Unbreak My Heart

by Nicole Jacquelyn

  “What happened, bud?” I asked, glancing at Keller in the rearview mirror.

  “I got in a fight,” he mumbled, meeting my eyes.

  The mask of indifference he’d been wearing for the past few months anytime he was in trouble slowly disappeared off his face, and he burst into tears.

  “Why the heck would you do that?” I asked gently, pulling onto the freeway.

  “Nathan called me Little Orphan Annie,” he bit out, swiping a hand over his face angrily.

  “Well, that’s ridiculous,” I stated. “You’re not an orphan. Orphans don’t have parents.”

  “And I’m not a girl!”

  “That’s also true,” I said, trying not to laugh at the disgust on his face. “But you can’t get in fights, little man, because then you get in trouble.”

  “Daddy’s gonna be mad at me,” he replied softly, making my heart ache.

  We were silent for the rest of the drive. When we finally reached the house, Keller jumped from his seat and crawled out of the car, running inside as I pulled my cell phone from my purse.

  “Hello?” Shane answered after a few rings.

  “Hey, so I just picked up Keller from school…”

  “Shit.” He sighed. “What happened—is he okay?”

  “Yeah, he’s fine. According to Keller, he got into a fight because some little snot called him Little Orphan Annie.”

  “Well, that’s not much of an insult.”

  “It is when you’re six.”

  “What did the office say? Is he suspended or something?”

  “I don’t know—they wouldn’t fucking talk to me,” I answered in exasperation, frustrated all over again by that snotty counselor.

  “What? Why?”

  “The counselor wanted to talk to you.”

  “But you were already there.”

  “She wants you to go in after work and talk to her.”

  “Fuck. I won’t be off work until after four.”

  I climbed out of the car as my mom stepped out onto the front porch. “Yeah, she said she’d wait.”

  “Okay, then I’ll meet you there at like four thirty. Shit, I have to go. See you in a few hours.”

  The phone disconnected, and I dropped my arm down to my side. I guessed I was going to have to deal with Snots McCauley again that afternoon.

  * * *

  “Hey, beautiful,” Shane called, opening my door as I put the car in park. “How was the rest of your day?”

  “Eh. Keller spent most of the day playing Legos with Aunt Ellie. The poor kid looked like he was waiting on the executioner; he’s so terrified about seeing you.”

  “I don’t know why—you’re way more scary,” he said, putting a hand on the small of my back to lead me inside the school.

  “Hello, Mr. Anderson. I’m Susan McCauley, the counselor here.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Shane replied politely, reaching out to shake her hand.

  “Why don’t you come on into my office?” she said, waving her arm toward a door to the right.

  Shane gently pushed me forward, and Susan barely looked at me as we passed her. Fun times.

  “I asked you to come to see me because it seems Keller has been having some behavioral issues for most of the school year.”

  “What?” I asked in confusion. “We only got one note.”

  “At first it was name-calling, but today it progressed into actual physical violence,” Susan said to Shane, completely ignoring me. “We have a no-tolerance rule. That’s why we sent Keller home with Ms. Evans. But I wanted to speak to you one-on-one so we could work together to help Keller.”

  “From what Keller said, some boy was calling him names—”

  “That’s the story I heard, too,” Susan said with a nod. “But we really can’t excuse violence because of a little name-calling.”

  “Keller has scratches all over his arms. Did you send the other kid home, too?” I asked, clenching my hands in my lap. The woman acted like a robot—I didn’t understand how she was supposed to be a counselor for little kids.

  “Ms. Evans, please let me speak to Mr. Anderson,” Snotty McCauley chastised, glancing at me briefly before turning her eyes back to Shane.

  He made a sound of disbelief in his throat, looking over at me in surprise.

  “Kate has just as much to say here as I do,” Shane defended, his brows pulling together.

  “In situations like these, I find it more beneficial if I speak directly to the child’s parents, Mr. Anderson,” she said simply. “I meant no disrespect.”

