/girlfriend... stuff, isn’t great, it’s just not really what I’ve been accustomed to doing in the past, or what you and I started out doing.” Clutch leaned in close, and his eyes focused on mine a little longer than made me feel comfortable. But then again, Clutch didn’t make me feel comfortable at all. “You’re gonna have to give me a second to figure out how to do some of this. Is that okay?”

  It was at that very moment that I realized that he didn’t make me feel any way I’d ever felt before. It was some sort of mixture of rebellion and freedom. The lack of feeling in control around him wasn’t because I didn’t feel safe, it was because I was scaring myself with how free I was allowing myself to be. At first, being with Clutch meant that I didn’t have to be Gina or carry around her baggage. I could simply be Eldie, and Clutch could be my secret sin, but now there was something more that I craved from him, but I didn’t know what it was.

  “You’re right, I’m sorry,” I said.

  “Way too many fuckin’ people are agreeing with me lately.”

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, confused.

  “First, Minus then Cricket. Now you tell me I’m right after I’m a jerk by being late. I can’t keep up with this upside-down world I’m living in.”

  “What I mean is, you’re right that I probably only know how to fight like someone in a full-on relationship. I married the first guy that I’d ever dated seriously and hated the thought of trying to navigate my way through the current hookup culture. All of this is new to me. I was trying to save my marriage when all the dating apps came out, and now I’ve proven myself incapable of even having a one-night stand without making it weird.”

  “Hey,” he said, lifting my chin. “I was the one that asked you out tonight. I wanted to formally apologize, and to thank you properly for cleaning my house, shopping, and for everything. I had a really great time with you before things got weird, and for what it’s worth, you never felt like a hook up to me. What I’m saying is I guess, I’d like tonight to be a... ”

  “A date?” I asked

  “It’s whatever you want it to be, baby. Just promise you’ll spend the evening with me tonight, and I promise I’ll never be late again,” he said, crossing his heart over his Sgt’s patch.

  “I expect my friends to keep their promises,” I said, pulling him down closer to me.

  “Is that what we are? Friends?” he whispered, our lips inches apart.

  “You betcha, Nicky.”

  He kissed me deeply, his massive arms wrapped tightly around my body, which was no longer shivering.

  “C’mon, let’s get inside. I could use a drink. You ever been here?” he asked while holding the door open for me.

  “I didn’t even know it existed until tonight,” I admitted.

  Clutch laughed. “You’re in for a real treat.”

  We entered the Pink Priest and my jaw just about hit the glitter covered floors. The foyer of the restaurant was a hodgepodge of gold leaf and hot pink. The place looked like gaudy and elegant had a fistfight after drinking one too many lava lamps.

  “Welcome to the Pink Priest, my name is Friar Chuck, the Maître’d, do you have a reservation with us this evening?” An extremely large bearded man, wearing a purple paisley robe and a white feather boa asked us.

  “No, but I’m friends with the owner,” Clutch said, to my surprise. “Is Bob here tonight?”

  “Robert is here this evening, but he’s not receiving... guests,” Friar Chuck said in a dismissive tone after noticeably sizing up Clutch.

  Clutch took Friar Chuck’s meaty hand in his, discreetly slipping him a folded bill in the process.

  “Do me a favor will ya, Padre? Let Robert know that his old buddy Clutch is here; and that he and his lovely date,” he said looking at me, “would love to sit in the confessional tonight if that would be possible.”

  Friar Chuck glanced at the bill in his hand and said, “Please allow me to see what I can do,” before shuffling off quickly.

  “He moves pretty quick for a big boy,” Clutch said, before adding, “especially in those heels.”

  “I should ask him for tips,” I said looking down at the overpriced torture devices currently strapped to my aching feet.

  “No use being in pain,” Clutch said, plainly. “Why don’t you take ’em off.”

  “Because they match my outfit perfectly,” I said. “That’s why I bought them. I’ve never had the chance to wear them, and I never get dressed up and go out anymore, plus I wanted to look cute tonight.”

  “Doc,” Clutch said with a slow smile that light up his usually sullen face. “You’d have to be beaten with an ugly stick for a week in order to get you down to cute, Doc. You look absolutely beautiful, and in a lot of pain.” He down and gently unbuckled the strap on my left shoe, removing it before f
ocusing on the right. The familiar blush of embarrassment crept up the back of my neck.

  “What am I supposed to do now?” I asked. “I’ll feel like an idiot walking around barefoot.”

  “Here, I’ll take off my boots, and we’ll pretend that we’re at a Japanese restaurant,” he said, reaching down.

  “No, don’t you dare,” I laughed, pulling on his muscular arm. “Didn’t you see what happened in Donnie Brasco?”

  “What did you just say?” Clutch asked.

  “Oh, nothing,” I said. “I was just referencing Donnie Brasco, it’s an old Jonny Depp movie that no one ever knows about.”

  “That’s my favorite movie of all-time,” Clutch said.

  “Shut up, you’re totally lying,” I said. “That is such a first date line.”

  “I’m lying? Fugetaboutit,” Clutch said, doing a surprisingly good impressive Al Pacino impersonation. “You think my story is a fugazi? Ask anyone around here about me, and they’ll tell you, I’m known.”

  “Holy shit!” I squeaked out way too loud, before covering my mouth, causing both of us to laugh. “You really do know it.”

  “I told you, it’s my favorite movie,” he said.

  “Okay, Lefty, but I’m still embarrassed,” I said, wiggling my exposed piggies.

  “Look around, Doc,” Clutch said, waiving my heels in the air. “This ain’t exactly the kind of place one can be easily embarrassed in.”

  “What is this place? Some sort of drag show?” I asked with a giggle.

  “Not exactly,” he said, just at Friar Chuck returned.

  “We are preparing the confessional for you as we speak. Robert would love to join you both a bit later if that is alright with sir and madame.”

  “That would be great,” Clutch said, slipping Friar Chuck another bill, and pulling him close before whispering something in his hear. Friar Chuck nodded and said, “Please allow one of our hosts to seat you and enjoy your evening with us, you beautiful sinners.”