Morgan's Wife

by Lindsay McKenna

  “I think the little rug rat just found any old soft spot to call a pillow,” he teased, taking the hand she had extended to him. Pepper came to the side of his chair and knelt down, her hand resting in his lap.

  “Rug rats—what an awful term!”

  He gave her a nonplussed look. “It’s an affectionate Marine Corps term for kids.”

  “Leave it to the Marine Corps to think that that term shows affection.” Pepper sniffed, leaning over to gather up the crayons and coloring book.

  “Marines aren’t usually in the line of being babysitters,” Jim drawled, teasing her.

  She set the items on the lamp stand next to Jim’s chair. As she straightened, she muttered, “Listen, I’ve been around enough military brats, kids who had to grow up in that sterile, rigid place called the Fortress, and I’ve seen firsthand how little the military cares about the wives and children. Don’t get me started, okay?”

  Jim grinned and leaned over, placing a swift kiss on her mouth. “Okay,” he murmured.

  Pepper sighed and leaned against the arm of the chair, content. “This is so much fun. I just love Christmas.”

  “It’s one of my favorite holidays, too.” He placed his hand on her shoulder. “And you’ve got a great family.” He raised his eyebrows slightly. “You really take after your mother.”

  “Yes. She’s something else, isn’t she?”

  “I was surprised to hear she hikes back into those interior places where the trout are. That’s rugged country.”

  Snorting, Pepper gave him a cool look. “Come on! Women can’t be good guides?”

  He held up his hands. “Remember? I’m still adjusting to the fact that women can do anything a man can. But I have to admit, I can’t see any reason why a woman couldn’t know good fishing spots, too.”

  Pepper shook her head. “You’re one of those guys who grudgingly gives up ground to a woman, you know that?”

  “Maybe so, but I am trying to adjust,” he protested lightly.

  “Stick around me and you’ll change a lot quicker,” she muttered, smiling. Jim’s eyes were warm with tenderness, and Pepper felt wrapped in a euphoria she still had trouble trusting. The last time she’d uttered those heartfelt words I love you, John had died. In the past few days, she had realized she was genuinely ready to let go of the past and embrace the present. What she felt for Jim more than rivaled what she’d felt for John. But how should she tell Jim? She wasn’t sure if he was ready to commit at such a serious level. Did she dare believe that what she experienced in his touch and his kisses and saw in his eyes was love? After all, he’d never said the words to her. Would he ever?

  Sighing, Pepper said, “Molly’s beside herself. Her friends from Annapolis and Pensacola flight school will be here in a few minutes. I guess this is the first time they’ve all been able to get leave, meet somewhere and have a great time together.”

  “Sort of like a college reunion,” Jim said.

  “Yes. Molly’s told me all about Dana and Maggie—how they shared an apartment in Pensacola when they were there to get their navy aviator wings. I’m excited to meet them myself. Molly has told me so much about them, I feel like I already know them. And it will be interesting to see the men they’ve chosen as husbands. How they compare.”

  “Oh?” Jim took her hand and laced his fingers with hers.

  “Well, you know.” Pepper laughed.

  “Is this womanspeak? Some kind of mysterious verbal shorthand we poor males try to decipher, but can’t?”

  Pepper had the good grace to blush. “Sorry. Yes, it is. I guess I’m curious about the men from the standpoint that all three of these women are very strong, confident people. It’s been my experience that most men get defensive or project like crazy around woman like that. It takes a man who is really comfortable with his masculinity, as a total person, to appreciate women like us, that’s all.”

  “So you’re going to compare Griff Turcotte and Wes Bishop with me?” He saw Pepper’s cheeks grow even brighter red and grinned.

  “Not exactly….” she hedged, obviously uncomfortable.

  Laughing huskily, Jim whispered, “I know I’m not the perfect twenty-first-century male, but I’m trying. And I think that’s what counts, don’t you?”

  Leaning over, Pepper kissed him quickly on his smiling mouth. The heat in his eyes touched her deeply. “It does count,” she murmured. “Besides, you might pick up some good pointers from these guys, especially Wes Bishop. I understand Maggie is a real go-getter. She’s one of the first women in the navy to fly the fighters up against the boys—and she beats them on a regular basis.”

