Anything For You: A Coming Home Short Story

by Jessica Scott

  Anything For You

  A Coming Home Short Story

  Jessica Scott

  Anything For You

  Copyright © 2013 by Jessica Dawson

  CONTENTS

  Anything for You

  Acknowledgments

  Other Books by Jessica Scott

  Excerpt from Bitten by Deceit

  Fort Hood, late 2008

  “Jen is going to kill you. You know that, right?” Vic Carponti took a long pull off his ever-present Dr Pepper. “I think she has first dibs on your balls. You don’t have exclusive use over them any more.”

  Sergeant First Class Shane Garrison glanced over at Carponti and fought the urge to use the physical therapy ropes to strangle the younger sergeant. No matter how much time they’d spent together training Army privates at Benning or blowing shit up downrange, Carponti still managed to push all the right buttons. “You’re not helping, you know.” Shane was already having a hard enough time trying to find the nerve to talk to his fiancée about his desire for a vasectomy.

  “Jen wants kids.”

  “I know that,” Shane growled. He leaned down to stretch, barely suppressing a groan as the muscles in his thighs protested the daily pain his physical therapist insisted on. He’d have thought that six months after being blown up in Iraq, physical therapy would stop being a morning torture session. Guess not.

  “Why are you so adamant about this?” Carponti held up his hand at Shane’s fierce look. “I’m an expert in amputations, not women and babies, okay?”

  “She had breast cancer. A really aggressive version. If she gets pregnant and the cancer comes back, the choice comes down to her life or the baby’s life…and I don’t want to have to make that choice with her. I don’t want her to have to make that choice. Granted, it might all be fine. She might never get sick again, or the hormones from pregnancy might not do anything to her.” Shane walked over to the free weights. His legs protested each step, so his next words came out slowly, one with each step. “I can’t risk it. No matter how much I might want a kid with her, I’m not going to risk her life for some selfish need to feel my baby growing inside her.”

  “I realize that,” Carponti said, “but why on earth are you looking at this without talking to her first?”

  “I’m going to talk to her.” Shane sighed hard. “I just haven’t yet.” He didn’t want to admit he was afraid. Not to Carponti. He’d never hear the end of it.

  “Did you ever think you’re overreacting?” Carponti asked, following him.

  “No,” Shane snapped. “Because I’m not.”

  “You just said there’s no rule that if a woman gets pregnant after cancer, she’s going to die.”

  “Yeah, well, I’ve also talked to the brigade surgeon. There’s a higher risk of the cancer coming back for younger women like Jen who had aggressive cancers. There’s a higher risk that if she does get pregnant and the cancer comes back, it could come back even more aggressive.” Shane looked at Carponti seriously. “I want kids with her. I just don’t want to kill her.”

  “So you’re going to get unmanned and tell her later?”

  “This isn’t funny.”

  “Vasectomies are always funny. Especially watching a big guy like you squirm over the fact.”

  “It is my balls we’re talking about,” Shane snapped, grabbing the fifty-pound dumbbells. It was one of those times he’d rather not have Carponti chirping in his ear.

  “If a vasectomy is such a big deal, then why do it?” Carponti placed the bottle in his prosthetic hand. “There’s other ways of preventing pregnancy, you know.”

  “We’ve talked about all of those. She had a bad reaction to an IUD. Anything hormone-based is out. And condoms scare the shit out of me.”

  “Did we have a bad experience with a condom?”

  Shane groaned, wishing he hadn’t said anything. “When I was seventeen, I had a condom break on me. The girl and I spent the rest of the month terrified she was pregnant.” He glanced at Carponti. “So while I appreciate that you think me getting my balls clipped is amusing, this isn’t all that funny.”

  “Maybe not, but watching you freak out about it certainly is.”

  “You’re so good for morale.”

  “You can bitch all you want, but I still don't see why there aren’t other options.”

  Why? Shane ground his teeth and counted as he curled the weights. He’d read the literature about Jen’s specific cancer. Everything he read created a little more fear that he could lose her. Shane did not do well with fear. If the only thing he could control in the equation was his sperm, he was doing that.

  Sometimes, at night, when the nightmares came, it was no longer his soldiers who’d died in the war haunting his sleep. Sometimes, it was Jen, bleeding out in his arms. He didn’t tell her that. Every time he tried, the emotion got jammed up halfway between his throat and his mouth.

  Jen wasn’t a random number in a study. She was his heart and soul, and while she was determined to live a normal life and not let the cancer define her, every time they made love, he was aware of the risk.

  The worst part about it all? He wanted kids with her, too. But the risk was too great.

  “Hello? Candyass who’s stressing about getting his balls chopped off? Why is a vasectomy the only option for you not to get her pregnant?”

  Shane finished his set. “Because it’s the smart thing to do. Condoms break. Birth control fails.” Carponti was probably about to accuse him of writing country songs again. “This is the only one-hundred-percent sure option.”

  “You could always be in a celibate marriage with her,” Carponti said dryly.

  “Yeah, and then she bangs the FedEx guy when I’m in the field.”

  Carponti snorted and coughed. “That’s just wrong.”