  “She’s his mother,” Shane argued, making my breath catch. “I’m not sure why you’d have an issue talking to her.”

  “Oh.” Susan looked thrown for a moment and glanced down to shuffle through some papers on her desk. “Keller called her aunt when she picked him up earlier, and I was under the impression that Keller and Sage’s mother had died in a car accident two years ago.”

  The breath left my chest at her nonchalant mention of Rachel’s accident. When she looked back up from her desk, her eyes widened at the looks on our faces.

  “Yes, she did,” Shane agreed softly. “But Kate has been taking care of Keller since he was born. She’s his mother in every sense of the word.”

  Susan sputtered for a moment, then seemed to get her nerves under control. “I hadn’t realized,” she said flatly, before wrinkling her nose as if she smelled something bad. “Well, sometimes untraditional home lives can be the root of behavioral issues. Perhaps Keller—”

  “Yeah, we’re done here,” Shane said in disgust, shaking his head as he stood and pulled me up beside him. “Have the office call Kate tomorrow and let us know when Keller can come back to school.”

  “Mr. Anderson!” Susan called as Shane opened her office door. “We really haven’t settled on any plan of attack—”

  “Keller’s mother and I will deal with any behavior issues he has,” Shane said, turning to face her. “You’ve been condescending and rude since the moment we walked into the school—and I shouldn’t have even had to come in here when you could have talked to Kate earlier. I’m not sure what your deal is, but I sure as shit hope that you treat the kids in your care better than you treat their concerned parents.”

  He grabbed my hand and pulled me to my car so fast I was practically running to keep up with him.

  “That fucking bitch!” he mumbled, taking the keys from my hand so he could unlock the car for me. “Could you believe that shit?”

  “She was like that when I picked Keller up.”

  “Why the hell didn’t you warn me?”

  I shrugged and reached up to give him a small peck on the mouth. “You took care of it.”

  I climbed inside the car and started it up as he shut the door.

  “I’ll follow you,” he mouthed through the window before walking over to his truck.

  My hands were shaking from adrenaline as we pulled out of the parking lot, and I took a deep breath to try to calm my nerves. I’d always hated confrontation. I didn’t like it when people were mad at me, and knowing that someone disliked me made my skin crawl. I think that may have been why I was such a people pleaser as a kid.

  We’d had so many other children in and out of our house growing up—children with behavioral issues that made Keller’s look like nothing—that I’d learned early how to avoid any type of conflict. When it couldn’t be avoided, my brothers had always stepped in, first Alex with his charm, and if that didn’t work, then Bram with his fists.

  When I’d become an adult and entered the business world, I’d learned to deal with my fear. But emailing back and forth with a disgruntled client wasn’t anything like dealing with someone’s dislike to my face.

  I’d felt frozen inside that little office, my face burning with mortification. I’d never done anything to that woman, but she’d seemed to dislike me anyway. She’d made me feel small until Shane spoke up. His words had soothed me the way nothing else could have.

  He’d g
iven me a sense of validation that he’d never given me before.

  I looked up to my mirror to check on the truck behind me and caught sight of him singing along to the radio, sunglasses covering his eyes. That small piece of something I’d been waiting for suddenly clicked into place.

  Tenderness filled me as I pulled off the freeway and into a small gas station parking lot.

  He’d barely stopped the truck before I was out of my car and making my way to his door.

  “What’s up?” he asked, opening it as I reached him.

  I stepped up onto the running board and pulled his face to mine, kissing him hard as he fumbled to turn off the truck.

  “I love you,” I whispered into his mouth.

  One hand gripped my ass as he groaned, and suddenly the other was pulling the lever under his seat so it slid backward, giving him room to pull me into his lap. I scrambled up to straddle him, and we both moaned as our lower halves met.

  “What’s this about?” he asked, gripping my hair so he could tilt my head and press his lips to my neck. “Fuck, ignore me,” he gasped against my skin. “I don’t even care.”

