Gathering the Threads

by Cindy Woodsmall

  Abram seemed unsure what to say, but his face contorted as he turned to his older brother.

  “Ah.” Mark nodded, looking sincere. “Got it. Would you like us to make a sweep of the whole house and all the outbuildings, looking for other phones? With two families under the same roof, nine adults, a teen, and a couple of preteens, we are sure to find one or two cell phones. And if doing that sincerely feels right and important, we could do the same in the homes and outbuildings of your adult children, Bishop Noah.” Mark’s eyes were wide, and his body language said he was ready to embark on the task immediately. Although he appeared fully sincere in his offer to help out, Lovina knew he was challenging the man. Her usually jovial son was angry, but he hid it well. “I’m sure we can find the contraband.”

  The bishop angled his head, as if trying to decide whether Mark was sincere or questioning his authority. “She’s exchanged texts with Quill Schlabach. It is rumored she met him at the B&B.”

  Abram took a step toward his Daed. “Just Ariana is being questioned for having contact with Quill?”

  Lovina didn’t know whether to be proud of her sons for taking up for Ariana or disappointed that they would question their Daed and the bishop. Either way, the conversation had made a sharp turn that could bring repercussions down on Lovina’s and Isaac’s heads.

  The bishop sat up straight, his face taut. “Isaac, it sounds as if we should talk with all of your children to see if they’ve had contact with Quill.”

  Lovina’s heart lurched, and Isaac’s eyes met hers. Any questioning of Ariana or their other children about misconduct concerning Quill made them hypocrites.

  Five months ago when they’d realized Ariana might not be their biological daughter, they had reached out to Quill for help, and he met with them secretly. Before Quill’s investigation was over, Lovina and Isaac dressed like the Englisch in order to go unnoticed to a college play in which Skylar was performing, and Quill drove them. If the bishop knew any of those things, they could be shunned for a month, maybe two. But news of their deeds would tarnish their reputation for years, maybe decades. People didn’t forget direct disobedience, especially from mature adults. But even now, Lovina couldn’t imagine any other way to deal with what they’d been facing, and Quill had been wise, kind, and discreet.

  Isaac opened his mouth several times as if he was trying to speak up. Was he going to confess their sin to the bishop?

  Lovina had to do something before she and Isaac were shunned. No one ever fully recovered their reputation after a shunning. It was her worst fear, after the health and well-being of her family. She quickly made her way to the percolator. “Would you care for more coffee?” She held it out toward the bishop.

  He shook his head.

  “Noah,”—Isaac clasped his hands and looked at Lovina, a sure sign he was about to be brutally honest.

  Lovina dropped the percolator, spilling coffee and grounds on her freshly cleaned rug and hardwood floors. Both men jumped to their feet.

  “Ach, I’m so sorry.” She was sorry she needed to resort to such trickery to put a stop to this meeting.

  While the bishop studied the hem of his pants, Lovina nonchalantly elbowed Isaac and shook her head, hoping he would take her cue and draw this to a close. “Mark, grab some towels.”

  Isaac held out his hand for the bishop’s mug. “I appreciate your time and wisdom, Noah.”

  Noah’s face once again turned red. “You’ll draw this to a close while she continues to defy you?”

  “Ya. As my sons have pointed out, other Amish have cell phones, and I need some time to think. We wouldn’t want to be hypocrites.”

  Mark passed the bishop a towel. The bishop gave Isaac his mug and wiped coffee from his pants. “You are letting your children lead you when it should be the other way around. This isn’t about others having phones they shouldn’t. Ariana is refusing to obey either of us, in part because she doesn’t want us to see the evidence of why she went to that B&B in the first place.” He handed the towel to Lovina. “But this is your home, and I will give you some time to sort out the problem on your own.”

  Isaac gestured toward the front door. “I appreciate how much the flock means to you.”

  “Ya, I think you need some time alone with Ariana. She needs to stay close. Very close. That’s what she needs.”