  Shane dropped the weights, the muscles in his left arm screaming. He was nearly back to his previous strength in his upper body, but sometimes his bones liked to remind him that no, he was never going to be as good as he’d been before.

  It frustrated him that there were more aches and pains now. More stiffness just getting out of bed in the morning. But he was determined to heal, so he could get back to leading soldiers.

  Because that’s what he did.

  Beside him, Carponti finished not choking on his drink. “You’re serious about this. You’re really going to let a doctor near your nutsack with a scalpel?”

  “Will you just drop it? I shouldn’t have said anything to you, damn it.”

  “What? I just want to be sure you’re making the best, most informed decision.” Carponti grinned. “You’re going to let me see the cut, right?”

  Shane just shot him a baleful glare and Carponti held up both hands, the soda in one. Funny, Shane was used to the prosthetic now. It no longer caught his eye like it once had. Carponti was just...Carponti. The missing hand didn’t really matter.

  “Hey, so have you heard what’s going on back at battalion?” Carponti asked.

  Shane picked up his water bottle and flipped open the cap. “I haven’t been in to see Sarn’t Major in a while. I’ve got a meeting with him later today. Why?”

  “There’s a ton of bad shit going on. Iaconelli got in a bunch of trouble up in Colorado on a mission.”

  “That’s nothing new. Ike’s always in trouble.” Shane and Sergeant First Class Reza Iaconelli had never really gotten along, which was a shame, because Ike was a damn fine infantryman.

  “Yeah, well, apparently there’s a whole bunch of crap going on down there. Maybe that’s why Sarn’t Major wants to see you. See how much longer before you’re back at work?”

  “Maybe.” S
arn’t Major would no doubt fill him in when he saw him later. Shane wanted to get back to work. Badly. But if Ike was screwing up again, Shane damn sure didn’t want to get back just to clean up after him.

  Carponti grinned. “So, back to the more pressing matters, are you going to gift wrap your nuts and put a little bow on them and say, ‘Here baby, for Valentine’s Day, I’ve sacrificed my manhood’?”

  Shane shook his head and tried not to laugh. “There’s something the matter with you. You know that, right?”

  “Sure. My traumatic brain injury is acting up again.” Carponti turned toward the door as it opened. “Speaking of nuts, here’s my wife. I need to get mine out of her purse.”

  Shane turned to see Nicole Carponti walking onto the physical therapy floor, looking polished and perfect. No one ever looked at her and thought she was a cop. It made her a perfect investigator.

  It also made everyone wonder what the hell she was doing with a scruffy, red-headed sergeant like Vic Carponti, but hey, she’d stuck with him after he’d gotten blown up. And worse, through his incessant bad tricks with his prosthetic. Shane watched as Carponti kissed his wife on the cheek, then slung his good arm around her shoulders as they walked out. Shane was reasonably certain Carponti tried to pinch Nicole’s ass with his prosthetic.

  Life was never dull around Carponti, that was for damn sure.

  Shane finished his therapy in blessed silence and headed to the locker room to change back into his duty uniform. He took a deep breath, running his hand over his jaw. Last week, Jen had slipped her body over his, her slick heat caressing his bare erection, and Shane had almost died from the pleasure of skin on skin. No barriers. He didn’t know which one of them wanted it more—the desire painting her features had been beautiful. And she’d gotten bolder since then, driving him toward a little death each time he touched her. No matter how much he was tempted to make love to her without a goddamned condom, he would not risk her life for a few moments of pleasure.

  He loved Jen. More than life itself. The vasectomy was a very real discussion he was going to have with her very soon.

  * * *

  Jen smiled as Shane walked onto her hospital floor. There was something right about seeing him in uniform, especially after all those months he’d spent recovering. The grey camouflage looked good on him. Like he was more comfortable in uniform than civilian clothes. The Army was important to him.

  He tucked his cap into the back of his waistband, stretching his grey uniform tight across his massive chest. Her blood warmed. Yeah. Her smile softened as she remembered waking up with him that morning. The man was better than coffee.

  “Hey,” she said, leaning back in her chair, twisting her civilian ID card holder in its lanyard. Soldiers didn’t have to wear ID in the hospital but civilian nurses like Jen? Their ID had to be visible at all times.

  “Hungry?” Shane asked, leaning against the counter around her nurse’s station.

  “Starving. What did you have in mind?”

  His gaze darkened as it dropped to her mouth. No matter how long she’d been with him, the raw hunger in his eyes made her ache.

  She shook her head to dissuade him from the direction his thoughts had taken. “It has to be a short lunch. I’ve got to update records before my staff meeting at one.”

  He grinned.

  She loved the way his eyes crinkled at the corners.

  “Cafeteria downstairs, then?”

  “Sure.”

  He waited for her to grab her purse, then they walked down the hallway together. She had gotten used to his walking a little too close, close enough that their hands bumped. It had taken a long time for her to realize it was just something he did with her. When she’d been his nurse all those months ago, she’d never have guessed he was a man who craved touch. Even when she’d first met him, when he’d been so weak she’d had to shave him, the man had attracted her. There had been something beyond physical strength that had drawn her to him. Now that he was back on his feet and on his way to being fully fit, he overwhelmed her. But she did not feel crowded or smothered.

