Gathering the Threads

by Cindy Woodsmall

  The very hour that she, Skylar, and Abram were born, a fire swept through the clinic, burning it to the ground. Her Daed, the man who raised her and was overwhelmed with fear concerning the direction of her life, could’ve easily chosen to rescue only his wife, Mamm, and their newborn twins—Abram and Skylar. If it hadn’t been for Daed’s heroism and effort, Ariana’s real mom, Brandi, would’ve died before an ambulance could get to her. If Ariana had survived the fire and been paired with the right mom, where would she be now? Nicholas wouldn’t have raised her. When she was born, he’d been married to someone else, and he’d wanted Brandi to end the pregnancy. Ariana could’ve been put up for adoption.

  “The possibilities of who would be where today are overwhelming to think about.” But empathy for who Nicholas was now caused her to reel in her emotions. He regretted being that man, and he couldn’t undo it. “Dad, all I’m trying to say is people clearly mishandle situations because their understanding and motivations are wrong. I’m not walking out on my Daed and the Brenneman family. That’s about all I know right now, but look at how differently you and I see life, politics, and faith today compared to four months ago.”

  “You’re right. I see those things vastly different. But, Ari, I’ve never known anyone who looks at things the way you do.” His contrition was clear, and she wished it were as easy to change the minds and hearts of Amish men.

  “I’m not as clear headed as I sounded just then. I only know that Daed deserves time and respect and that I feel a bit like a traitor.”

  “Why?”

  “You were the bad guy in all our minds only a few months ago, and everything you stood for was evil. Now I’m on the phone with you, talking about them as if I’ve switched sides.”

  “Could we find middle ground?”

  That was a really good question. Was there any middle ground? If so, could she find it? “I used to think the same way as the congregation did this morning—that people need to be either fully in or get out, way out, as in no contact. And there are some scriptures that back that kind of thinking.”

  “I imagine we could find scriptures that also give balance to those verses. Would you like us to try that?”

  “Maybe later.” Who would’ve thought that Nicholas Jenkins would be someone she could be brutally honest with and confide in? She was grateful he encouraged her to speak out. When she did, her mind cleared a bit. Maybe that’s why the world was so quick to grab an opinion. Whether the view was right or wrong, it brought a measure of clarity to the confusion.

  She stared at the exquisite old wood floors. A fresh ache mixed with the new joy of finally being inside her café again.

  “The café is charming.”

  He cleared his throat. “So walk me through it and tell me all about it.”

  The kindness in his voice strengthened her. Her breath was frosty, but there was no potbelly stove installed as she had intended. She walked down the small hall, looking into the kitchen area, noticing how well organized and spotless it was. “The kitchen is endearing with hanging pots, open shelves filled with clean dishes, a huge double sink, and an old refrigerator. Everything is spotless and is either powered by natural gas or the generator. But something has a funny-sounding squeal to it.”

  As she searched for the noise, she paused a few steps from the ordering counter and looked out at the tables filling the dining area. “Behind the ordering bar is a long countertop that is now filled with shiny silver coffeemakers and gadgets of all types. I have no idea how to operate those.”

  “Sounds as if Skylar may need to walk you through that.”

  Ariana couldn’t imagine Skylar showing her anything except the front door. Ariana would be glad to go out the front door, but she couldn’t right now. If she moved in with Berta, it would put her under suspicion of helping Ariana remain rebellious. The café had a good loft, but if Ariana lived here, it would hurt her Daed and embarrass him in front of the community. Besides, if he refused to let her move here and she did so anyway, he could insist Abram, Susie, Martha, and Skylar not come here to help out. Maybe they would come anyway, at least some of them, but it would cause a rift, and she wouldn’t be a part of that.

  She decided to change the subject. “Abram was right. It is all very quaint and nice, despite the Englisch technology.”

  “Will you try your hand at making coffee?”

  “Abram said they’ve taken the percolator home, and they now have no way to make coffee other than with the machines Skylar got them to order, ones that are powered by the generator.”

  “Ha, you’re caught,” Nicholas teased, “if you want coffee.”

  She had no choice. If she wanted to get the hang of running this place—or at least working here in a skilled manner—she needed to start the generator and figure out these machines.

  The phone beeped, letting her know the battery was running low. “I better go. If I can get the generator started, I’ll recharge my phone and text you and the others later.”

  “One thing first. I’ve been online, looking through Scripture as we’ve talked. Do you recall the verses about not loving the world or anything in the world?”

  “By heart since before I was born, I think. It’s First John 2:15.”

  “I thought you’d know that one well. So you’re also familiar with the part that says all of you know the truth?”

  “I don’t recall that one.” Her heart felt a little lighter just knowing he, a nonbeliever, was trying to find answers in the only way that would help her. “What’s it talking about?” It was a perk that this meant he was still reading the Word even though she was gone. Seemed funny that his sole purpose in reading the Word when she first went to his home was to prove to her how ridiculous it was. Now he read it to be of benefit to her. That was really sweet.