  I laughed breathlessly, pulling away from him, and looked down into his dilated eyes. “You’re so getting lucky tonight,” I said, grinding my hips down against him.

  “I’m lucky every night,” he replied softly, pulling my head back down so he could kiss me again.

  * * *

  “Naked,” Shane demanded as he entered our room that night after his shower.

  “Damn, you’re bossy,” I teased back, pulling my hair into a ponytail.

  We’d driven home that evening flushed and turned on, but by the time we’d talked to Keller and had dinner with the kids and our mothers, the tension between us had calmed considerably.

  It was still there, just under the surface, but life and family had overshadowed it for a little while.

  “If you’re not naked in the next fifteen seconds, I’m going to bend you over the bed and fuck you with your clothes still on,” he replied, dropping the towel from his waist. “I’m not picky at this point.”

  I laughed softly and pushed my pants down my hips as he stared.

  “I shaved my legs,” I said with a grin, pulling off my shirt. “It’s your lucky day.”

  “It sure as hell is,” he breathed, looking up and down my body.

  “Do you think our moms knew something was up and that’s why they took Iris in with them for the night?” I asked as he moved toward me.

  “I am not talking about Ellie and Liz with you when you’re completely naked and we haven’t had sex in over a year,” he mumbled, gripping my hips to push me backward onto the bed. “The only thing you get to say is Fuck me harder, Shane, or I forgot how huge your dick is.” I laughed as he climbed on top of me. “You could pray, too. An Oh God! wouldn’t go amiss.”

  “You’re so big,” I whispered huskily, a small smile on my face. “Oh Shane, however will you fit?”

  “Yes. Go with that,” he muttered distractedly, leaning down to press his lips to mine.

  I practically bubbled over with happiness as he came down on his elbows and slipped his tongue into my mouth.

  “Mmm, you taste like garlic bread,” I mumbled as he pulled away slightly.

  “Shit.” He burst out laughing and dropped his head to my shoulder, his entire body shaking with mirth.

  “What?” I asked, pushing at him. “I like garlic bread!” My words only made him laugh harder, and soon I was giggling because the sound was so infectious.

  “Will I ever feel cool around you?” he asked with a wide smile, once he could finally catch his breath. “I’m using all my good moves, and you’re commenting on my garlic breath.”

  “Those were your best moves?” I asked stupidly, making him bark out another laugh. “I mean, of course those were good moves. Awesome moves—”

  “I am so in love with you,” he said, cutting off my rambling.

  “That’s good,” I mumbled, my eyes wide.

  “Really good,” he confirmed, pulling me up the bed until he could move between my thighs.

  “I love you, too.”

  “I know.”

  “So do you think—”

  “No more talking, Kate,” he ordered, kissing me hard.

  Within seconds I wouldn’t have been able to speak anyway because he was leaning on one elbow and using his other hand to tweak my nipples into hard, little points.

  My hips rolled against his, and I pulled my knees up high, urging him closer. His skin was hot under my palms as I traced the ridges of muscles on his back and arms.

  “God, you’re so sexy,” he rasped, pulling his mouth from mine to move down my neck. His lips reached my nipple, making me gasp, and he chuckled darky as he slid his fingers between my legs. I jerked against his hand as he slid his fingers inside, his thumb rubbing my clit in little circles.

  “Fuck,” I gasped, groaning when he pulled his hand away.

  “Next time,” he gasped, his breathing rough, “I’ll take my time.”

  He knelt up between my legs and grabbed my thighs with both hands, draping them over his so I was tilted with my hips a bit higher than my head. “This time, I can’t wait.” He met my eyes as he reached between us to position his cock at my entrance. “And I want to watch.”

  He looked back down as he snapped his hips forward, and my back completely arched off the bed at the feeling of him thrusting inside me.

  He paused when he’d bottomed out, and his chest heaved as his hands tightened on my thighs. “Birth control?”

  “Got an IUD,” I snapped, trying to work my hips against his strong grip. “We’re good.”

  “Thank God.” He pulled back and thrust forward again a few times before stopping.