  Isaac walked the bishop to the door, and they chatted about the weather as the man put on his coat. Ariana helped Lovina wipe up coffee and grounds, but no one in the living room spoke. Isaac waved as Noah left.

  Isaac returned to the living room. “Ariana, tell Rudy good-bye, and all of you go upstairs, please. Ariana, we’ll talk later.”

  She was on her knees, gathering up wet coffee grounds, when she lifted her head and studied her Daed, looking perturbed and hurt. If she had things she wanted to say, she held back. She put the grounds in a towel, wiped her hands thoroughly, and then got up and walked to the coatrack with Rudy.

  Mark finished mopping up the coffee in his area and put the wet towel on a dry one. He stood. “Daed.” He shook his head, looking appalled and confused by his Daed’s actions.

  His Daed held up one hand. “Go.”

  Mark and Abram took their muddy-looking towels, tossed them into the kitchen sink, and went upstairs.

  Lovina stepped toward the kitchen so she could see the back door. Rudy had his arms around Ariana, his face close to hers. A moment later Ariana pulled away a bit and whispered to him. He looked angry as she started to walk away. Rudy grabbed her hand and said something. Ariana nodded, and Rudy leaned in and kissed her on the lips before she went upstairs.

  After everyone had dispersed, Lovina turned to her husband. “Isaac,” she whispered.

  “I know.” He had both hands clasped on his head. “I have no idea what to do or what to believe.” He lowered his hands and started pacing. “I’ve been so worried about her for months, afraid she was accepting too much of the world’s ways into her soul.”

  “I knew we had concerns, but this is the first time you’ve voiced your feelings. Have you been stuffing them deep?”

  “I guess. When she confirmed my fears, I longed to set her straight, for her sake, to help her get her head and heart clear, but”—he sat and propped his head in his hands—“all I did was confuse everything by saying too much to the bishop. But if half of what the bishop said actually took place at the B&B, she’s wrong, Lovina. Just wrong.”

  Lovina hurt for her husband. He wanted what was best for Ariana. “Isaac.” She knelt in front of him. “We can’t help her while being hypocrites.”

  “Hypocrites? We did what we had to in order to uncover the truth and find Skylar. Nothing more. Ariana took the phone off the table in front of the bishop and me and then refused to give it back, Lovina.” His eyes filled with tears. “She’s so different it scares me.”

  “Me too. But we knew she would return with new views and new opinions.”

  “We have to be able to put rules in place and her obey them, but I have no idea how to deal with this new-and-not-improved Ariana. I know this much: her first hour back home she spoke of wanting to move in with Berta, and that does not need to happen. I don’t care how many available rooms Berta has.”

  “Isaac, please. She and Berta have been close for years. Berta is like a second mother and a good friend rolled into one. Even when everyone in the district distrusted that household, we never tried to curtail that relationship, and if we try now, it could backfire.”

  Isaac stood and gave her a hand, helping her stand. Then he went to the window and stared out.

  Lovina understood him, from his jumbled reasoning to his outspoken zeal. The unnerving thing about young adults is they have the right to defy their parents and make their own decisions, and yet they don’t understand enough about life to grasp the consequences.

  “We made it work with Skylar.” Isaac turned, looking less shaken now. “We stumbled, much like tonight. Now she’s here because she wants to be, and she’
s free of drugs.”

  “But, Isaac, please hear me. Skylar had nowhere else to go. It was here, rehab, or live on the streets. She chose what she thought was the lesser of those evils. Ariana has choices, lots of them.”

  “Rudy is an anchor, even if I’m not.”

  Lovina thought about what she’d just seen. “You can’t put all your hopes in that. Their relationship has been under a lot of stress for almost as long as they’ve been seeing each other.”

  This family had always needed Ariana. From a young age Ariana brought things to the table that no one else could.

  But did she still need them?

  Ariana stirred from her sleep. Where was she? Prying open her eyes, she saw mostly darkness, and she still couldn’t place where she was. She spread her hands palms down, feeling a thick pallet of blankets. She reached farther and felt a cold floor. The familiar scent of sulfur hit her nostrils about the same time she saw hands with a lit match. She blinked. Why was a girl in blue jeans lighting a kerosene lamp?