  “It’s just a few verses later, and there are lots of versions, but paraphrasing, it basically says you don’t need anyone to teach you right from wrong because the same anointing that was in Christ is in you and teaches you all things about truth and it is no lie.” Nicholas paused. “I know you’ll want to study that for yourself, but, Ari, it sounds to me as if the Bible itself is saying you have the right to discern between truth and a lie because of your faith in Christ.”

  “You don’t believe any of that.”

  “But it’s your handbook of life and liberty. Isn’t it odd that you know the verses just above it and don’t recall these at all? Are you allowing that bishop to take verses out of context and convince you that the ministers have more rights before God than your own handbook?”

  “Who’s it written to?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Is it talking to men? If it is, that helps me not at all.”

  “Oh. No, it seems to be talking to everyone. I’m just skimming, but the writer uses the words ‘dear children’ several times and ‘dear friends’ at least once. It’s a beautiful chapter, even I can see—”

  Her phone beeped and then fell completely silent. She looked at it while pushing buttons. It was dead, but at least Nicholas knew that might happen.

  Silence engulfed her, as did his paraphrased words from the Bible. You don’t need anyone to teach you right from wrong because the same anointing that was in Christ is in you and teaches you all things about truth.

  Was that possible? Did she have the same anointing that was in Christ? What an amazing thought. She’d settle for a little dusting of that anointing. Dear God, even a dusting of it.

  It would be nice if her phone had power so she could look up the verses herself. But she was finally here, in her café, and the most immediate need was to get her phone recharged and the power going to the café. So she headed out the door to the generator. Once she had it running, she needed to learn how to use the coffee machines. She looked heavenward, seeing low-hanging clouds and flurries. In some ways her life felt as cold as this long, harsh winter and her spiritual understanding was being blown like the snow.

  The squeaking noise return
ed, and she listened closely, trying to determine where it was coming from. With her head tilted and listening carefully, she followed the sound.

  Then the noise of a rig and horses caught her attention, and Rudy pulled a carriage in behind hers and got out. “Hey.”

  Rudy’s admiration of her and his sense of humor used to fill all the spaces between them, but now she felt his disappointment and rumbles of anger.

  “Hi.” They stood looking at each other in the cold as winter’s wind pushed and pulled at them. The sound of squeaking continued to tug at her, but she knew better than to put something else ahead of Rudy.

  He held the horse’s bridle. “I know you came here to be alone, so I won’t stay long. But I talked to the bishop and deacon privately and asked what we could do to set things right again.”

  She went to him, staring up and longing for a hug. “I’m sorry, Rudy.”

  She wanted to marry him and to raise their babies while bringing him honor, not disgrace. She longed to be in good standing with her Daed, the community, and the ministers. But how did she get there from here?

  “I want to believe that, Ari.” He brushed his fingers down her cheek. “But this bedlam that has followed you around since you learned you weren’t a Brenneman has to end. I love you. I want to marry you. Those two things have not changed. They will not change.”

  “Denki.”

  “I’ve spent this week thinking, and I believe what you’ve told me about your feelings and Quill.”

  “Gut.”

  “If you were interested in him, why would you relentlessly push Nicholas to allow you to return to Summer Grove, to your roots, to your family, to me?”

  “Ya. That’s the right conclusion, Rudy.”

  “But…if there is no romance with him, and if it is as you say about Nicholas—that he chose to support MAP on his own without your influence—then do as the bishop and deacon want. Repair at least some of the damage, because right now I look and feel like an idiot. Everyone knows you asked Quill to the B&B, not me.”

  “It’s exactly as I told you. He’s navigated both worlds and lived to tell about it. That’s all.” The squeaking noise tugged at her again. “Do you hear that?” She took Rudy’s hand and started toward the sound.

  He pulled back, stopping her. “Ari, could you focus on us for five minutes, please?”

  She glanced toward the sound before facing Rudy. “Ya. Of course.” His exhaustion seemed to spill over on her, and she just wanted peace…for everyone. “What do they require?”

  “It’s simple really. They want you to repent of your contact with Quill and Nicholas and for you to give your word that you won’t see either one of them again without a minister present.”

  “That’s a lot.”

  “It’s the bare minimum.”

  “I’ve agreed with you about Quill.” She wouldn’t want Rudy seeing or texting a young, single woman. “But Dad? Because of me, he’s reading the Bible, and—”

  “No one will have all that they want, but I’ve worked out something about your phone that I think everyone can live with. You don’t have to turn it over to the ministers or your Daed.”

  “That sounds promising.” But it was disappointing that he wouldn’t even let her finish her sentence about Nicholas. Although she understood Nicholas and had forgiven his faults and appreciated his strengths, all he was to Rudy was a stubborn man who’d changed the harmony and dynamics between Ariana and him.

  “It’s very agreeable,” Rudy said. “You’ll turn it off and give it to me. After we’re married, the bishop will approve the phone as part of your needs for the business, and you can have it back.”

  “That is a good compromise on their part. How did you manage it?”

  “I talked and reasoned and bargained. The ministers take no pleasure in what’s going on.”

  “They targeted me in their lengthy sermons about rebellion and hell.”

  “Gossip was going to inform everyone anyway. It’s out in the open. They’ve cooled off and expressed regret for saying as much as they did.”