  “What the fuck, Shane?” I asked in annoyance, leaning up on my elbows.

  “Need you closer,” he mumbled, reaching under me to pull me up against his chest. “Oh fuck,” he groaned as he slid a bit deeper inside. “Yeah.”

  I reached up, wrapping my hand around the front of his throat, and felt him swallow hard against my palm as his eyes met mine. He began to move, and I countered him, rolling my hips slightly so my clit would rub against his pubic bone with every thrust of his hips. “Fuck me harder, Shane,” I said with a small smile, repeating his words from earlier. “I forgot how huge your dick was.”

  He smiled wide and thrust harder.

  Before long, I was scratching the hell out of his back as I came. “Oh God,” I mumbled, my breath catching.

  Sweat was dripping down his temples when he lay me back down a few seconds later, and he completely ignored the racket he was making while he jerked his hips forward over and over, slamming my bed into the wall behind us until he finally came with a deep, satisfied groan.

  “Holy hell,” he mumbled, dropping like a stone on top of me.

  “Really good moves,” I replied blearily, closing my eyes as he chuckled.

  * * *

  Hours later, we were still awake, talking quietly about anything and everything from our favorite sexual positions to stories from our childhoods.

  “I’m pretty sure, if our moms didn’t know before, they know what we were doing now,” I said with a groan as Shane traced his fingers over a couple of stretch marks on my belly.

  “We got a little loud at the end,” he agreed, leaning down to run his lips over my belly button.

  “We? What we, kemosabe? That was all you. I was quiet.”

  “Yeah yeah.”

  “Man, I’m going to have to start working out,” I grumbled. “My legs are sore as shit.”

  “Thighs or calves?” he asked, sitting up.

  “Yes,” I answered, making him smile.

  He reached out and began to massage my legs, starting with my thighs.

  “We should sell the house,” he said after a quiet few minutes.

  “What?” I leaned up on my elbows to look at him.

  “We’re not using the master be
droom.” He glanced at me before looking back at what he was doing to my legs. “We should have a house that’s ours.”

  “Are you sure? I mean, I know that you don’t want to use that room, but—”

  “Is that what you thought?” he asked, looking at me in surprise. “I don’t care what room we’re in. But at the beginning, I was sneaking in here at night and praying you wouldn’t kick my ass out. I wasn’t going to push it by asking you to switch rooms.”

  “Oh,” I responded quietly.

  “Everything I have is yours, Katie, okay? I don’t have any hang-ups about that shit.”

  “I don’t know. It’s just a little weird.” I shrugged uncomfortably. “It probably shouldn’t bother me.”

  “But it does.”

  I nodded, giving him a half smile.

  “So we should get our own house,” he said, switching legs. “It’ll probably take a while to sell this one though.”

  “I’m not in any hurry,” I assured him.

  We grew quiet, both lost in our own thoughts.

  I’d gotten past the feeling of being Rachel’s substitute—my relationship with Shane had very little to do with her—but sometimes I still felt funny when I went through their bedroom to use the shower or found something she’d bought in the back of a closet. I figured that kind of stuff would pass with time, but I wasn’t quite there yet.

  “Sometimes I think I would have always found my way back to you,” Shane said quietly as he stretched out next to me. “Which makes me feel like shit.”

  “There’s no reason to think like that,” I whispered, sliding my hand up his bare chest and around his neck.

  “I wouldn’t trade Iris for Rachel,” he said softly. “I wouldn’t trade Iris for anything.”

  “Shane,” I said, my throat clogged with emotion, “if Rachel hadn’t died, you wouldn’t even know Iris. Making those kind of comparisons is pointless. Don’t do that.”

  “I love you. I love our life. I don’t think I could go back,” he said hoarsely.

  “That’s not even an option, so stop it.”

  He closed his eyes tight, and I slid my hand to the front of his throat as he swallowed.

  “Why do you do that?” he asked, opening his eyes again slowly as he reached up to grip my wrist.