  “Hmm, maybe I will,” Jim drawled, holding her laughter-filled gaze, which sparkled with an emotion he wanted to call love. Was Pepper ready to commit to him? To release the past with John once and for all? Jim had seen her seesaw back and forth in the days he’d spent with her at the cabin. Their conversations had tiptoed around the issue. But he’d also seen the deepening of their own relationship. He loved her. Could she put herself out on a limb and love for a second time in her life? Could she do it for him? He still wasn’t sure.

  The doorbell rang, and they watched Molly fly from the kitchen to the foyer, her long blond hair streaming behind her. Pepper laughed and shook her head. Molly was such a sprite, completely uninhibited, and it reminded her to stay in touch with her own childlike emotions. The woman opened the door, shrieked and flung her arms wide.

  Pepper was content to stand at Jim’s side and wait until the group shed their coats and gear and came into the living room. Molly’s cheeks were pink with excitement, her eyes sparkling with tears as she held the hands of her two dearest friends. She brought them around the room, introducing them to everyone. Pepper and Jim were the last to be introduced.

  “Dana and Maggie, meet one of us, Pepper Sinclair. Can you believe it? She made it through Army Ranger school, beat the guys at their own game, was the highest scoring of all of them, and they wouldn’t let her graduate? Pepper’s a smoke jumper now, for the Forest Service. Pepper, meet my friends.”

  Laughing, Pepper held out her hand to red-haired Maggie Donovan-Bishop, whose eaglelike eyes seemed to miss nothing. Maggie’s handshake was firm, her smile genuine. Dana Turcotte, who possessed an intensity and introspectiveness that reminded Pepper of Cam, shook her hand next.

  Pepper was delighted by this unusual chance to meet her “own kind.” Though few women had joined the smoke jumpers so far, those who had possessed similar hallmark traits. It was obvious Maggie and Dana had them, too. As Molly introduced Jim, giving a quick sketch of his background, Pepper was able to stand back and observe their reaction to him. Maggie grinned, thrust her hand forward and shook Jim’s hand vigorously. Dana was more circumspect, more official, eyeing him with a bit of wariness, or watchfulness, perhaps. Pepper wondered if Dana had had a bad time in general with men, to make her so guarded.

  Cam brought the two husbands around next. Pepper liked outgoing and warm Wes Bishop, who was a pilot with United Parcel Service and flew the “heavies,” as they called the jumbo jets, all over the world, hauling cargo. Griff Turcotte had a rugged face, a tough exterior, and was more reserved, like Dana. Shaking his hand, Pepper felt Griff was exactly what Dana needed. It was obvious they were happy—she had seen them trade an affectionate glance shortly after the introductions and before Molly had dragged the two women off to the kitchen to give them her late grandmother’s recipe for the hot chocolate she’d made for everyone.

  Jim went into the kitchen and brought out cups of the famous chocolate for the two pilots. It struck him that the men had formed a loose circle near the roaring fireplace, while the women were in the kitchen, chatting away, laughing and working together on the meal to come. There were differences between men and women, and Jim honored them. He turned his attention to Wes, who pinned him with an interested look.

  “Molly said you’re a Recon Marine?”

  “Yes, a ground pounder compared to you air guys,” Jim sai
d, grinning. Everyone laughed. Jim was familiar with the ongoing rivalry between ground troops and the pilots who owned the air above them.

  “I won’t hold it against you,” Wes murmured, his grin stretching wide across his face.

  “I’ll forgive you, too.”

  Chuckling, Griff said, “Looks like you have your own tiger by her tail.”

  Jim stared at him blankly.

  Griff motioned lazily toward the kitchen. “Pepper is like Dana and Maggie—ahead of her time, a trailblazer.”

  “I see…yes, she is.”

  “How are you rolling with it all?” Griff asked curiously as he sized Jim up.

  “It’s new to me,” Jim admitted. “Sometimes I fall into some pretty pedestrian traps regarding stereotypes.”

  Wes chuckled indulgently. “Tell me about it. Maggie has changed my language from ‘man’ or ‘woman’ to ‘person,’ and I had to learn very quickly that being a man doesn’t give you special privileges.”