  She felt cherished. Loved.

  But as much as she loved him and no matter how much she knew that leading soldiers defined him, part of her was terrified. He hungered to get back to the life he’d had before he’d gotten sent home. The stronger Shane got, the closer he came to returning to the war that had pushed him into her arms in the first place.

  She tightened her grip on her purse as she stepped into the elevator with him. His return to war was a fear she was going to have to deal with.

  “You’re being quiet,” he said, boxing her in, his arms framing her, his big body blocking her view as he nuzzled her neck. They were alone, so she lifted her face to his. He kissed her, and warmth flooded her as his mouth moved over hers. This, she craved. Her lips parted beneath his, her fingers curled into his chest. She lost herself in his taste, the strength beneath her palms.

  He lifted his mouth from hers, nuzzling her cheek. “Sure I can’t coax you out to one of the training areas to be a little bit wild?”

  “You’re a bad influence,” she whispered. He stepped back as the elevator came to a halt, just in time to allow a full bird colonel and a lady with three kids into the elevator.

  “I try. Carponti’s rubbing off on me.”

  “That is deeply disturbing.”

  Shane laughed. His hand sought the back of her neck, his fingers caressing her skin beneath her blonde hair. A shiver ran down her spine, and she seriously reconsidered her short lunch restrictions.

  “Are you still meeting with Sergeant Major Giles?” she asked as they stepped off the elevator to the cafeteria.

  “Later today.” He glanced down at her. “Don’t worry, I’m not running off to the desert any time soon.”

  She handed him a tray. “I was just thinking about how nice it’s been having you all to myself these last few months. I don’t want to share you with the Army.”

  Shane said nothing as they moved through the line, then made their way outside to the cool Fort Hood afternoon and sat beneath the shade of a large tree. “Is it worrying you a lot? Me going back into the fight?”

  “It keeps me up a little bit,” she admitted, as they sat beneath the shade of a large tree.

  The silence hung between them for a moment. Then Shane reached for her hands, cradling them in his. She stared down at their fingers, threaded together. His thumb caressed her palm gently.

  “There’s nothing set in stone, Jen,” he said softly.

  “I know.” She lifted her gaze to his. “I’ll be okay, Shane. I know this is important to you.”

  “I love you.” His thumb stopped, his eyes dark. “More than the Army.”

  She held up both hands. “No. We’re not discussing this right now. You’ve worked too hard on your recovery to talk about getting out.”

  “I screwed up my first marriage by being gone too much, Jen. I won’t do that to you.”

  She leaned forward, cupping his face, not caring that he was in uniform or that public displays of affection were frowned upon. “And I won’t do that to you. So let’s change the subject and talk about something more fun. Our first Valentine’s Day.”

  He kissed her palm before she released him. Her heart swelled at his gentle touch. How could a man so big be so full of love and caring?

  He toyed with his pasta. “So, I’m not very good at romance. I could use a few hints about what to get you.”

  “Well, I’m not too high maintenance. I can make it easy for you. I don’t like chocolate that much and honestly, a night on the couch watching a movie sounds amazing.”

  “You really don’t like chocolate?”

  She tried to ignore the look of disappointment that flickered in his eyes. “This is not news,” she said with a smile.

  “I know. I just figured you weren’t so adamantly against chocolate that you wouldn’t want to try something later.” He cleared his throat. “Later tonight.”

&n
bsp; She narrowed her eyes at him but couldn’t prevent the flush heating her cheeks. “You haven’t been taking relationship advice from Carponti, have you?”

  Shane laughed, a deep laugh that crinkled the edges of his eyes and rumbled in his chest. “No. I was joking.” His eyes drifted down to her mouth. “Mostly.”

  Jen laughed quietly as she stood and led the way indoors. “There is something wrong with you.”

  “You’re not going to help me out with this whole Valentine’s Day thing, are you?” Shane took her tray and dumped it with his onto the conveyor belt.

  “I was serious. An evening on the couch watching a movie sounds wonderful to me. Maybe you could rub my feet.”

  “I like where this is going.” He placed his hand on the small of her back, guiding her away from the elevator to the stairwell.

  She didn’t wait for the door to close behind them. The stairs in the hospital were not a low traffic area, but for a moment, she wrapped her arms around his neck and felt the joy of him pulling her close. Their lips met in a fierce kiss that left her wanting more.

  Footsteps on the stairs above them ended their interlude before they got carried away, but he kept his hand on the small of her back as they climbed to the third floor. The simple touch carried such a fierce protectiveness in it.

  “I’ll see you later,” she said, brushing her lips against his.

  He nodded. “I don’t think Sarn’t Major will keep me long.”

  She watched him until he disappeared around the corner. She had never hidden her worry about him going back to full duty. She’d never hidden her fear that he would go back to war and that she might lose him.

  But she wasn’t about to let her fear take something so important away from him. If he decided to get out of the Army, it wouldn’t be because he was afraid of losing her. It would be because it was something he wanted to do.

  Jen would just have to figure out a way deal with it, just like Army wives everywhere had always done.