  “Ariana.” The voice came from someone other than the lamp holder.

  Understanding dawned as Ariana took several deep breaths. She was in her old bedroom, her Amish one, and Skylar, the girl in the jeans, was in her room. Or since Skylar was the true Brenneman twin, maybe this was her bedroom.

  Every single question was one of ten million things Ariana no longer knew. Funny how very sure she used to be. But the feelings she had now were the same ones she’d struggled with when she was forced to leave home—loneliness and confusion.

  Martha knelt beside her and held out a mug. “We’ve tried to wake you several times. Sorry to say it, but we’re leaving for the café in twenty minutes.”

  “Denki.” She sat up and took the coffee, grateful for some caffeine.

  After Daed and the bishop questioned her last night and she and Rudy argued, she’d hardly slept at all. It was going to take several minutes to get going. But she couldn’t wait to walk into the café. Her café. She had dreamed about it several times over the past few months.

  Maybe there she could figure out why the end-of-the-day receipts didn’t match the deposits.

  Martha went to the line of hooks on the wall and grabbed an apron.

  Skylar peered down at her while brushing her hair. “You look as bad as I felt my first few days here.”

  “Thanks.” Ariana forced a smile. Skylar favored Salome as much as Ariana favored Brandi, the mom Skylar had grown up with.

  Skylar pulled a sweater over her head. “Did I sprout horns or wings or something?”

  Ariana startled, realizing she’d been staring, but it wasn’t a good time to mention how much Skylar favored the Brennemans. Maybe Skylar didn’t want to look like them. “How are you?”

  “Yeah, sure—that’s what you were thinking.”

  Martha angled her head at Skylar. “Be a little nicer, please.” Martha then looked at Ariana. “Skylar’s done some amazing things with the café. Remember that. It’ll help you adjust to her brutal sarcasm.” With that said, Martha left the room, closing the door behind her. So where was Susie?

  “That was me being nice.” Skylar shrugged. “You don’t have to go with us today—this week even. I discovered there’s a grace period.”

  Skylar had invited Ariana not to go to the café? It was Ariana’s café! Feeling territorial was new to Ariana, and she wasn’t sure what to do with it. She took a sip of her coffee, trying to think of the best way to respond. “I appreciate the heads-up, but I know how my parents do things, and I’ve already cut into my grace period.”

  Skylar pulled her hair into a ponytail. “My parents, actually.”

  Ariana couldn’t believe her ears, and she had no response. With yesterday’s argument with Daed and the bishop still spinning inside her, she had no idea what to think about anything. How had her phone ended up on the bathroom floor? She’d thought it was still tucked away in her suitcase. It must’ve been in the pocket of the apron she’d gotten out of her suitcase before getting a shower.

  Even Rudy thought she should give up her phone. But the problem wasn’t about the phone, although she had no desire to hand it over. She had the right to say no, and despite what the church said, she had the right to stay in contact with her biological family and Quill and anyone else. If Nicholas had taught her anything, it was not to be bullied by anyone for any reason—although he’d probably taught her that lesson unintentionally.

  More important than the phone, she hoped the bishop was the only one who’d been told of the happenings at the B&B. It was possible a former Amish person working at the place told someone who was still Amish, maybe a cousin or a close friend who hadn’t joined the church yet, and whoever they told had called the bishop. She hoped that was the case. At least that way the events, both true and misconstrued, weren’t being spread throughout Summer Grove.

  The bishop was exacting, but he wasn’t a gossip.

  Skylar tossed the hairbrush on the dresser. “I don’t know why I said they’re my parents. I don’t even know why I’m still here. I didn’t think Dad—I mean Nicholas—would let you return this soon.”

  “I was surprised by that too. And I fully relate to not understanding why I’m saying and doing certain things.”

  How had she entered the Englisch world knowing nothing, spent three months being purposefully educated by her dad and mom, and then returned to the Amish knowing less than she knew before?