  “At all,” Turcotte agreed, chuckling.

  “I don’t think we deserve special privileges,” Jim said. “Pepper has taught me a lot lately about the way women have been held down or kept in what’s considered their ‘place.’”

  Wes Bishop sighed and raised his cup of chocolate. “To our ladies, who have and continue to make us better human beings, gentlemen.”

  Jim had no problem with that toast and clinked the side of his cup against the others’. As he sipped the chocolate, he enjoyed watching the women in the kitchen. They had such a camaraderie—a closeness men simply didn’t seem to foster. He liked the way the women reached out, touching one another on the shoulder or arm, or came over and slipped an arm around each other’s waist in a hug before continuing on with their kitchen duties. He was struck by how thoroughly the women worked as a team. They didn’t fit into the boss-and-underlings structure that men seemed to insist on.

  What was most striking to Jim was the way that, although Pepper had just met Maggie and Dana, she was immediately absorbed into their group. He decided there was a lot to be learned from women. Their ability to become warmly personal and freely show feelings left him wanting to be more open with his own gender.

  As he stood chatting amiably with the other men, Jim realized that Maggie, Dana and Molly had already rubbed off on their husbands. These three pilots seemed noticeably more open and personable than the men Jim knew. Even more surprising was the way that Wes or Griff would every once in a while reach out and touch each other’s shoulder or arm to emphasize something they were saying.

  Jim smiled to himself, liking the discovery and seeing how these self-assured women had influenced the men they loved. Most of all, he was struck by the fact that all three men possessed the ability to be flexible and to compromise—certainly the main component to the longevity of any marriage today. These men weren’t lapdogs, nor were they battered males with no egos. Just the opposite. These were highly competent men, with a confidence and assurance that came from within. It wasn’t a show, Jim sensed, but a depth of strength they had about their own masculinity that enabled them not only to support the strengths of their wives, but to push them to become all that they could be.

  Finishing his cup of hot chocolate, Jim wandered into the kitchen. Pepper was in the middle of the women, her mother at her side, as she finished stuffing the huge turkey. Luckily, the kitchen was large, in keeping with the old-time kitchens of a bygone era. Jim moved to the end of the counter that wasn’t being used.

  Maggie Donovan-Bishop had spare, lean hands like Pepper’s. She worked alongside Molly who was telling her how to make her grandmother’s special recipe for Jell-O salad. Dana Turcotte stood a little to the side peeling the potatoes that would soon be mashed into a frothy white mound. Pepper and her mother exchanged warm looks, smiles hovering around their mouths. Yes, this was a happy group, indeed.

  Pouring himself a third cup of hot chocolate, Jim left the kitchen and headed back to where the men were standing. His heart was with Pepper. What would she do when she opened his gift after dinner? The Sinclairs opened their gifts on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas morning, Pepper had explained, because she and Cam, when they were very young, had been unable to sleep Christmas Eve out of excitement. So Mary Sinclair had decided they could open presents Christmas Eve, instead, to keep the holiday peaceful.

  Jim tried to hone in on the men’s conversation, but his mind and heart were elsewhere. What if Pepper took his gift the wrong way? He knew she wanted to tell him she loved him. Hell, he could see it in her eyes, feel it in her touch and hear it in the tone of her wonderfully husky voice. But what if his gift backfired? It could create a destructive split in their new relationship. Should he take the gift back? Hold it until later? His mind and heart seesawed over the possibilities. Finally, exhausted emotionally from the indecision, Jim decided to fly with his original plan. His spontaneity thus far had gotten him Pepper. He had to trust his own sense of creativity and honor his intuition to get him and Pepper to where he so much wanted them to end up—together. Soon enough, he would know—one way or another. The thought scared the living hell out of him.

  Jim sat in an overstuffed velour chair opposite the Christmas tree. Everyone was opening gifts, and the room rang with the sounds of paper being ripped off, children squealing with delight and adults making more-subtle sounds of pleasure as they viewed their gifts for the first time. Pepper sat at Jim’s feet, her long legs tucked demurely beneath her skirt, a number of already opened boxes beside her. But Jim was having trouble enjoying the happy scene. His heart was pounding in his chest and his mouth felt dry. What would she think of his gift?