  She cupped Rudy’s clean-shaven face. “You are a peacemaker.” She lowered her hands. “But to leave my phone turned off until we’re married?”

  “Instruction begins this spring. We can marry by mid-September. That’s less than eight months.” He smiled. “It’ll take longer than that to carry a child one day. This will bring peace to the district and respect back to your Daed and Mamm.”

  Her powerful defense to Nicholas for keeping the phone seemed to taunt her as it faded on the wind. “I…I’ll think about it.”

  Rudy nodded and kissed her cheek. “Choose us, Ari. Above your Englisch family, your phone, and Quill, choose us.”

  When he put it that way, she longed to nod her head and fall into his arms. “But my family?”

  “It’s horrible luck to discover you have Englisch family, and not just any Englisch family, but, well, you know what yours are like. But we will build a new family—you, me, and our children. And the Brennemans are every bit as much your family as they were before all this.”

  “I never doubted that.” The squeal faded to almost nothing, and despite it not making sense, she wanted to search for the source. “Kumm.” She tugged on his hand, hoping to direct him toward the noise.

  “Nee.” Anger flashed in his eyes. “I was hoping for a more favorable response. Is that too much to ask?”

  Memories of the laughter and fun they used to have whirled in her head. He’d been so patient. If he’d embarrassed her in front of everyone with news of meeting a young woman at a B&B, she wasn’t sure she’d stand near him, calmly holding out solutions.

  “I want to do it for you, Rudy. I do.”

  “And?”

  “I…I need to think about it. I promised Mom and Cameron they could be in my life once you and I were married. I’m an only child for Brandi and Nicholas. At the very least they’ll want a few days each year with their grandchildren, and I was hoping they could come to the wedding. You can understand that, right?”

  “I understand how you feel, Ari, but our reality is we have to choose what we believe over what we long for.”

  “That may be easy for you to say.” He wasn’t talking about cutting his mom and dad out of his life. And beyond her parents, she had other relatives in the Englisch world who mattered too. “I’ll have to cut off part of who I am, and it’s not as if they won’t feel that cut for the rest of their lives.”

  “It wasn’t easy to convince the ministers to find ground where a compromise was possible.”

  “Kumm.” They needed to change the subject and get out of the cold. “I’ll put some coffee on for you while I see what that strange noise is.”

  “Nee. Denki. I’m worn out from the disarray and resentment I’ve handled today, and I’m going home.” He kissed her on the lips. “And apparently you need to think.”

  “I love you, Rudy.”

  He smiled and kissed her cheek. “As God is my witness, I hope so, Ariana.” He winked and got in his carriage.

  She waved good-bye before marching through the snow. The cold, white flakes fell inside her ankle-high black boots, and as she waded through the damp coldness, the squeaking noise grew louder. Whatever it was, it wasn’t coming from inside the café. The farther she walked into the field, the louder it got.

  In the middle of a field of thick snow, she noticed a spot where the white covering was moving. She reached down and poked it. A puppy yelped.

  “Ach, du liewi Bobbeli!” She dusted the snow off of it. It was a little thing, maybe no more than a month old. “Liewi, what are you doing draus here?” She tucked it inside her coat, amazed she’d heard it at all and sorry she hadn’t arrived sooner. “Let’s get you inside and give you some warm milk, ya?”

  Quill’s head pounded. How could his careful planning to get Gia and her children out go so terribly wrong? And the things that went wrong were on him. He should’ve taken everything into account. Would he get anothe
r chance, or would he read in the newspaper that her ex-husband had killed her and taken the children?

  He’d talked to Melanie and another contact, Constance. They both assured him he had done everything right, but he knew better. If he had, Gia and her children would be with him. But Melanie and Constance told him there was nothing that could be done right now. Gia had made her decision, and all they could do was wait to hear from her, which might not happen until her next trip to the grocery store.

  He turned off the car lights, slowly exited the snowy main road, and pulled onto the narrow path on his Mamm’s property. Although the barn was closer to the house and a straight line from it to the main road was the easiest route, Mamm often drove her horse and carriage down this same path to keep it serviceable for her sons year round. In the winter she hitched the horse to an Amish snow scraper. The trail was hidden by a patch of woods that led to the double-wide doors of the old shed. He stopped the vehicle in front of the familiar dilapidated building. He hoped the roof was sturdy enough not to collapse under the thick snow. He wouldn’t mind shoring up the old structure, but doing any work on the building would be a dead giveaway that it wasn’t abandoned. That was not a message his Mamm could afford to send to the community. He put the car in Park and jumped out, leaving the vehicle running as he unlocked and opened the shed doors. He returned to the car and drove inside. After turning off the car, he closed the double-wide doors from the inside and exited through a side door. He eased along the shadows of outbuildings until he was on the porch outside his bedroom window. Using his key, he tapped on the window three times. The sound was faint enough that anyone visiting his Mamm would think the noise was just the old farmhouse, but his Mamm would hear it. She always heard it. A moment later he saw light from a kerosene lantern floating his way.

  He opened the window and began to crawl through the small space. “All clear?” he whispered.