  She’d learned a lot about history, geography, philosophy, technology, and more. But when it came to the really important stuff, the kinds of things people built their lives on, she knew less than ever before.

  Someone tapped on the door. “Skylar? Ariana?” Abram called.

  “Kumm.” Ariana hadn’t yet budged from the pallet with her cup of coffee. Why was moving so hard this morning? Lack of sleep was one thing, but this felt more like the adjustment of coming back home was pressing down on her.

  She had expected that to be gone after her week at the B&B. Being home was what she’d fought for the whole time she was draus in da Welt, so where was the joy and relief?

  Abram eased open the door. He looked from Ariana to Skylar. “Morning.” He smiled, but the tension among the three of them seemed to have sucked all the air out of the room. Skylar was his twin, and Ariana had been in her spot for too many years already. Abram’s face betrayed the awkwardness he felt. “It’s time to go.”

  “I’m ready.” Skylar grabbed a coat off the line of hooks. “I think Ariana has decided to stay home.”

  “I’m going.” Ariana spilled a few drops of coffee as she rushed to her feet. She might need to move out of her home to make room for Skylar, but she would not give up her place at the café. “I’ve just been moving slowly. Give me ten minutes. Okay?”

  “I’ll say it again, Ari. It’s good to have you home.” Abram smiled. “But five minutes would be better. We have a system, a good one.”

  The “we” didn’t include Ariana, but it would, in time.

  “We do.” Skylar nodded at Abram as if the two were tight.

  “Okay, I’ll be ready in five.”

  Skylar walked out, and Abram closed the door, leaving Ariana alone. She peeled out of her nightgown and grabbed her pleated Amish dress. She’d put her apron on and pin it in place once she was in the carriage.

  There were facts she had to accept with grace and understanding. This was Skylar’s real home. Abram was Skylar’s real twin. Mamm and Daed were Skylar’s real parents.

  Ariana had been naive to think that running back home would cause her life to be set right again. All she’d accomplished thus far was to unnerve Skylar by being here and to unnerve her parents with her newfound understanding of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

  Once in her dress and with the apron slung over her shoulder, Ariana flung open the door and scurried out. Good thing she’d showered last night. All she needed to do was splash water on her face and brush her teeth. She could comb her hair and pin it up i
n the carriage.

  Daed was on the landing, heading in her direction. “Guder Marye.”

  Uneasiness filled her. She used to trust him in every way possible, but that had been shattered, not so much by yesterday’s events, but by Nicholas teaching her how to analyze people’s stance by asking herself about their motives. Daed believed his motive was pure and protective, but she thought she saw a motivation based on fear—fear of her not being exactly who he thought she needed to be and fear of how the community would judge him if they learned she was stumbling around like a drunk as she tried to get her feet under her.

  “Morning, Daed.” She continued rushing toward the bathroom, in part because the others might already be waiting in the rig, and in part because she wasn’t ready for another encounter that could go down the wrong path. Thankfully she would be gone most of today.

  He stepped in front of her, smiling but appearing apprehensive.

  “Sorry, Daed.” She angled, sliding around him. “I’m in a hurry.”

  “You aren’t, actually.”

  She stopped cold. “They’re waiting on me.”

  “I think it’d be best if you stayed home today.”

  “But…” Instantly tears welled. “I…I’ve been dreaming of today for months. For years, if you count all the time Abram and I worked to save for—”

  “You seemed fine about not going last week.”

  “I wasn’t fine with it. I was taking care of me so I didn’t fall apart weeks from now. I explained all that. And I spent a lot of time trying to get the books straight, so I was tending to the café while at the B&B.”

  “Still, not today, Ariana.” Daed raised a brow, his face taut. “I sent the others on to the café. We—your Mamm, me, and you—need time. It would give us a chance to talk.”

  A familiar feeling washed over her, and she tried to place it. Images of her first days in Nicholas’s home and the arguing between him and Brandi flooded back to her. She had felt trapped, out of place, and powerless.