  Pepper had opened gifts from her family—common-sense items such as a new pair of Levi’s to replace her well-worn ones, sweaters to keep her warm during the harsh Montana winter and photos of her niece and nephew to put in her cabin. Jim saw her look back through the packages she’d opened, a puzzlement on her face. Cam and Warren had distributed all the gifts beneath the tree earlier, and everyone had piles of colorfully decorated boxes heaped nearby.

  Pepper picked through the surrounding wrapping and ribbons, wondering if she’d overlooked a gift from Jim. She had bought him a Shetland wool sweater in bright red and yellow to remind him of his Marine Corps heritage, as well as a watch to replace the one that had been damaged during the mission. Now, moving the paper aside, the sounds of laughter and surprise still carrying through the large living room, Pepper felt a stab of panic as she riffled through everything once more just to make sure. Jim had gone somewhere two days ago—to Anaconda, he’d told her. He’d been gone all afternoon and hadn’t arrived back at the cabin until late that night. Pepper hadn’t asked why, figuring that if he wanted her to know, he would have told her. Plus there’d been a look in his eyes that had silently asked her not to question him.

  She felt the touch of Jim’s hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she met his grave green gaze.

  “I think you were looking for this?” he said, his voice low and slightly strained.

  Pepper’s eyes widened as he placed a small box wrapped in gold foil and a silver bow in her hand. “Oh…”

  Jim smiled unevenly, aware that some of the background noise had abated. He looked up to realize everyone was watching them expectantly. How could they know? he wondered, his mouth suddenly dry with nervousness. He squeezed Pepper’s shoulder. “Go ahead, open it, sweetheart.”

  Pepper looked up to see everyone intently watching her. Silence abruptly reigned in the room, except for the soft crackle and snap of flames in the fireplace. She laughed a little nervously and set the small box in her lap. Molly, Maggie and Dana edged closer, grinning and elbowing each other, as if they knew a secret she did not. What had Jim bought for her? Stymied, Pepper grew impatient with the bow, finally pulling it off with strength rather than finesse.

  Laughing nervously, she looked up at Jim. “I’m not very good at opening things.”

  He smiled back. “I know.”

 
His words fell softly, warmly, across her. Pepper took a deep breath and ripped off the gold-foil wrapping. Inside a white satin box was another, smaller box of red velvet. Her heart plummeted as she hesitantly touched it. No, it couldn’t be. Could it? She gave Jim a look of inquiry, and saw tenderness burning in his eyes.

  Touched beyond words, Pepper lifted the box in her left hand and sprung the small, gold latch that raised the lid. A gasp escaped her. The other women quickly crowded around.

  “Ohh,” Maggie whispered, a wicked glint in her eyes as she looked first at Pepper, then at Jim. “He’s serious….”

  Dana touched Pepper’s shoulder. “It’s beautiful,” she said in a choked voice.

  Molly whispered, “Gosh, what a lovely Christmas gift for you, Pepper. How romantic….”

  Pepper felt Jim’s hand tighten on her shoulder, as if silently asking her what she thought of his gift. Tears blurred her vision momentarily, and she self-consciously wiped them from her eyes. In the box was an obviously antique wedding-ring set. She lightly touched them with her trembling fingers, not daring to believe they were really for her.

  Jim leaned down, his voice a broken whisper. “Those were my grandmother’s rings. She was very special to me, to our family. Before she died ten years ago, she asked me to take them, to give them to a woman I would love as much as she had loved my grandfather.” As Pepper lifted her chin and looked at him, he felt a powerful wave of joy sweep through him. Her eyes sparkled with tears. Reaching out, he caressed her flaming cheek. The silence was complete around them. Everyone’s gaze was pinned on them, on the emotional moment.

  “I—they are beautiful, Jim. Beautiful…” Pepper whispered.

  “There’s no hurry,” he rasped, sliding his hand along her cheek, smiling gently down at her. “It’s not meant to rush you, or what we have. I just wanted something special for you, for Christmas. I love you, Mary Susan Sinclair.” He leaned down, caressing her parted lips, which tasted of salt from her happy tears. Her lower lip trembled, and he kissed her deeply, wanting to impart to her just how fiercely he loved her.